Re: Out of control

[Guest guest]

You mean to tell me that all those Dr's and police have been involved and no one

has seen fit to " keep " him in a psych ward??? Isn't there some why to get

Grandpa right out of all this?

Just what everyone needs hey?

Gloria

________________________________

My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his who

still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to hospitals

(almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to him but he is

very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson homeless since the

grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and chaos.....grandson calls

the police....tells them he can't stand it any more....they take him to

hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant floor.....then released and

it starts all over again. I try to have serenity and work the program but get

calls from my grandfather that the police arrived and are tracking my AS in the

woods with dogs as he must have called them after being drunk and jumping out of

the way of an oncoming train! He was injured and the police took him to the

hospital and now he is in for 3 days and will be released again.

I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of the

drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

type of situation?

[Guest guest]

Ralph, I am so very sorry for all you are going through with your son. I do

not have children, so cannot say I undersand but I do sympathize. As for

the grandfather, unfortunately there is little you can do to help since he

refuses to allow his grandson to suffer the consequences of his actions and

has apparently been doing so for some time. I am so sorry that he is

elderly and has to endure this, but truthfully, he is the only one who can

put a stop to it. Perhaps the only way you could effectively intervene is

to have the grandfather declared mentally incompetent himself and maybe a

judge would make it illegal for the grandson to have contact with him. I

sense that is not something you are willing to do.

As for your son, when he is hospitalized and they get his ammonia levels

down, they have no medical reason to continue to treat him, so therefore

release him. Unfortunately, alcoholism is not considered a mental disorder

so they cannot confine him in the psych unit indeterminately. It seems you

have a grip on the fact that your son seems hell bent on self destruction.

In my life experience, I have found that people with a mindset to destroy

themselves will find a way to do so. Unfortunately, they take along those

who love them for the horrendous roller coaster ride to their grave.

I fear there is little you can for your adult son or for his grandfather but

love and pray for them. We cannot force our wills on other adults, no

matter how wrong we know they are. I am so sorry for the pain this is

causing you, your grandfather and most of all, your son. I am so sad that

he can't find the strength to stop drinking and to stop putting those who

love him through all of this. I fear he is suffering the most of all and

that is the root of the entire problem.

Please know I am praying for all of you. My heart is broken for you.

Many hugs................

Di

>

>

> My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his

> who still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to

> hospitals (almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to

> him but he is very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson

> homeless since the grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and

> chaos.....grandson calls the police....tells them he can't stand it any

> more....they take him to hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant

> floor.....then released and it starts all over again. I try to have serenity

> and work the program but get calls from my grandfather that the police

> arrived and are tracking my AS in the woods with dogs as he must have called

> them after being drunk and jumping out of the way of an oncoming train! He

> was injured and the police took him to the hospital and now he is in for 3

> days and will be released again.

> I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

> tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of

> the drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

> jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

> type of situation?

>

>

>

--

Warm Hugs..........

Di

http://auntdisexperimentallife.blogspot.com

[Guest guest]

Hi, Ralph. I did have to deal with a slightly similar situation. I was the

enabler, and very alcoholic at the time as well. She was my best friend. I had

met her at work, and we were both gardeners for Denver city and county parks. In

the short of it, after 3 years of struggle living on her own, she moved in to my

backyard camper, and when she received disability, we found her a small

apartment. She only lived there for three months, and went to the hospital for

an extended stay, and then to a skilled nursing facility, and then to a hospice

for only 4 days. She died on the fourth day, a Thursday morning at 1:00 am

sharp. It was raining...

During all but the hospice, she could go in to a hepatic rage at any time. It

was very very unpredictable. I was amazed that from hospital staff all the way

to hospice, health workers from doctors all the way to certified nursing

assistants were not aware of why this woman acted the way she did. One time, she

actually acted like a witch, only her tone was that of a little girl, and I saw

that her mentality had actually reverted to childhood that afternoon. I did my

best to go along with whatever charade was playing out in her cerebelum, but it

was never easy. To go against the flow almost always ended up very very badly.

Encephalopathy when mixed with alcohol intoxication is a horrible brew of

whirling crap. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about this. Liver

encephalopathy is very common and I am now convinced that a large number of

outlandish crimes are a result of it. I have even seen on cops on TV scenes

where it was only obvious that they were arresting some withn a swollen belly,

who was cursing them, and cating drunk, but the family reported no alcohol

consumption what so ever.

I have no advice to give. Your AS is on the fast road to the other side. I am

very very sorry. Jaundice at this stage is a very very serious sign.

I am recovering and approaching my 4th birthday. I take a max dose of lactulose

every day, and still every day is a struggle to stay in reality. Sometimes I

have to surrender because the evidence is overwhelming that I actually did what

my wife says I did. It is very very strange. I am sometimes afraid for her. She

knows when to call for help... I hope. Good luck Ralph. My story if it helps you

at all is here-

http://onethreezeroonethree.blogspot.com

Bobby

" I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you come

back. "

Mackensie

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 9:13:47 AM

Subject: Out of control

My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his who

still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to hospitals

(almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to him but he is

very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson homeless since the

grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and chaos.....grandson calls

the police....tells them he can't stand it any more....they take him to

hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant floor.....then released and

it starts all over again. I try to have serenity and work the program but get

calls from my grandfather that the police arrived and are tracking my AS in the

woods with dogs as he must have called them after being drunk and jumping out of

the way of an oncoming train! He was injured and the police took him to the

hospital and now he is in for 3 days and will be released again.

I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of the

drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

type of situation?

[Guest guest]

Bobby

 

Your last paragraph hit home.  Thank you.  I am so terribly sared to go thru

this alone....

Thanks for this day and for my tomorrows .

 

Love, Lyncia 

 

 

Subject: Re: Out of control

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Saturday, May 22, 2010, 4:21 PM

 

Hi, Ralph. I did have to deal with a slightly similar situation. I was the

enabler, and very alcoholic at the time as well. She was my best friend. I had

met her at work, and we were both gardeners for Denver city and county parks. In

the short of it, after 3 years of struggle living on her own, she moved in to my

backyard camper, and when she received disability, we found her a small

apartment. She only lived there for three months, and went to the hospital for

an extended stay, and then to a skilled nursing facility, and then to a hospice

for only 4 days. She died on the fourth day, a Thursday morning at 1:00 am

sharp. It was raining...

During all but the hospice, she could go in to a hepatic rage at any time. It

was very very unpredictable. I was amazed that from hospital staff all the way

to hospice, health workers from doctors all the way to certified nursing

assistants were not aware of why this woman acted the way she did. One time, she

actually acted like a witch, only her tone was that of a little girl, and I saw

that her mentality had actually reverted to childhood that afternoon. I did my

best to go along with whatever charade was playing out in her cerebelum, but it

was never easy. To go against the flow almost always ended up very very badly.

Encephalopathy when mixed with alcohol intoxication is a horrible brew of

whirling crap. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about this. Liver

encephalopathy is very common and I am now convinced that a large number of

outlandish crimes are a result of it. I have even seen on cops on TV scenes

where it was only obvious that they were arresting some withn a swollen belly,

who was cursing them, and cating drunk, but the family reported no alcohol

consumption what so ever.

I have no advice to give. Your AS is on the fast road to the other side. I am

very very sorry. Jaundice at this stage is a very very serious sign.

I am recovering and approaching my 4th birthday. I take a max dose of lactulose

every day, and still every day is a struggle to stay in reality. Sometimes I

have to surrender because the evidence is overwhelming that I actually did what

my wife says I did. It is very very strange. I am sometimes afraid for her. She

knows when to call for help... I hope. Good luck Ralph. My story if it helps you

at all is here-

http://onethreezeroonethree.blogspot.com

Bobby

" I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you come

back. "

Mackensie

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 9:13:47 AM

Subject: Out of control

My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his who

still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to hospitals

(almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to him but he is

very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson homeless since the

grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and chaos.....grandson calls

the police....tells them he can't stand it any more....they take him to

hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant floor.....then released and

it starts all over again. I try to have serenity and work the program but get

calls from my grandfather that the police arrived and are tracking my AS in the

woods with dogs as he must have called them after being drunk and jumping out of

the way of an oncoming train! He was injured and the police took him to the

hospital and now he is in for 3 days and will be released again.

I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of the

drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

type of situation?

[Guest guest]

Hun, we keep telling you that you are not alone. You have a huge family here in

the computer whom love you and pay attention to everything you say. We are

overjoyed by your recent ssdi victory. You need a dark chocolate shake. Is there

any way you can go find one? My daughter took me to see Fiddler on the roof on

Wednesday, and it was magical. We had not really talked for two whole years.

Love, and a big big hug, Bobby

" I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you come

back. "

Mackensie

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 3:27:28 PM

Subject: Re: Out of control

Bobby

Your last paragraph hit home. Thank you. I am so terribly sared to go thru

this alone....

Thanks for this day and for my tomorrows .

Love, Lyncia

Subject: Re: Out of control

To: livercirrhosissupport

Date: Saturday, May 22, 2010, 4:21 PM

Hi, Ralph. I did have to deal with a slightly similar situation. I was the

enabler, and very alcoholic at the time as well. She was my best friend. I had

met her at work, and we were both gardeners for Denver city and county parks. In

the short of it, after 3 years of struggle living on her own, she moved in to my

backyard camper, and when she received disability, we found her a small

apartment. She only lived there for three months, and went to the hospital for

an extended stay, and then to a skilled nursing facility, and then to a hospice

for only 4 days. She died on the fourth day, a Thursday morning at 1:00 am

sharp. It was raining...

During all but the hospice, she could go in to a hepatic rage at any time. It

was very very unpredictable. I was amazed that from hospital staff all the way

to hospice, health workers from doctors all the way to certified nursing

assistants were not aware of why this woman acted the way she did. One time, she

actually acted like a witch, only her tone was that of a little girl, and I saw

that her mentality had actually reverted to childhood that afternoon. I did my

best to go along with whatever charade was playing out in her cerebelum, but it

was never easy. To go against the flow almost always ended up very very badly.

Encephalopathy when mixed with alcohol intoxication is a horrible brew of

whirling crap. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about this. Liver

encephalopathy is very common and I am now convinced that a large number of

outlandish crimes are a result of it. I have even seen on cops on TV scenes

where it was only obvious that they were arresting some withn a swollen belly,

who was cursing them, and cating drunk, but the family reported no alcohol

consumption what so ever.

I have no advice to give. Your AS is on the fast road to the other side. I am

very very sorry. Jaundice at this stage is a very very serious sign.

I am recovering and approaching my 4th birthday. I take a max dose of lactulose

every day, and still every day is a struggle to stay in reality. Sometimes I

have to surrender because the evidence is overwhelming that I actually did what

my wife says I did. It is very very strange. I am sometimes afraid for her. She

knows when to call for help... I hope. Good luck Ralph. My story if it helps you

at all is here-

http://onethreezeroonethree.blogspot.com

Bobby

" I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you come

back. "

Mackensie

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 9:13:47 AM

Subject: Out of control

My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his who

still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to hospitals

(almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to him but he is

very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson homeless since the

grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and chaos.....grandson calls

the police....tells them he can't stand it any more....they take him to

hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant floor.....then released and

it starts all over again. I try to have serenity and work the program but get

calls from my grandfather that the police arrived and are tracking my AS in the

woods with dogs as he must have called them after being drunk and jumping out of

the way of an oncoming train! He was injured and the police took him to the

hospital and now he is in for 3 days and will be released again.

I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of the

drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

type of situation?

[Guest guest]

Lyncia - Bobby is right, we are all here for you and so happy you got your

disability. Have you actually gotten any money yet, or just the

notification that you have been approved?

You know, depression in those of us who are prone to it comes at the

weirdest times. You would think that you would be flying high after getting

your disability, and I am sure you did for a while after finding out. But

our lives are such a rollercoaster that after we get over one hurdle, fairly

soon we have to get over another. We can keep going when we are fighting

for something, but when we win, then we drop down. When I had depression

problems, they would go away sooner or later when I found something else I

had to fight for. Or, at times something enjoyable to do. I dont't

remember how old you are, but some Senior Centers are open to people 55 and

over. In this weird town where I live, it is open to anyone who wants to

pay $5 a year for membership, or just walk in and participate in the

activities as long as it doesn't involve a holiday meal. Non members have

to pay $5.00 for those. That is how I joined, rather than pay $5.00 each

for three or more holiday meals, I bought a membership for $5.00 I was about

50 years old then. I know with your health problems, you probably dont feel

much like doing anything for too long a time, but there are things out there

you can do for short times. They take your mind off your medical problems,

get some adrenaline going and for a while after the activity is over, the

adrenaline is still going. You may even find someone who is willing to be

there for you when you just have to have someone to talk to, a face to look

at, not a computer screen which takes a while before you get an answer.

Someone who can give physical hugs, and not just smiley face or word ones.

Many times I wish they had a place we could all go and live together so we

felt understood, needed and cared for.

Do they have any activities where you are living? I know you just recently

moved. I know it is hard to get up and go when you are in a depression, but

if you can manage it, it might help. I have had trouble with depression

most of my life. The first step for me in getting out of it was when I was

going to voluntarily commitment myself for treatment in a state

institution. I was dropped off by my brother in law who couldn't stay

very long. I saw no one for about two hours except an occassional patient

walking around. The staff was all in a protest meeting about the conditions

there. And just sitting there waiting, I could see they were bad, needed

painting and repair, new furniture. I decided I could handle it better at

home than in that depressing place. And I did start handling it. But what

really turned the corner was when I started to going back to church, going

to Bible Studies. I still get mad, frustrated, short periods of depression

but they don't last. Even when my body feels depressed, if I can find

something to do,, something good to think about, I pray you can find the

same thing. Love you. Jan H

On Sat, May 22, 2010 at 2:43 PM, Bob Aragon wrote:

> Hun, we keep telling you that you are not alone. You have a huge family

> here in the computer whom love you and pay attention to everything you say.

> We are overjoyed by your recent ssdi victory. You need a dark chocolate

> shake. Is there any way you can go find one? My daughter took me to see

> Fiddler on the roof on Wednesday, and it was magical. We had not really

> talked for two whole years. Love, and a big big hug, Bobby

>

> " I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you

> come back. "

> Mackensie

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 3:27:28 PM

> Subject: Re: Out of control

>

>

> Bobby

>

> Your last paragraph hit home. Thank you. I am so terribly sared to go

> thru this alone....

>

> Thanks for this day and for my tomorrows .

>

> Love, Lyncia

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: Out of control

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Date: Saturday, May 22, 2010, 4:21 PM

>

>

>

> Hi, Ralph. I did have to deal with a slightly similar situation. I was the

> enabler, and very alcoholic at the time as well. She was my best friend. I

> had met her at work, and we were both gardeners for Denver city and county

> parks. In the short of it, after 3 years of struggle living on her own, she

> moved in to my backyard camper, and when she received disability, we found

> her a small apartment. She only lived there for three months, and went to

> the hospital for an extended stay, and then to a skilled nursing facility,

> and then to a hospice for only 4 days. She died on the fourth day, a

> Thursday morning at 1:00 am sharp. It was raining...

>

> During all but the hospice, she could go in to a hepatic rage at any time.

> It was very very unpredictable. I was amazed that from hospital staff all

> the way to hospice, health workers from doctors all the way to certified

> nursing assistants were not aware of why this woman acted the way she did.

> One time, she actually acted like a witch, only her tone was that of a

> little girl, and I saw that her mentality had actually reverted to childhood

> that afternoon. I did my best to go along with whatever charade was playing

> out in her cerebelum, but it was never easy. To go against the flow almost

> always ended up very very badly.

> Encephalopathy when mixed with alcohol intoxication is a horrible brew of

> whirling crap. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about this. Liver

> encephalopathy is very common and I am now convinced that a large number of

> outlandish crimes are a result of it. I have even seen on cops on TV scenes

> where it was only obvious that they were arresting some withn a swollen

> belly, who was cursing them, and cating drunk, but the family reported no

> alcohol consumption what so ever.

> I have no advice to give. Your AS is on the fast road to the other side. I

> am very very sorry. Jaundice at this stage is a very very serious sign.

> I am recovering and approaching my 4th birthday. I take a max dose of

> lactulose every day, and still every day is a struggle to stay in reality.

> Sometimes I have to surrender because the evidence is overwhelming that I

> actually did what my wife says I did. It is very very strange. I am

> sometimes afraid for her. She knows when to call for help... I hope. Good

> luck Ralph. My story if it helps you at all is here-

>

> http://onethreezeroonethree.blogspot.com

>

> Bobby

>

> " I will meet your judgement and distance with love and open arms when you

> come back. "

> Mackensie

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 9:13:47 AM

> Subject: Out of control

>

> My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his

> who still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to

> hospitals (almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to

> him but he is very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson

> homeless since the grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and

> chaos.....grandson calls the police....tells them he can't stand it any

> more....they take him to hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant

> floor.....then released and it starts all over again. I try to have serenity

> and work the program but get calls from my grandfather that the police

> arrived and are tracking my AS in the woods with dogs as he must have called

> them after being drunk and jumping out of the way of an oncoming train! He

> was injured and the police took him to the hospital and now he is in for 3

> days and will be released again.

> I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

> tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of

> the drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

> jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

> type of situation?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Here in Ohio,when the police pick up someone and feel he is s threat to

himself..they can take him to the psych ward for a mandatory 72 hour stay.

 That's pretty much all they can do on their end. They're not psychiatrists

 Grandpa could file a restraining order against him not allowing him to come to

his home.  It's a difficut situation  because he is an adult.

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sat, May 22, 2010 2:41:33 PM

Subject: Re: Out of control

 

You mean to tell me that all those Dr's and police have been involved and no one

has seen fit to " keep " him in a psych ward??? Isn't there some why to get

Grandpa right out of all this?

Just what everyone needs hey?

Gloria

________________________________

My AS is out of control. Dying of cirrhosis. No job, only money from his who

still enables him. Grandfather gives him cash for taxi's to go to hospitals

(almost weekly), court, pays his fines. I have tried talking to him but he is

very elderly and can't stand to see his adult grandson homeless since the

grandson lives with him. There is constant drama and chaos.....grandson calls

the police....tells them he can't stand it any more....they take him to

hospital....goes on psych ward or liver transplant floor.....then released and

it starts all over again. I try to have serenity and work the program but get

calls from my grandfather that the police arrived and are tracking my AS in the

woods with dogs as he must have called them after being drunk and jumping out of

the way of an oncoming train! He was injured and the police took him to the

hospital and now he is in for 3 days and will be released again.

I am afraid my fragile grandfather will be injured during one of my AS'

tirades. He was been taken off the transplant list a year ago because of the

drinking and is more out of control than ever. He in liver failure, very

jaundiced, and probably has encephalopathy. Has anyone had to deal with this

type of situation?