Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 My nada had 3 husbands. However, she was married to my father (#3) for 58 years. Her other marriages were when she was young. She told us about them when we were teenagers - we were shocked, but accepted this announcement. Of course, we had to pretend like she had never said it and were not allowed to talk about the subject again (she said she told us so that we wouldn't hear it from someone else). My father and some other adults were really 'angels' in my life. He never once, in 50 years, mentioned the marriages and it was yet another unspoken secret in the family,. In his later years, he was depressed (no wonder) adn nada spoke unkindly of him whenever she got the chance. She was very controlling and jealous and did not allow encourage him contact with his extended family. (He chose not to deal with her wrath and I know he missed his family, immensely) She also deeply resented our closeness. I had 2 failed marriages before I realized the pattern - she would encourage me to be with men who obviously were poor choices (and abusive). Great advice from your mother!!!! Then she would blame me for the failures, keep contact with the exes, telling anyone who listens how wonderful /they /were. Yikes. I am so glad I can see clearly now. After my father passed 2 years ago, nada's destructive behavior became more extreme and completely intolerable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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