Re: Introduction

[Guest guest]

Is it valid thru out India ? or valid in only Govt. of Gujarat ?? . It is not cleared in this amendment.

regards

[Devanshu N Prajapati]

-----Original Message-----From: ketan satasia Sent: Thursday, August 03, 2006 5:38 PMTo: indiansafetyprofessionals Subject: introduction

Dear all,

This is my first mail on group. My self Ketan Satasia. I am working as a Safety Officer In ECHJAY INDUSTRIES LTD. its an eng. unit.

Recently I had completed MIHS from Sardar Patel University.

I had did my six months internship in Dishman Pharmaceuticals and chemicals limited. And i am verymuch thankful Mr. Vishnoi, Head of SHE Department.

find the attached copy of amendment in Gujarat Safety Officer publishd By Gujarat Safety Council in SURAKSHA, June 2006.

Ketan Satasia

09898690708

Safety Officer

ECHJAY INDUSTRIES LTD.

Rajkot.

Here's a new way to find what you're looking for - Yahoo! Answers

[Guest guest]

Hi Leanne! Welcome to the group. I am 31, and came to the same

realization about 3 years ago. I too spent most of my 20's trying

to " rescue " my mother, only to be told over and over again that

actually I had done it all wrong...with the help of a great

therapist and a lot of distance my quality of life has improved

dramatically...this group helps me a lot as well.

The accusations don't go away (I just got some new ones last week)

but you can get stronger. At 27 you certainly deserve to be living

the way that you want to, with healthy, supportive people around you.

best of luck and look forward to reading your posts!

Sara

>

> I am a 27 yr old female who has just come to the realization that

in

> order for me to have my own life I have to stop trying to help or

save

> my borderline mother. I have spent the last 5 years of my life

trying

> to help her in one way shape or form and for what to be told I am

> controlling and that everything is my fault.

>

> I have recently chosen to take back my life and put distance and

> boundaries between me and my mother. For my health and sanity! I

am

> doing okay with it some days are worse than others and of course

my

> mother thinks I have completely abandoned her and turned into a

cold

> individual.

>

> I am hoping to connect to others who are dealing with the same

trials

> and issues that I am dealing with a Borderline parent.

>

[Guest guest]

It is comforting to have others that understand when you need support.

I also have a supportive husband and he can be great. But he won't

stick up for himself with his family and I want to just say you tell me

what to do with my NADA but you won't do the same thing with your own

mother.

It is unfortunate that your Nada has placed you in a position of maybe

not being able to see your brother. Maybe you should see if you can

meet up with your brother and his family at a park near your Nada's

home before or after they go to your parents house. Good luck!

[Guest guest]

Welcome a glace. Its kind of like AA- 'glad you are here, sorry for

the reason you are here.'

I'm most definitely sorry for the suicide of your brother. That

really hurts and hits home to a very strong degree the need to

protect yourself from your parents. They're lack of accountability

for their mental illnesses (bpd and co-dependancy) has contributed to

someone else's taking of their lives. That was part of the catalyst

that has made me go LC/NC/RC- rarely talk to my nada in the year that

has passed since her live in fiance of 5 years killed himself. He

killed himself last March and well, as a parent, I just have no

desire for my kids to ever have anything to do w/her or the rest of

the FOO if they are going to see her as the total victim. I don't

want to have to explain her neuroticism to my own children and wonder

if things she says and manipulates will be battles I'll have to fight

in the dark- never knowing what she'll say or do or what she's

capable. My children are my first priority right up there w/my

marriage. I love my mentally ill mom as best I can, but I can't have

her in my life. I see her as too dangerous to my values, beliefs and

own personhood. I wouldn't trust her any further than I could throw

her as the saying goes and as such, I look at it as having a moral

obligation to protect my children from such insanity...the same as

I'd protect them from some stranger-danger or pedophile that may

potentially move into the neighborhood. As it stands, the majority of

these violent crimes take place at the hands of people we know and I

believe it and want to protect my kids more than I want to solve the

riddle of the sphinyx. I feel sorry for her, but its not my lot in

life to take away or add to her pain...and it matters little what I

do, she will be in pain. She was in pain before I entered the earth

and so I know its not personal. It just sucks though now being a mom

to have to see my own mother so impersonally.

Best wishes to you and my deepest sympathies for the loss of your

brother.

Kerrie

>

> Hi

>

> My mom is bpd and dad is classic co-dependent/npd. I am a 38yo mom

of

> 3 young kids with a loving husband who is supportive but has a hard

> time supporting my decision to go nc/very lc with my parents.

>

> I have been reading entries on this site for awhile with such a

relief

> to know there are others going through the same things. As most of

you

> know, people who have not experienced a parental relationship that

is

> like parenting your parent have a hard time understanding what you

are

> going through which is a very alienating experience. There are

only a

> few people outside of this site that I can talk to about my

> relationship with my parents.

>

> I came to realize my mom has bpd about 2 years ago following the

> suicide of my brother and the aftermath of that. My mom was acting

> unusually odd following my brothers death and as a result of my

> limiting contact with her, she made a suicide threat to me that she

> denied when I called my dad with the concern I had for her well

being.

> A physician friend led me to look into the possibility that my mom

has

> bpd. I about fell off the chair when I read the DSM criteria as

most

> of them fit my mom exactly. I always knew she was difficult but

when

> that is all you know, it just seems normal.

>

> I went to counseling for about a year and my parents also agreed to

> joint counseling with my brother and I but confronting them seemed

to

> make the whole thing worse so we stopped. Essentially, my brother

who

> took his life was my mom's black sheep and when he passed away, she

> quickly converted me to that role. My parents have gone around to

all

> my relatives and told them that I too am depressed like my brother

who

> killed himself and that is why I won't see them - their concern

kills

> me. Pardon the pun.

>

> I continue to struggle with any decision to have contact with my

> parents. My parents invited us to join a family get together

tomorrow

> but I really don't want to go. She has made sure to lure me in by

> letting me know that my brother and his family as well as my sil

and

> her kids will be there. It would be great to see my sibling and

thier

> families but I have no desire to see her or celebrate her lack of

> parenting this weekend. Like many of you, mother's day is a tough

one

> to swallow.

>

> Thanks for sharing and I look forward to now joining in with some

of

> your discussions.

>

> Sincerely,

> " A glace "

>

[Guest guest]

Hi again!

Thanks Kerrie and for the notes. Does everyone put their

name on? My nada is very computer savvy. I wouldn't put it past her

to go looking for an entry from me on one of these sites. Probably

sounds paranoid. Maybe with time I will come to the point where I

will be comfortable including my name.

I like how you said that the mental illness and codependency have

contributed to my brother's suicide. I fully believe the final act

was my brother's decision alone but I definitely feel that my nada's

bpd and dysfunctionality of my entire FOO led to such isolation for

my oldest brother that he had no one to turn to when he really needed

help. I am working on forgiving myself for the role I had in that

and forgiving all of us in my FOO but it has been and continues to be

a long road. I think that is part of my struggle as well as my

husband's with NC/RC. I want to make sure I am not confusing my

anger from the suicide fall out with how I move forward in dealing

with her bpd behaviors.

Thanks!!

> >

> > Hi

> >

> > My mom is bpd and dad is classic co-dependent/npd. I am a 38yo

mom

> of

> > 3 young kids with a loving husband who is supportive but has a

hard

> > time supporting my decision to go nc/very lc with my parents.

> >

> > I have been reading entries on this site for awhile with such a

> relief

> > to know there are others going through the same things. As most

of

> you

> > know, people who have not experienced a parental relationship

that

> is

> > like parenting your parent have a hard time understanding what

you

> are

> > going through which is a very alienating experience. There are

> only a

> > few people outside of this site that I can talk to about my

> > relationship with my parents.

> >

> > I came to realize my mom has bpd about 2 years ago following the

> > suicide of my brother and the aftermath of that. My mom was

acting

> > unusually odd following my brothers death and as a result of my

> > limiting contact with her, she made a suicide threat to me that

she

> > denied when I called my dad with the concern I had for her well

> being.

> > A physician friend led me to look into the possibility that my

mom

> has

> > bpd. I about fell off the chair when I read the DSM criteria as

> most

> > of them fit my mom exactly. I always knew she was difficult but

> when

> > that is all you know, it just seems normal.

> >

> > I went to counseling for about a year and my parents also agreed

to

> > joint counseling with my brother and I but confronting them

seemed

> to

> > make the whole thing worse so we stopped. Essentially, my brother

> who

> > took his life was my mom's black sheep and when he passed away,

she

> > quickly converted me to that role. My parents have gone around

to

> all

> > my relatives and told them that I too am depressed like my

brother

> who

> > killed himself and that is why I won't see them - their concern

> kills

> > me. Pardon the pun.

> >

> > I continue to struggle with any decision to have contact with my

> > parents. My parents invited us to join a family get together

> tomorrow

> > but I really don't want to go. She has made sure to lure me in

by

> > letting me know that my brother and his family as well as my sil

> and

> > her kids will be there. It would be great to see my sibling and

> thier

> > families but I have no desire to see her or celebrate her lack of

> > parenting this weekend. Like many of you, mother's day is a

tough

> one

> > to swallow.

> >

> > Thanks for sharing and I look forward to now joining in with some

> of

> > your discussions.

> >

> > Sincerely,

> > " A glace "

> >

>

[Guest guest]

--- I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I don't

blame you in not wanting to go to family functions. I hope you find

some healing soon.

H

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " patinage4me "

wrote:

>

> Hi

>

> My mom is bpd and dad is classic co-dependent/npd. I am a 38yo mom

of

> 3 young kids with a loving husband who is supportive but has a hard

> time supporting my decision to go nc/very lc with my parents.

>

> I have been reading entries on this site for awhile with such a

relief

> to know there are others going through the same things. As most of

you

> know, people who have not experienced a parental relationship that

is

> like parenting your parent have a hard time understanding what you

are

> going through which is a very alienating experience. There are

only a

> few people outside of this site that I can talk to about my

> relationship with my parents.

>

> I came to realize my mom has bpd about 2 years ago following the

> suicide of my brother and the aftermath of that. My mom was acting

> unusually odd following my brothers death and as a result of my

> limiting contact with her, she made a suicide threat to me that she

> denied when I called my dad with the concern I had for her well

being.

> A physician friend led me to look into the possibility that my mom

has

> bpd. I about fell off the chair when I read the DSM criteria as

most

> of them fit my mom exactly. I always knew she was difficult but

when

> that is all you know, it just seems normal.

>

> I went to counseling for about a year and my parents also agreed to

> joint counseling with my brother and I but confronting them seemed

to

> make the whole thing worse so we stopped. Essentially, my brother

who

> took his life was my mom's black sheep and when he passed away, she

> quickly converted me to that role. My parents have gone around to

all

> my relatives and told them that I too am depressed like my brother

who

> killed himself and that is why I won't see them - their concern

kills

> me. Pardon the pun.

>

> I continue to struggle with any decision to have contact with my

> parents. My parents invited us to join a family get together

tomorrow

> but I really don't want to go. She has made sure to lure me in by

> letting me know that my brother and his family as well as my sil

and

> her kids will be there. It would be great to see my sibling and

thier

> families but I have no desire to see her or celebrate her lack of

> parenting this weekend. Like many of you, mother's day is a tough

one

> to swallow.

>

> Thanks for sharing and I look forward to now joining in with some

of

> your discussions.

>

> Sincerely,

> " A glace "

>