Re: Children with 4s

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm glad to hear you're arranging therapy for your daughter, as a sufferer of 4S

I think it will really help her and as you said, you've found this out quite

early on. I've had this for the last 5 years and my family still haven't

completely accepted it, which has led to it becoming worse over the years. One

thing I would recommend is to ask her how she wants to control the situation.

Whilst she needs to be desensitised to her trigger sounds, it's important for

her to feel that home is her " safe place " . If she knows you're helping her and

understand it then she will begin to relax around you and eventually become

ready to start recovering. Please keep us posted on how the treatment goes, I'd

be interested to try something like this as my counsellors have never been able

to help me with the condition.

P.S You said in an earlier post that your daughter yells at you and calls you

names. Whilst I don't vocalise these to my mother, I do feel the same. But I

don't hate her, I'm just angry because I can't control it and feel like it's

been done deliberately, and I'm sure your daughter feels the same. Just give her

the coping mechanisms that she needs and things will be a lot different. Good

luck x

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm glad to hear you're arranging therapy for your daughter, as a sufferer of 4S

I think it will really help her and as you said, you've found this out quite

early on. I've had this for the last 5 years and my family still haven't

completely accepted it, which has led to it becoming worse over the years. One

thing I would recommend is to ask her how she wants to control the situation.

Whilst she needs to be desensitised to her trigger sounds, it's important for

her to feel that home is her " safe place " . If she knows you're helping her and

understand it then she will begin to relax around you and eventually become

ready to start recovering. Please keep us posted on how the treatment goes, I'd

be interested to try something like this as my counsellors have never been able

to help me with the condition.

P.S You said in an earlier post that your daughter yells at you and calls you

names. Whilst I don't vocalise these to my mother, I do feel the same. But I

don't hate her, I'm just angry because I can't control it and feel like it's

been done deliberately, and I'm sure your daughter feels the same. Just give her

the coping mechanisms that she needs and things will be a lot different. Good

luck x

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm glad to hear you're arranging therapy for your daughter, as a sufferer of 4S

I think it will really help her and as you said, you've found this out quite

early on. I've had this for the last 5 years and my family still haven't

completely accepted it, which has led to it becoming worse over the years. One

thing I would recommend is to ask her how she wants to control the situation.

Whilst she needs to be desensitised to her trigger sounds, it's important for

her to feel that home is her " safe place " . If she knows you're helping her and

understand it then she will begin to relax around you and eventually become

ready to start recovering. Please keep us posted on how the treatment goes, I'd

be interested to try something like this as my counsellors have never been able

to help me with the condition.

P.S You said in an earlier post that your daughter yells at you and calls you

names. Whilst I don't vocalise these to my mother, I do feel the same. But I

don't hate her, I'm just angry because I can't control it and feel like it's

been done deliberately, and I'm sure your daughter feels the same. Just give her

the coping mechanisms that she needs and things will be a lot different. Good

luck x

[Guest guest]

I would just like to say first and foremost how luck your daughter is to have a

mother like you who doesn't dismiss her and her issues. I started at age 7 (I

am 24 now), and it was always " you're just trying to control people, you have

control issues..it's for attention, etc. You can't have any idea how much it

hurts to hear your family say that, and how infuriating it is b/c it is not true

in the least.

As far as I can gather, there is no cure for this. I grapple with that

constantly now and sometimes it leaves me feeling hopeless. Your daughter needs

to get headphones and an mp3 plaeyr (I don't find earplugs work at all...they

only muffle sound, they don't cut it out completely which would be the only

solution). The headphones will cut out the chewing noise, and tell her not to

be embarrassed to wear them around everywhere. I know it can be exhausting

listening to music ALL the time, but I know it's the only thing that keeps me

sane.

As for her trying to kill herself, my prayers are with you. I have definitely

considered it, although I have never tried. I usually fantasize more about

deafening myself, surgically or something.

The bottom line is that she is lucky to have you, and you're a good person for

being patient with her. She is normal (as far as people like us go), and I find

it's near impossible to cope with the sound, so it's best just to try to avoid

it as best as she can. Tell her there are people who also have this, I found

that helped me. To know that at least one other person understood was

uplifting.

>

> I am the mother of a 13 year old daughter who has 4s. My daughter's started

about age 8 and I am the trigger person. She can't be around me. It started

with the sound of my cough(I have sinus problems and mild asthma) She has asthma

too and coughs all the time. She now doens't like when I clear my throat,

swallow or the sound of my voice. she hears wheezing when I do all of these

things. She tells me she hates me and wants me to die. When she is calm she has

explained to me it's the problem she wants to die not me. It is so hard to

parent my daughter when the sound of my own voice sets her off. We have always

been extremely close with a great relationship but now I can't talk to her

anymore. When she is home she wears headphones or puts her music or TV on very

very loud so she doesn't hear me. She feels bad about it and so guilty

because she wants to hurt me when she hears me. Her anger is so scary and she

hits me all the time. I am actually terrified of the her. My daughter also

isolates herself in her room. I also isolate myself. I am afraid to be home

alone with her anymore. She is paranoid that I clear my throat or cough even

if I don't. She is starting to hear it all the time. A million times a day,

she'll say " Did you cough? " " Did you clear your throat? " I have to say " I swear

to God, I didn't " otherwise she gets angry. She is also becoming OCD about it:

if I go into a room, she follows me to shut the door. I am emotionally and

physically drained. Her temper has now escalated to hitting, biting and choking

me. She can not stand to live like this anymore. She has been in therapy but

it didn't help at all. She has stayed at family and friends house just to stay

away from me. She also has stayed at a crisis center just to be away. She

rather be there then in at her own home hurting me. She has tried to kill

herself many times, She attempted in May and was hospitalized for it. No one

could figure out what was wrong with her. The sadest part about it all is that

she has been laughed at by doctor's. When they released her from the hospital

the only thing they told me was that she had to learned coping skills...what do

you think she has been trying to do? For a while I would try to tickle her when

she was getting angry or sway her side to side...which actually distracted her

and helped. She is much bigger then me now so swaying her is hard to do by

myself. I know these things sound silly but I would do anything if it helped

her. She doesn't want to go to school anymore and misses a day or two a week.

We had her on all different types of medicine but they all made her worse. Even

though I am the trigger person I am the only one who is patient with her. My

husband has the same problem but can't deal with her. He tries but eventually

says something that makes her feel worse. He also can't stand to see her hurt

me. I myself know it's the problem and not her. I have so much patience with

her and the only one who will talk to her about it but I'm also the

trigger.(There is a small window I can still talk to her but then eventually she

gets stressed and anxious and it ends) She was up all last night feeling so

angry towards my voice and so depressed. Not many people know about her

problem and everyone thinks she is so wonderful.(which she is) She does well in

school, does great in sports and is so talented. I don't know if I should move

out so she can be calm. We are a loving family but this problem is breaking up

our family. My older daughter can't take it anymore. All three of them have

had it.(my 2 daughers and my husband) I am the only one who won't give up but I

don't know where to turn anymore. My daughter doesn't have any health insurance

so I am at a dead end. I am grateful for this message board and can't believe

others have the same problem. So many people told me she was just trying to

control me since other people's coughs didn't have the same effect. We are so

lost. She hates herself and I just want some releif for her before it's too

late.

>

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your daughter. I have had a lot of trouble with the medications myself, many made me worse. The one I am on now Celexa helps with the anxiety and depression, which helping those things, makes the 4s more manageable. I also do not have mental health coverage on my insurance plan, but am able to buy the generic form Citalopram at Walgreens thru the prescription drug care program for very minimal cost. Other places have generic drug programs like this for people who don't have insurance. Before the celexa, because I was unable to take the newer SSRI drugs, my Doctor put me on an older anti-depressant tricyclic, imipramine, which helped pull me back from the brink. Also I was able to take elavil, another tricyclic along with xanax which can also

help, though taking xanax long term worsened the depression. These can also be purchased inexpensively. Her situation sounds very desperate which is why I am listing the drugs. If you are near a medical school sometimes they have clinics where you can get medical help at reduced costs if you are under a certain income level. I have taken advantage of this too, its just a long wait for the appointment.Here is a free sound file for broadband noise, http://whitenoisemp3s.com/free-white-noise Maybe the pink noise piped thru headphones would help her to be able to be able to listen to you when you talk to her. Or can you write notes to each other. Some people have been helped some by diet, the Gaps diet or Selective Carbohydrate Diet, although their cases were not as severe as your daughters. Maybe reading on this message board would be helpful to her, so she

doesn't feel so alone. Thank you so much for sticking by her!!! I'm sure people here will have other suggestions for you as well.MaikaeferTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Mon, November 22, 2010 9:10:55 AMSubject: Children with 4s

I am the mother of a 13 year old daughter who has 4s. My daughter's started about age 8 and I am the trigger person. She can't be around me. It started with the sound of my cough(I have sinus problems and mild asthma) She has asthma too and coughs all the time. She now doens't like when I clear my throat, swallow or the sound of my voice. she hears wheezing when I do all of these things. She tells me she hates me and wants me to die. When she is calm she has explained to me it's the problem she wants to die not me. It is so hard to parent my daughter when the sound of my own voice sets her off. We have always been extremely close with a great relationship but now I can't talk to her anymore. When she is home she wears headphones or puts her music or TV on very very loud so she doesn't hear me. She feels bad about it and so guilty because she wants to hurt me when she hears me. Her anger is so scary and she hits me all the time. I am

actually terrified of the her. My daughter also isolates herself in her room. I also isolate myself. I am afraid to be home alone with her anymore. She is paranoid that I clear my throat or cough even if I don't. She is starting to hear it all the time. A million times a day, she'll say "Did you cough?" "Did you clear your throat?" I have to say "I swear to God, I didn't" otherwise she gets angry. She is also becoming OCD about it: if I go into a room, she follows me to shut the door. I am emotionally and physically drained. Her temper has now escalated to hitting, biting and choking me. She can not stand to live like this anymore. She has been in therapy but it didn't help at all. She has stayed at family and friends house just to stay away from me. She also has stayed at a crisis center just to be away. She rather be there then in at her own home hurting me. She has tried to kill herself many times, She attempted in May and was

hospitalized for it. No one could figure out what was wrong with her. The sadest part about it all is that she has been laughed at by doctor's. When they released her from the hospital the only thing they told me was that she had to learned coping skills...what do you think she has been trying to do? For a while I would try to tickle her when she was getting angry or sway her side to side...which actually distracted her and helped. She is much bigger then me now so swaying her is hard to do by myself. I know these things sound silly but I would do anything if it helped her. She doesn't want to go to school anymore and misses a day or two a week. We had her on all different types of medicine but they all made her worse. Even though I am the trigger person I am the only one who is patient with her. My husband has the same problem but can't deal with her. He tries but eventually says something that makes her feel worse. He also can't stand to see

her hurt me. I myself know it's the problem and not her. I have so much patience with her and the only one who will talk to her about it but I'm also the trigger.(There is a small window I can still talk to her but then eventually she gets stressed and anxious and it ends) She was up all last night feeling so angry towards my voice and so depressed. Not many people know about her problem and everyone thinks she is so wonderful.(which she is) She does well in school, does great in sports and is so talented. I don't know if I should move out so she can be calm. We are a loving family but this problem is breaking up our family. My older daughter can't take it anymore. All three of them have had it.(my 2 daughers and my husband) I am the only one who won't give up but I don't know where to turn anymore. My daughter doesn't have any health insurance so I am at a dead end. I am grateful for this message board and can't believe others have the same

problem. So many people told me she was just trying to control me since other people's coughs didn't have the same effect. We are so lost. She hates herself and I just want some releif for her before it's too late.