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Subject: If

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around

several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't

people from Holland called Holes?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of

magnesia, would you get a Philip's screwdriver?

If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, " A penny for your thoughts "

and you put your two cents in, what happens to the

other penny?

Why is the man who invest all your money called a

broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just

stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist,

but a person who drives a race car not called a

racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?

If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn't terrific

mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

" I am. " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the

English language. Could it be that " I do. " is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked,

doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1

billion stars in the universe you will believe them,

but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will

have to touch it to be sure?

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