Guest guest Posted November 19, 2006 Report Share Posted November 19, 2006 Dear , Reading your response to LL i feel like there is something i want to say to you...but i have no idea what..so i am just going to start.... " What's important is that you understand exactly how you feel. From my experience, I historically have no idea how I feel as my focus was always on nada; and by proxy, others. " I have no idea how I fell most of the time...but i am really good at knowing how other people feel all the time....and it came as a big shock to me when my therapist said she did not think i was very connected to my feelings...i was confused i guess because i was connected to feeling...it was just the feeling of others...but you put it very nicely...and that really solified a bunch of lose, floating thoughts in my mind...thanks...hmm...i dont think that was what i wanted to say... " I think my next draft of the letter will take a big turn--I'm going to address it to myself; because I've been holed-up for a few weeks now feeling depressed and annoyed with anyone trying to reach me in despair. And I can't remember how I got here. And of course I got here by not keeping it top-of-mind that going NC can unleash an avalanche of guilt. I need something--a letter--to remind me, because this happens a lot. " have you amde any progress in figuring out how you got to the place of depression...again...( i think this is the part i really related to and why i felt compelled to write to you)...this is exactly what happens to me...it feels like one day i just realize..eww...i havent had a shower in days...and i was wearing these pants on monday..and it is saturday!! wait..what happend to the week...and i have found that everytime i feel angry or talk to my nada..or feel happy...or feel anything at all i write it in a book...and then when i am feeling depressed and can not think clearly i read what i have written and it reminds me that i do have a whole life when i am not depressed...and that the terrible things nada says/does are real...they must be if they are in black and white on a page... hmm.... anyway...i guess that was what i wanted to say...i hope that you are feeling better...keep posting and keep us updated... ((((sean)))) laurel ecmc _ --------------------------------- The best gets better. See why everyone is raving about the All-new Yahoo! Mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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