Re: Sleep

[Guest guest]

Me too about this.

I don't care how or what method you use, I honestly don't have an emotional

opinion on any single method, except for maybe beating your child

unconscious until he's passed out so he will sleep.... so long as you do not

impose it on me, or make me do that for your child on the rare occasion I

should have to watch him.

My kid or not, if anyone leaves their children in my posession, " NIGHT

NIGHT " being hollered will definitely make them run to their beds LOLOL!!!

Re: Sleep

>

> > Having said this I must add that I really don't care how anyone else

runs

> > their life. Whatever works works.

> >

> > Salli

>

>

> Me neither. And I've also learned never say never -- for what I might say

I don't agree with that someone else does, I may find myself doing tomorrow!

:-)

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> I am not sure what the Ferber method is.... I am guessing that it's the " let

> them cry themselves to sleep " method?

Generally. But it uses a timed method -- the first time, go in after x minutes.

verbally soothe, rub back, do not pick kid up. Do the same again after xx

minutes. and so on.

> Where sleep is concerned, I am blessed beyond belief. I daresay y'all would

> be impressed, LOL, even if you do not agree. At 6 months of age, I gave up

> on carrying them and walking around, singing, to have them sleep. My back

> was simply giving out.

Yup. At two years of age, our bedtime routine was torturous. We'd have ti sit

on the couch, always with his head in the crook of my left arm, always with a

bottle, always with the lights at a certain level and NO NOISE. Then I'd have

to creeeeeeeep him to bed. Then at 3am, I could set my watch by it, he'd wake

and scream. There was no putting him back to bed. So I'd bring him in bed with

me, and he'd wiggle and kick and talk and smack me until daybreak.

I was parenting alone at the time; Marc was on the boats. I had no choice but

to do something drastic -- something that I'd sworn I would never do! (big

surprise, right???)

> The first day <naptime>, they cried for 1.5 hours, on and off. That was

> hell on earth. But I never went in, not once. I do believe that they

> really kept on waking each other up with the others' cries.

> That night, for bedtime, they cried 45 minutes. Oh geez, we're never going

> to make it, I thought.

> The next day's naptime, 10 minutes, and then they played for 10 minutes - -

> then silence....

> And the next bedtime - - about 30 seconds of crying, and then silence. Just

> went straight to bed.

>

Yeah -- our trials didn't last longer than a week, either! I've heard of kids

who take MONTHS to adjust to that.

You know what I think? I think the whole bedtime falling asleep in arms and all

was just another autistic need for routine and sameness, and once worked

out the NEW routine, he was like, " Oh, OK. "

> Now - - to this day, I have never seen children who LOVE " night night " time

> as much as my girls do.

is great at bedtime now, too. Never thought I'd see the day.

> My aunt made the best observation. " You are such a pushover during the

> day, " she observes, " but bedtime in this house is like a prison ward's

> LIGHTS OFF announcement! " LOLOL.... it really is - but they honestly do

> like the schedule. I didn't realize how much I was actually playing into

> their autistic desire for schedule until years later, but it worked.

Here, too! Bedtime Is Seven-Forty is the strictest rule in the house! And HE

actually counts it down, too! He KNOWS that once that clock passes 7:40,

there's no screwing around.

Yay for happy bedtimes!!!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> So I finally took my mom's advice, which I'd been shunning for months.

Put

> the child in crib, do whatever bedtime ritual you please, and leave.

There

> is no further negotiation.

That's fairly Ferberish (actually I think Ferber has you go back and smile

and be pleasant and then leave again after a certain amount of crying).

I have always heard that it worked pretty much as Grace describes. But I

never tried it. My kids always slept with me and I never felt as if we had

really big sleeping problems, not even Putter. Oh, the occasional night

with illnesses and such, but that could happen to any child.

So I never needed it. But a fellow LLL leader of mine who I have a lot of

respect for was really having problems due to sleep deprivation and she used

this method, as kindly as possible, on her daughter and it worked. She

didn't use it on her next child; he was very different and I don't think she

felt any need.

And I can't say that if I had a really terrible time, I would not have used

that method.

Never name the well from which you will not drink.

Salli

P.S. do you think it works on obnoxious fourteen year olds?

[Guest guest]

>

> You know what I think? I think the whole bedtime falling asleep in arms

and all was just another autistic need for routine and sameness, and once

worked out the NEW routine, he was like, " Oh, OK. "

>

Poor Putter! What a sad life for an autistic boy. I just don't do routines

at all. He never had a bedtime routine and he probably never will get one.

I just don't do the same things; I start reading or doing something and I

forget and I really loathe being expected to do the same things. So he goes

to bed when he goes to bed and he has no particular sequence of events that

must happen first. Never got that, although I am sure he'd like it.

Now I don't even feel guilty about it since everyone compliments him on his

schedule flexibility. Maybe I helped with that.

Having said this I must add that I really don't care how anyone else runs

their life. Whatever works works.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> Poor Putter! What a sad life for an autistic boy. I just don't do

routines

> at all. He never had a bedtime routine and he probably never will get

one.

> I just don't do the same things; I start reading or doing something and I

> forget and I really loathe being expected to do the same things. So he

goes

> to bed when he goes to bed and he has no particular sequence of events

that

> must happen first. Never got that, although I am sure he'd like it.

Lack of routine is probably Putter's ROUTINE.

Watch, Salli... you suddenly go and have a strict schedule, and Putter will

lose all control, LOL!!!

> Now I don't even feel guilty about it since everyone compliments him on

his

> schedule flexibility. Maybe I helped with that.

Well, I'm sure you did!!!!

Honestly, I didn't have much of a routine for my girls, before school

started. Now, I have school and the regular drop off and pickup times, but

other than that - and BEDTIME, I still don't have a routine.

But the teachers have observed that Madison was supposedly very upset when

they switched around Lunch and Circle time. So either she obviously expects

a routine at school <which they have>, or they are totally misinterpreting

the reason for her having thrown a fit.

[Guest guest]

>Usually he is up breifly around 4.

goes down between 12-2 AM, wakes at 3 AM w/ Night terrors, and

is up for anywhere from 30 min to 3 hours!!!

I believe he feels like he is floating or even falling when

> he starts to go to sleep.

I have noticed that me, myself, when I am REALLY tired and drifting

off, I feel like I'm spinning in one of those gyro-thingies that the

astronauts train on. It is a VERY diquieting sensation.

>

> According to the book, the longest period of the most restful sleep

occurs

> early in the night. I think Mikey is getting this sleep, waking

after REM

> sleep (normal) and then his anxiety keeps him from going back to

sleep.

> Because he's already had his most restful sleep of the night, his

body is

> not tired enough to force him back to sleep.

>I agree with you entirely on this one. does the same thing. He

sleeps the quietest and soundest in the first 3-4 hours of his sleep

cycle. Can I have some chloral hydrate too?? I'd kill for more than 3-

4 hours a night!!

> It is obvious that he needs more sleep than this. At times he

literally

> falls asleep on his feet. In addition I believe some of his

> hyperactivity may actually be a symptom of being OVERtired.

Once again, I agree. I have discovered that is at his worst and

most difficult on the nights he gets the least sleep. Some thigs that

have worked for us:

Deep pressure when he wakes in the middle of the night. This usually

entails me literally LAYING on my son, and apparently it helps to

quell the floaty feeling he has.

Chamomle tea. I personally reccomend Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime

tea. It's all natural, and a great soother. It has natural

ingredients that help calm the nervous system, lower blood pressure

and heart rate, ease tummy aches, and it is a great tasting tea.

I will do some research in my herb books and see what I can dig up on

sleep...good luck, and let me know if you have any succcesses.

[Guest guest]

> tried doing this with Ebony, but she just played in her room till like 3

> o'clock am. By that time, she was naked and her room was literally

> destroyed...everything out of the dresser, sheets off, curtains down, toys

> everywhere!!! Yikes

Yikes is right!

Guess you only tried THAT once! :-)

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

They make

me pretty nervous, since your average holistic store owner is not as

well-versed on their effects and side-effects as I'd like them to

be. But if

you have someone you really trust, who is knowledgable, I hope you

can find

something to help!

HI!!!!!

Resident Witch here, also well-versed in herbology!!!! Ask, and I

will answer!!!

[Guest guest]

OH OH OH!!!

I WILL NOT RELIVE THIS!

5 years of HELL I tell you.....

I will NOT listen to the rest of this thread.

Penny :-|

[Guest guest]

OH OH OH!!!

I WILL NOT RELIVE THIS!

5 years of HELL I tell you.....

I will NOT listen to the rest of this thread.

Penny :-|