Is it worse when it could be worse?

[Guest guest]

Clearly, there are many levels of BPD, as everyone is different. With

me, my mother never said " I hate you " or " I wish you were never born "

or " You make me sick " , but she would LOOK at me like she hated me.

Stare with this intensity of hatred and disgust.

She never saw I had a broken ankle and refused to take me to the

doctor, but when I woke up and couldn't move my arm, she made me wait

until her 30 minute phone call was over to look at me even though I

was crying. And when I awoke from anesthesia for the first time after

wisdom teeth removal and was groggy and confused, she yelled at me all

the way to the car door and all the way home. I was confused and too

slow moving for her. Most people would react with kindness!

She didn't beat me, but when I was 10 and she was curling my hair, I

had the nerve to say " ouch " as she was burning me and her response was

to pull my hair and get in my face and tell me to shut the hell up.

As I cried, she continued curling, making sure she did burn my scalp

and that I was to say nothing of it! We were headed to a funeral, and

I cried for 2 hours once this incident started, I was so deeply hurt

by her nastiness and obvious hatred towards me.

So, do any of you have a hard time with a BP parent who was able to

stay within the boundaries of *obvious* cruelty? Do you think that

makes it difficult for others to understand your consequently intense

anger/hatred/resentment towards her as you become an adult?