Way worse than even I thought - jl07456

[Guest guest]

Hi JL

I am very sorry to hear stories like this.

It happens all too often.

These are my thoughts.

 

[1] I believe that life here on Earth is only a small part of our existance. I

dont know about God and Heaven, or the like, with any certainy, but I do feel in

my guts that after life there is more. If you believe in an afterlife too, then

this could be a tool to use in discussing things with your son. 10 may be a bit

too young to understand all the details, but it is not to young to understand

HOPE and LOVE.

[2] I dont think it is too early to - 'begin' - to discuss the issues with your

son. You could start on his level, and as he grows older, and deeper, so could

the conversation between you.

[3] I do think that it is important that your son have memorys of his father.

Thus some time spent with him.

[4] Speak to your son about good things having to do with his father. Dont

imprint negative messages that your son will carry for life, about his Dad. When

your son is a man, then you could mention the more controversial issues if you

have need to.

[5] This man needs all the good energy and love you have to spare. Even if

contact is not desireable, always send good energy his way. This will be a

blessing to both him, and to you.

[6] If you, yourself, are feeling bad about your part in the scheme of things,

please forgive yourself. Things happen for a reason, and I believe everything

works out to the good in the end. Many things are beyond our control, and

understanding, for one reason or another.

One day perhaps we will be enlightened. Until then, we do the best that we can.

 

I am blasting you, and those in your life, with happiness, health, love, and

lots of good energy.

 

love

don in ks

 

 

[Guest guest]

, I just loved your reply. Especially the part about having loving

memories of his father. Now as an adult, I can certainly see all the hell my

Mama had to to go thru to raise 6 kids with an alcoholic father.. but you know

when she would speak badly about Daddy we would not resent him, but HER. He was

our dad and to the contrary if we ever spoke badly about our mother and daddy

heard it there would be hell to pay even as adults! I never heard him ever once

say anything bad about Mama and I am so thankful for that.

When I divorced my first hubby and father to my girls I made a promise to myself

that I would never talk unkindly about their dad in front of them. THIS WAS HARD

at first! but I had enough experience with that as a kid. I figured when they

got grown they would be able to see him for the cheating, insane control freak

he is, but you know they both still have a loving relationship with him and I am

so happy for that. The only problems my daughters have is when he starts to talk

about me.. Hell weve been divorced for 30yrs or more and if it wasnt for

pictures, I wouldnt even remember what he looks like. Guess he remembers me. LOL

We never bothered with too much custody issues and they spent lots of time

living with the both of us traveling between AZ and CA. We agreed not to ever

fight in front of them about anything and when my teenager would call and tell

me how hard dad was being on her and wouldnt let her go or do something.. Id say

so why are you calling me.. hes your dad and you are in his home and I have no

say over that, but before you pack your bags to come home, remember I probably

would say NO too. Not to say that I wouldnt call him in private to see if its

all ok over there and he thanked me for taking his side. He was right and I am

so happy that our girls dont resent him or me. My daughter told me some years

ago how as a kid she blamed me for the divorce and always prayed we would get

back together until one day the light came on and she realized she could never

be married to someone like her dad. Its better to raise a well adjusted child

than it is to burden them with our problems.

I also agree about sending good thoughts his way. When my ex was diagnosed with

cancer a couple of years ago and was going thru the hell of a year of

treatments, I prayed for him always and my daughters would call we would pray

for him together. They know they can trust me with their most intimate of

thoughts and knew that I was sincere in my prayers for him. You have a

wonderful day. Debra

>

> Hi JL

> I am very sorry to hear stories like this.

> It happens all too often.

> These are my thoughts.

>  

> [1] I believe that life here on Earth is only a small part of our existance. I

dont know about God and Heaven, or the like, with any certainy, but I do feel in

my guts that after life there is more. If you believe in an afterlife too, then

this could be a tool to use in discussing things with your son. 10 may be a bit

too young to understand all the details, but it is not to young to understand

HOPE and LOVE.

> [2] I dont think it is too early to - 'begin' - to discuss the issues with

your son. You could start on his level, and as he grows older, and deeper, so

could the conversation between you.

> [3] I do think that it is important that your son have memorys of his father.

Thus some time spent with him.

> [4] Speak to your son about good things having to do with his father. Dont

imprint negative messages that your son will carry for life, about his Dad. When

your son is a man, then you could mention the more controversial issues if you

have need to.

> [5] This man needs all the good energy and love you have to spare. Even if

contact is not desireable, always send good energy his way. This will be a

blessing to both him, and to you.

> [6] If you, yourself, are feeling bad about your part in the scheme of things,

please forgive yourself. Things happen for a reason, and I believe everything

works out to the good in the end. Many things are beyond our control, and

understanding, for one reason or another.

> One day perhaps we will be enlightened. Until then, we do the best that we

can.

>  

> I am blasting you, and those in your life, with happiness, health, love, and

lots of good energy.

>  

> love

> don in ks

>  

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