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Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

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Posted
Posted

Hi.  I'm Jackie.  I can imagine what you are going thru right now.  My

husband, was experiencing the same thing last year at this time.  The only

practical suggestion I can give you is what the drs told me.  Try to supplement

his meals with ensure or boost drinks.  I tried soft foods like oatmeal,

applesauce, puddings -- you know, stuff that tastes good.  I even tried baby

food.  He was so very sick at the time.  He got his new liver on May 26,

2010.  Is your honey eligible for a transplant?  has he been seen by a

transplant center?  Keep us posted.  We are all eager to hear from you. 

Jackie

Subject: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 3:35 PM

 

I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

words of encouragement I find here.

My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

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Posted
Posted

I can say for sure that I have felt exactly what you are feeling. I was

especially upset by the 2000 mg salt restriction that my loved one had to adhere

to in the hospital. At one point I bought a hand held mixer for making

milkshakes, and bought some ben and jerry's ice cream. I then made milk shakes

with Ensure and ben and jerrys. My loved one Ardis was especially hard to care

for because she had Celiac disease and could not have any wheat, oats, barly or

rye. Even rice krispies had a small amount of barly malt for sweetening back

then. . In the hospice, I was instructed that presenting a large plate of food

often makes a sick person feel over whelmed, and further degrades the appetite.

Take a moment to make the plate full of choices, and colorful, but small

portions, no more than two ounces each. A good idea would be a menu like this:

Poached salmon, brown rice, with a slice of pineapple, broiled asparagus with

mrs dash, a small dinner roll. Buy little ice cream cups, and jellos and

puddings.

Good luck, love, Bobby

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Tue, March 8, 2011 1:35:17 PM

Subject: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

words of encouragement I find here.

My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

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Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry about your sense of well being here. It is so hard to get it

through som eone's head that in order to live they must eat and drink.

I am having the same talks with my honey. He just does not have an appetite . Do

you think he will drink protein drinks made into shakes? My honey has been

drinking ensure. I hope you find the solution.

Hugs,

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

words of encouragement I find here.

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

> I am so sorry about your sense of well being here. It is so hard to get it

through som eone's head that in order to live they must eat and drink.

> I am having the same talks with my honey. He just does not have an

appetite . Do you think he will drink protein drinks made into shakes? My

honey has been drinking ensure. I hope you find the solution.

> Hugs,

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend has cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting to live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live

without food and water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I

fluctuate between trying to keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling

absolutely helpless and hopeless. Does anyone have any suggestions for ways

I can get more food into my sweetie? At this point, I don't know any more

things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Group Email: livercirrhosissupport

> web address:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/livercirrhosissupport/

>

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Posted
Posted

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

words of encouragement I find here.

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend and

the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a typical

day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset me

so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having eaten

anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed and

sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door and

the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I thought

today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share before

I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I love

them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>words of encouragement I find here.

>

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

Oh Joan ,sweetie...I am so sorry. We love you here and we think you're just

awesome! I know he's your husband,but he's being a jerk! Just know that the rest

of us don't want you to die quicker....we'd love to keep you around!  I'm not

sure why God is asking so much of you,but whichever of us sees Him first...Let's

ask him!!! Get some rest and love yourself because you are well loved here!

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 8:24:54 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

 

I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend and

the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a typical

day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset me

so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having eaten

anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed and

sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door and

the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I thought

today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share before

I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I love

them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>words of encouragement I find here.

>

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

Joan - I first read your post about an hour ago, and was so moved that

I had to take some time to respond. It reminded me of the post I made

a couple of days ago about the time after I injured my back. One of

the things I didn't mention in that post was the day the social worker

came to my house to see what services they could provide for me since

I couldn't do a lot of things myself. I mentioned that my 5 year old

had been helping a lot, really doing things which weren't appropriate

for her age, but doing them pretty well. Right now, I can't remember

if she said that I should rely on her more, or bawled me out for

letting her do those things. I told her to get out of my house and

never come back. She didn't say a word, just picked up her stuff and

left. But she did arrange for a helper twice a week who was a

sweetheart, even volunteered to babysit when I had to go see my

husband in the hosptial when he had surgery. I don't know your

situation, if you have said, I don't remember, but if it were my

husband who said something like that to me, he would be out the door.

Or if that wasn't an option, I would find somewhere else to live. No

one deserves to be treated that way, and obviously this isn't an

isolated incident, You are too special to be treated this way. My

own living situation is far from good, but not near what you are

putting up with. I hope it improves somehow. Will be praying for

you, and for your husband that he can learn to act like a decent human

being. Jan

> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

and

> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

typical

> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

me

> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

eaten

> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

and

> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

and

> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

thought

> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

before

> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

love

> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

>

> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions.  Some

days

> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

concerned

> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

health,

> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can.  I fluctuate between trying

to

>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I owe every member of this group a gigantic apology for my email last night.

That is not what this group is for and I know that and I really am sorry and

really am okay. Jan thanks for your generous heart and I am trying to figure

something out about my living arrangements but as everything in life is it is

complicated. But I will try and never do anything like that again, sorry from

the bottom of my heart, I love you all and you have kept me strong and gotten me

through some tough days so I don't want to do anything to make anyone think less

of me. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 12:53:30 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Joan - I first read your post about an hour ago, and was so moved that

I had to take some time to respond. It reminded me of the post I made

a couple of days ago about the time after I injured my back. One of

the things I didn't mention in that post was the day the social worker

came to my house to see what services they could provide for me since

I couldn't do a lot of things myself. I mentioned that my 5 year old

had been helping a lot, really doing things which weren't appropriate

for her age, but doing them pretty well. Right now, I can't remember

if she said that I should rely on her more, or bawled me out for

letting her do those things. I told her to get out of my house and

never come back. She didn't say a word, just picked up her stuff and

left. But she did arrange for a helper twice a week who was a

sweetheart, even volunteered to babysit when I had to go see my

husband in the hosptial when he had surgery. I don't know your

situation, if you have said, I don't remember, but if it were my

husband who said something like that to me, he would be out the door.

Or if that wasn't an option, I would find somewhere else to live. No

one deserves to be treated that way, and obviously this isn't an

isolated incident, You are too special to be treated this way. My

own living situation is far from good, but not near what you are

putting up with. I hope it improves somehow. Will be praying for

you, and for your husband that he can learn to act like a decent human

being. Jan

> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

and

> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

>typical

> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

>me

> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

eaten

> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

and

> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

and

> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

thought

> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

before

> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

>love

> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

>

> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some

>days

> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

>concerned

> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

health,

> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying

to

>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Posted
Posted

OH Joan,honey...no need to apologize. Sometimes we just need to vent! Feel free

anytime! I don't and I'm sure no one else thinks any less of you than

before...You are loved here ..and if you can't vent here,then where can you?

 

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 10:00:39 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

 

I owe every member of this group a gigantic apology for my email last night.

That is not what this group is for and I know that and I really am sorry and

really am okay. Jan thanks for your generous heart and I am trying to figure

something out about my living arrangements but as everything in life is it is

complicated. But I will try and never do anything like that again, sorry from

the bottom of my heart, I love you all and you have kept me strong and gotten me

through some tough days so I don't want to do anything to make anyone think less

of me. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 12:53:30 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Joan - I first read your post about an hour ago, and was so moved that

I had to take some time to respond. It reminded me of the post I made

a couple of days ago about the time after I injured my back. One of

the things I didn't mention in that post was the day the social worker

came to my house to see what services they could provide for me since

I couldn't do a lot of things myself. I mentioned that my 5 year old

had been helping a lot, really doing things which weren't appropriate

for her age, but doing them pretty well. Right now, I can't remember

if she said that I should rely on her more, or bawled me out for

letting her do those things. I told her to get out of my house and

never come back. She didn't say a word, just picked up her stuff and

left. But she did arrange for a helper twice a week who was a

sweetheart, even volunteered to babysit when I had to go see my

husband in the hosptial when he had surgery. I don't know your

situation, if you have said, I don't remember, but if it were my

husband who said something like that to me, he would be out the door.

Or if that wasn't an option, I would find somewhere else to live. No

one deserves to be treated that way, and obviously this isn't an

isolated incident, You are too special to be treated this way. My

own living situation is far from good, but not near what you are

putting up with. I hope it improves somehow. Will be praying for

you, and for your husband that he can learn to act like a decent human

being. Jan

> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

and

> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

>typical

> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

>me

> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

eaten

> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

and

> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

and

> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

thought

> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

before

> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

>love

> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

>

> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some

>days

> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

>concerned

> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

health,

> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying

to

>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Joan:  I'm crying as I read this.  Know that your friends here love you so and

consider you a valuable part of our family.  Hugs from me.  Jackie

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Wednesday, March 9, 2011, 8:24 PM

 

I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend and

the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a typical

day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset me

so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having eaten

anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed and

sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door and

the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I thought

today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share before

I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I love

them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>words of encouragement I find here.

>

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

Joan:  No apology needed.  Love, Jackie

> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

and

> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

>typical

> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

>me

> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

eaten

> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

and

> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

and

> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

thought

> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

before

> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

>love

> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

>

> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some

>days

> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

>concerned

> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

health,

> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying

to

>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Geeze , I thought I had heard it all. I cannot believe your husband. I am really

really sorry. That just plain sucks. A big hug from me and Sharon in Denver. I

frustrate her at times, but she dare not ever say something like that to me,

because she knows she is the ONLY logical reason for me to stay sober. There

just isnt one other. Sharon says that this incident makes her just sick. I

agree. Love, and hugs, Bobby

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 6:24:54 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend and

the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a typical

day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset me

so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having eaten

anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed and

sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door and

the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I thought

today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share before

I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I love

them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>words of encouragement I find here.

>

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

Venting is exactly what this group is for. The fact that you are still with us

is witness. I still feel bad about what was said. Back in 2007 spring, when I

first joined I had quite a rant about nurses making patients sit on a potty

chair and wait until they were good and ready to show up to help... and how

everybody gets to sit on a potty chair some day, even the mean nurse. Love,

Bobby

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 8:00:39 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

I owe every member of this group a gigantic apology for my email last night.

That is not what this group is for and I know that and I really am sorry and

really am okay. Jan thanks for your generous heart and I am trying to figure

something out about my living arrangements but as everything in life is it is

complicated. But I will try and never do anything like that again, sorry from

the bottom of my heart, I love you all and you have kept me strong and gotten me

through some tough days so I don't want to do anything to make anyone think less

of me. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 12:53:30 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Joan - I first read your post about an hour ago, and was so moved that

I had to take some time to respond. It reminded me of the post I made

a couple of days ago about the time after I injured my back. One of

the things I didn't mention in that post was the day the social worker

came to my house to see what services they could provide for me since

I couldn't do a lot of things myself. I mentioned that my 5 year old

had been helping a lot, really doing things which weren't appropriate

for her age, but doing them pretty well. Right now, I can't remember

if she said that I should rely on her more, or bawled me out for

letting her do those things. I told her to get out of my house and

never come back. She didn't say a word, just picked up her stuff and

left. But she did arrange for a helper twice a week who was a

sweetheart, even volunteered to babysit when I had to go see my

husband in the hosptial when he had surgery. I don't know your

situation, if you have said, I don't remember, but if it were my

husband who said something like that to me, he would be out the door.

Or if that wasn't an option, I would find somewhere else to live. No

one deserves to be treated that way, and obviously this isn't an

isolated incident, You are too special to be treated this way. My

own living situation is far from good, but not near what you are

putting up with. I hope it improves somehow. Will be praying for

you, and for your husband that he can learn to act like a decent human

being. Jan

> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

and

> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

>typical

> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

>me

> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

eaten

> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

and

> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

and

> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

thought

> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

before

> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

>love

> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

>

> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some

>days

> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

>concerned

> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

health,

> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

>

>

>>

>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>

>>

>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying

to

>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

We are here for you.  You are a very strong lady and I am so happy to know you.

I am a 61 year old woman with ESLD and Kidney disease and have been on the

transplant list nearly three years.  I live alone.  I have three children that

have been so kind.  I was really sick and now I am better.  Better because

this

group has shown me that I am never alone.

Lyncia

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 3:58:14 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

 

Geeze , I thought I had heard it all. I cannot believe your husband. I am really

really sorry. That just plain sucks. A big hug from me and Sharon in Denver. I

frustrate her at times, but she dare not ever say something like that to me,

because she knows she is the ONLY logical reason for me to stay sober. There

just isnt one other. Sharon says that this incident makes her just sick. I

agree. Love, and hugs, Bobby

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 6:24:54 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend and

the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a typical

day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset me

so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having eaten

anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed and

sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old grandsons,

we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I have

mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door and

the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I thought

today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share before

I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I love

them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions. Some days

I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always concerned

about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general health,

he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>

> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend has

>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>words of encouragement I find here.

>

>

> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting to

>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying to

>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless.

>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my sweetie?

>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>

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Posted
Posted

No need to apologize! When I read it I got very upset, and my husband wanted to

take your husband outside and beat some sense into him. We feel so bad for you.

Vent anytime you need to.

Penny

> >

> > I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

has

>

> >cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

> >will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

> >words of encouragement I find here.

> >

> >

> > My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

to

>

> >live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

> >water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between trying

to

>

> >keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my

sweetie?

> >At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

> >

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Joan, there is certainly no need to apologize. I was very touched by

your post would have cried myself if I could. I think the major

reaction to it has been outrage that any husband would treat his wife

that way. I hope you can change your living conditions soon. I would

move out of mine and it isn't nearly as bad as yours, but I don't have

enough income to even offer to share with someone else. I am sorry

you think you did something wrong, probably because of your living

situation, you probably figure most things you do are wrong. I have

seen guys like him, and their wives, and the wives end up so worn down

they can't get out of the situation. Is there a domestic abuse hot

line or shelter where you could talk to a counselor who could help you

find a place to live if you would have to move? I think anyone who is

on this roller coaster and manages to find the strength to participate

in a group like this is pretty special, so glad you are here. If you

feel like venting again, go for it. I am sure it made you feel better

just to say it all. Love You, God bless you. Jan

> I owe every member of this group a gigantic apology for my email last night.

> That is not what this group is for and I know that and I really am sorry and

> really am okay. Jan thanks for your generous heart and I am trying to figure

> something out about my living arrangements but as everything in life is it is

> complicated. But I will try and never do anything like that again, sorry from

> the bottom of my heart, I love you all and you have kept me strong and gotten

me

> through some tough days so I don't want to do anything to make anyone think

less

> of me. Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 12:53:30 AM

> Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

> Joan - I first read your post about an hour ago, and was so moved that

> I had to take some time to respond.  It reminded me of the post I made

> a couple of days ago about the time after I injured my back.  One of

> the things I didn't mention in that post was the day the social worker

> came to my house to see what services they could provide for me since

> I couldn't do a lot of things myself.  I mentioned that my 5 year old

> had been helping a lot, really doing things which weren't appropriate

> for her age, but doing them pretty well.  Right now, I can't remember

> if she said that I should rely on her more, or bawled me out for

> letting her do those things.  I told her to get out of my house and

> never come back.  She didn't say a word, just picked up her stuff and

> left.  But she did arrange for a helper twice a week who was a

> sweetheart, even volunteered to babysit when I had to go see my

> husband in the hosptial when he had surgery.  I don't know your

> situation, if you have said, I don't remember, but if it were my

> husband who said something like that to me, he would be out the door.

> Or if that wasn't an option, I would find somewhere else to live.  No

> one deserves to be treated that way, and obviously this isn't an

> isolated incident,  You are too special to be treated this way.  My

> own living situation is far from good, but not near what you are

> putting up with.  I hope it improves somehow.  Will be praying for

> you, and for your husband that he can learn to act like a decent human

> being.  Jan

>

>

>> I just came home in tears from working an 11 hour day to cover for a friend

> and

>> the drive home was long and stressful. Snow, rain, freezing rain, just a

>>typical

>> day here in the north country. Usually driving in this weather does not upset

>>me

>> so much I guess it is from the long day and being so tired and not having

> eaten

>> anything since a bagel at 8 this morning. All I want to do is fall into bed

> and

>> sleep because Thursdays I have gymnastics with one of my 4 year old

grandsons,

>> we have been doing this together for 3 years now and we love it. I know I

have

>> mentioned the lack of support here a few times, but when I came in the door

> and

>> the dogs had not been walked or fed which is normal. I don't know why I

> thought

>> today would be different. And when my husband saw the tears he asked me if I

>> could die faster as he was sick of this shit. Sorry just needed to share

> before

>> I went up and slit my wrists, which I won't. I will walk the dogs because I

>>love

>> them and feed them and I will then go to bed to go to gymnastics tomorrow. I

>> just keep asking god how much more am I expected to take. Joan

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> ________________________________

>>

>> To: livercirrhosissupport

>> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 3:20:36 PM

>> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the suggestions.  Some

>>days

>> I can get him to drink 3 to 4 nutrition drinks and eat a little applesauce.

>> Other days it is a struggle to get anything into him. I am also always

>>concerned

>> about low sodium and dehydration issues because he was hospitialized for two

>> days several months ago because of this. Because of his age and general

> health,

>> he is not a candidate for a transplant.

>>

>>

>>

>>>

>>> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best friend

> has

>>>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally dismantled. I

>>>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the information and

>>>words of encouragement I find here.

>>>

>>>

>>> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about wanting

> to

>>>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without food and

>>>water. I feel like I have done everything I can.  I fluctuate between trying

> to

>>>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

>>>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into my

sweetie?

>>>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can say.

>>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

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Posted
Posted

Joan,

Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

Bill (in middle GA)

> >>

> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend

> has

> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I

> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and

> >>words of encouragement I find here.

> >>

> >>

> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting

> to

> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

food and

> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

trying

> to

> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

my sweetie?

> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

say.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

I do agree with you,Bill. I think that sometimes the stress of this

disease takes a toll on all of us...caregivers included...and we say things

without thinking. Ed and I have snapped at each other on occasion.Not very often

and we do apologize,but it's hard to always be upbeat! Hopefully Joan's hubby

wasn't thinking.

 

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

 

Joan,

Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

Bill (in middle GA)

> >>

> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend

> has

> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I

> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and

> >>words of encouragement I find here.

> >>

> >>

> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting

> to

> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

food and

> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

trying

> to

> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

my sweetie?

> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

say.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

 

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Saturday, March 12, 2011, 7:27 PM

 

I do agree with you,Bill. I think that sometimes the stress of this

disease takes a toll on all of us...caregivers included...and we say things

without thinking. Ed and I have snapped at each other on occasion.Not very often

and we do apologize,but it's hard to always be upbeat! Hopefully Joan's hubby

wasn't thinking.

 

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

 

Joan,

Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

Bill (in middle GA)

> >>

> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend

> has

> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I

> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and

> >>words of encouragement I find here.

> >>

> >>

> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting

> to

> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

food and

> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

trying

> to

> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

my sweetie?

> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

say.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

I know the stress of being a caretaker, I took care of both of my parents when

they where ill before they passed away. And unfortunately that is not what this

is, because he is not a caretaker in anyway shape or form. We have been married

almost 35 years and the first 10 were horrible, the next 20 so so. But the last

couple have been two people living together leading very different lives.

It was not the best but tolerable, then in June 2010 when I ended up in the

hospital and found out I was sick everything went straight to H***. He never

came and saw me in the hospital though I was there for 5 days and getting some

of the most horrible, confusing, mind boggling information I have ever heard. No

idea I was even sick till I ended up in the hospital, and then to be told after

a battery of tests that you have what we call advanced liver disease, and what

you call end stage liver disease.

When I came home and told him he asked me what I wanted him to do about it, and

it has just gone down hill from there. All of my doctors want me to quit

working, I have 2 jobs and I babysit my grandkids 2 days a week. But I don't

want to be in the house with him because he is retired. I have had 2 wonderful

offers of places to live with people I love but unfortunately one of them would

put me 8 hours away from my sons and grandkids, the other 1.5 hours away. so I

would no longer be the involved grandmother that I am and want to be. So if the

choice is to put up with him or move away from my grandkids then he wins. When I

was told to get my affairs in order he would not even discuss burial sites with

me so I bought my own, with my parents and no room for him and I feel bad but

the boys will have to figure out what to do with him when the time comes.

And just a quick update no there has been no apology of any kind and I do not

expect one. But you do have to laugh at the irony of life, he is an alcoholic,

drug user most of is life and I am the one dying from cirrosis!

He is out today, I don't know or care were so I am going to curl up with my dogs

and finish a book I am reading and rest up because I am working the next 8 days

straight. Hope you all have a good day and thanks for everything, Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Joan,

Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

Bill (in middle GA)

> >>

> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend

> has

> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I

> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and

> >>words of encouragement I find here.

> >>

> >>

> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting

> to

> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

food and

> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

trying

> to

> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

my sweetie?

> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

say.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

JOAN what you describe below is about what I figured it was. I don't

have it neat that bad, but it is bad enough that I want to get out.

But there isn't anyplace I can live by myself on 301 per month. I

need to get the energy to apply for disability, but that would be less

than 700 and they won't take me in low income housing that way either.

He has promised to sign papers to give me a life interest in the

house and the car, but as far as I know he hasn't done so. He has an

eFR of 20, so not well himself, but able to do more than I do. he is

also retired, and sits in the living room watching tv most of the

time, deaf, so I finally gave up and bought him a wireless headphone

set. Luckily he loves it So it is at least quiet here now. I know

what you mean about grandchildren and family, I am 190 miles away from

the closest of both. My daughter just had a preemie and she is 3 days

away. Living with any of them is not possible. And, I wouldn't want

to because I have some wonderful friends here. It is a choice we are

forced to make. For me it wasn't easy to stay here because most

people think we are living together and that bothers me as it is

against my beliefs. Used to but couldn't take some of his values. So,

you do what you have to do, and vent when you need to. Jan

> I know the stress of being a caretaker, I took care of both of my parents when

> they where ill before they passed away. And unfortunately that is not what

this

> is, because he is not a caretaker in anyway shape or form. We have been

married

> almost 35 years and the first 10 were horrible, the next 20 so so. But the

last

> couple have been two people living together leading very different lives.

> It was not the best but tolerable, then in June 2010 when I ended up in the

> hospital and found out I was sick everything went straight to H***. He never

> came and saw me in the hospital though I was there for 5 days and getting some

> of the most horrible, confusing, mind boggling information I have ever heard.

No

> idea I was even sick till I ended up in the hospital, and then to be told

after

> a battery of tests that you have what we  call advanced liver disease, and

what

> you call end stage liver disease.

>

>

> When I came home and told him he asked me what I wanted him to do about it,

and

> it has just gone down hill from there. All of my doctors want me to quit

> working, I have 2 jobs and I babysit my grandkids 2 days a week. But I don't

> want to be in the house with him because he is retired. I have had 2 wonderful

> offers of places to live with people I love but unfortunately one of them

would

> put me 8 hours away from my sons and grandkids, the other 1.5 hours away. so I

> would no longer be the involved grandmother that I am and want to be. So if

the

> choice is to put up with him or move away from my grandkids then he wins. When

I

> was told to get my affairs in order he would not even discuss burial sites

with

> me so I bought my own, with my parents and no room for him and I feel bad but

> the boys will have to figure out what to do with him when the time comes.

>

>

> And just a quick update no there has been no apology of any kind and I do not

> expect one. But you do have to laugh at the irony of life, he is an alcoholic,

> drug user most of is life and I am the one dying from cirrosis!

>

>

> He is out today, I don't know or care were so I am going to curl up with my

dogs

> and finish a book I am reading and rest up because I am working the next 8

days

> straight. Hope you all have a good day and thanks for everything, Joan

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

>

>

> Joan,

>

> Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it.  Everyone needs an

> opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

> and even love from group members who have responded.  I hope that your

> husband has apologized for his outrageous statement.  Perhaps he, too,

> was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

> gear.  If so, he surely should apologize.  If those are his true

> feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

> yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

>

> Bill (in middle GA)

>

>

>> >>

>> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

> friend

>> has

>> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

> dismantled. I

>> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

> information and

>> >>words of encouragement I find here.

>> >>

>> >>

>> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

> wanting

>> to

>> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

> food and

>> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

> trying

>> to

>> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

> hopeless.

>> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

> my sweetie?

>> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

> say.

>> >>

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

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Posted
Posted

joan

 

i know exactly what you are saying, i have been married for 33 yrs my husband is

15 yrs older and we have really n ot had a real marriage for the last 15yrs.i

have cirrhosis due to alcohol addiction i have been sober for over 2 yrs now and

on tp list since dec 2009.i did lots of of horrible things in my addiction which

i have madre all my amense to they people i hurt but my husband just won't let

go.i have wanted to leave so many times but i always stuck it out because of my

boys.but know that i am sick i need his medical insurance it would put me away

from my boys and 2 grandsons so here i am again unhappy stuck where i am.since i

have been sick he refuses to talk to my drs or get involved with my disease.he

recently told me he does not love me and wish i would just go ahead and die.

he  is such a jerk and enjoys hurting me .so i just have to suck it up and pray

for him.so i guess our love for our kids and grandkids takes over and we just

have to deal

with it once again.good luck to you.

 

bev,tx

Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Sunday, March 13, 2011, 2:38 PM

 

I know the stress of being a caretaker, I took care of both of my parents when

they where ill before they passed away. And unfortunately that is not what this

is, because he is not a caretaker in anyway shape or form. We have been married

almost 35 years and the first 10 were horrible, the next 20 so so. But the last

couple have been two people living together leading very different lives.

It was not the best but tolerable, then in June 2010 when I ended up in the

hospital and found out I was sick everything went straight to H***. He never

came and saw me in the hospital though I was there for 5 days and getting some

of the most horrible, confusing, mind boggling information I have ever heard. No

idea I was even sick till I ended up in the hospital, and then to be told after

a battery of tests that you have what we call advanced liver disease, and what

you call end stage liver disease.

When I came home and told him he asked me what I wanted him to do about it, and

it has just gone down hill from there. All of my doctors want me to quit

working, I have 2 jobs and I babysit my grandkids 2 days a week. But I don't

want to be in the house with him because he is retired. I have had 2 wonderful

offers of places to live with people I love but unfortunately one of them would

put me 8 hours away from my sons and grandkids, the other 1.5 hours away. so I

would no longer be the involved grandmother that I am and want to be. So if the

choice is to put up with him or move away from my grandkids then he wins. When I

was told to get my affairs in order he would not even discuss burial sites with

me so I bought my own, with my parents and no room for him and I feel bad but

the boys will have to figure out what to do with him when the time comes.

And just a quick update no there has been no apology of any kind and I do not

expect one. But you do have to laugh at the irony of life, he is an alcoholic,

drug user most of is life and I am the one dying from cirrosis!

He is out today, I don't know or care were so I am going to curl up with my dogs

and finish a book I am reading and rest up because I am working the next 8 days

straight. Hope you all have a good day and thanks for everything, Joan

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

Joan,

Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

Bill (in middle GA)

> >>

> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

friend

> has

> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

dismantled. I

> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

information and

> >>words of encouragement I find here.

> >>

> >>

> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

wanting

> to

> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

food and

> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

trying

> to

> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

hopeless.

> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

my sweetie?

> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

say.

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

Joan and Bev , I don't mean to proselytize, but without my faith and

God's help there is no way I could have managed the last 12 years. 12

years ago I was diagnosed with cirrhosis told I had 2 to 3 years to

live, that doctor didn't know what he was talking about. Then it was

my heart, 17 or 19 angiograms/angioplasties with 9 stents implanted,

carotid artery surgery, a triple bypass, then my kidneys started

decreasing function, expected to be on dialysis a couple of times, but

then it improves. Now it is anemia, have been fighting it for 2

years, don't know what is causing it. Seeing a hematologist on

Thursday after being referred by my kidney dr. He expects they will

do a bone marrow test. And what really bothers me the most is that I

had a severe cut on my right eye which has healed, but the doctor said

it will return because I have no tears in my eyes to clean out

particles which blow in there like at the picnic for church yesterday.

And I didn't have my lubricant drops with me. I haven't felt I

needed to be so careful about the other more life threatening

conditions. Anf there was also the pancreatitis attack when resulted

in having my gall bladder removed, breaking my wrist this summer,

thankfully on the left hand so I at least didn't have trouble playing

the melody for church. Thyroid under control with medication, and all

the other things which seem small in comparison to what I have

mentioned. My heart showed up good on the last test they did, my

kidneys improved, and now my feet are swelling up so I can't get them

into most of my shoes. What do I do? I go to church, bible study

twice a week, dr. appts. wash clothes, and play on my computers and

read books and get as much practice for sundays in as possible. Last

week all of a sudden I was just giddy, lasted for a couple of days,

everything was so funny. Sleep about 12 hours a day if i don't have

to get up for something timed out of my control.

I thought I had a really good relationship/life with a guy as of 12

years ago, lasted until I found out he was addicted to hard core porn.

Refused to give it up, so now we live as brother and sister, he

doesn't respect my restrictions for allergies and asthma,doesn't

believe me when I tell him how it affects me when he does a lot of

things, tells me to get off all the medicine I am on and I will feel

better, When it comes to medical conditions, he knows it all but he

has had two heart attacks in the last 3 years. Still doesn't take

care of himself, usually has bacon and eggs and hashbrowns for

breakfast. He isn't an alcoholic or drug user, just a know it all.

Mutters when he thinks I should listen to him. The doctor prescribed

xanax to reduce the stress on my heart, working good so far. The best

part is that I am not afraid of dying, but thinking of it makes me

want to get to know my children and grandchildren better, have them

feel they can rely on me when they need to. I have 4 chldren 14

grands and 1 great grand. I dream of seeing them all together as they

live scattered from Michigan to California. One child I didn't raise

so have seen him with one daughter, but would love to have all 4 of

them together, hoping to do that in September. Wow, I have written

another chapter. But there is no way I could handle all this by

myself. Even my mother was not a big support to start with. So, when

us stubborn humans have tried all our ways, it is time to start

building a new relationship to God and that is what I did one day on

the way to Phoenix for another angioplasty. Started wondering, now

there is a certain risk with each of these procedures, I have had

quite a few already, Does that mean I an not as much at risk as some

people, or does the risk increase with each one. My love of math and

statistics checking in here. So, I started to pray, not in

desperation, just needed not to be so alone. Jan

On Sun, Mar 13, 2011 at 10:38 PM, Beverly Hurlock

wrote:

> joan

>

> i know exactly what you are saying, i have been married for 33 yrs my husband

is 15 yrs older and we have really n ot had a real marriage for the last 15yrs.i

have cirrhosis due to alcohol addiction i have been sober for over 2 yrs now and

on tp list since dec 2009.i did lots of of horrible things in my addiction which

i have madre all my amense to they people i hurt but my husband just won't let

go.i have wanted to leave so many times but i always stuck it out because of my

boys.but know that i am sick i need his medical insurance it would put me away

from my boys and 2 grandsons so here i am again unhappy stuck where i am.since i

have been sick he refuses to talk to my drs or get involved with my disease.he

recently told me he does not love me and wish i would just go ahead and die. he 

is such a jerk and enjoys hurting me .so i just have to suck it up and pray for

him.so i guess our love for our kids and grandkids takes over and we just have

to deal

>  with it once again.good luck to you.

>

> bev,tx

>

>

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Date: Sunday, March 13, 2011, 2:38 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I know the stress of being a caretaker, I took care of both of my parents when

> they where ill before they passed away. And unfortunately that is not what

this

> is, because he is not a caretaker in anyway shape or form. We have been

married

> almost 35 years and the first 10 were horrible, the next 20 so so. But the

last

> couple have been two people living together leading very different lives.

> It was not the best but tolerable, then in June 2010 when I ended up in the

> hospital and found out I was sick everything went straight to H***. He never

> came and saw me in the hospital though I was there for 5 days and getting some

> of the most horrible, confusing, mind boggling information I have ever heard.

No

> idea I was even sick till I ended up in the hospital, and then to be told

after

> a battery of tests that you have what we call advanced liver disease, and what

> you call end stage liver disease.

>

> When I came home and told him he asked me what I wanted him to do about it,

and

> it has just gone down hill from there. All of my doctors want me to quit

> working, I have 2 jobs and I babysit my grandkids 2 days a week. But I don't

> want to be in the house with him because he is retired. I have had 2 wonderful

> offers of places to live with people I love but unfortunately one of them

would

> put me 8 hours away from my sons and grandkids, the other 1.5 hours away. so I

> would no longer be the involved grandmother that I am and want to be. So if

the

> choice is to put up with him or move away from my grandkids then he wins. When

I

> was told to get my affairs in order he would not even discuss burial sites

with

> me so I bought my own, with my parents and no room for him and I feel bad but

> the boys will have to figure out what to do with him when the time comes.

>

> And just a quick update no there has been no apology of any kind and I do not

> expect one. But you do have to laugh at the irony of life, he is an alcoholic,

> drug user most of is life and I am the one dying from cirrosis!

>

> He is out today, I don't know or care were so I am going to curl up with my

dogs

> and finish a book I am reading and rest up because I am working the next 8

days

> straight. Hope you all have a good day and thanks for everything, Joan

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

> Joan,

>

> Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

> opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

> and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

> husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

> was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

> gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

> feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

> yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

>

> Bill (in middle GA)

>

>

>> >>

>> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

> friend

>> has

>> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

> dismantled. I

>> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

> information and

>> >>words of encouragement I find here.

>> >>

>> >>

>> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

> wanting

>> to

>> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

> food and

>> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

> trying

>> to

>> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

> hopeless.

>> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

> my sweetie?

>> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

> say.

>> >>

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

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Posted
Posted

Jan:  You are a real inspiration to everyone who reads this.  I am blessed to

know you.  Jackie

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Date: Sunday, March 13, 2011, 2:38 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I know the stress of being a caretaker, I took care of both of my parents when

> they where ill before they passed away. And unfortunately that is not what

this

> is, because he is not a caretaker in anyway shape or form. We have been

married

> almost 35 years and the first 10 were horrible, the next 20 so so. But the

last

> couple have been two people living together leading very different lives.

> It was not the best but tolerable, then in June 2010 when I ended up in the

> hospital and found out I was sick everything went straight to H***. He never

> came and saw me in the hospital though I was there for 5 days and getting some

> of the most horrible, confusing, mind boggling information I have ever heard.

No

> idea I was even sick till I ended up in the hospital, and then to be told

after

> a battery of tests that you have what we call advanced liver disease, and what

> you call end stage liver disease.

>

> When I came home and told him he asked me what I wanted him to do about it,

and

> it has just gone down hill from there. All of my doctors want me to quit

> working, I have 2 jobs and I babysit my grandkids 2 days a week. But I don't

> want to be in the house with him because he is retired. I have had 2 wonderful

> offers of places to live with people I love but unfortunately one of them

would

> put me 8 hours away from my sons and grandkids, the other 1.5 hours away. so I

> would no longer be the involved grandmother that I am and want to be. So if

the

> choice is to put up with him or move away from my grandkids then he wins. When

I

> was told to get my affairs in order he would not even discuss burial sites

with

> me so I bought my own, with my parents and no room for him and I feel bad but

> the boys will have to figure out what to do with him when the time comes.

>

> And just a quick update no there has been no apology of any kind and I do not

> expect one. But you do have to laugh at the irony of life, he is an alcoholic,

> drug user most of is life and I am the one dying from cirrosis!

>

> He is out today, I don't know or care were so I am going to curl up with my

dogs

> and finish a book I am reading and rest up because I am working the next 8

days

> straight. Hope you all have a good day and thanks for everything, Joan

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sat, March 12, 2011 4:45:22 PM

> Subject: Re: Suggestions re Loss of Appetite

>

> Joan,

>

> Everyone else has said it; I needn't repeat it. Everyone needs an

> opportunity to vent from time to time, and I know you feel the empathy

> and even love from group members who have responded. I hope that your

> husband has apologized for his outrageous statement. Perhaps he, too,

> was overwhelmed and put his mouth in action before putting his brain in

> gear. If so, he surely should apologize. If those are his true

> feelings, I pray that God will show you a way to " die to him, " to get

> yourself away from this calously selfish a*s!

>

> Bill (in middle GA)

>

>

>> >>

>> >> I am grateful to be a part of this group. My significant other/best

> friend

>> has

>> >>cirrhosis, and I feel like both of our lives have been totally

> dismantled. I

>> >>will be forever indebted to the members of this group for the

> information and

>> >>words of encouragement I find here.

>> >>

>> >>

>> >> My biggest concern now is his lack of appetite. He is adamant about

> wanting

>> to

>> >>live, but he seems unable to understand that he can't live without

> food and

>> >>water. I feel like I have done everything I can. I fluctuate between

> trying

>> to

>> >>keep a strong, positive attitude and feeling absolutely helpless and

> hopeless.

>> >>Does anyone have any suggestions for ways I can get more food into

> my sweetie?

>> >>At this point, I don't know any more things I can do or words I can

> say.

>> >>

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

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