Gratitude for a new year and for helpful resources

[Guest guest]

Greetings and Happy New Year, This is my first posting to this group, so I'd like to start by thanking the moderators and contributors who provide and sustain this remarkable resource. It is reassuring to have information that empowers and explains this peculiar and distressing condition.

It's always heartwarming to see people reaching out, comforting each other and offering companionship and guidance on this difficult path.

I'd like to share two free online resources that I've found particularly helpful:

Daily Strength offers a range of support groups [na, maybe you could find a teen group that would help you with the overwhelming feelings?] There is an active support group for tinnutus, and an inactive one for misophonia.

Perhaps a way of spreading the word over there would be to duplicate some of the information provided here?

The other resource is the series of free downloadable podcasts from Tara Brach. While she does not specifically address misophonia, she explores how anxiety becomes a " trance " state that requires very conscious compassionate attention. 

The guided meditations and teaching talks really help me to manage this and other conditions. Since listening to them and practising mindfulness for the last two years I've had a significant improvement in my distress levels. They are also available on itunes: 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tara-brach/id265264862

Now for an introduction about me: I am a classically trained musician that played bassoon in the orchestra. I thought my auditory baggage was on account of being a highly strung creative type. For the ten years I've been with my husband I have been politely requesting him to stop banging his fork on his teeth. I've always tried to make light of it, saying, " I love your teeth, so please don't knock them out, " and, " I want you to live to be 100, with all your teeth, so go easy with that fork ... "

Admittedly, my condition is mild, mostly. When it escalates it's an indicator that other stuff in my life is out of control, e.g. work deadlines too close, family worries, my therapist on annual leave... 

Today I re-opened the discussion about the noise he makes while eating, saying, " This is not about you, to be honest. Even though I express concern about your dental health, this is actually all about me. That noise distress me. Actually, I don't give a sh!t about your teeth. It would be better for me if you had not a tooth in your head because then I wouldn't have to listen to that wretched noise. "

" Okay, " he said, " I get it. " And the rest of the meal was easier.

Perhaps I shall set the table with a pair of pliers between us in future and at the first ping of his fork on tooth enamel I will pick them up and say, " Shall I pull them out, or will you? "  

There are two other sound torments that fortunately occurs rarely: his nose-blowing, maybe once a week, and if he holds a tissue or paper serviette in his hand and crumples it. For this, I actually have to reach over and touch his hand to remind him to stop. Or I yell across the room. This is the one sound I absolutely cannot endure so we have cloth napkins.

I give thanks that my kids are quiet eaters and that my husband is a most accommodating soul.

On a more serious note, I feel deeply for those who suffer relentlessly and are prompted to self-harm or suicide. I wish for everyone in this group that you find soothing and containment for your distress in 2011. 

Don't give up. There is help out there. Keep seeking it and keep practising the techniques that make a difference. And to those who do the work of advocacy, thank you so much for the time and effort you put into it. This, too, is a way of healing oneself.

Warm wishes,Liesl