Guest guest Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Gloria - I am so happy for you that things are turning around. I know from experience that it is better to have no support and have no one to expect it from than have a source from which support should come and it not only doesn't come, but just adds more problems. I am sure your husband will end up much happier to if he can finish as you said, coming out of the cave. Jan H > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Gloria - I am so happy for you that things are turning around. I know from experience that it is better to have no support and have no one to expect it from than have a source from which support should come and it not only doesn't come, but just adds more problems. I am sure your husband will end up much happier to if he can finish as you said, coming out of the cave. Jan H > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Thanks so very much, Jan... Even better yet, he came home from his meeting and even told me the list of people that were sending me their best regards and support. When I asked him why (yes I do know them all), he actually told me that he also expressed his fear to them all tonight. Gloria Gloria - I am so happy for you that things are turning around. I know from experience that it is better to have no support and have no one to expect it from than have a source from which support should come and it not only doesn't come, but just adds more problems. I am sure your husband will end up much happier to if he can finish as you said, coming out of the cave. Jan H On Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 9:23 PM, Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> wrote: > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Thanks so very much, Jan... Even better yet, he came home from his meeting and even told me the list of people that were sending me their best regards and support. When I asked him why (yes I do know them all), he actually told me that he also expressed his fear to them all tonight. Gloria Gloria - I am so happy for you that things are turning around. I know from experience that it is better to have no support and have no one to expect it from than have a source from which support should come and it not only doesn't come, but just adds more problems. I am sure your husband will end up much happier to if he can finish as you said, coming out of the cave. Jan H On Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 9:23 PM, Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> wrote: > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Thanks so very much, Jan... Even better yet, he came home from his meeting and even told me the list of people that were sending me their best regards and support. When I asked him why (yes I do know them all), he actually told me that he also expressed his fear to them all tonight. Gloria Gloria - I am so happy for you that things are turning around. I know from experience that it is better to have no support and have no one to expect it from than have a source from which support should come and it not only doesn't come, but just adds more problems. I am sure your husband will end up much happier to if he can finish as you said, coming out of the cave. Jan H On Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 9:23 PM, Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> wrote: > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 This is good news. I am happy for you. His 'yeah but she' is no fair. I am glad that Sharon and I outlawed certain things before we tied the knot. Sex as a weapon,'yeah but you...', and name calling are the three biggies in our house that have remained taboo for 20 years. This relationship thing is really hard work! love,bobby ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 10:23:49 PM Subject: Gloria's Update Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 This is good news. I am happy for you. His 'yeah but she' is no fair. I am glad that Sharon and I outlawed certain things before we tied the knot. Sex as a weapon,'yeah but you...', and name calling are the three biggies in our house that have remained taboo for 20 years. This relationship thing is really hard work! love,bobby ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 10:23:49 PM Subject: Gloria's Update Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 This is good news. I am happy for you. His 'yeah but she' is no fair. I am glad that Sharon and I outlawed certain things before we tied the knot. Sex as a weapon,'yeah but you...', and name calling are the three biggies in our house that have remained taboo for 20 years. This relationship thing is really hard work! love,bobby ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 10:23:49 PM Subject: Gloria's Update Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Gloria, I am so sorry for all you have had to go through to get to here, but it really sounds like he's FINALLY beginning to get the picture! I am so happy for you! I pray he continues to open up to you and that he will be there for you, as YOU need him to AND as HE needs to be, for BOTH your sakes. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so thankful and still praying.............. > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Gloria, I am so sorry for all you have had to go through to get to here, but it really sounds like he's FINALLY beginning to get the picture! I am so happy for you! I pray he continues to open up to you and that he will be there for you, as YOU need him to AND as HE needs to be, for BOTH your sakes. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so thankful and still praying.............. > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Gloria, I am so sorry for all you have had to go through to get to here, but it really sounds like he's FINALLY beginning to get the picture! I am so happy for you! I pray he continues to open up to you and that he will be there for you, as YOU need him to AND as HE needs to be, for BOTH your sakes. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so thankful and still praying.............. > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Hi Gloria: I am happy to hear that your husband is acknowledging his fears. I can imagine how difficult it must be for both of you at this time. When my husband was first diagnosed with hcc last January I was so scared. I remember talking to our pastor about it and he gave me some really good advice. Contrary to what I thought at the time, he said it's actually healthy to acknowledge my fears and be open with my husband about what I'm feeling. No matter how sick he is he knows when something is bothering me and that's not good for him either. We have had a little more than a year of dealing with this and have gotten plenty of " practice " in expressing our emotions; good and bad. We have some good days and some bad days. When we have a bad day I know that another good one is coming soon, and when we have a good day (like today) I hang onto the moment. Every day that you have each other is a gift and an opportunity for hope for the future. I hope and pray that things will continue on a positive steady course for you both. God bless you both! Love, Jackie Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissupport Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Hi Gloria: I am happy to hear that your husband is acknowledging his fears. I can imagine how difficult it must be for both of you at this time. When my husband was first diagnosed with hcc last January I was so scared. I remember talking to our pastor about it and he gave me some really good advice. Contrary to what I thought at the time, he said it's actually healthy to acknowledge my fears and be open with my husband about what I'm feeling. No matter how sick he is he knows when something is bothering me and that's not good for him either. We have had a little more than a year of dealing with this and have gotten plenty of " practice " in expressing our emotions; good and bad. We have some good days and some bad days. When we have a bad day I know that another good one is coming soon, and when we have a good day (like today) I hang onto the moment. Every day that you have each other is a gift and an opportunity for hope for the future. I hope and pray that things will continue on a positive steady course for you both. God bless you both! Love, Jackie Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissupport Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything.  PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away   even your children.   Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows  Love, Lyncia   From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything.  PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away   even your children.   Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows  Love, Lyncia   From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything.  PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away   even your children.   Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows  Love, Lyncia   From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh Lyncia I wish I was in that car with you right now!!! I just love to run away that way and just drive and drive until I'm tired and then maybe turn back!! LOL except that I live on an island and can only drive for maximum 3 hours whether I go up or down LOL I also hate my weight and if you can imagine, I'm fairly small boned and about 5'3 " and I weigh 170 lbs. I'm really hoping that this operation and recovery at least puts me down to that 155 lbs. Yes, this disease does scare a whole lot of people away, which is exactly why I prefer to communicate on these sites. Nobody else seems to even want to try to understand!! Except, perhaps, my one and only child. Not my step-children at all though. My son is really beginning to understand the whole scope of what I am facing and is now really beginning to worry. I did try to keep a lot of it away from him; but, now find that he has the absolute right to know about the cancer at least. Just blow it all off - driving; but, remember that we are all here for you!!! Luv Gloria ________________________________ It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything. PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your children. Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows Love, Lyncia From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh Lyncia I wish I was in that car with you right now!!! I just love to run away that way and just drive and drive until I'm tired and then maybe turn back!! LOL except that I live on an island and can only drive for maximum 3 hours whether I go up or down LOL I also hate my weight and if you can imagine, I'm fairly small boned and about 5'3 " and I weigh 170 lbs. I'm really hoping that this operation and recovery at least puts me down to that 155 lbs. Yes, this disease does scare a whole lot of people away, which is exactly why I prefer to communicate on these sites. Nobody else seems to even want to try to understand!! Except, perhaps, my one and only child. Not my step-children at all though. My son is really beginning to understand the whole scope of what I am facing and is now really beginning to worry. I did try to keep a lot of it away from him; but, now find that he has the absolute right to know about the cancer at least. Just blow it all off - driving; but, remember that we are all here for you!!! Luv Gloria ________________________________ It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything. PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your children. Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows Love, Lyncia From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh Lyncia I wish I was in that car with you right now!!! I just love to run away that way and just drive and drive until I'm tired and then maybe turn back!! LOL except that I live on an island and can only drive for maximum 3 hours whether I go up or down LOL I also hate my weight and if you can imagine, I'm fairly small boned and about 5'3 " and I weigh 170 lbs. I'm really hoping that this operation and recovery at least puts me down to that 155 lbs. Yes, this disease does scare a whole lot of people away, which is exactly why I prefer to communicate on these sites. Nobody else seems to even want to try to understand!! Except, perhaps, my one and only child. Not my step-children at all though. My son is really beginning to understand the whole scope of what I am facing and is now really beginning to worry. I did try to keep a lot of it away from him; but, now find that he has the absolute right to know about the cancer at least. Just blow it all off - driving; but, remember that we are all here for you!!! Luv Gloria ________________________________ It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know where I am going or anything. PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your children. Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows Love, Lyncia From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> Subject: Gloria's Update To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Lyncia - I don't know how tall you are, but I am about 5' 1 " and would love to get down to 155. I was doing really well at it about 3 years or so ago, lost 60 some pounds, and then they gave me some medicine that made me gain 20 some back. People's reactions really can hurt. I will never forget the last night I called 911. My grandson knew I was getting ready for what turned out to be a helicopter ride to my heart hospital 150 miles away, and he just stayed in his room. He made some comment about it becoming just the usual thing. I can't say I have lost any friends because of it, but I think there are a lot of people out there who really don't believe that I am as sick as I am. I am able to do things in spurts, and then I have to crash. They see the work in spurts, and don't see the crash. My kids rally around during crisis times, but then they get busy and don't have time to answer their phones or make a call when the crisis is over. Jan H > It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know > where I am going or anything. > > PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your > children. > > > > > > Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows > > Love, Lyncia > > > > > > From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> > Subject: Gloria's Update > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM > > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Lyncia - I don't know how tall you are, but I am about 5' 1 " and would love to get down to 155. I was doing really well at it about 3 years or so ago, lost 60 some pounds, and then they gave me some medicine that made me gain 20 some back. People's reactions really can hurt. I will never forget the last night I called 911. My grandson knew I was getting ready for what turned out to be a helicopter ride to my heart hospital 150 miles away, and he just stayed in his room. He made some comment about it becoming just the usual thing. I can't say I have lost any friends because of it, but I think there are a lot of people out there who really don't believe that I am as sick as I am. I am able to do things in spurts, and then I have to crash. They see the work in spurts, and don't see the crash. My kids rally around during crisis times, but then they get busy and don't have time to answer their phones or make a call when the crisis is over. Jan H > It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know > where I am going or anything. > > PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your > children. > > > > > > Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows > > Love, Lyncia > > > > > > From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> > Subject: Gloria's Update > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM > > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Lyncia - I don't know how tall you are, but I am about 5' 1 " and would love to get down to 155. I was doing really well at it about 3 years or so ago, lost 60 some pounds, and then they gave me some medicine that made me gain 20 some back. People's reactions really can hurt. I will never forget the last night I called 911. My grandson knew I was getting ready for what turned out to be a helicopter ride to my heart hospital 150 miles away, and he just stayed in his room. He made some comment about it becoming just the usual thing. I can't say I have lost any friends because of it, but I think there are a lot of people out there who really don't believe that I am as sick as I am. I am able to do things in spurts, and then I have to crash. They see the work in spurts, and don't see the crash. My kids rally around during crisis times, but then they get busy and don't have time to answer their phones or make a call when the crisis is over. Jan H > It's a hard time right now. I am taking off in the car and don't know > where I am going or anything. > > PS Being fat (155) and having this disease scares people away even your > children. > > > > > > Thanks for this day and for our tomorrows > > Love, Lyncia > > > > > > From: Gloria <gadamscanyahoo (DOT) ca> > Subject: Gloria's Update > To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com > Date: Saturday, March 27, 2010, 12:23 AM > > > > Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely > emotional and busy time. > Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can > understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear > himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife > might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not > easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that > things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury > himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, > I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he > turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind > sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) > We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is > a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest > that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least > not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked > at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he > had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it > showed clearly. > It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is > beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with > a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - > I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He > just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will > regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was > definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to > come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white > knight!!! > So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising > and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! > Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the > highest regard for all of you!!!! > Gloria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh ,Gloria...I'm so glad....I pray it's a light at the end of the tunnel.. This has to be so hard for you...I'm happy that we can be here for you......you just let it out girl!! We'll be right here for you.....I'll keep praying he improves emotionally . The surprise kiss is a defineate improvement. I love the Men are from Mars/women From Venus...... It's so true...they just don't think and process like we do!!  Hang in there girl......we're your cheerleaders!!                                                                              Love,Jill  We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 12:23:49 AM Subject: Gloria's Update  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh ,Gloria...I'm so glad....I pray it's a light at the end of the tunnel.. This has to be so hard for you...I'm happy that we can be here for you......you just let it out girl!! We'll be right here for you.....I'll keep praying he improves emotionally . The surprise kiss is a defineate improvement. I love the Men are from Mars/women From Venus...... It's so true...they just don't think and process like we do!!  Hang in there girl......we're your cheerleaders!!                                                                              Love,Jill  We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 12:23:49 AM Subject: Gloria's Update  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Oh ,Gloria...I'm so glad....I pray it's a light at the end of the tunnel.. This has to be so hard for you...I'm happy that we can be here for you......you just let it out girl!! We'll be right here for you.....I'll keep praying he improves emotionally . The surprise kiss is a defineate improvement. I love the Men are from Mars/women From Venus...... It's so true...they just don't think and process like we do!!  Hang in there girl......we're your cheerleaders!!                                                                              Love,Jill  We don't remember days, we remember moments. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away. ________________________________ To: livercirrhosissupport Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 12:23:49 AM Subject: Gloria's Update  Sorry I have not been in contact everyone!!! Just been an extremely emotional and busy time. Well, I imagine that everyone here, whether male or female, can understand that my husband is really going through a great deal of fear himself. Doesn't know nor wants to think it possible that his wife might not always be able to keep the decks clear for him. He's just not easily able to express the fear as an emotion!! Therefore, anytime that things get scary for him, he prefers to go into his cave and bury himself deep. This time, of course which had already been quite awhile, I had to tread to that opening and haul him out!! That's always when he turns his anger on me; because, he wasn't finished getting his mind sorted. (This is from Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) We even went for a counselling session together and with a fella that is a long timer in our step 12 program. Even though Hank tried his hardest that first day, hubby still wasn't ready to admit an emotion (at least not without the " but " she). Instead, he felt picked on!! I've worked at pointing out that no one was ganging up on him. It was simple - he had to let his face know that he didn't think he was angry because it showed clearly. It has taken until probably last night; but, I believe the light is beginning to get into that cave and he's on the verge of coming out with a much healthier attitude!!! Besides, as I've made it extremely clear - I have no more time nor the emotional stamina to wait any longer. He just has to put his " run away " attitude totally away now - or he will regret it for the rest of the days that HP allows him. This was definitely not the time to somehow patiently wait until he was ready to come out of that cave. It was time for him to stand up and be my white knight!!! So, for now, the news is much better. He actually gave me a surprising and warm kiss on his way out to his meeting tonight!! Thanks to everyone for your understanding and support. I truly have the highest regard for all of you!!!! Gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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