New on here!

[Guest guest]

Hi

I'm a new member and I just wanted to post and introduce myself. I have

just come to the realization that my mother more than likely has BPD and

suddenly gives light to why I'm so messed up myself and why I tend to

sabotage my own relationships. I also believe that my brother also has

BPD and between the two of their influence I have pretty much

permanently parked myself in counseling.

A little background into my life, my childhood was filled with abuse,

not caring if I died, and neglect. I know this is a lot like where BPD

starts and why I question if I have it myself. But my BP mom and BP

brother seemed to bond together and torment me throughout my childhood.

And being the baby of the family didn't really help. Do BPs team up

together to tear down another person?

But now I know that I need to try and distinguish with the coping

mechanisms I have learned from my mom and the chance that I may have BPD

myself. It will be hard and I realize that my relationship with my

mother is very destructive to me and my progression in dealing with my

problems. I am sabotaging a relationship with a man I love more than

anybody I have ever met. I don't want to but the relationship would get

me disowned and my mom would flip out. I am realizing now that my fear

of disappointing my mom is ruining my life and I want to be happy. It

is hard though. Which is why I joined this group for help and support

and objective opinions. I tend to attack those in my life who try to

give me advice because I don't want people to control me (my BPD

tendencies).

Thanks for listening to me and there will be more venting later I'm

sure.