Re: scared

November 12, 1999

Oh another thing I was thinking of an forgot to say is that Phil has been

infection free for 7 months and I'm scared that the ball will drop at any moment

and am having a hard time focusing on the goodness of him being well.

Peg

WYBEAR21@... wrote:

> Peg,

> I guess what " freaks " me out the most, is the fact that I was in

> " remission " for about 2 months, and everything is moving so quickly. It

> wasn't very long ago that my Dr. told me that I may even be able to live with

> my own liver for 10 years. (He said this less than 3 months ago). I have

> said several times, that denial is a wonderful thing, and I lived my life by

> that. But, now... when it's time to see the transplant team, denial is no

> longer an option. I know that I'm tired of feeling the way I do, I know that

> I can't keep going on like this.... but God help me, I don't know how to deal

> with this. I'm sure I'll get the strength when the time comes. God always

> provides me with it somehow. Maybe I'm worrying too much over it. It was

> just bittersweet news. Good, because and end to feeling like this could be

> in the future, but bad because it means facing reality, and it's also a new

> phase in life. I will get through this, and I'm sure I will do it with ya'll

> by my " side " . Please be patient with me, I'm trying to work this all out,

> and to be " okay " with it. I'm not at all depressed about it, I really am

> just scared. There's so many issues that run through your head when you

> think of getting a transplant, I'm sure that I don't have to type them out,

> all of you have thought about them also. Thanks so very much for everyone's

> encouraging words, and prayers. I'm always praying for each and every one of

> you!

> Love,

>

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