Adult Children

[Guest guest]

Jan

I just have to ask - I've been through the wringer this year with the horrible

behaviour from my adult step-children. As you can see from an earlier post, I

actually blame my husband for not standing up for his wife. Instead, he just

shrugs his shoulders and says there is nothing he can do about their behaviour

or would just tell me that I brought it on myself. Hell, I was too sick to pay

a whole lot of attention to anything and yet they actually have been venomous

toward me.

I know that if my own son were to be guilty of just a little bit of what they

have done, I'd personally chase him down in the city where he lives. As far as

I'm concerned, I brought him up to have a whole lot more respect for people,

than what these two steps have shown. In fact, as I told the husband, my son's

attitude and behaviour is also due to the husband's influence on him.

Therefore, where was he when his kids developed such an evil attitude?

Even now, I have not and will never expect my son to break his relationship with

his step-dad. Actually, I pointed out to the husband, that if he didn't call

Shon soon, their relationship would die and it would definitely be his fault.

So, he used the excuse of needing a new computer; but, did call him. It was

funny!! Shon was talking to me on MSN which is normal many nights when he is at

work. Suddenly he says, who would be calling me from the house?? I told him

that it was probably Dave and that he should listen to the message.

So my question is - wouldn't it be normal to call even our adult children on

their behaviour, when they are disrespecting especially a family member? If my

own son even came close to meddling in my marriage as my step-son did, he would

be told the same thing as he was, when he was about 10. Even now, I expect him

to show respect for his step-dad and actually he does that easily.

Hope my question is understandable.

Gloria

________________________________

bobby - I used to be a big worrier. When my oldest daughter started

kindergarten, I was asked if she could go 1/2 mile from home and find her

way back. My answer was : she probably could if I ever let her out of my

sight When she got older, had two boys of her own and was coming back to MN

where I still lived, she was late getting there, I envisioned them off the

road where nobody could see them alive but unable to get out to get help.

They showed up just fine, had a late start. My mother used to see things my

kids were doing as adults and would tell me to

" straighten " them out. Finally, I realized that doing that was an exercise

in futility. And it just made them upset with me, so I guit. Told myself

there was nothing I could do about it. And it is amazing that they are

actually turning into responsible people. The most helpful thing I can do

for them is to pray for them. As for me, I feel so much that it is a

miracle that I am alive that there can only be one reason, God isn't through

with me yet. And, so far I am still able to honor him by playing for

church. The next three weeks I have told them they will have to find

someone else as I start treatment for h pylari tomorrow and have been told

it is nasty. A little difficult to play if you are having extreme stomach

cramps, vomiting and have diarrhea, You can't just stop in the middle of a

song and run to the bathroom. And I have been told that my anemia will get

worse before the treatment is over. hemoglobin was 8.6 last lab, at 8 they

do transfusioins. So, energy will be less than it is now which is about

dragging on the floor. But, I don't have to do dishes or cook right now.

Ed is learning to cook at age 77. Before, he " boiled " steak. He loves my

New Forman grill with the temperature control. Well,I did it again, wrote a

book when I intended to make a short response. Jan

On Fri, Sep 17, 2010 at 10:22 PM, Bob Aragon wrote:

> Thanks, Jan. As I told my brother tonight, you are a big inspiration to me

> to

> just have faith. I am trying not to jump to conclusions. I used to tell

> Ardis

> all the time... " why invent a bad ending, why not wait and see what time

> tells

> us? Besides, you could just as easy dream up a good outcome as you can

> dream up

> a bad one, in other words, worrying is a waste of imagination. I guess it's

> time

> to practice what I preached. Love, Bobby

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Fri, September 17, 2010 11:08:08 PM

> Subject: Re: I got some scary news on my CT scan

>

>

> Bobby, hope it turns out not as bad as it could be.

> I pray the pain will eventually go away and you can live your life for as

> long as possible feeling up to participating in life. I have a lot going

> on

> too right now, but no constant pain after my cast was taken off. I am so

> grateful that I don't have constant pain. aches, yes, pain intermittent.

> Therapy did a lot of good, but will have to continue at home on my own as I

> cannot yet make a fist. I bought some weights to use to get more flex in

> my

> wrist. Have trouble beliviing I actually did that. I used to say that

> anybody who moved when they didn't have to were out of their mind.

>

> I sure hope the ultra sound shows a different picture than the ct scan. I

> don't know why they can't just go to the ultimate test for these things

> instead of having to have so many different ones. From the description

> below, you had a rather extensive ct scan. Not to downplay the seriousness

> of this, but I was wondering when they were going to describe your toes.

> They didn't do your brain either. Love you brother, praying for the best.

> Jan

> On Fri, Sep 17, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Bob Aragon <robwalkingeagle@...

> >wrote:

>

> > I wanted top let my friends on this group know what I have going on. My

> CT

> > scans from Nevember 09, May 2010, and three days ago have all been

> > abnormal. I

> > have had much more severe pain in both my liver and left upper quadrant.

> > Now ,

> > it seems like there is a concrete reason for this. I have been kind of

> > quiet

> > this summer in general, and it is because of this ongoing issue. I go for

> > an

> > ultrasound next week, and I will keep you all informed as I go. Love,

> Bobby

> >

> >

> > CT ABDOMEN WITH IV CONTRAST ON 9/14/2010.

> > COMPARISON: CT abdomen with contrast 6/16/2010

> > TECHNIQUE: Contiguous axial images of the abdomen were acquired with IV

> > contrast in arterial, portal venous and delayed phases. Patient

> received

> > 85 cc

> > of Isovue-370 contrast intravenously without adverse reaction.

> >

> > FINDINGS:

> > Lung base: Clear. No pleural effusion or pneumothorax.

> > Heart: Normal size. No pericardial effusion.

> > Liver: The right liver length is 19.6 cm. Nodular, cirrhotic liver

> > morphology

> > is unchanged. No hyper or hypovascular mass. There is area subtle

> > hypodensity

> > as demonstrated on image #36/11 without obvious change compared to

> > 6-16-10.

> > Additionally, there is a hypodense subtle lesion with subtle mass effect

> > with

> > elevation of the hepatic capsule measuring 3.1 cm in diameter and

> > previously

> > measuring 2.8 centimeters in diameter This is hypovascular on both

> > arterial and

> > portal venous phase imaging.

> >

> > The hepatic, portal, splenic and superior mesenteric veins are patent.

> > Hepatic

> > arterial anatomy is conventional. No significant portosystemic

> collaterals

> > are

> > identified. Gastrohepatic adenopathy is unchanged.

> >

> > Gall bladder and ducts: The gallbladder is surgically absent. No intra

> or

> > extrahepatic bile duct dilation.

> >

> > Spleen: Enlarged, 16.4 cm long axis.

> > Pancreas: Unremarkable.

> > Adrenal glands: Unremarkable.

> > Kidneys: Unremarkable.

> > Retroperitoneum and mesentery: The abdominal aorta has a normal course

> > and

> > caliber.

> >

> > GI Tract: The visualized small bowel and colon have normal diameter

> and

> > wall

> > thickness. No free fluid, pneumatosis, free air or fluid collection.

> >

> > Bones and superficial soft tissues: An expansile lesion in the

> > anterolateral

> > left seventh rib is new since 2006 and increased since March 2008.

> >

> > IMPRESSION:

> > 1. Findings consistent with cirrhosis. No evidence of cellular

> carcinoma.

> > Patchy hypodensity in the right lobe of liver and a more focal subtle

> > lesion

> > with mild mass effect lateral segment left lobe liver measuring 3.1 cm

> in

> > diameter, more conspicuous and slightly larger compared to 6-16-10 when

> it

> > measured 2.8 centimeters in diameter. Recommend correlation with

> > ultrasound and

> > dynamic MR.

> >

> > 2. Slowly enlarging lytic lesion of the anterolateral left seventh rib.

> > Considerations include fibrous dysplasia, aneurysmal bone cyst, myeloma

> and

> > metastasis. Recommend further evaluation

> >

> >

> >

> > Bobby

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >