CONFUSED/CONFUSED/CONFUSED

[Guest guest]

Hi All:

Deb let me first say that I apologize for continuing this line of

thinking but I am truly confused!!!!!

This list is for venting right?This list is a group of people brought

together by THE MONSTER right?Having a bad day come talk we will understand,try

to help even if it is only to listen.Do I have all of this correct?If any of the

above is incorrect please disreguard the remainder of this post.

The recent post from Jo to has me greatly concerned and confused.We may

not be councilers,but we have all looked this monster in the eyes and

screamed!Alcoholics go to ex- alcohols for help,druggies go to ex- druggies for

help,overeaters go to ex- overeaters for help.Every one of these places have

failures where people backslide and kill themselves,or others but I don't see

the members of these and many other support systems throwing in the towel, when

someone has fallen into a cycle of selfhate and destruction. The worry that you

might be the last one to say something to someone before they commit suicide is

to say only come here if your in total control because we all have no time for

the truly hard stuff.Standing beside someone who needs more than your capable of

giving but standing there just the same with a out stretched hand of tolerance

and understanding.

The frist and most important part of any recovery is to admit that you

need to recover and seek the proper help. Oft times that means that we on the

sidelines can do nothing but support.Not say STOP we have seen your highs and

lows and you need help,and because of this I can no longer talk with you . It is

to dangerous for me.Thoughts of suicide are now not proper things to express,yet

most of us have had them.I had a pretty clear picture of what this group is and

what we are trying to do here,now that picture is very unclear.I have heard from

two of the persons that I respect the most on this list say " I AGREE NOW LETS

MOVE ON " .

Who gave anyone on this list the respsibility and burden of my life or

anyone elses! We are no different than any other support group in that some

people will slip away.They will lose their battle with the monster and we can't

change that and if when one of the " FAMILY " gets close to that edge,when they

look into the abyss and see open arms instead of the end to all things if the

situation is so dire that the simple act of talking is to much of a burden for

the list to bear then maybe I am in the wrong spot.Jo i read the love in your

post but it was also an ultimatum GET HELP OR GET OUT " I want no part in

your?What people

Do we not have sufficent guilt in our day to day lives without creating it where

there is none?If your tired of the bitching say so don't mask it in I'm afraid

of what your going to do next.

If your truly afraid then don't mask it in You need more than I can give. When

people get to that edge,when WE get to that edge and the only support system you

have says what was said here then you are truly alone.OH well at least we can

all rest easy if something happens because we did all we could do and pointed in

the right direction.

WOULD it not be ashame to know that all we had to do is listen and we

coulden't even do that without are own feelings of guilt jumping up to tell us

that your asking to much because?

I don't know the answer to that.No Jo we can't fix the worlds problems and when

you compare them, ours pales in the light of true misery.Yet silly me thought

that I had found people that would at least try to help with our own little

piece of hell.

Are we to run and hide because of imagined feelings of guilt when people get to

that edge?If so then I have mis-judged this group.

If not then all I can say is silence is golden,say nothing or at least express

those feelings personaly.If we are going to censor problems and feelings.Then

lets censor the judgments as well!!!!!

A FRIEND IN PAIN (and very confused )

PJ