Guest guest Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Oh dear Jackie, I so much understand what you are going through. I cannot tell you the times I sat at my husband's bedside exhaused beyond description while knowing all of it was so he could choose to die and leave me. I tried so hard not to be angry, but it is normal to feel that. When you're absoutely worn out, you don't have the stamina to 'fight the good fight' and 'keep smiling'. You just want to explode and spew venom wherever it lands! Better that it be spewed here than on him sweetie! We are strong, we can take it. He is not. Just one word here about the eating, even though he may not be saying anything to you about it, the mere sight of food may be nauseating to him. I found that to be true with my husband and also with my Mom, especially when she first started her dialysis. As the dialysis continued and the poisons were cleaned from her blood and her kidneys became a bit better, the nausea subsided. Prayerfully that will happen with your husband. However, don't you dare feel bad about venting! It is necessary in order to maintain your emotional equilibrium and personal health. Vent all you need to, anytime you need to! That's what friends are for! I'm praying Jackie, for your husband and for you. This is a journey that will bring strong men and women to their knees quickly. It's not because you're weak, it's because this is HARD. Hang in there Jackie, my heart and my prayers are with you. Many hugs................ Di On Wed, Apr 28, 2010 at 5:52 PM, jckellermann wrote: > > > Hi Everyone: Having a frustrating day. They were supposed to move my > husband to a nursing facility today and we're still sitting here at the > hospital. We have heard nothing yet on the move. He had dialysis today, they > have him set up for 3 times a week. They are trying to see if his appetite > improves, as he was on pureed foods but is now swallowing better. He hasn't > gagged in over a week now. Yesterday we filled out a menu for today. They > give him small portions. He doesn't like to look at too much. Tonight they > brought him cream of broccoli soup, a fresh pear and a slice of wheat bread. > He normally likes all that stuff. As soon as I hand him the food he takes a > few bites and says that's all. I know he needs more than that so I try to > pursuade him to eat a few more bites. I decided to make a bargain with him. > If I ate half the slice of bread he could eat the other half and he got real > stubborn about it and said he wasn't eating any more. I guess he doesn't > care. He will get too weak for surgery and there will be nothing else to do > but watch him die. I'm sick of this! I have tried so hard to do all I can > for him and now he doesn't want to try. He puts on a good front for everyone > else but not me. I was thinking-- every time he doesn't eat I won't either > and then maybe I'll get weak and sick and I can say to him, well you did it > to me. I'm so mad. I just want to get outta here! Sorry about the venting > but I feel like I'm gonna explode. Jackie > > > -- Warm Hugs.......... Di http://auntdisexperimentallife.blogspot.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Jackie, I am frustrated right there with you. I thought we were told that he was not leaving without a liver? You must be very miffed. I still have every finger and every tow crossed and we are praying for his liver. It worked for Real, and Annika Tiede, who is 9 years old. For both of them, we started praying for one year before they got thier livers. In your case, it hasnt been quite that long, but we are keeping the faith. Dont forget to take good care of you as well. I know this must be grueling, and you continue to amaze us all here. Hang in there. Love, Bobby " I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you come back. " Mackensie ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Wed, April 28, 2010 4:52:45 PM Subject: Frustrated!!! Hi Everyone: Having a frustrating day. They were supposed to move my husband to a nursing facility today and we're still sitting here at the hospital. We have heard nothing yet on the move. He had dialysis today, they have him set up for 3 times a week. They are trying to see if his appetite improves, as he was on pureed foods but is now swallowing better. He hasn't gagged in over a week now. Yesterday we filled out a menu for today. They give him small portions. He doesn't like to look at too much. Tonight they brought him cream of broccoli soup, a fresh pear and a slice of wheat bread. He normally likes all that stuff. As soon as I hand him the food he takes a few bites and says that's all. I know he needs more than that so I try to pursuade him to eat a few more bites. I decided to make a bargain with him. If I ate half the slice of bread he could eat the other half and he got real stubborn about it and said he wasn't eating any more. I guess he doesn't care. He will get too weak for surgery and there will be nothing else to do but watch him die. I'm sick of this! I have tried so hard to do all I can for him and now he doesn't want to try. He puts on a good front for everyone else but not me. I was thinking-- every time he doesn't eat I won't either and then maybe I'll get weak and sick and I can say to him, well you did it to me. I'm so mad. I just want to get outta here! Sorry about the venting but I feel like I'm gonna explode. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 hi jackie, no ned to apoligize, i would feel the same way, meltdowns can sometimes clear our minds and get us refocused, did i ever tell you about my melt down of dancing in my pjs in the driveway till i collapsed lol. it wasnt funny at the time, but still gives me a chuckle when i think about it these days. i am praying so hard they get a liver soon, hang in there girl, theres a song by rascal flats, called stand, have you heard it?? when i feel weak i play it as loud as i can cry as hard as i can, ask god ...no beg god to help me, then i stand again.its easier said than donei know,just know i am pulling for you both and praying. good thoughts my friend good thoughts!! much love barby > > Hi Everyone: Having a frustrating day. They were supposed to move my husband to a nursing facility today and we're still sitting here at the hospital. We have heard nothing yet on the move. He had dialysis today, they have him set up for 3 times a week. They are trying to see if his appetite improves, as he was on pureed foods but is now swallowing better. He hasn't gagged in over a week now. Yesterday we filled out a menu for today. They give him small portions. He doesn't like to look at too much. Tonight they brought him cream of broccoli soup, a fresh pear and a slice of wheat bread. He normally likes all that stuff. As soon as I hand him the food he takes a few bites and says that's all. I know he needs more than that so I try to pursuade him to eat a few more bites. I decided to make a bargain with him. If I ate half the slice of bread he could eat the other half and he got real stubborn about it and said he wasn't eating any more. I guess he doesn't care. He will get too weak for surgery and there will be nothing else to do but watch him die. I'm sick of this! I have tried so hard to do all I can for him and now he doesn't want to try. He puts on a good front for everyone else but not me. I was thinking-- every time he doesn't eat I won't either and then maybe I'll get weak and sick and I can say to him, well you did it to me. I'm so mad. I just want to get outta here! Sorry about the venting but I feel like I'm gonna explode. Jackie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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