Death with dignity

[Guest guest]

Hi Joan:  Jackie here.  The thing that comes to memory from reading your post

is when my mother-in-law died.  She went to the hospital on her 87th birthday

having trouble breathing.  They discovered cancerous tumors in her chest and

thyroid, one wrapped around her windpipe.  There was nothing they could do. 

They couldn't even put a scope down her throat for fear of puncturing the one

that was on the windpipe, so she told them she wanted to go home to die.  We

called in hospice and set up a hospital bed for her.  The hospice volunteers

came and talked with her and us.  They gave us a booklet to read (it's about 35

pages) called " Crossing The Creek " which explains the physical, emotional,

spiritual aspects of the dying process.  I read thru the entire booklet as I

wanted to be familiar with what to expect.  I have to say, she was a textbook

case.  We stayed with her for 10 days during which time I would make her pureed

foods and keep her as

fresh and clean as we could.  We would let her sleep and talk with her when

she was awake.  The night before she died my husband and I had a nice

conversation with her about how our life here is like a grain of sand compared

to eternity with God.  She understood this well, as her house was two blocks

from the ocean.  Hospice had given us what they call a " comfort pack " . 

Liquid medicine that is dropped on the tongue and dizzolves.  It keeps the

dying person calm so they will not feel like they are struggling for breath. 

We worked in shifts administering the comfort medicine, giving her a few drops

every two hours.  When it was my turn at 6AM I filled the dropper and went in

to her.  She was very still.  I turned her head toward me.  No movement

whatsoever.  It was obvious she was gone.  I called my husband and his two

sisters to come and look at her.  We all agreed that she looked very

peaceful.  There was no evidence of any last gasp

for breath.  It was as if she sighed and went to sleep.  Very peaceful.  We

called hospice, who sent a nurse to examine and confirm that she was gone and

called the funeral home for us.  My husband and I were left with the task of

cleaning out and selling her house.  The first thing we did was take a balloon

that my sister-in-law had gotten for her when she came home from the hospital. 

I said a brief prayer and then let the balloon go.  It went up and up and up

until we could no longer see it.  It read " welcome home. "   My mother-in-law's

last words were spoken to me and .  She said, " It's easy when you have

faith. "   God bless you, my friend.  None of us knows when our time is up, only

God, but I pray when it's your time that it will be as easy for you as it was

for my dear mother-in-law.  Take care and stay in touch.  Love, Jackie

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:42 AM

Subject: Death with Dignity

 

Hi everyone:

I am really curious about how painful the end of this terrible disease might be,

I am not afraid of dying as I believe in God and that a better place is waiting

for us. What I am afraid of is dying with pain for a long period of time. I am

not giving up and will fight to the very end to see my Grandchildren grow as

much as possible. I do not even know if this is an appropriate question to ask

here, I know that a couple of States allow assisted suicide. Here in Canada it

is totally taboo and no one I have tried to talk to about it will even discuss

the matter with me.

So since all of us have technically been handed a death sentence, which in some

ways knowing that I have a shortened life span has made my life better if that

makes any sense. I know my time is limited so I try not to waste any of it. But

I am getting more of the complications that go with this disease, more of the

pain that comes with it and I do not want my sons or my Grandchildren to watch

me suffer. I have watched people suffer in horrible agonizing pain while dying

and I watched my Mother loose all to alzheimers. If she had the choice I do not

believe she would of wanted to spend the last few years of her so called life

the way she did because as most of us know alzheimers is no life at all.

Some people I know like my own father are so afraid of dying that any pain or

indignity was worth it to him to just stay alive. I guess I have been thinking

about this a lot for some reason, if anyone would like to share their thoughts

on this I would love to hear them. If not then I totally understand as it really

is a very personal choice.

Thanks Joan

[Guest guest]

It is very important that you have your wishes written down and inform your

familly and/or friends what you would like done when that time comes.   As a

nurse in an intensive care unit, again I cannot emphasize enough to plan for

this ahead of time.  Medcine is able to prolong the inevitable for days and

weeks as you well know.

While hospice is an option at the end of life, may I suggest in talking with a

palliative care physcian.  Palliative cares concern is with the management of

symptoms, pain and maintaining quality of life before hospice needs to be

utilized.  This does not mean that you need to give up your GI doctor or PCP. 

They can work together to give you the best quality  of life with the time that

you have.

My husband also has cirrhosis and knowing what I know, I do not and would not

want to see him suffer at the end with countleess blood transfusions, being

placed on dialysis and on a ventilator etc.  We have discussed this and I know

his wishes. 

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Love and Prayers,