Re: After 3 years no contact

November 18, 2006

CONGRATULATIONS, SYLVIA!!! 3 Years of No Contact is a

HUGE accomplishment and a testament to your STRENGTH

And GROWTH!!

Here is a HUGE HUG and pat on the back!!

((((((((((((SYLVIA)))))))))))

Love,

Greg.

--- smhtrain2 wrote:

> Hi all KOs,

>

> I am celebrating my 3rd year of no contact! (Hmmmm,

> maybe Hallmark

> should start a new brand of anniversary card?) I

> believe I have

> something special to celebrate this year - although

> time will tell.

> It is already mid-November, and I have had no sign

> of the SAD

> (seasonal affective disorder) that I have suffered

> with for most of

> my adult life. Depending upon what was happening in

> the foo, this

> seasonal depression would start as early as late

> August, and by

> November/December I was pretty much a basket case,

> living in pajamas

> on the weekends, barely making it to work during the

> week, etc. I

> am prepared to deal with perhaps a mild case,

> depending upon how

> gloomy the days become in the northeast. It

> certainly seems that

> the external impact of the foo played a very big

> part in how

> severely I was affected.

>

> Another cause to celebrate is that I finally made a

> breakthrough in

> one of my PTSD issues. I had been dealing with my

> therapist on this

> issue for years. One of the reasons that I stopped

> therapy was that

> she was unable to help me with this issue, and I

> felt that I was

> just maintaining a status quo with her therapy,

> which as she finally

> described was more self analysis than therapy. The

> issue was that

> sometimes I would get this very strong feeling of

> fear, and the

> words that came into my mind were, " No, please

> don't, go away, leave

> me alone " . (I am now not sure of all the words,

> because once the

> connection was made, the words and the feelings have

> pretty much

> gone away.) The feelings were a combination of

> anger and fear.

> Through the use of a guided imagery CD, I was able

> to connect the

> words and the feelings to the beating my dad gave me

> when I was 16

> years old. I had been listening to this CD on an

> irregular basis

> for about 6 months in the evening before going to

> sleep. I just

> woke up one morning, and the first thought in my

> mind was the

> connection between the words, feelings and the

> event. And the

> strong emotions were gone. Yay! The CD I used was

> " A Guided

> Meditation for Healing Trauma (PTSD) " by Belleruth

> Naparstek. I

> bought it through Amazon.com, but she has a web site

> at

> healthjourneys.com. When I read the reviews on

> Amazon, this

> particular tape was better recommended than some of

> her other

> tapes. I have always had a good response to guided

> imagery, and I

> am very happy with this particular success.

>

> There have been some disappointments over the past

> years as well.

> Because of my own fleas, I had already placed myself

> in a position

> of very few friends. And now my relationship with

> my sister is

> almost non-existant, and a relationship with another

> friend has

> ended. I am accepting this as the fallout from my

> growth and

> recovery. It is always uncomfortable to have these

> voids, but I

> believe these friendships will be replaced in time.

> I have learned

> from the losses as well as the successes.

>

> Please join me in celebrating my 3 year NC

> anniversary!

>

> Sylvia

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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November 18, 2006

Sylvia,

Your story is inspiring to me. There certainly is hope for us KO's, as

evidenced by

everyone's stories on this board, and especiallly yours. Congratulations on all

your

progress and on your 3rd NC anniversary! And thanks for your advice for me on

my post,

too, I so appreciate your insight.

love

>

> Hi all KOs,

>

> I am celebrating my 3rd year of no contact! (Hmmmm, maybe Hallmark

> should start a new brand of anniversary card?) I believe I have

> something special to celebrate this year - although time will tell.

> It is already mid-November, and I have had no sign of the SAD

> (seasonal affective disorder) that I have suffered with for most of

> my adult life. Depending upon what was happening in the foo, this

> seasonal depression would start as early as late August, and by

> November/December I was pretty much a basket case, living in pajamas

> on the weekends, barely making it to work during the week, etc. I

> am prepared to deal with perhaps a mild case, depending upon how

> gloomy the days become in the northeast. It certainly seems that

> the external impact of the foo played a very big part in how

> severely I was affected.

>

> Another cause to celebrate is that I finally made a breakthrough in

> one of my PTSD issues. I had been dealing with my therapist on this

> issue for years. One of the reasons that I stopped therapy was that

> she was unable to help me with this issue, and I felt that I was

> just maintaining a status quo with her therapy, which as she finally

> described was more self analysis than therapy. The issue was that

> sometimes I would get this very strong feeling of fear, and the

> words that came into my mind were, " No, please don't, go away, leave

> me alone " . (I am now not sure of all the words, because once the

> connection was made, the words and the feelings have pretty much

> gone away.) The feelings were a combination of anger and fear.

> Through the use of a guided imagery CD, I was able to connect the

> words and the feelings to the beating my dad gave me when I was 16

> years old. I had been listening to this CD on an irregular basis

> for about 6 months in the evening before going to sleep. I just

> woke up one morning, and the first thought in my mind was the

> connection between the words, feelings and the event. And the

> strong emotions were gone. Yay! The CD I used was " A Guided

> Meditation for Healing Trauma (PTSD) " by Belleruth Naparstek. I

> bought it through Amazon.com, but she has a web site at

> healthjourneys.com. When I read the reviews on Amazon, this

> particular tape was better recommended than some of her other

> tapes. I have always had a good response to guided imagery, and I

> am very happy with this particular success.

>

> There have been some disappointments over the past years as well.

> Because of my own fleas, I had already placed myself in a position

> of very few friends. And now my relationship with my sister is

> almost non-existant, and a relationship with another friend has

> ended. I am accepting this as the fallout from my growth and

> recovery. It is always uncomfortable to have these voids, but I

> believe these friendships will be replaced in time. I have learned

> from the losses as well as the successes.

>

> Please join me in celebrating my 3 year NC anniversary!

>

> Sylvia

>

November 19, 2006

Dear Sylvia,

I wish you all the best! You've been an angel of support to so many people,

including me,

on the board. I didn't realize you had been feeling isolated lately. Remember

that

isolation is a nada tape--just because you didn't have a biological mother

doesn't mean

your connections to others (including your own children, and us on the board)

are any less

real or valid. Try to think of an orphan whose parents were passed away--their

connections to others are no less real, right? And friends--well, they tend to

come, go

and come back again. And trauma victims have trouble dealing with others in

times of

stress, but it will all come together again.

Take care

Charlie