This might not be the brightest of ideas

[Guest guest]

But I have made a decision...I'm going to sue the county I live in.

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first baby

adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted ever...the

first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior to mine was done

either through an adoption agency or through a church or non-profit adoption

program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think I have pieced together

that my biological mother is either my mother's sister or my father's sister.

Nada will not give me ANY information about my adoption at all...now this is a

woman who is incapable of keeping any information to herself so the only way she

wouldn't spill the beans is if the other party was someone related to her

somehow. Additionally, the very little bit of information she has given me has

contradicted itself...she told me once that my birth mother's parents made her

give me up and then in the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I

existed. There is much more but here is

where I decided that I'm going to sue the county...I'm sure that my birth

mother must be a family member because my father's side of the family has a very

lengthy history of mental illness....what agency would give a baby to someone

who has a family history like that? The only way they would do it is if that

child would be a part of that very same family either way...I figure if I sue

the county then at the very least my records would finally be unsealed in order

for the county to defend itself. It's a win-win...at the very least it will

expose them for the sick individuals that they are...their dark little secrets

will be exposed and they will be forced to deal with it...maybe at the very

least it will force the county to come up with some sort of policy that will

keep another child from being placed with a family with mental illness

histories. I know nada....her image is everything...if this hits the way I think

it will she will move the heck out of dodge to avoid it

all. That makes things even better because then I don't have to move now...she

will!

What have I missed? Am I just being way too optimistic about all of this? The

only thing that makes me hesitate is the fact that I can't find a single thing

that can go wrong...and when things seem too good to be true, they usually are.

I don't know...they have managed to work the system thus far...maybe it's

unreasonable to hope that the system would work for me when we can't even manage

to get them to uphold an order of protection. It all just seems right to

me...have I completely lost it?

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

I thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find out

who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how much I know

about the system)

Jackie

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first

baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted

ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior

to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a church or

non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think

I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my mother's

sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY information about

my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of keeping any

information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the beans is if

the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally, the very

little bit of information she has given me has contradicted itself...she

told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up and then in

the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

[Guest guest]

I thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find out

who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how much I know

about the system)

Jackie

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first

baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted

ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior

to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a church or

non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think

I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my mother's

sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY information about

my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of keeping any

information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the beans is if

the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally, the very

little bit of information she has given me has contradicted itself...she

told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up and then in

the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

[Guest guest]

I thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find out

who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how much I know

about the system)

Jackie

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first

baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted

ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior

to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a church or

non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think

I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my mother's

sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY information about

my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of keeping any

information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the beans is if

the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally, the very

little bit of information she has given me has contradicted itself...she

told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up and then in

the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

[Guest guest]

I thought so too so back in 1995 when my son died I went to get the information

(I was 26 then) and was denied because the records were sealed for the long

haul. I explained to them that the reason for wanting the information was

because my son had died from SIDS and I wanted to pass the information along to

any sibling I may have so that they could protect any of their children. They

explained that due to the " special circumstances " (that's all they would tell

me) my only hope was to write a letter to the judge who sealed my records and

explain the situation and request the information be passed on, on my behalf. I

did just that and my request was denied. I was told (with no explanation) that a

letter on my behalf was redundant. (Which is another reason why I think it has

to be a family member...I can't think of another situation that would make

notification redundant) The judge who oversaw my adoption was also very good

friends of my parents....he has since passed away

so I am hoping that maybe if I get another judge I will get more of an

explanation.

Upon doing research on this I found that typically the magic number for getting

things unsealed is 35 years...I'm now 38 so I'm hoping maybe I have a different

result...but according to many of the websites most people in my situation

(records being sealed under " special circumstances " ) have their requests denied.

There has been alot of work done to get the laws changed, but until it does I

think the only shot at getting the records unsealed is to sue them. (Which would

tick me off to no end...if some moron who represents the county can get them

unsealed when my request was denied for medical reasons I'm going to be hopping

mad.)

I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm scared to death

to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at me to move forward.

If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all wars...yikes. I

dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to keep my kids from getting

caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13) My fear is that one of them will

die before I do this...I want them to have to face it...I want to force them to

answer for their behavior.

sleddog wrote: I thought, by

law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find out

who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how much I know

about the system)

Jackie

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first

baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted

ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior

to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a church or

non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think

I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my mother's

sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY information about

my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of keeping any

information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the beans is if

the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally, the very

little bit of information she has given me has contradicted itself...she

told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up and then in

the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

good luck to you. I think it's a terrible law to permantly seal records so

you can never find out about yourself....it's YOU, who more should get to

know ??

Jackie

I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm scared to

death to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at me to move

forward. If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all

wars...yikes. I dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to keep my

kids from getting caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13) My fear is

that one of them will die before I do this...I want them to have to face

it...I want to force them to answer for their behavior.

[Guest guest]

Getting adoption records unsealed is very very hard. My mom tired for ten years

and couldn't get it done untill she hired a private detective.

Lilly

Beach Bunny wrote:

I thought so too so back in 1995 when my son died I went to get the

information (I was 26 then) and was denied because the records were sealed for

the long haul. I explained to them that the reason for wanting the information

was because my son had died from SIDS and I wanted to pass the information along

to any sibling I may have so that they could protect any of their children. They

explained that due to the " special circumstances " (that's all they would tell

me) my only hope was to write a letter to the judge who sealed my records and

explain the situation and request the information be passed on, on my behalf. I

did just that and my request was denied. I was told (with no explanation) that a

letter on my behalf was redundant. (Which is another reason why I think it has

to be a family member...I can't think of another situation that would make

notification redundant) The judge who oversaw my adoption was also very good

friends of my parents....he has since

passed away

so I am hoping that maybe if I get another judge I will get more of an

explanation.

Upon doing research on this I found that typically the magic number for getting

things unsealed is 35 years...I'm now 38 so I'm hoping maybe I have a different

result...but according to many of the websites most people in my situation

(records being sealed under " special circumstances " ) have their requests denied.

There has been alot of work done to get the laws changed, but until it does I

think the only shot at getting the records unsealed is to sue them. (Which would

tick me off to no end...if some moron who represents the county can get them

unsealed when my request was denied for medical reasons I'm going to be hopping

mad.)

I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm scared to death

to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at me to move forward.

If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all wars...yikes. I

dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to keep my kids from getting

caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13) My fear is that one of them will

die before I do this...I want them to have to face it...I want to force them to

answer for their behavior.

sleddog wrote: I thought, by law, you were allowed to see

your birth records and find out

who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how much I know

about the system)

Jackie

I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very first

baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby adopted

ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the adoptions prior

to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a church or

non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of all I think

I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my mother's

sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY information about

my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of keeping any

information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the beans is if

the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally, the very

little bit of information she has given me has contradicted itself...she

told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up and then in

the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

I read this post and did not realize that this process was so

complicated and throw in the family issues and it is alot.

You said something significant in your post, you said your little

voice is saying to move foward. Listen to your inner voice, that is

where your truths lie and what you are seeking. Stay strong.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Malinda

I

thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find

out

> who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how

much I know

> about the system)

>

> Jackie

>

> I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very

first

> baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby

adopted

> ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the

adoptions prior

> to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a

church or

> non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of

all I think

> I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my

mother's

> sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY

information about

> my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of

keeping any

> information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the

beans is if

> the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally,

the very

> little bit of information she has given me has contradicted

itself...she

> told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up

and then in

> the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Kisses and Nibbles,

>

> Bunny

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree; listen to the little voice!

Especially if your family has a history of mental illness, you would

definitely want to know that information.

What would you sue the county for exactly? Mental anguish for them

letting Nada adopt you to begin with? Or just sue them to open your

records? Perhaps, before you sue, go ahead and try to get the info

again without a lawsuit, since you said the circumstances have changed

(you're older, and the judge is dead). Could you get any info out of

other family members?

The only reservation I might have for you is; Can you afford this?

You don't have to tell us your financial situation, but you'll want to

think that part over yourself. I'd have no idea how much that type of

lawsuit might cost, but if you have 2 kids you may be sending to

college in a few years, (even though student loans are the better way

to go anyways) I'd discuss it with them first.

Overall, Bunny, you've got the most interesting posts! You should

start your own blog, because you tell stories wonderfully & you have

the most interesting stuff happen, and you're an inspiration the way

you make the best of it!

I

> thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find

> out

> > who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how

> much I know

> > about the system)

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very

> first

> > baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby

> adopted

> > ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the

> adoptions prior

> > to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a

> church or

> > non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of

> all I think

> > I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my

> mother's

> > sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY

> information about

> > my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of

> keeping any

> > information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the

> beans is if

> > the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally,

> the very

> > little bit of information she has given me has contradicted

> itself...she

> > told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up

> and then in

> > the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Kisses and Nibbles,

> >

> > Bunny

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I agree; listen to the little voice!

Especially if your family has a history of mental illness, you would

definitely want to know that information.

What would you sue the county for exactly? Mental anguish for them

letting Nada adopt you to begin with? Or just sue them to open your

records? Perhaps, before you sue, go ahead and try to get the info

again without a lawsuit, since you said the circumstances have changed

(you're older, and the judge is dead). Could you get any info out of

other family members?

The only reservation I might have for you is; Can you afford this?

You don't have to tell us your financial situation, but you'll want to

think that part over yourself. I'd have no idea how much that type of

lawsuit might cost, but if you have 2 kids you may be sending to

college in a few years, (even though student loans are the better way

to go anyways) I'd discuss it with them first.

Overall, Bunny, you've got the most interesting posts! You should

start your own blog, because you tell stories wonderfully & you have

the most interesting stuff happen, and you're an inspiration the way

you make the best of it!

I

> thought, by law, you were allowed to see your birth records and find

> out

> > who your birth parents were when you turned 18 ( shows you how

> much I know

> > about the system)

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > I'm adopted...as a matter of fact according to nada I was the very

> first

> > baby adopted through the county we live in. (Not the first baby

> adopted

> > ever...the first baby adopted through the county...all the

> adoptions prior

> > to mine was done either through an adoption agency or through a

> church or

> > non-profit adoption program) So here are my thoughts...first of

> all I think

> > I have pieced together that my biological mother is either my

> mother's

> > sister or my father's sister. Nada will not give me ANY

> information about

> > my adoption at all...now this is a woman who is incapable of

> keeping any

> > information to herself so the only way she wouldn't spill the

> beans is if

> > the other party was someone related to her somehow. Additionally,

> the very

> > little bit of information she has given me has contradicted

> itself...she

> > told me once that my birth mother's parents made her give me up

> and then in

> > the very next breath told me that they didn't even know I existed.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Kisses and Nibbles,

> >

> > Bunny

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I agree that you should listen to your inner voice but you should

also listen to your attorney. I would try having your attorney write

a letter to include with your letter so they know that if the

records stay sealed you will be pursuing the matter. Having them

write a letter is far less costly than having them start a legal

battle. Having been involved in lawsuits I can tell you that even if

you win they are exhausting and frustrating and darn expensive.

Barb

>

> good luck to you. I think it's a terrible law to permantly seal

records so

> you can never find out about yourself....it's YOU, who more should

get to

> know ??

>

> Jackie

>

> I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm

scared to

> death to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at

me to move

> forward. If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all

> wars...yikes. I dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to

keep my

> kids from getting caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13)

My fear is

> that one of them will die before I do this...I want them to have

to face

> it...I want to force them to answer for their behavior.

>

[Guest guest]

I agree that you should listen to your inner voice but you should

also listen to your attorney. I would try having your attorney write

a letter to include with your letter so they know that if the

records stay sealed you will be pursuing the matter. Having them

write a letter is far less costly than having them start a legal

battle. Having been involved in lawsuits I can tell you that even if

you win they are exhausting and frustrating and darn expensive.

Barb

>

> good luck to you. I think it's a terrible law to permantly seal

records so

> you can never find out about yourself....it's YOU, who more should

get to

> know ??

>

> Jackie

>

> I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm

scared to

> death to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at

me to move

> forward. If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all

> wars...yikes. I dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to

keep my

> kids from getting caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13)

My fear is

> that one of them will die before I do this...I want them to have

to face

> it...I want to force them to answer for their behavior.

>

[Guest guest]

I agree that you should listen to your inner voice but you should

also listen to your attorney. I would try having your attorney write

a letter to include with your letter so they know that if the

records stay sealed you will be pursuing the matter. Having them

write a letter is far less costly than having them start a legal

battle. Having been involved in lawsuits I can tell you that even if

you win they are exhausting and frustrating and darn expensive.

Barb

>

> good luck to you. I think it's a terrible law to permantly seal

records so

> you can never find out about yourself....it's YOU, who more should

get to

> know ??

>

> Jackie

>

> I'm waiting to hear from my attorney. This is tough because I'm

scared to

> death to proceed but this little voice in my head is screaming at

me to move

> forward. If this backfires it's going to be the war to end all

> wars...yikes. I dunno....maybe I should wait a couple of years to

keep my

> kids from getting caught in the crossfire. (They are 16 and 13)

My fear is

> that one of them will die before I do this...I want them to have

to face

> it...I want to force them to answer for their behavior.

>