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Thank you to everyone for their suggestions for special diets I shall certainly

be looking into them.

Well I have just returned from my grandaughters first visit to a cognitive

behavioural therapist, which was arranged because of her reluctance to go to

school and her dislike of busy town centres.

I tried to explain to the therapist about C's dislike of chewing and crunching

noises which send her into inexplicable moods and rages.I said I had found this

site and it seemed that the growing number of members indicated that this

problem was widespread and could account for some of C's behavior. The therapist

had never heard of 4S or of using CBT for tinnitus training(which as I

understand may be of some help to sufferers with 4S).She explained that if we

are stressed and anxious we may have a heightened awareness of things going on

around

us and this may account for the extreme responses my grandaughter has.

I'm not sure I accept this as C has suffered with it at least from being 10yrs

old and I don't think she was stressed then.

Anyhow, she is going back next week to learn relaxation techniques.

Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Looking forward to some good results :) Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3Sender: Soundsensitivity Date: Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:34:38 -0000To: <Soundsensitivity >ReplyTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: re: CBT Thank you to everyone for their suggestions for special diets I shall certainly be looking into them.Well I have just returned from my grandaughters first visit to a cognitive behavioural therapist, which was arranged because of her reluctance to go to school and her dislike of busy town centres.I tried to explain to the therapist about C's dislike of chewing and crunching noises which send her into inexplicable moods and rages.I said I had found this site and it seemed that the growing number of members indicated that this problem was widespread and could account for some of C's behavior. The therapist had never heard of 4S or of using CBT for tinnitus training(which as I understand may be of some help to sufferers with 4S).She explained that if we are stressed and anxious we may have a heightened awareness of things going on around us and this may account for the extreme responses my grandaughter has.I'm not sure I accept this as C has suffered with it at least from being 10yrs old and I don't think she was stressed then.Anyhow, she is going back next week to learn relaxation techniques.Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • 7 months later...

Thanks for the link Darlene! That is some good advise there. I will miss the Cat if he leaves us permanently! It's really about about functioning in the present for that is the only part of life that you can have some effect on. Some part of life should be focused forward to achieve a good plan and some should be focused back so we can learn from our mistakes and successes. 4S tends to force us into the past of recurrent negative emotions revolving around our trigger sounds, which leads to more bad emotions. Breaking this cycle is the trick, but not an easy one to learn!JRSent from my iPad

I wanted to share a couple things. Dr. Nagler, in a less than nice fashion, asked a question about something someone said (though I don't see that thread anymore). Although it was a bit harsh, he was only trying to get us to think. Dr. Nagler mentioned the 10 Cognitive Distortions and I thought it might be good for everyone to read what they are. You will notice that they all stem from negative thinking. Take a look at this article and really think about your own mindset. Its 3 pages and a worthwhile read. You Are What You Think

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Thank you so much Darlene for posting that link. I read through the article and

printed it out so I can see it everyday. I have decided to make an effort to

change what I can, and the 10 cognitive distortions in that article are such a

great place to start.

a

PS I love people who try to stimulate intelligent thinking instead of

stimulating emotional thinking!

>

> I wanted to share a couple things. Dr. Nagler, in a less than nice

> fashion, asked a question about something someone said (though I don't

> see that thread anymore). Although it was a bit harsh, he was only

> trying to get us to think. Dr. Nagler mentioned the 10 Cognitive

> Distortions and I thought it might be good for everyone to read what

> they are. You will notice that they all stem from negative thinking.

> Take a look at this article and really think about your own mindset.

> Its 3 pages and a worthwhile read.

>

> You Are What You Think

> <http://depression.about.com/cs/psychotherapy/a/cognitive.htm>

>

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I would like to reply to the person who talked about PMS. I am new to this group

and have never used Yahoo groups, so I hope I'm replying to the right person. I

am 27 and I was recently diagnosed with PMDD, or Pre Menstrual Dysphoric

Disorder. I did not tell the doctor, naturally, about my aversion to chewing and

how much stress it causes me every day. However, I did research PMDD and I do

feel that I have it. I tried prozac for it, and it did not touch my 4S. I would

encourage you to look into this if you have other pms problems. I have also

tried Buspar and 5-HTP, none of which did anything for my 4S.

During PMS, your body creates more cortisol and other stress hormones,

so pretty much everything is more stressful during that time. I have the added

" benefit " (pun) of being an Iraq war veteran with PTSD. This could also be in a

factor in my PMDD, but probably not 4S.

> > >

> > > Thank you to everyone for their suggestions for special diets I

> > shall certainly be looking into them.

> > >

> > > Well I have just returned from my grandaughters first visit to a

> > cognitive behavioural therapist, which was arranged because of her

> > reluctance to go to school and her dislike of busy town centres.

> > > I tried to explain to the therapist about C's dislike of chewing

> > and crunching noises which send her into inexplicable moods and

> > rages.I said I had found this site and it seemed that the growing

> > number of members indicated that this problem was widespread and

> > could account for some of C's behavior. The therapist had never

> > heard of 4S or of using CBT for tinnitus training(which as I

> > understand may be of some help to sufferers with 4S).She explained

> > that if we are stressed and anxious we may have a heightened

> > awareness of things going on around

> > > us and this may account for the extreme responses my grandaughter

> > has.

> > > I'm not sure I accept this as C has suffered with it at least from

> > being 10yrs old and I don't think she was stressed then.

> > > Anyhow, she is going back next week to learn relaxation techniques.

> > > Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

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Lindsey, The 10 cognitive behaviors and negative thinking posts were not

intended to be mixed in with the thread on the child that has 4S. They were a

response to a different thread I believe.

>

> I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child

for thinking " too negatively. "

>

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Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)

I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)

My feelings come from my thoughts.

Therefore I can control my feelings.

The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?

I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.

Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.

Bless you all.

Kinsey's Mom, Deniese

PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful...

From: Rea

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 1:31 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Thank You! Maybe for being new to the information I'm over analyzing this and for now I should forget about the repetitive aspect and just get started on some form of CBT. Hopefully the library has a CBT for dummies book I can start with because until over the course of this past week I would not have been able to tell you what CBT even meant. I'll add control techniques to the list to investigate also. I have already printed a copy of the link Darlene posted. Thanks again for your thoughts and suggestions.> > > > > > >> > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old > >child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > >> > >> >>

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This is a part of the highly contested debate. Personally, I find that too much exposure to my trigger sounds can make me worse because I am in a constant state of stress, but trying to avoid my trigger sounds too much is also bad, because I need to be able to tolerate them too. If I am never around them, how can I work on tolerating them or becoming less bothered. I think it is really something the individual needs to decide. I have had a phobia, my own personal 4s seems to be a different kind of beast, although it can take on phobic proportions for some people. If you are having spikes of adrenalin like a fight or flight situation with your 4s, exposures like they do for phobias in a gradual systematic way might be helpful.From:

Rea To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 2:45:01 PMSubject: Re: CBT

Lindsey, one more thing on your last post where you said your husband thinks increased exposure to the noise will make it more managable. I read somewhere over the past week that there was therapy where you expose yourself to the noise and thought I had read that it has the opposite effect on 4S and actually makes it worse. That's probably why I don't remeber where I read it. Does someone in the group have any knowledge of this? I would think that increasing my exposure to my trigger noises would result in the end of the immediate area around me. I'm not sure about exposure as part of a therapy however. I definitley wouldn't try it without knowing in advance.

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Thanks ! Sounds like I need to educate myself on this and then put a plan

together on how to practice. I found out my next appointment which is with an

ENT is not until mid-April and I'm not waiting until then to try something.

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I really appreciate the feedback because you are making me think. Off the top

of my head, I think my intial reactions are actually wanting to physiclly harm

the source of the trigger similar to how a line backer wants to end the play as

quickly as possible. That is a very short lived reaction because obviously I do

not really want to harm anyone. It then leads to a longer lasting reaction of

how do I get out of here. So I guess I have a fight or flight reaction but

immediately rule out the fight as a vialble option and settle on flight. With

the dog toe nails at the house, I quickly reach for the remote control to turn

up the TV as loud as it will go until they are back outside again or my wife

puts them up in a different room of the house. As luck would have it, we got a

new TV during the Christmas sales this year and it takes what seems like three

times as long to turn the volume up so this year I have been experiencing anger

just because of this additional small amount of time that I am exposed to the

noise before the TV can drown it out.

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I can assure you that I do think it's all in our heads. However, I do believe that the more I talk to myself with positive statements during a trigger the more I can cope with the trigger. I cannot get rid of triggers but I can make life just a wee bit more bearable. HeidiSent from my iPhone

I was talking about the fact that 4S starts in childhood. I was not mixing the post with another person's post, I really mean that for the sake of all people who have this. I was a very positive-minded child.... the anxiety of 4S cannot be attributed to personal choice. That doctor is reducing his argument down to what every other doctor I've ever been to has: "It's all in your head."Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 9:01 AM

Lindsey, The 10 cognitive behaviors and negative thinking posts were not intended to be mixed in with the thread on the child that has 4S. They were a response to a different thread I believe.

>

> I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."

>

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You can assure me of what you believe; you can't assure me that it's all in my head.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 9:01 AM

Lindsey, The 10 cognitive behaviors and negative thinking posts were not intended to be mixed in with the thread on the child that has 4S. They were a response to a different thread I believe.

>

> I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."

>

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Somebody needs to prove to me that feelings cannot come from places other than thoughts.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 2:01 PM

Thanks ! Sounds like I need to educate myself on this and then put a plan together on how to practice. I found out my next appointment which is with an ENT is not until mid-April and I'm not waiting until then to try something.

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> > >child for thinking "too negatively."

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What if I argue that feelings can come from places OTHER THAN thoughts? Yes, anyone can control the feelings that come from thoughts, but what about the feelings that come from STIMULI other than thoughts?Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 12:58 PM

Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)

I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)

My feelings come from my thoughts.

Therefore I can control my feelings.

The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?

I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.

Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.

Bless you all.

Kinsey's Mom, Deniese

PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful...

From: Rea

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 1:31 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Thank You! Maybe for being new to the information I'm over analyzing this and for now I should forget about the repetitive aspect and just get started on some form of CBT. Hopefully the library has a CBT for dummies book I can start with because until over the course of this past week I would not have been able to tell you what CBT even meant. I'll add control techniques to the list to investigate also. I have already printed a copy of the link Darlene posted. Thanks again for your thoughts and suggestions.> > > > > > >> > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old > >child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > >> > >> >>

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Lindsey, I was the one who posted the link about the 10 cognitive distortions

and negative thinking. It was not meant to be mixed in with anything concerning

a child developing this. I was bringing up a point that Dr. Nagler mentioned

which you may or may not agree with.

You may not believe that thinking negatively has anything to do with this but I

do. I'm not saying that negative thinking 'caused' this. But having this

condition does make me more negative because I get sick of it. The point I was

trying to make, and to share what HAS HELPED ME is that constant negative

thinking can only make things WORSE.

Part of CBT 'is' facing your fears and exposing yourself to the sounds so that

you can try to teach your mind how to work through them. If you are not

interested in that it is your choice. I'm not saying this is all in your head

but simply giving ideas as to what can help. Sorry for any confusion.

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You are welcome a. I'm glad you printed it out... often times we read them

and then forget them too quickly. I have them printed out as well. Last year

when I started my journey of trying to change the way I think, I had NO IDEA how

conditioned my thoughts had become. Plus, I did a lot of those 10 cognitive

distortions listed. Until you really take a step back, observe your thoughts,

and really be honest with yourself, people really have no idea how their

thoughts 'can' impact their lives.

Doesn't 'cure' it... but for some, it can really help not only with 4S, but

other areas in life. I like what you said about " changing what I can " ... that's

what its all about. :)

> >

> > I wanted to share a couple things. Dr. Nagler, in a less than nice

> > fashion, asked a question about something someone said (though I don't

> > see that thread anymore). Although it was a bit harsh, he was only

> > trying to get us to think. Dr. Nagler mentioned the 10 Cognitive

> > Distortions and I thought it might be good for everyone to read what

> > they are. You will notice that they all stem from negative thinking.

> > Take a look at this article and really think about your own mindset.

> > Its 3 pages and a worthwhile read.

> >

> > You Are What You Think

> > <http://depression.about.com/cs/psychotherapy/a/cognitive.htm>

> >

>

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Are you thinking of feelings that come from reactions? For example, I just

accidentally touched a hot burner on the stove and without even thinking I felt

pain and reacted by quickly moving my hand away. As opposed to the feelings

that come later that lead to actions such as put ice on it, put aloe on it, or

don't do anything about it. I think we could draw an analogy here that a

trigger is like a reaction feeling such as burning your finger, but what we do

after the intial reaction are feelings or thoughts that can be altered.

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EXACTLY ! CBT and positive thinking can change what happens 'after' hearing a trigger. I still have triggers and still react to them immediately. Its automatic such as pulling your hand away from a hot stove. But from that point on I can either turn negative and start cussing, saying things like 'why me', blaming the person for popping their gum to tick me off, etc... ~OR~ I can talk myself down to a calm point, put things into perspective (that person isn't doing it to tick me off), realizing that I really am just fine, etc... Before I learned this I would hear a trigger and get so angry/upset that I would dwell on it the rest of the day. Then I would sit and wait to hear the next one just knowing that I would hate it. I locked myself away from life because I didn't want to hear those sounds. Now, I accept this is part of me (like it or not) and know that I will hear sounds that I may not like, but that its ok. I don't dwell on them any longer. Once I hear it, I work through my reaction and move on. End of story.> >> > Somebody needs to prove to me that feelings cannot come from places other than thoughts.> >

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I like what I'm hearing :) I think my analogy is not 100% with the scientific

community but I was just trying to point out that we are talking about the

behavior after the trigger reaction and you confirmed that for me. I think the

initial reaction is still somewhere between touching the hot stove and where we

actually think about it. If it was the hot stove reaction, I think there would

be a lot of peolpe out there that pop gum that would have been immediately

injured by me. I must have had a very quick initial thought to not do that

also. I think several levels are linked to this but for now I will focus on

what I can do about the after initial action first.

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> > > Somebody needs to prove to me that feelings cannot come from places

> other than thoughts.

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Lindsey, If you don't mind I would like to step back from posting for a moment

and have people from the group that are much more experienced than me give you

their input. I apologize for jumping in so fast being so new to the group like

you. I am in no way an expert on this topic although I have lived the side

effects of it for a long time now. I believe you had more specific questions

that have been buried in this chain of messages now that had not been answered

yet. You may want to even consider starting a brand new topic with a list of

your questions.

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That's why I'm here.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 5:24 PM

Lindsey, If you don't mind I would like to step back from posting for a moment and have people from the group that are much more experienced than me give you their input. I apologize for jumping in so fast being so new to the group like you. I am in no way an expert on this topic although I have lived the side effects of it for a long time now. I believe you had more specific questions that have been buried in this chain of messages now that had not been answered yet. You may want to even consider starting a brand new topic with a list of your questions.

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Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. :)>> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

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I just got married in October, and I have been triggered daily by my husband since our first date! I never yell at him or say much to him (unless we are in the car) but he has chronic dry mouth that it worse than eating or anything. He is by and large the loudest mouth-noise person I have ever been around, but other than that highly ironic coincidence, he is my dream man. Therefore, I have managed my outbursts, yet I still get so anxious sometimes that I excuse myself to go the bathroom, where I have to slap myself in the face over and over until the sound leaves my head. It's internal torture.... I cannot do anything to mess up this marriage. I have a little daughter who finally has a step father who cares about her. I am putting a LOT on the line by losing my temper! I just get so depressed about it; I feel like a defective specimen, a broken thing, useless.

There are so many times that my love, romance, and even sex life, were disrupted, that it drives me crazy imagining how amazing my marriage would be without my problems. It takes so much ENERGY to control myself that it's truly draining. That's why since yesterday, when I found these websites and this group, I finally wrote my husband a long email explaining to him (becasue I could never bring this up in person, even tho he knows I have some wierd issue). This thing has ruined every relationship I've ever been in and played a large role in my first divorce.l I hate myself for it. Plugging my ears is childish and embarassing. Losing my temper and throwing things is immature and makes people lose respect. And twitching and fitting makes me look way weird. I just want this madness to end before I lose it completely, or my husband does. My biggest fear is that I pass it onto my kid. You know what the feeling

reminds me of? Nicotine fit. I smoked for 10 years and the it took me a lot of tries to quit..... the feeling is like cigarette withdraw. Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 4:33 PM

EXACTLY ! CBT and positive thinking can change what happens 'after' hearing a trigger. I still have triggers and still react to them immediately. Its automatic such as pulling your hand away from a hot stove. But from that point on I can either turn negative and start cussing, saying things like 'why me', blaming the person for popping their gum to tick me off, etc... ~OR~ I can talk myself down to a calm point, put things into perspective (that person isn't doing it to tick me off), realizing that I really am just fine, etc... Before I learned this I would hear a trigger and get so angry/upset that I would dwell on it the rest of the day. Then I would sit and wait to hear the next one just knowing that I would hate it. I locked myself away from life because I didn't want to hear those sounds. Now, I accept this is part of me (like it or not) and know that

I will hear sounds that I may not like, but that its ok. I don't dwell on them any longer. Once I hear it, I work through my reaction and move on. End of story.> >> > Somebody needs

to prove to me that feelings cannot come from places other than thoughts.> >

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I mean feelings that come from the body. Feelings could come from chemicals reactions outside the scope of thought. Just becasue thoughts can control blood pressure, wrinkles,and body temperature, doesn't mean that we know everything that causes emotion or other places in the nervous system that emotion-type experiences can come from. I personally feel like I'm having a physical reaction to the sounds, to be honest. There could be involuntary emotional reactions, just as there are involuntary smooth muscles. The simple fact that hundreds of people from hundreds of backgrounds from all four corners of the country are having the same nuerological defect...... is a little crazy and beyond human knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I have 2 AA degrees and I'm a student at UC . I should feel like I know everything right? But the more I learn, the more I realize that

humans don't know much at all.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 4:08 PM

Are you thinking of feelings that come from reactions? For example, I just accidentally touched a hot burner on the stove and without even thinking I felt pain and reacted by quickly moving my hand away. As opposed to the feelings that come later that lead to actions such as put ice on it, put aloe on it, or don't do anything about it. I think we could draw an analogy here that a trigger is like a reaction feeling such as burning your finger, but what we do after the intial reaction are feelings or thoughts that can be altered.

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