Re: Attachment issues?

[Guest guest]

I wonder how many of us find these issues to touch a very

uncomfortable nerve in us?

What a horrible ordeal you went through. I hate even thinking about

that movie because of the way it makes me feel, and for you, even

worse, because you were dealing with those same emotions right at the

time you watched it. I am glad you found another solution.

I have been thinking more about what I said before. I am still trying

to figure out whether I have always had this attachment issue with my

mother, or whether, like I had thought before, that my relationship

with her was pretty decent until I hit the preteen years, when

everything started to fall apart. (How dare I differentiate and be my

own person?!) If it's the latter, it's more like you said -

abandonment. Actually, that makes some sense. Great. just what we

need - abandonment issues... (reminding myself that my therapist is

sure I don't have BPD... this is all so unnerving...)

Anyway, your post just makes me want to send you some hugs...

Tara

>

> " I also was deeply disturbed for days after watching the movie

A.I. - the little robot boy -

> all he wanted was for his mother to love him. I couldn't shake the

horrible, nauseated

> feeling for days. "

>

> I was living in NYC before, during and after Sept. 11. I was just

out of college. I was

> experiencing anxiety attacks. I felt alone and needed family,

needed to go somewhere I

> felt safe.

>

> I took my nada up on her multitude of invitations to stay with her,

in a town I had never

> even visited before. When I got there, she was working and

successful, to the point of

> reckless hubris. She had no time for me. She was dating a much

younger man, who was an

> alcoholic. She drank with him. Their whole world was work and each

other, and when I

> voiced my discomfort with the boyfriend, who was over every night,

she turned on me

> viciously. I lived like that for three months until I found another

solution. In a way, it was

> just as bad (for me) as living in NYC post-911. The stress I felt

in both places was

> comporable.

>

> One weekend, I went with her to a casino someplace -- this was her

idea of bonding. Even

> this went horribly. The first night we were there, we had a fight.

While she was asleep, I

> watched A.I. It must have been January of 2002.

>

> When the movie was over, I went into the hotel bathroom and cried

for what must have

> been two solid hours on my knees until I began wretching into the

toilet.

>

> I almost can't believe that you referenced this movie.

>

> I guess for me the issue isn't attachment, but rationalized

abandonment.

>