Re: Support

[Guest guest]

Gloria, I'm sorry it has come to this, but I know you have to have some

peace in your life. I applaud you for knowing what you can and cannot deal

with and for making the decisions necessary in order to take care of

yourself. I too wish I were nearer you so I could be more helpful than just

encouraging words on a computer screen! You hang in there, we're all here

for and with you and we're praying! Love you much!!!!

Many hugs.............

Di

>

>

>

> Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive

> and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish

> that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and

> understanding wings.

>

> Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over

> 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> responsibility!!! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a

> week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple

> of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd had

> enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce

> that he must leave this home!!

>

> I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

> feeling???

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughters mother is in ICU.  Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up the

alcohol.  Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof.  She had a

seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a lot of

blood when her husband found her unconscious.  I though it might be a

busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it. 

My daughter called me yesterday so upset.  I feel so bad for her.  She has

both parents with ESLD.  They had her first in the trauma center and moved her

to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff.  I think she will make it,

but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she would pull through

this go round.  If she keeps drinking I see little hope for her lasting long. 

Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me in before this

does.   

 Dave

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

Subject: Support

 

Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive and

caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish that you

all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and understanding

wings.

Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over 20

years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a week

home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light fandango!!! He

started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I reacted, for which I'm

sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad because it solidified my

feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple of days and I had some

thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just calmly told him not to consider

himself married any longer and that I'd had enough of his self-centred bull...

Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce that he must leave this home!!

I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

feeling???

[Guest guest]

Dave - I too want to die before the ESLD gets to a point where I can't

handle it myself. I don't think that is being negative. I don't want the

people around me to have to take care of me, and from what I have learned

here, I don't want to go through myself what so many people have. I have

other potentially fatal medical problems, heart and kidneys, so why can't

one of those take me first. My preference is a heart attack while I am

sleeping. I just hope I have a smile on my face. [?]

[?]hugs to you and your daughter. Could she come and live with you, sounds

like a more stable place for her than with her mother. Praying for all

of you. Jan H

> My daughters mother is in ICU. Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> the alcohol. Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof. She had a

> seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a lot

> of blood when her husband found her unconscious. I though it might be a

> busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> My daughter called me yesterday so upset. I feel so bad for her. She has

> both parents with ESLD. They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff. I think she will

> make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she would

> pull through this go round. If she keeps drinking I see little hope for her

> lasting long. Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> in before this does.

> Dave

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> Subject: Support

>

>

>

> Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive

> and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish

> that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and

> understanding wings.

>

> Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over

> 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a

> week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple

> of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd had

> enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce

> that he must leave this home!!

>

> I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

> feeling???

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dave, I am so sorry to hear this. Please know I am praying for your

daughter and for her mother. I am so sad that her mother can't find the

motivation to stop drinking and I am sad that your daughter has to go

through all of this. My heart and my prayers are with you all.

Many hugs..............

Di

>

>

> My daughters mother is in ICU. Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> the alcohol. Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof. She had a

> seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a lot

> of blood when her husband found her unconscious. I though it might be a

> busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> My daughter called me yesterday so upset. I feel so bad for her. She has

> both parents with ESLD. They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff. I think she will

> make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she would

> pull through this go round. If she keeps drinking I see little hope for her

> lasting long. Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> in before this does.

> Dave

>

> ________________________________

> From: Gloria <gadamscan@... <gadamscan%40yahoo.ca>>

> To:

livercirrhosissupport <livercirrhosissupport%40yahoogroups.com>

> Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> Subject: Support

>

>

>

> Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive

> and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish

> that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and

> understanding wings.

>

> Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over

> 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a

> week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple

> of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd had

> enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce

> that he must leave this home!!

>

> I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

> feeling???

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jan..I kind of think that is the universal feeling amongst people with

cirrhosis...before I knew I had it, I had zero idea how bad the end of this

disease can become..the body literally poisoning itself.  My daughter doesn't

live with her mom.  She is all grown up, but lives in the same city with

her.  Her mother and her have always had a very conflicted relationship.  It

was so much so that I raised her from the age of 4.  She is now 30 with a

beautiful lil' boy soon to be 3.  Her mother is the literal cat with 9 lives I

think.  My daughter just called and said they have moved her out of ICU. 

Apparently she had a mild heart attach, has suffered from seizures for a time,

aggravated by drinking, and other issues.  They say she was not on a strong

enough anti-seizure med.  My daughter said she was back to barking orders, her

old self.  In a few days she'll be out, and likely looking for a way to get

some alcohol.  She is very adapt in

the process of procuring it and hiding it.  I just go under the assumption

that she is constantly under the influence, and am likely more often correct as

not, I am sorry to say.  She continues to throw as many toxic substances as she

can find into her body.  I hope for her recovery, but she does lack the ability

to be honest enough or,as Diane said,find the reason strong enough to make her

chose sobriety.  I pray for her, but am much more concerned with the effect

this all has on my lil' girl.  Her family are supreme enablers also.  Enough

of taking her inventory, just blowing some stem.  Thank you so much for

responding Jan..peace out, Dave

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Mon, April 26, 2010 1:53:10 PM

Subject: Re: Support

 

Dave - I too want to die before the ESLD gets to a point where I can't

handle it myself. I don't think that is being negative. I don't want the

people around me to have to take care of me, and from what I have learned

here, I don't want to go through myself what so many people have. I have

other potentially fatal medical problems, heart and kidneys, so why can't

one of those take me first. My preference is a heart attack while I am

sleeping. I just hope I have a smile on my face. [?]

[?]hugs to you and your daughter. Could she come and live with you, sounds

like a more stable place for her than with her mother. Praying for all

of you. Jan H

On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM, dave dodds <daveliltoeyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

> My daughters mother is in ICU. Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> the alcohol. Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof. She had a

> seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a lot

> of blood when her husband found her unconscious. I though it might be a

> busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> My daughter called me yesterday so upset. I feel so bad for her. She has

> both parents with ESLD. They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff. I think she will

> make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she would

> pull through this go round. If she keeps drinking I see little hope for her

> lasting long. Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> in before this does.

> Dave

>

>

>

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> Subject: Support

>

>

>

> Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive

> and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish

> that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and

> understanding wings.

>

> Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over

> 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a

> week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple

> of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd had

> enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce

> that he must leave this home!!

>

> I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

> feeling???

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Diane for your prayers and support.  I guess no one is beyond help,

but she sure seems to be in that space.  love, Dave

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Mon, April 26, 2010 8:10:57 PM

Subject: Re: Support

Dave, I am so sorry to hear this.  Please know I am praying for your

daughter and for her mother.  I am so sad that her mother can't find the

motivation to stop drinking and I am sad that your daughter has to go

through all of this.  My heart and my prayers are with you all.

Many hugs..............

Di

>

>

> My daughters mother is in ICU.  Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> the alcohol.  Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof.  She had a

> seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a lot

> of blood when her husband found her unconscious.  I though it might be a

> busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> My daughter called me yesterday so upset.  I feel so bad for her.  She has

> both parents with ESLD.  They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff.  I think she will

> make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she would

> pull through this go round.  If she keeps drinking I see little hope for her

> lasting long.  Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> in before this does.

>  Dave

>

> ________________________________

> From: Gloria <gadamscan@... <gadamscan%40yahoo.ca>>

> To:

livercirrhosissupport <livercirrhosissupport%40yahoogroups.com>

> Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> Subject: Support

>

>

>

> Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo supportive

> and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only wish

> that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving and

> understanding wings.

>

> Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for over

> 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than a

> week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a couple

> of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd had

> enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't enforce

> that he must leave this home!!

>

> I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed from

> feeling???

>

>

[Guest guest]

As much as we would like to believe all people are rescuable, the simple

truth is that some are not. It is a part of us to want to 'save' those whom

we love or who affect the lives of those we love. Realizing that is not

always achievable is always a hard pill to swallow. Love is hard, whether

it's a spouse, a child, a sibling or a friend.................

Many hugs...............

Di

>

>

> Thanks Jan..I kind of think that is the universal feeling amongst people

> with cirrhosis...before I knew I had it, I had zero idea how bad the end of

> this disease can become..the body literally poisoning itself. My daughter

> doesn't live with her mom. She is all grown up, but lives in the same city

> with her. Her mother and her have always had a very conflicted

> relationship. It was so much so that I raised her from the age of 4. She

> is now 30 with a beautiful lil' boy soon to be 3. Her mother is the literal

> cat with 9 lives I think. My daughter just called and said they have moved

> her out of ICU. Apparently she had a mild heart attach, has suffered from

> seizures for a time, aggravated by drinking, and other issues. They say she

> was not on a strong enough anti-seizure med. My daughter said she was back

> to barking orders, her old self. In a few days she'll be out, and likely

> looking for a way to get some alcohol. She is very adapt in

> the process of procuring it and hiding it. I just go under the assumption

> that she is constantly under the influence, and am likely more often correct

> as not, I am sorry to say. She continues to throw as many toxic substances

> as she can find into her body. I hope for her recovery, but she does lack

> the ability to be honest enough or,as Diane said,find the reason strong

> enough to make her chose sobriety. I pray for her, but am much more

> concerned with the effect this all has on my lil' girl. Her family are

> supreme enablers also. Enough of taking her inventory, just blowing some

> stem. Thank you so much for responding Jan..peace out, Dave

>

> ________________________________

> From: Jan Holman <janholman@... <janholman%40gmail.com>>

> To:

livercirrhosissupport <livercirrhosissupport%40yahoogroups.com>

> Sent: Mon, April 26, 2010 1:53:10 PM

> Subject: Re: Support

>

>

> Dave - I too want to die before the ESLD gets to a point where I can't

> handle it myself. I don't think that is being negative. I don't want the

> people around me to have to take care of me, and from what I have learned

> here, I don't want to go through myself what so many people have. I have

> other potentially fatal medical problems, heart and kidneys, so why can't

> one of those take me first. My preference is a heart attack while I am

> sleeping. I just hope I have a smile on my face. [?]

> [?]hugs to you and your daughter. Could she come and live with you, sounds

> like a more stable place for her than with her mother. Praying for all

> of you. Jan H

>

> On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM, dave dodds <daveliltoeyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

>

> > My daughters mother is in ICU. Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> > the alcohol. Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof. She had

> a

> > seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a

> lot

> > of blood when her husband found her unconscious. I though it might be a

> > busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> > My daughter called me yesterday so upset. I feel so bad for her. She has

> > both parents with ESLD. They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> > her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff. I think she will

> > make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she

> would

> > pull through this go round. If she keeps drinking I see little hope for

> her

> > lasting long. Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> > in before this does.

> > Dave

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ____________ _________ _________ __

> > From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca>

> > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> > Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> > Subject: Support

> >

> >

> >

> > Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo

> supportive

> > and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only

> wish

> > that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving

> and

> > understanding wings.

> >

> > Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for

> over

> > 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> > responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than

> a

> > week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> > fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> > reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> > because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a

> couple

> > of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> > calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd

> had

> > enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't

> enforce

> > that he must leave this home!!

> >

> > I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed

> from

> > feeling???

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dave - around the time that I was told I had 2 to 3 years to live, my three

younger kids also found out that after a number of heart attacks and

strokes, their dad was having little heart attacks and strokes all the

time. I felt guilty for leaving my kids with this problem, both parents at

risk of dying. And their only living grandparent isn't in the best of

health either. It sounds as if your daughter is you only child. I hope you

have other family she can feel connected to when she is left alone, I am

right that you don't qualify for a transplant right? I know that my kids

will be close and take care of each other even through they live in three

different states more than 2,000 miles apart at the longest. I agree with

you. The person to be the most concerned about right now is your daughter.

Her mother is making decisions which affect your daughter's life and she

just has to learn to live with it. One thing I did after I found out about

my life expectancy was to end every phone call and visit by telling them I

loved them and to give the grandchildren a hug from me. Amazingly, my

relationships with my oldest daughter and youngest son have improved. I am

sure you daughter appreciates knowing you are there for her if for no other

reason than to listen to her. Jan H

> Thanks Jan..I kind of think that is the universal feeling amongst people

> with cirrhosis...before I knew I had it, I had zero idea how bad the end of

> this disease can become..the body literally poisoning itself. My daughter

> doesn't live with her mom. She is all grown up, but lives in the same city

> with her. Her mother and her have always had a very conflicted

> relationship. It was so much so that I raised her from the age of 4. She

> is now 30 with a beautiful lil' boy soon to be 3. Her mother is the literal

> cat with 9 lives I think. My daughter just called and said they have moved

> her out of ICU. Apparently she had a mild heart attach, has suffered from

> seizures for a time, aggravated by drinking, and other issues. They say she

> was not on a strong enough anti-seizure med. My daughter said she was back

> to barking orders, her old self. In a few days she'll be out, and likely

> looking for a way to get some alcohol. She is very adapt in

> the process of procuring it and hiding it. I just go under the assumption

> that she is constantly under the influence, and am likely more often correct

> as not, I am sorry to say. She continues to throw as many toxic substances

> as she can find into her body. I hope for her recovery, but she does lack

> the ability to be honest enough or,as Diane said,find the reason strong

> enough to make her chose sobriety. I pray for her, but am much more

> concerned with the effect this all has on my lil' girl. Her family are

> supreme enablers also. Enough of taking her inventory, just blowing some

> stem. Thank you so much for responding Jan..peace out, Dave

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: livercirrhosissupport

> Sent: Mon, April 26, 2010 1:53:10 PM

> Subject: Re: Support

>

>

> Dave - I too want to die before the ESLD gets to a point where I can't

> handle it myself. I don't think that is being negative. I don't want the

> people around me to have to take care of me, and from what I have learned

> here, I don't want to go through myself what so many people have. I have

> other potentially fatal medical problems, heart and kidneys, so why can't

> one of those take me first. My preference is a heart attack while I am

> sleeping. I just hope I have a smile on my face. [?]

> [?]hugs to you and your daughter. Could she come and live with you, sounds

> like a more stable place for her than with her mother. Praying for all

> of you. Jan H

>

> On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM, dave dodds <daveliltoeyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

>

> > My daughters mother is in ICU. Poor thing has ESLD, but will not give up

> > the alcohol. Apparently her ammonia levels are through the roof. She had

> a

> > seizure and passed out banging her head, and I guess there was quite a

> lot

> > of blood when her husband found her unconscious. I though it might be a

> > busted varcies, but the blood was from hitting her head and cutting it.

> > My daughter called me yesterday so upset. I feel so bad for her. She has

> > both parents with ESLD. They had her first in the trauma center and moved

> > her to ICU...she is concious, but talking crazy stuff. I think she will

> > make it, but yesterday the doc. said she could die, but he thought she

> would

> > pull through this go round. If she keeps drinking I see little hope for

> her

> > lasting long. Excuse my negativity, but I sure hope somthing else does me

> > in before this does.

> > Dave

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ____________ _________ _________ __

> > From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca>

> > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> > Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 9:12:33 PM

> > Subject: Support

> >

> >

> >

> > Again, I have to say that you ladies that are here and are soooo

> supportive

> > and caring about your husbands, brings tears to my eyes. I could only

> wish

> > that you all lived closer to me and that I could get under those loving

> and

> > understanding wings.

> >

> > Especially when it appears that the man I have been together with for

> over

> > 20 years, thinks it's wonderful that I let him out of his cold, unfeeling

> > responsibility! !! Only 18 days since major cancer surgery and less than

> a

> > week home from that and he almost appears to be skipping the light

> > fandango!!! He started one of his rages last Wednesday night and yup, I

> > reacted, for which I'm sorry now. However, on the other hand - I'm glad

> > because it solidified my feelings for him. He went away to work for a

> couple

> > of days and I had some thinking time. When he came in yesterday, I just

> > calmly told him not to consider himself married any longer and that I'd

> had

> > enough of his self-centred bull... Now I'm just sorry that I didn't

> enforce

> > that he must leave this home!!

> >

> > I simply can not figure out why any human being could be soooo removed

> from

> > feeling???

> >

> >