Re: Virginia Tech

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure what to think, Non-BP Man. I tend to lean towards this

feeling like not enough was done in his childhood to protect him from

turning out to be this monster. And I hate what the press has done

w/glorifying him- giving so much more credence to his debauchery and

inhumanity b/c he sent a package to NBC. I was sooo proud of the

parents of the slain victims for cancelling their guest appearances

on the morning shows b/c they were digusted w/how the media has

handled this story and shown so many pictures of the murderer. I

would be pissed off too if I were a parent or loved one of a person

who was killed- all about ratings. Who really needs to see his face

smeared on every Yahoo page and ever newspaper and every tv channel.

I don't give a crap about him and his 15 minutes of fame needs to be

over in my opinion. This is what he wanted and they play into it and

yet the real victims, the family members and students who survived,

they have to be met w/his face everywhere. Nice.

My suspicion from what I've read is that he was molested in childhood

by a teacher as that was a play he wrote and there's often more truth

in fiction than in non-fiction. He also wrote a father-son angst play

as well so he must have had some hang ups w/his dad. But he didn't

just happen. The neighbors that knew him growing up said he was a

loner and wouldn't speak when greeted. That's kind of freaky and kind

of a red flag for the family life.

I don't think people care to look at his family life though. They'd

prefer to think this just happened as it serves to make everyone live

in fear all the more and fear sells- ratings and products and all

kinds of stuff. Fear sells much easier than love- or at least real

love. I feel sorry for the situation all around. Its sad, real sad.

Kerrie

I know this tragedy is not

> > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > sad for the people directly affected by this

> > horrible horrible

> > > shooting.

> > > >

> > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I

> > have been

> > crying

> > > for

> > > > these people, as I imagine many of you have been

> > as well. The

> > shear

> > > > terror those who survived must have experienced.

> > The awful loss

> > of

> > > > young promising lives. One of the professors

> > killed was a

> > holocaust

> > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD

> > or other

> > > > psychological problems as a result, along with

> > any lasting

> > physical

> > > > problems.

> > > >

> > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant

> > here, I'm just

> > > reaching

> > > > out to the other KOs here who may be heavily

> > saddened by recent

> > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the

> > students who

> > survived,

> > > or

> > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of events

> > really makes me sad

> > > for them.

> > > >

> > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the

> > 23rd floor of the

> > > second

> > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first

> > plane hit and

> > > > dissociated, and even though I have never been

> > in such a tragedy,

> > > > somehow I could understand exactly what she was

> > telling me. How

> > she

> > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she

> > couldn't really

> > > describe

> > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > vegetarian and

> > developed

> > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > refered back to 9/11

> > > somehow

> > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > >

> > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to

> > do. I am so

> > sorry

> > > for

> > > > them because in some ways I can really feel

> > their pain.

> > > >

> > > > Melany

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > smell?

> > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > smell?

> > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Melany,

I probably have a slightly different take than most on this situation

just b/c I'm weird after growing up in a bp household like that. You

probably know what I mean- its weird growing up w/this dysfunction

and you learn certain things you'd rather not have learned. Saturday

night and Sunday night I had a bad gut feeling and I've learned over

the years when I have a bad gut feeling, I need to get down on my

knees and pray as its usually right and so that's exactly what I did.

I can't ever tell what will transpire, but I feel it in my bones and

most times now I mention it to dh so he can pray with me and I feel

more sane. When the shooting happened on Monday, I kind of said to

God 'ah, this is what I felt coming in the winds.' and of course I

cried. How could I not? Its sooo freaking sad! But then I saw these

people who survived- Sheenan and others who were able to battle

the murdered out of their rooms and I saw the face of my prayers-

people I've never met and never will, but people whom I prayed for

none-the-less as a fellow human being in one world we share. And yes,

it will take them a long time to assimilate why they live and others

die, but that is something we all are called to question as who has

not embraced the face of death at this point in our lives? Why do

some leave while others stay? What is the meaning of life and more

specifically, the meaning of our own life? I can't answer that for

anyone as I have a hard enough time w/myself most days. Its hell in

the dolldrums when you've got all this trauma to sort out and trying

to find reason behind things that will never make sense. They're not

meant to make sense. They're meant to strike at the core of life and

unsettle the very fiber of what's good about the human race.

But I did see a lot of heroes emerge such as the one you cited- Liviu

I believe his name was- the Holocaust survivor. I thought that was a

beautiful story and if you look at it from the eyes of the press, you

see a life endured from the Holocaust only to die at the hands of

violence- a life that started w/death and man's inhumanity and died

that way as well. Its a nihillistic void we risk falling into when

looked at from that angle and I believe plenty of us live in that

void in our culture- the senselessness of things plague us. And yet

that's not at all how I see this 76 year old lecturer, father and

husband. I see him as a heroe, a person who in his early years surely

must have had people looking out for him if he was a young boy who

lived through WWII in a concentration camp. People, espeically young

people, did not live through that if it were not for the older people

protecting them and helping them to maintain their physical and

psychological spirits daily. Liviu had a whole lifetime to integrate

why he was spared while others died and what did he do with his life?

He lived it and got married and had children and gave back by way of

being a phenomenal engineer and lecturer...and perhaps a great

husband and father. His son really adored and loved him. But what's

more than what he gave to science was what he gave to humanity- a

witness of hope and faith...and rememberance. He knew he was older

and he saw the youth in his room much like he was a youth once too

caught in the crossfires of man's inhumanity towards man. And he

didn't think. He did what he learned in the concentration camps and

what he did his whole life- he built upon the ashes something greater

than death- hope. He shielded a future generation of 20-30 students

of his from being butchered by throwing himself against the door and

taking the bullets meant to strike down the future. And he didn't die

instantly. He was graced with time to text message his son and his

wife and to tell them of his love for them. " Life is beautiful. " I

see him as someone so much greater than a victim of life. I see him

as a soul larger than life and one who inspires me to greater depths

of living and loving...and living without fear.

I have made it a conscious effort to not ever remember any of the

names of the terrorists who attacked our country on 9-11. Instead, I

remember Father Judge who rushed into the towers w/the

firefighers and was the first rescuer to fall and I remember the

names of Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham & Tom Burnett from Flight 93. They

are real heroes who give us hope in something greater...greater than

even ourselves. And I will remember Liviu Librescu and I will forget

this young man's name which I still can't fully remember b/c I happen

to believe love is stronger than fear and even death. And that's also

why every day I wake up and kiss my children on the forehead and am

so happy to see their smiling faces and I push nada's face into the

recesses of bad childhood nightmares that have no basis in today. I

believe in love. I saw it at Columbine, I've read about it from

Auschwitz, I saw at Virginia Tech, I saw it on 9-11 and I see it in

my daily life. But like you, I do empathize and feel an enormous

amount of sadness for those who witnessed this cruelty and those who

lost loved ones in this act of terror. And especially who

lives in the midst of this national tragedy...a fellow sister KO.

Kerrie

>

> I know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible

shooting.

>

> KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying

for

> these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

> terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

> young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

> survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

> psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

> problems.

>

> I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just

reaching

> out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

> events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived,

or

> the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad

for them.

>

> Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the

second

> world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

> dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

> somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

> didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really

describe

> what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

> high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11

somehow

> even though it's been 6 years.

>

> These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry

for

> them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

>

> Melany

>