chemical sensitivity

[Guest guest]

i bought that organic body lotion for my sister yesterday because she is home

for the summer. and she came home last night and was wearing her other body

lotion and got it all over the dog. this happens all the time if i let him near

her. i had my door cracked open and i didnt catch him in time. so i had to

give him at bath at 11:30 at night and was not happy and just threw a towel

against the wall. today i woke up and there is the paper open to the available

apartments, which really pissed me off.

i probably just wasted 7 dollars for nothing. she isnt going to use the organic

body lotion if she doesnt feel like it. and when am i going to know when that

is. also, my dog is a family and social dog and gets depressed if he is around

just one person. but, i dont have a choice now. my sister will pet him no

matter what and she is around all time. so i have to deal with that as well.

they think my chemical sensitivity thing is a joke. they think im just totally

exaggerating it. but, i feel a lot of rage when i smell that stuff and i really

have to watch it or i will hurt someone. among other symptoms. its a lot of

pain and work to hold those feelings in. i thought it might not be chemical

sensitivity and just sensitivity from my brain being so raw. but, when i smelled

the organic stuff it didnt bother me. so my guess is im chemically sensitive.

i know that answer to this is move out. but, im still not ready. i have moments

now where i could function, but then a lot of times where i cant. my brain can

only handle so much and then it gets sensitive like it was all the time before.

i also get really fatigued if i do too much work, i have to go rest for a

while.

also, yesterday was the first day i didnt eat any sugar based product: candy,

ice cream, cereal, cookies, etc... i dont plan on doing it again. at least,

very often. i was proably able to do this a couple months ago without severe

agitation, but i had to break the its okay to do habit--- using it as a comfort

food. im also able to go to bed at night now. i would have been asleep by 12

last night, but the thing with my sister kept my up later. its nice to feel

sleepy tired again.

jason