Re: Nada Christmas Card

[Guest guest]

Kerrie, Thank you for sharing, I like that block head comment. It is

nice that you bother did not put the pressure on you. I think with

time every body (except maybe nada) will start to see and respect

boundaries we put up. This year I was the same with me and my dad.

No pressure at Christmas. Since he is starting to come around on the

holidays w/out nada I think he wants me to be there but I have not

been. I think at first he was put off by this but now he respects

it. I can't believe that your sister had her car torched and stolen!

Now that is good real drama!

I know what you mean about nadas trying to buy love. I know mine

seems to do this not just w/ me but w/ every body she comes across.

You did better than I did w/ the Christmas ornaments. I finally got

my things back from her this summer after 4 years and a few months

of waiting and my ornaments were in there. All the ones from my dads

mom were pretty much destroyed but the ones from her mom were in tip

top condition. I was not ready to look at them or put them out. No

only that but from her family they did not put dh's name on any of

them they only acknowledged myself and my 2 children I could not

stomach this. If you don't accept my whole family you don't accept

me! Is that bad? I don't know.

That nanny book sound like a good read. I do like to watch that show

sometimes. I like to see her expressions. I think you really hit it

on the head so many people were on the side lines cheering us on!

That is so empowering to think about! I will have to pick it up and

read it. I like her. Thanks for sharing. I love to read. I read

books often and when I am not reading books I find myself reading

articles about anything on-line. My aunt and grandma are both nanny

fans too so we could all take turns reading the book.

Dh got a gift card from his work for part of his Christmas gift.

They also sent us to dinner. So first we got a night out to a

gourmet restaurant with our kids that was awesome! We otherwise

would have never paid that much for dinner! And now they gave him a

gift card for shopping, so maybe he will let me get a mixer! It is

something I want but I would never want it as a gift from somebody

b/c I could just see it hanging over my head! UGH! No way! I asked

my aunt and my family friend the day after thanks giving to call me

if they saw a good sale on one but after I did I wish I wouldn't

have b/c I didn't want it to look like a hint, I wanted to buy it

myself I just didn't want to go to the mall. KWIM? Well anyways. I

would love to have one but not at that cost!

I will pick up that book thanks for the recommendation! And I am

glad things are working out! Holidays can be joyful we just have to

keep that mindset and try to pull out any wrenches. I can see you

are doing that! Great job! Love Lizzy

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I got the sweetest Christmas card in the mail

yesterday

> > from

> > > > nada

> > > > > > > EVER!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > NOT!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Oh my. She's still a little psychopath as usual.

Almost

> > like

> > > I

> > > > > can

> > > > > > > feel it in my bones when she's up to no good. I felt a

> > little

> > > > > > > paranoid this past week and now it makes sense- duh-

> still

> > > got

> > > > a

> > > > > > nut

> > > > > > > job of a mother hell bent on trying to destroy me b/c

she

> > > > hates

> > > > > > her

> > > > > > > life so freaking much. Oh well. Que Sera, sera.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > She sent a nice donation to Heffer Int'l on behalf of

the

> > > > > children

> > > > > > > and then a card to each kid signed grammie and w/great

> > news-

> > > > she

> > > > > > > started savings accts on behalf of each them. $100 a

> piece-

> >

> > > > > > > ooooooohhhhh! And she was very kind to enclose a card

to

> > us

> > > > > signed

> > > > > > > w/her Christian name- no 'love mom' this year like all

> > > > previous

> > > > > > year-

> > > > > > > ROFL. Like I give a crap, right? Dh said about time

she

> > quit

> > > > > > > defamating the name of good mothers everywhere by

signing

> > > > > it 'mom'-

> > > > > >

> > > > > > > ROFL.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I can tell I've come a long way and want to thank you

all

> > for

> > > > > such

> > > > > > > awesome support and help, especially over this past

year

> > of

> > > > NC. I

> > > > > > > realized when I saw her savings accts for the kids and

> got

> > a

> > > > > > little

> > > > > > > pissed b/c she NEVER saved for us for college, but

> instead

> > > > wiped

> > > > > > out

> > > > > > > our savings accts my dead dad started for us before he

> > died,

> > > > that

> > > > > > I

> > > > > > > was over her. I felt a twinge of anger and then

said 'oh

> > > yeah,

> > > > > > those

> > > > > > > savings accts will last until the boys hit puberty,

have

> > > their

> > > > > > sense

> > > > > > > of rebellion and she needs to wipe out their accts for

> > > another

> > > > > new

> > > > > > > marriage just like she did to dbrother and I when we

were

> > > > > > younger'. I

> > > > > > > was glad to put a black humor twist on the situation

> right

> > > > away.

> > > > > > It

> > > > > > > made me realize she's still playing the same games as

> > always,

> > > > but

> > > > > > its

> > > > > > > futile as I just don't care anymore.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Oh yeah, I got a good burn in by accident on Thursday

> when

> > I

> > > > > > called

> > > > > > > auntie for a recipe and told auntie the news about how

> > most

> > > > tumor

> > > > > > > livers (like what nada's got right now) end up benign

> > after

> > > > > > talking

> > > > > > > to a doctor friend of mine. Auntie informed me that

nada

> > was

> > > > > there

> > > > > > > and I said " oh, then I won't keep you from your

> > socializing.

> > > > Plus

> > > > > > I

> > > > > > > need to get busy making dinner. " After I got off the

> phone

> > I

> > > > > > realized

> > > > > > > auntie didn't say " I love you " like she always does

> either

> > > b/c

> > > > > she

> > > > > > > didn't want nada to know it was me on the phone or

else

> > she

> > > > was

> > > > > > > pissed that I didn't even care to talk to nada the day

> she

> > > had

> > > > > her

> > > > > > > laproscopy for her 'tumors' and check up on her. ROFL.

> > Either

> > > > way-

> > > > >

> > > > > > > could care less. Auntie's problem. Not mine. I kind of

> > > laughed

> > > > at

> > > > > > how

> > > > > > > OVER guilt and obligation I am that I just don't even

> > think

> > > > about

> > > > > > it

> > > > > > > anymore. I do feel for Auntie since she's still in the

> > middle

> > > > of

> > > > > > it,

> > > > > > > but that's a place she choses b/c she choses

obligation.

> I

> > > saw

> > > > > how

> > > > > > > enormously I've grown this past year since going NC. I

> can

> > > say

> > > > > > w/all

> > > > > > > honesty that I don't ever care to go back and that I

> don't

> > > > miss

> > > > > > the

> > > > > > > relationship at all- only the illusion that I was

> > unwilling

> > > to

> > > > > > wake

> > > > > > > up to for so long. Even then. I don't miss the

illusion

> > much

> > > > > > anymore

> > > > > > > either. I see how good my life is now and I wouldn't

> trade

> > it

> > > > for

> > > > > > ANY

> > > > > > > illussions- especially ones about having a real mom. I

> > prefer

> > > > > > instead

> > > > > > > to be a real mom now days and mother myself and my

kids

> > and

> > > > love

> > > > > > my

> > > > > > > dh and my friends. And MAN, how my friends have

rallied

> > > around

> > > > me

> > > > > > > this Christmas. They've all given me sooo much more

gifts

> > > than

> > > > in

> > > > > > > years pasts I'm just utterly amazed!!!! Not that I was

> > afraid

> > > > > > > w/having nada out of my life that I wouldn't get any

> > > Christmas

> > > > > > gifts-

> > > > > > > only that I figured this year would be a lot more slim

on

> > the

> > > > > > gifts

> > > > > > > w/o nada and grandfada and dead fiance and his whacko

> > mother

> > > > and

> > > > > > then

> > > > > > > auntie sending her gifts late. Instead my brother

> actually

> > > > sent

> > > > > > gifts

> > > > > > > this year to dh and I, which he doesn't usually do

since

> > > we've

> > > > > had

> > > > > > > kids and I told him not to worry about us anyway. But

> same

> > > > w/my

> > > > > > > friends. Its just kind of weird how like the universe

is

> > > > showing

> > > > > > all

> > > > > > > this other love, real love, for my family when I've

> > finally

> > > > made

> > > > > > the

> > > > > > > decision to let go of nada. Its so much easier to

receive

> > > > gifts

> > > > > > from

> > > > > > > these other people too since I know its given w/love

and

> > no

> > > > > > strings

> > > > > > > attached. What an awesome feeling.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Hope all other KOs out there who are also NC feel the

> > > universe

> > > > > > more

> > > > > > > than abundantly supplying them w/love as well. Its

hard

> at

> > > > first,

> > > > > > but

> > > > > > > sooo worth it!!!! Its scarey though. I pretend

sometimes

> > its

> > > > not,

> > > > > > but

> > > > > > > the holidays are very scarey being NC after sooo many

> nada

> > > > filled

> > > > > > > years. Looking forward to the holidays this year

w/much

> > > > > > anticipations.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Kerrie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>