Re: I need to vent

[Guest guest]

heard this from an old friend " when God closes a door he opens a

another door- but sometimes the hallway is hell "

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> Ron........I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sad for you. I just know

there is a reason for everything even when we don't believe it and

don't see what the reason is. Others will have to live with their

guilt. You won't.

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> http://knittingdoc.wordpress.com

> I need to vent

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> I try to be optimistic.I try my best to believe that something

good can happen, Ive prayed and Ive begged for some kind of easier

way without putting mom in a nursing home.Im not by nature a

depressed person.I dont even get any results from the anti

depressants Ive tried.Im so fed up with life right now it makes me

feel sick.

> My brother borrowed my car friday.I let him because he promised

to help me with gas and mom and I are barely making it right now.He

brought it back in the middle of the night.He had texted and said

that he went and got a dog, the dog had a bm in my car and it made

him throw up in it.He didnt even have the decency to tell me in

person, he promised to clean it the next morning, he even has the

keys to it still.Ive texted and my car still sets out there with bm

and vommit in it and I cant even get in.Im supposed to pay bills

tomorrow and moms car is broke down so her and I have no

transportation.I figured out the bills.After everything is payed we

have 40 to 60 dollars for groceries and gas and anything she may

need.Im losing this battle.My family dodge me like the plague.The

only real life friend I have in my life outside of people online

ignored me all day yesterday.Her and I text throughout the day, see

eachother when we can and call two or three times a

> day.Yesterday on her day off she ignored every call and text.Im

used to it from family thats the treatment I get because they dont

want to help but that hurt pretty bad.I asked my other brother to

tape the boxing that was on last night for me so I could watch it

sometime, he gave me the cold shoulder.

> ALL I EVER DID WAS CARE ABOUT MOM.IVE SPREAD MYSELF VERY THIN BUT

I DONT FEEL LIKE I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.I realize its

depressing to know me because I have a very deprtessing life, but I

dont deserve to be treated like dirt.I dont have much faith left for

the human race.I see people as a bunch of cold hearted animals and Im

sick of them.I will make it to the end of moms journey and I will

know in my heart I truly did all I could.But the people around me

could be on fire and as far as Im concerned I will walk around them

as to not get burnt.Im sorry if this changes peoples oppinion of me.

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