Re:Is Letter Writing a Common Theme?

[Guest guest]

<<I wonder if this is a common theme

with borderlines? Has anyone else noticed this with their BP? It

seemed like everytime time I came home from college there would be a 5

page letter on my bed telling me how awful I am for going to college

and leaving her there, how much I've changed and dissapointment from

it, etc. Then after college was more letter in the mail pouring her

heart out of how she needs to stop living her life by letting others

put her down all the time, etc. I can't count how many letters I've

gotten from her! Anyone else?>>

Oh my goodness, yes, that's very much my experience. I still feel a little

nervous going to the mailbox, wondering what the mail might bring.

And, my mother was not crazy about my going off to college either!

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Nada never wrote to me. Her modus operendi was either to rage

because someone had done her wrong, or give us the silent

treatment. She would also confront, when we were tryint to avoid

her. I used to wish she would write, thinking that it might be a

way to communicate better. But after being on this board, I realize

that any written communication would have been just as 'crazy' as

anything else she did.

Sylvia

>

> <<I wonder if this is a common theme

> with borderlines? Has anyone else noticed this with their BP? It

> seemed like everytime time I came home from college there would

be a 5

> page letter on my bed telling me how awful I am for going to

college

> and leaving her there, how much I've changed and dissapointment

from

> it, etc. Then after college was more letter in the mail pouring

her

> heart out of how she needs to stop living her life by letting

others

> put her down all the time, etc. I can't count how many letters

I've

> gotten from her! Anyone else?>>

>

>

> Oh my goodness, yes, that's very much my experience. I still feel

a little

> nervous going to the mailbox, wondering what the mail might bring.

>

> And, my mother was not crazy about my going off to college either!

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi...I'm the " newbie " but no stranger to any of this...I, too, was

bombarded by ridiculously long letters (all typed...so many many pages

it was sublimely ridiculous). Not only did she send them to me via the

mail service, but yikes...upon cleaning out her office after her death,

nada had kept copies of ALL her letters to me. Not only was I initially

bombarded by them the first time around, but with copies of those that I

had all but forgotten from years past came back to haunt me once again!!

To say it was like a voice from the grave...yup! So whether or not this

was a trait I don't know, but upon reading several of your posts that

address this, I guess so.

>

> <<I wonder if this is a common theme

> with borderlines? Has anyone else noticed this with their BP? It

> seemed like everytime time I came home from college there would be a

5

> page letter on my bed telling me how awful I am for going to college

> and leaving her there, how much I've changed and dissapointment from

> it, etc. Then after college was more letter in the mail pouring her

> heart out of how she needs to stop living her life by letting others

> put her down all the time, etc. I can't count how many letters I've

> gotten from her! Anyone else?>>

>

>

> Oh my goodness, yes, that's very much my experience. I still feel a

little

> nervous going to the mailbox, wondering what the mail might bring.

>

> And, my mother was not crazy about my going off to college either!

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sylvia and all, Long time not talk! I just got back from vacation

and it was great I missed all the mothers day drama!

But anyways My nada would never write while I was in the home

growing up. A few times I tried to go to my room and construct a

letter to her explaining that maybe if we wrote our feelings and

thoughts down it would be more productive. She just accused me of

rotten things like not being able to face myself, her or my

feelings. But it was quit contrary, I was trying to do just that. I

wanted to face the real issues and stick to the real issues with out

being raged at. So when I wanted to letter write back in the day she

would just rage all the more. Needless to say I only tired it a few

times before I learned!

Now that I am out however she attempts to write often. And your

right it is really messed up. Her written words are just as

confusing and rageful as her verbal words! I guess with them they

have no concept of communication regardless of how you do it.

Love Lizzy

> >

> > <<I wonder if this is a common theme

> > with borderlines? Has anyone else noticed this with their BP?

It

> > seemed like everytime time I came home from college there would

> be a 5

> > page letter on my bed telling me how awful I am for going to

> college

> > and leaving her there, how much I've changed and dissapointment

> from

> > it, etc. Then after college was more letter in the mail pouring

> her

> > heart out of how she needs to stop living her life by letting

> others

> > put her down all the time, etc. I can't count how many letters

> I've

> > gotten from her! Anyone else?>>

> >

> >

> > Oh my goodness, yes, that's very much my experience. I still

feel

> a little

> > nervous going to the mailbox, wondering what the mail might

bring.

> >

> > And, my mother was not crazy about my going off to college

either!

> >

> >

> >

> > ************************************** See what's free at

> http://www.aol.com.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

<<Not only was I initially

bombarded by them the first time around, but with copies of those that I

had all but forgotten from years past came back to haunt me once again!!

To say it was like a voice from the grave...yup!>>

Oh, ugh. I bet that killed any tendency you might have had to think more

sympathetically of her post-death, huh?

I thought of another " nada writing letters " experience I had. Once, when I

was a teen, my mother found a " prayer journal " /diary type thing I used to

keep. Not only did she read it, but she wrote nasty comments in it.

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

> >

> > <<I wonder if this is a common theme

> > with borderlines? Has anyone else noticed this with their BP? It

> > seemed like everytime time I came home from college there would

be a

> 5

> > page letter on my bed telling me how awful I am for going to

college

> > and leaving her there, how much I've changed and dissapointment

from

> > it, etc. Then after college was more letter in the mail pouring

her

> > heart out of how she needs to stop living her life by letting

others

> > put her down all the time, etc. I can't count how many letters

I've

> > gotten from her! Anyone else?>>

> >

> >

> > Oh my goodness, yes, that's very much my experience. I still

feel a

> little

> > nervous going to the mailbox, wondering what the mail might bring.

> >

> > And, my mother was not crazy about my going off to college

either!

> >

> >

> >

> > ************************************** See what's free at

> http://www.aol.com.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I had to laugh at the nasty comments part. So arrogant! My nada of

course read my notes, diary, dug through my trash and read that,

eavesdropped. But the GALL to actually WRITE in your prayer

journal???? How can someone justify that to themselves?

That was SO invasive, and not right of her!

-Deanna

> Oh, ugh. I bet that killed any tendency you might have had to think

more

> sympathetically of her post-death, huh?

>

> I thought of another " nada writing letters " experience I had. Once,

when I

> was a teen, my mother found a " prayer journal " /diary type thing I

used to

> keep. Not only did she read it, but she wrote nasty comments in it.

[Guest guest]

Ditto - my nada read my journal, opened my mail, searched my room,

eavesdropped on everything. She would then tell me how stupid what

I had written was/what was wrong with my friends, etc. But

commenting in your diary is ...wow, so outrageous!

Sara

>

> I had to laugh at the nasty comments part. So arrogant! My nada

of

> course read my notes, diary, dug through my trash and read that,

> eavesdropped. But the GALL to actually WRITE in your prayer

> journal???? How can someone justify that to themselves?

>

> That was SO invasive, and not right of her!

>

> -Deanna

>

>

> > Oh, ugh. I bet that killed any tendency you might have had to

think

> more

> > sympathetically of her post-death, huh?

> >

> > I thought of another " nada writing letters " experience I had.

Once,

> when I

> > was a teen, my mother found a " prayer journal " /diary type thing I

> used to

> > keep. Not only did she read it, but she wrote nasty comments

in it.

>

[Guest guest]

And....nada would CORRECT in RED any letters I would send as she was

once a " scientific editor " and wanted my English 2 B perfect!!! ugh...I

don't give a rat's ___ about perfection any longer...I realize I'm not

the best at spelling nor grammar, but hey...I think I get my point

across. Oh, and once nada found some SELF (nude) portraits I had

drawn...she accused me of posing for them...well, I did...in my own

mirror in my own bedroom!!! LOL...I was flattered in a backhanded sort

of way when she RECOGNIZED who they were...and I never thought I was

much of an artist!!! such accolades, huh?

AND the snoop and poop into my things was ALWAYS...wish I had been more

inventive as far as where I could SECRETLY store my things, but she

would have found that stash, too, 2 B sure!!

>

> <<Not only was I initially

> bombarded by them the first time around, but with copies of those

that I

> had all but forgotten from years past came back to haunt me once

again!!

> To say it was like a voice from the grave...yup!>>

>

>

> Oh, ugh. I bet that killed any tendency you might have had to think

more

> sympathetically of her post-death, huh?

>

> I thought of another " nada writing letters " experience I had. Once,

when I

> was a teen, my mother found a " prayer journal " /diary type thing I used

to

> keep. Not only did she read it, but she wrote nasty comments in it.

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>