Guest guest Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 OK, I don't usually send stuff like this, but this is so funny it had me in tears this morning, so I HAD to send it: Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible or worse bulletproof. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the number one factor is having a coyote date. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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