need to vent

[Guest guest]

this will sound crazy so if you want to skip reading i wont mind. i am pissed,

bobby glenns not been feeling well calling dr. tommorrow want scan and labs done

NOW not wait till nov. hes losing days by 2. he forgets i fed him and skyler the

grandson living with us, i found his empty glass of in the frige instesd of the

sink today. he thought it was friday our grandaughters birthday but its sunday,

we went to her party he doesnt remeber it. like i said i am pissed or call it

scared what ever it is i am it. my newest grandbaby conts. to do good then

bad....to be expected for a 25 week old baby i guess. i am tired a 4 year olsd

is wearing me out ...hes a boy and for some reason its different than the

girls...hes in time out right now....am i to hard on him...or is he to stubborn

i dont know. the tears rolling down my face says it all. i am tired but i have

to cont. on i have no choice in any of this. if i had my choice i would be at

the ocean watching the waves lap the shore...eating at cock of the walk with

elsie and roger...but i have no choice. i am here i am mad i am confused i am

.....??????? really makes me want a glass of wine, but i live to far from town

and its sunday and i cant get any lol. whys life so messed up...what did i do to

deserve all this crap???? should i walk away and tell them all do it

yourself??? should i just suck it up ,drink water and drive on soldier ???? i

know this is my life, for whatever reason these are the cards dealt to me, and i

will find away to stand. but right now i am pissy i am sad i miss my life the

way it was. i am sorry but if i told anyone in my family the way i feel they

would blame me for enabling everyone. you all and elsie...aka mae mae are they

only ones i have to vent to that dont sugarcoat the facts or blow smoke up my

butt. i love you all and just needed to get this off my chest cause i have been

one angry chick all week cause i dont know where these feelings are supposed to

go. i am angry with the sick ones the stupid ones and the ones who just dont

give a crap. i wanna lay in the sun with a glass of something...even water lol.

in my hand soaking up the rays, without a care in the world....but life wont let

me. who wouldnt be pissed. sorry if i have offended anyone...welcome to barbys

world its me against all of them.... when will it be my turn? i know that sounds

selfish but i feel selfish right now. whats god...the universe trying to tell

me? well just spit it out already i will do what i need to but i am tired for

crying out loud!!