New here - so glad to have found this forum

[Guest guest]

It's actually my MIl who has BPD. I always knew she had NPD, and my

DH went into counsleling about six weeks ago. We have a ten month old

daughter.

DH's counsellor has recommmended some book for DH to read, hence me

knowing she thinks Mil has BPD (as I think).

I am at the point where I have no desire for contact with MIL, and no

matter what, I CANNOT bring myself to feel sorry for her. I have

reserached and researched NPD and BPD and at no point have I felt any

sympathy for this woman. She is abusive and sick (I won't go into it

too much right now) and I have fought like a tiger to limit the

contact between her and my daughter.

Thankfully, DH agreed to begin the journey that would open his eyes

to his M's behaviour, and help free him of the fear, obligation and

guilt he has felt for as long as he can remember.

DH is going through a very tough time right now, and I am so proud of

him, and so glad to have found this forum. I will show it to him and

maybe he'll post when he feels ready.

He is feeling very alone right now, and as much as I try to support

him, I think the real tonic will be people who actually know where

he's coming from and how he feels.

Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

Welcome,

I think it is great that you are researching this as well. Having a

child is a great motivator for getting rid of the dysfunction in our

lives. You husband has had a lifetime of subtle and possibly not so

subtle abuses that may have him feeling he is responsible for the

craziness in your MILs life. It is a hard journey for us to

overcome all that childhood conditioning. It is a big help for him

to have your support.

Sylvia

>

> It's actually my MIl who has BPD. I always knew she had NPD, and

my

> DH went into counsleling about six weeks ago. We have a ten month

old

> daughter.

>

> DH's counsellor has recommmended some book for DH to read, hence

me

> knowing she thinks Mil has BPD (as I think).

>

> I am at the point where I have no desire for contact with MIL, and

no

> matter what, I CANNOT bring myself to feel sorry for her. I have

> reserached and researched NPD and BPD and at no point have I felt

any

> sympathy for this woman. She is abusive and sick (I won't go into

it

> too much right now) and I have fought like a tiger to limit the

> contact between her and my daughter.

>

> Thankfully, DH agreed to begin the journey that would open his

eyes

> to his M's behaviour, and help free him of the fear, obligation

and

> guilt he has felt for as long as he can remember.

>

> DH is going through a very tough time right now, and I am so proud

of

> him, and so glad to have found this forum. I will show it to him

and

> maybe he'll post when he feels ready.

>

> He is feeling very alone right now, and as much as I try to

support

> him, I think the real tonic will be people who actually know where

> he's coming from and how he feels.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

I think it's great that as a wife of a KO you are learning about BPD

as well, and also about the KO experience. I know that my brother has

some issues in his marriage because our mom was BPD. I don't think

that he openly expresses all his feelings to his wife. But he often

confides in me that he gets stressed out and resentful when she asks

him to do things, really insignificant stuff, because he starts to

become paranoid that she is " expecting too much of him " , just like our

nada. He's in therapy, but from a KO perspective, it's sometimes hard

to not react in a defensive manner.

Good luck to your famiy!

-Becky

>

>

>

>

>

>

> It's actually my MIl who has BPD. I always knew she had NPD, and my

> DH went into counsleling about six weeks ago. We have a ten month old

> daughter.

>

> DH's counsellor has recommmended some book for DH to read, hence me

> knowing she thinks Mil has BPD (as I think).

>

> I am at the point where I have no desire for contact with MIL, and no

> matter what, I CANNOT bring myself to feel sorry for her. I have

> reserached and researched NPD and BPD and at no point have I felt any

> sympathy for this woman. She is abusive and sick (I won't go into it

> too much right now) and I have fought like a tiger to limit the

> contact between her and my daughter.

>

> Thankfully, DH agreed to begin the journey that would open his eyes

> to his M's behaviour, and help free him of the fear, obligation and

> guilt he has felt for as long as he can remember.

>

> DH is going through a very tough time right now, and I am so proud of

> him, and so glad to have found this forum. I will show it to him and

> maybe he'll post when he feels ready.

>

> He is feeling very alone right now, and as much as I try to support

> him, I think the real tonic will be people who actually know where

> he's coming from and how he feels.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

>