Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

[Guest guest]

Gum chewing is rather more common in the US than in other countries, I believe.

I don't see that many people chewing gum here in Australia; at least, not in my

circles. I am probably more affected by people eating food and drinking

(slurping) hot drinks, especially in confined public places like elevators or

train carriages - and at home and in the office.

Chewing gum was developed as a commercial product in New England in the middle

1800s. The practice was copied from local native Americans. That probably

explains why it is more common in the US - the practice originated there in

modern times. (source: Wikipedia) I suspect that American soldiers stationed

abroad during and after WW2 helped spread the practice in other countries.

Gum chewing could be a significant feature of various subcultures. That may be

why many people in particular subcultures (e.g. urban black subculture) chew

gum. But one should also include baseball players as another subculture that

regularly chews gum, based on what I hear. It may be one of a number of

practices that various groups adopt to set them apart from the traditional

middle class subculture - a kind of badge of identity (wearing long hair had

that function for youth back in the 1960s).

>

> wow, I wanna live where you do if you hardly ever encounter people chewing

gum. All it takes is a trip to the grocery store and I encounter at least 10

people popping away. Not to mention where I work... everyone chews gum.

>

> But I will tell you this... race has nothing to do with it.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Heidi and everyone!I agree, my MIL's behavior hurts me even more because I suspect that her continued pop does in fact signal a sign of disrespect. I also sometimes think she does it purposely to annoy me and that is doubly upsetting. And how I have now come to avoid her. I run to other rooms and hide when she visits. I deliberately avoid inviting her to events for the kids and other examples of avoiding...Yet last night I actually had a lovely PHONE conversation with her. On the phone at least, I can't tell if she is chewing gum in my face. (Although sometimes I can hear the gum cracking over the phone, but it's more muffled.)

Cate, I never referred to 4S as a minor issue.

What I want to convey is that if the sensitivity is confined to one type

of sound and the aversive response is not particularly great, then in

such a case it isn't much of a problem when you consider the grand

scheme of things.

smn

>

> Yes, for some reason the posts sometimes take a while to come up. Both

of yours did show up.

>

> Your question is very valid. It's good to have an objective outside

view and probing questions which make us think more objectively about

the condition. I have thought the very same thing: Why can I tolerate

one person's sound more than another? And why do I tolerate a person's

sound up to a certain point, after which it becomes unbearable? But why

are there certain sounds that I don't tolerate from anyone?

>

> Still I'm not sure that I would call 4S a minor issue. I would argue,

at least with the experience I have up to this point, that 4S tends to

aggravate other problems, and other problems tend to aggravate 4S. That

makes it hard to distinguish which is really the root issue.

>

> Anyway, I appreciate your POV and desire to learn from us. Keep

shooting.

>

> Cate

[Guest guest]

Do you really think that if we wrote our representatives that they would take action? There are 1200 of us, many of whom are not in the U.S., so let’s say 600. We are spread across the states. We can’t all write the same Congressman. Plus, Heidi said she wrote her representative and he ignored the 4s/misophonia portion of it. Why would I waste my time writing such a letter? Plus, what sort of statistics should I offer him in regards to “how it impacts the economy”? I find it strange that you really think this course of action would possibly affect change. I think actually contacting facilities that do medical research would be time better spent. We also contacted the House Clinic in California and spoke with a doctor who does research on genetic auditory disorders. He too was very interested but needs a grant. I have been trying different plans of attack on this site over the past several years, we have done applications in mass to the NIH and letter/email writing campaigns. We have also emailed several other doctors and medical groups. That was when we focused a lot of people writing to one location. I just don’t know how we could really focus a letter writing campaign to one Congressman. It rather irritates me that you make me and others in this group sound like we are just sitting back with our mantras, whining and not taking action! I know you just got here, but don’t assume what you don’t know. I was on this group when it was only 6 people and waited patiently for our numbers to grow—I knew they would. Then I hoped to use these numbers to affect change. Fortunately, we have Dr. who is working to shed more light on this condition. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of SeriouslyConsiderTheCatSent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 12:26 AMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH! Kathy, I understand how strongly you feel about the need for research. And it's good that a letter was written to NIH a few years ago. It'swonderful that you've thought about a letter writing campaign, etc. Ireally mean that.But it seems that the answer to my question regarding exactly how manyletters you have written to your representatives in Congress explainingwhat 4S is, how it impacts the economy, and why the government needs toallocate funds for 4S research is ... zero.I am not trying to put you or anybody else on the spot, but in myopinion until those who are personally affected by 4S turn goodintention into effective action, your WE NEED RESEARCH mantra isn'tgoing to get you anywhere.smn>> We wrote to the NIH and they said they were interested in a study. Being> that they are funded by the government and they do research onundiagnosed> conditions, I thought they were a good place to start.>>>> It would be interesting if we all wrote our Representatives. However,that> would consist of letters going to many different Congressmen who would> probably brush us off as " crazies. " We would need to focus a letterwriting> campaign towards one entity, so it wouldn't be so diluted across all50> states. Believe me, I've thought of this. I've also thought ofsitting> outside of the Capitol (I live in Washington DC) and possibly marchingwith> signs, or even doing a hunger strike to get publicity for thiscondition.>>>> I agree that since we pay taxes (many taxes), we deserve research forthis> condition that affects so many people.>>>> We bombarded the NIH back in 2008 and they seemed to be interested andsaid> they needed time to put a study together. I need to email them andask how> it is going.>>>> As far as shouting " WE NEED RESEARCH " that is pretty much my mantraand> shows how frustrated I am with this condition. I didn't mean itrudely.>>>> Thanks for your input.>

[Guest guest]

I live in a very affluent area of Northern Virginia, and the gum chewers pretty much include everyone. Small children to older, well-dressed women. It amazes me. Plus, they allow it in schools which they didn’t use to. Americans just love their gum! Plus, our educational system encourages it because of studies that say that it helps cognitive abilities especially during test taking (wow a study on the benefits of chewing gum, but not on something such as a horrible sound sensitivity—money well spent). Sad to say, I don’t think all the gum chewing is helping make our children smarter. I think actually studying would be better (I’m a substitute teacher and am amazed at how we have dumbed down our schools). Also, the studies say that gum chewing helps you lose weight by burning calories—yet Americans are more obese than ever. Hmmmm—I think their studies are not very accurate. From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of IanSent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 4:44 AMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH! Gum chewing is rather more common in the US than in other countries, I believe. I don't see that many people chewing gum here in Australia; at least, not in my circles. I am probably more affected by people eating food and drinking (slurping) hot drinks, especially in confined public places like elevators or train carriages - and at home and in the office.Chewing gum was developed as a commercial product in New England in the middle 1800s. The practice was copied from local native Americans. That probably explains why it is more common in the US - the practice originated there in modern times. (source: Wikipedia) I suspect that American soldiers stationed abroad during and after WW2 helped spread the practice in other countries.Gum chewing could be a significant feature of various subcultures. That may be why many people in particular subcultures (e.g. urban black subculture) chew gum. But one should also include baseball players as another subculture that regularly chews gum, based on what I hear. It may be one of a number of practices that various groups adopt to set them apart from the traditional middle class subculture - a kind of badge of identity (wearing long hair had that function for youth back in the 1960s).>> wow, I wanna live where you do if you hardly ever encounter people chewing gum. All it takes is a trip to the grocery store and I encounter at least 10 people popping away. Not to mention where I work... everyone chews gum. > > But I will tell you this... race has nothing to do with it.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have joined the group not too long ago and have thus far been just an

observer; but, I have to comment on your idea on having information cards or

even t-shirts (which I would wear religiously) to expose and explain the

condition in an UNOFFENSIVE manner. Most of the time when I finally get the

guts to actually confront an " offender " it is when I'm at a boiling point and it

usually comes across as aggressive, if people only understood where I'm coming

from I believe the perception would change drastically. I wonder if other

people would be interested int this. If there are any artsy people in this

group would they be willing to make a design or a logo with a " catch phrase " .

Until only a couple of years ago, I though I was alone with some freak brain

malfunction, now that I can actually put a name to this " condition " I will do

anything in my power to get as much exposure as possible because the scariest

part is that there is little to no knowledge about this even amongst

psychiatrist and psychologist. I have been labeled with clinical depression and

social phobia which on surface does fit the bill but when you dig deeper it's

like putting a fresh coat of paint on a house with crumbling foundation.

Cheers,

Kasia

>

>

>

> Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT!

UGH!

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and

how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family

believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS

and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

>

> A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still

creating awkwardness in our relationship.

>

> Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our

mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

>

> I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick

up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

>

> Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my

mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

>

> I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm

upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO

GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

>

> Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my

mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

>

> My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I

was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd

be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

>

> I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when

she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get

her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a

headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> >

> > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT

IT! UGH!

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and

how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family

believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS

and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still

creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our

mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

> >

> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her

pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my

mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

> >

> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm

upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO

GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my

mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I

was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd

be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

> >

> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE

when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to

get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a

headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

> >

>

My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had

gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually

mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly

not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she

pulled out a piece of gum and said " Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am

going to make all kinds of noise with it! " , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling

because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has

since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I

forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of

her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my

experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your

husband should confront her and explain to her your condition. May be she will

respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I

totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

Hi Kasia, My name is Kasia too. I am from Poland but living in Chicago. Are you polish too? Sent from my iPhone

> >

> >

> > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

> >

> >

> > Â

> >

> >

> >

> > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

> >

> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

> >

> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"

> >

> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

> >

> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

> >

>

My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

Hi Casia,

Chicago is a good place to be if you are Polish. Similar climate and lots of people from Poland.

No I am not Polish, but my father's family was from what used to be Poland but they were Jewish. I grew up on Eastern European food. It took me years to lose all of the fat:-)

But is was worth it!

My real surname is Tinkel. Can you imagine being an overly sensitive, anxious, fat Jewish kid in a mostly gentile grammar school with 4S and name like Tinkel!! I've got enough problems.....

I am still recovering!

On a more serious note, I am so glad that you are in the group. And I have enjoyed your input. You are very insightful.

Mike Lawrence(Tinkel)

> > > > > > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> > To: Soundsensitivity >

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > > > Well all the while I was crying and telling

her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.> > > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache

and more or less threw her right out the door.> >>My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and

explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

Hi , I am sorry but this email was directed to Kasia who responded to your email, yeah tell me about it, Chicago is full of Poles. Many of them have polish last names and do not even speak the language- very confusing lol Sent from my iPhone

Hi Casia,

Chicago is a good place to be if you are Polish. Similar climate and lots of people from Poland.

No I am not Polish, but my father's family was from what used to be Poland but they were Jewish. I grew up on Eastern European food. It took me years to lose all of the fat:-)

But is was worth it!

My real surname is Tinkel. Can you imagine being an overly sensitive, anxious, fat Jewish kid in a mostly gentile grammar school with 4S and name like Tinkel!! I've got enough problems.....

I am still recovering!

On a more serious note, I am so glad that you are in the group. And I have enjoyed your input. You are very insightful.

Mike Lawrence(Tinkel)

> > > > > > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> > To: Soundsensitivity >

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > > > Well all the while I was crying and telling

her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.> > > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache

and more or less threw her right out the door.> >>My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and

explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group " Only " . I like your idea in theory. As a matter of fact I

fashioned a homemade sign after a similar discussion on this message board a

while back. It is simply the red circle with the diagonal " line through it " and

the picture is a pack of gum.

I have it up on my refrigerator. It's not very big, and I very rarely have

company. I even went so far as to write underneath it, " my house, my rules " .

Nobody ever sees it but me, but it helps me feel empowered. I am a bit

" Aspergerish " I tend to shy away from socializiing, and I don't " banter " or joke

well at all. So I have been deemed aloof and odd throughout my life. I am pretty

non-confrontational, and I have a fear of bullies, or I would carry a card or

wear a t-shirt if I had more support in my offline world, I might consider the

card or the t-shirt.

I did had one repeat offender, who obviously never looked at my refrigerator.

Every time he showed up with gum I offered him a tissue, and a couple of other

times used the phrase " uh-oh " Which reminded him what he already knew, but

forgot, because to him it's not a problem. I do seem to notice quite often the

people who are the biggest offenders are people who are very outgoing and have a

large family/support system. For me, THIS place is that. I am not trying to

offend anyone here who is outgoing or has a large family, but that is MY

experience. It's like they feel safe enough to just blurt out or do whatever

they want because they know someone has their back.

> >

> >

> > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT

IT! UGH!

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and

how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family

believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS

and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still

creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our

mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

> >

> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her

pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my

mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

> >

> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm

upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO

GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my

mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I

was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd

be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

> >

> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE

when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to

get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a

headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Kasia,Yes, I am polish living in Toronto, I have emigrated from Poland a looooong time ago and haven't looked back as Canada is a great place to live in.Sent from my HTC----- Reply message -----To: " Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2011 14:18

Hi Kasia, My name is Kasia too. I am from Poland but living in Chicago. Are you polish too? Sent from my iPhone

> >

> >

> > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

> >

> >

> > Â

> >

> >

> >

> > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

> >

> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

> >

> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"

> >

> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

> >

> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

> >

>

My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

Hi Kasia,Welcome to the active part of the group! Do you find being around your horse to be very restorative with respect to 4S! Friesians are very cool. We have A Hanoverian.JRSent from my iPad

Hi ,

I have joined the group not too long ago and have thus far been just an observer; but, I have to comment on your idea on having information cards or even t-shirts (which I would wear religiously) to expose and explain the condition in an UNOFFENSIVE manner. Most of the time when I finally get the guts to actually confront an "offender" it is when I'm at a boiling point and it usually comes across as aggressive, if people only understood where I'm coming from I believe the perception would change drastically. I wonder if other people would be interested int this. If there are any artsy people in this group would they be willing to make a design or a logo with a "catch phrase". Until only a couple of years ago, I though I was alone with some freak brain malfunction, now that I can actually put a name to this "condition" I will do anything in my power to get as much exposure as possible because the scariest part is that there is little to no knowledge about this even amongst psychiatrist and psychologist. I have been labeled with clinical depression and social phobia which on surface does fit the bill but when you dig deeper it's like putting a fresh coat of paint on a house with crumbling foundation.

Cheers,

Kasia

>

>

>

> Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

>

>

> Â

>

>

>

> I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

>

> A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.

>

> Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

>

> I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

>

> Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

>

> I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"

>

> Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

>

> My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

>

> I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm Ukrainian!  Maybe we Slavic women are just more sensitive in general??Katia

 

Hi Kasia, My name is Kasia too. I am from Poland but living in Chicago. Are you polish too? Sent from my iPhone

 

> >

> >

> > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

> > To: Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

> >

> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

> >

> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

> >

> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

> >

>

My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said " Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it! " , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

For the poster who mentioned ther mother in law too does this, my heart goes out to you. Each night when my MIL babysits I come in and sure enough she is snapping the gum at such a high number of decibels! She sounds like she's snapping a rubber band! I don't even know how she positions her jaw to do that! I CRRINGE. I also think she's starting to lose her marbles because she has done this for THREE YEARS STRAIGHT NOW. Wouldn't you get sick of it yourself after a while, being the cracker yourself?

Anyhow, a few days ago I turned on the radio loudly in the kitchen and then ran the sink with the water running loud to drown her out. I don't think she caught on.

> > > > > > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> > To: Soundsensitivity > >

Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her

how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.> > > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and

more or less threw her right out the door.> >>My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and explain

to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!

[Guest guest]

ugh. Gum is my kryptonite. Of all the noises out there, gum chewing is the one that leaves me defensless. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry, just absolutely burst into tears and come undone. Best of luck to you. That and whispering. I almost literally lose my mind when I hear whispering.

Tammy

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, March 6, 2011 8:28:49 AMSubject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

For the poster who mentioned ther mother in law too does this, my heart goes out to you. Each night when my MIL babysits I come in and sure enough she is snapping the gum at such a high number of decibels! She sounds like she's snapping a rubber band! I don't even know how she positions her jaw to do that! I CRRINGE. I also think she's starting to lose her marbles because she has done this for THREE YEARS STRAIGHT NOW. Wouldn't you get sick of it yourself after a while, being the cracker yourself?

Anyhow, a few days ago I turned on the radio loudly in the kitchen and then ran the sink with the water running loud to drown her out. I don't think she caught on.

> > > > > > From: believinginbluejay <believinginbluejay@>> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> > To: Soundsensitivity > > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or

supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO

GO!"> > > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.> > > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.> >>My mother in law used to do that and it really bothered me. She constantly had gum in her mouth and constantly snapped and chomped it. My husband actually mentioned to her that I did not like that sound and he actually asked her kindly not to

do it in front of me. She didn't stop. In fact, once in the car she pulled out a piece of gum and said "Amy, I am going to chew this gum and I am going to make all kinds of noise with it!" , I almost cried! It hurt my feeling because to me it showed me how much she didn't care for me! My mother in law has since passed away and I know now that she did care about me in her own way. I forgave her for that. I miss her terribly. I do not wish to speak unkindly of her now, please do not get me wrong, but I just wanted to share with you my experience and how my husband tried to help by speaking up to her. May be your husband should confront her and explain to her your condition. May be she will respect and care for you enough to not do it around you. Best wishes and I totally understand what you are going through! God Bless!