Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Jae, The more I read these postings and respond to them in words and emotionally, are parents should be charged with crimes against humanity and sentenced for it. I wonder what more could then have done and then I read your post. We cry, suffer and hurt for various reasons, one being were suppose to be given a strong, solid and caring foundation by our parents. We were denied that....over and over again. Our foundations are missing chunks of compassion, emotional stability, validation and acceptance of who we are. Those chunks, gives us hole that stay in our heart and soul. We are all working hard to fill those holes, we go to therapy, educate ourselves about BP, dialogue, post on here, journal....you know the ways. Yet there still remain those moments when the pain...the rejection and the absence of a real parent whether we are NC or not, just hurts like hell. Oh Jae, you know of us are ever going to have the parents we deserve and want. You do though have a wonderful girl friend and her supportive and caring parents will become a great comfort to you, and maybe a surrogate parents for you. It isn't the genes that we share with someone that makes them a parent, it how they love and treat us. So this new life with your girlfriend could be a new beginning for you. Big HUGS to Jae...you are a wonderful woman. Lose the energy you giving to people that don't deserve your love and focus your energy on YOU and those people who cherish you. Take care of yourself, Malinda > > > > Hmmm...I know my mother never wanted to take ME to the doctor. Where > > some BPDs may be hypochondriacs and focused on illness all the time, > > my momster was very " get over it " and I think she did that to herself > > too, not just to me. I remember occasionally being very constipated > > and begging her to help me in some way and she would tell me to eat an > > apple. If she had just gone to the store and gotten me some kind of > > metamucil cookie, I would have at least felt like she cared. She was > > the youngest of 5 and they were really poor, so she took that attitude > > with her into adulthood. It's this attitude of " life is suffering so > > you might as well suffer " that she had and still has. Like when I > > told her my job was killing me emotionally she said, (actual quote) > > " all jobs stink. and the next one will stink just as bad, so you > > might as well just stay where you are. almost everyone hates working > > and it never gets better. " > > > > Christ, what a horrible message! > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Jae, The more I read these postings and respond to them in words and emotionally, are parents should be charged with crimes against humanity and sentenced for it. I wonder what more could then have done and then I read your post. We cry, suffer and hurt for various reasons, one being were suppose to be given a strong, solid and caring foundation by our parents. We were denied that....over and over again. Our foundations are missing chunks of compassion, emotional stability, validation and acceptance of who we are. Those chunks, gives us hole that stay in our heart and soul. We are all working hard to fill those holes, we go to therapy, educate ourselves about BP, dialogue, post on here, journal....you know the ways. Yet there still remain those moments when the pain...the rejection and the absence of a real parent whether we are NC or not, just hurts like hell. Oh Jae, you know of us are ever going to have the parents we deserve and want. You do though have a wonderful girl friend and her supportive and caring parents will become a great comfort to you, and maybe a surrogate parents for you. It isn't the genes that we share with someone that makes them a parent, it how they love and treat us. So this new life with your girlfriend could be a new beginning for you. Big HUGS to Jae...you are a wonderful woman. Lose the energy you giving to people that don't deserve your love and focus your energy on YOU and those people who cherish you. Take care of yourself, Malinda > > > > Hmmm...I know my mother never wanted to take ME to the doctor. Where > > some BPDs may be hypochondriacs and focused on illness all the time, > > my momster was very " get over it " and I think she did that to herself > > too, not just to me. I remember occasionally being very constipated > > and begging her to help me in some way and she would tell me to eat an > > apple. If she had just gone to the store and gotten me some kind of > > metamucil cookie, I would have at least felt like she cared. She was > > the youngest of 5 and they were really poor, so she took that attitude > > with her into adulthood. It's this attitude of " life is suffering so > > you might as well suffer " that she had and still has. Like when I > > told her my job was killing me emotionally she said, (actual quote) > > " all jobs stink. and the next one will stink just as bad, so you > > might as well just stay where you are. almost everyone hates working > > and it never gets better. " > > > > Christ, what a horrible message! > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Jae, The more I read these postings and respond to them in words and emotionally, are parents should be charged with crimes against humanity and sentenced for it. I wonder what more could then have done and then I read your post. We cry, suffer and hurt for various reasons, one being were suppose to be given a strong, solid and caring foundation by our parents. We were denied that....over and over again. Our foundations are missing chunks of compassion, emotional stability, validation and acceptance of who we are. Those chunks, gives us hole that stay in our heart and soul. We are all working hard to fill those holes, we go to therapy, educate ourselves about BP, dialogue, post on here, journal....you know the ways. Yet there still remain those moments when the pain...the rejection and the absence of a real parent whether we are NC or not, just hurts like hell. Oh Jae, you know of us are ever going to have the parents we deserve and want. You do though have a wonderful girl friend and her supportive and caring parents will become a great comfort to you, and maybe a surrogate parents for you. It isn't the genes that we share with someone that makes them a parent, it how they love and treat us. So this new life with your girlfriend could be a new beginning for you. Big HUGS to Jae...you are a wonderful woman. Lose the energy you giving to people that don't deserve your love and focus your energy on YOU and those people who cherish you. Take care of yourself, Malinda > > > > Hmmm...I know my mother never wanted to take ME to the doctor. Where > > some BPDs may be hypochondriacs and focused on illness all the time, > > my momster was very " get over it " and I think she did that to herself > > too, not just to me. I remember occasionally being very constipated > > and begging her to help me in some way and she would tell me to eat an > > apple. If she had just gone to the store and gotten me some kind of > > metamucil cookie, I would have at least felt like she cared. She was > > the youngest of 5 and they were really poor, so she took that attitude > > with her into adulthood. It's this attitude of " life is suffering so > > you might as well suffer " that she had and still has. Like when I > > told her my job was killing me emotionally she said, (actual quote) > > " all jobs stink. and the next one will stink just as bad, so you > > might as well just stay where you are. almost everyone hates working > > and it never gets better. " > > > > Christ, what a horrible message! > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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