Re: Text stalking

[Guest guest]

Don't take the bait!!! In my experience with my nada, she just want to get your

attention so you'll call. Does your sister have contact? Maybe you could have

her ask what's up and then tell you. That way your nada can't pull you back in.

Or is there a way you can call your Dad without her around to find out?

She might reply to an e-mail, but to me this sounds like a trap. I understand

your curiousity and I'd be having a helluva time not calling back, but that's

probably the last thing you should do. Stay strong!!

Jae

" A. B. " wrote: So,

I've been pretty much NC with Nada for a little over a year now.

She's always been fairly high functioning, but I think she's gotten

worse in the last year, since I've refused to sweep things under the

rug and insist upon confronting things head on.

Basically, a year ago my sisters and I found out about this whole

other life she'd been living via phone and internet. She'd created

fictional characters, using my and my sister's life experiences, some

really sick stuff she made up herself, and our pictures. She even

stole my artwork (I was a sculptor for a while) and sent them to

these guys she was 'dating' and claimed they were hers. This

triggered my NC, after several months of drama. Since then, I've

refused to move back to Oz, so to speak, which has caused my

relationship with my father to suffer, since he consistently prefers

her reality to mine. My rule- she is to know nothing about me or my

life. If she gets help, I will consider working on some sort of

contact, but not before then. It's sort of funny, she was the one to

tell me about BPD. She went to one therapy session and was diagnosed.

But for her, it's one more reason for us all to pity her and an

excuse not to take responsiblity for anything. So now, she can add

BPD to Lupus, Cancer, being adopted, etc etc. (I have no idea if any

of the others are true.)

To make a long story short, she has generally respected my NC, except

for the fact that she can't resist texting or leaving weepy messages

on special occasions, like my graduation, birthday. Or when my

college team won the national championship. I don't have her phone

number- because seeing it in my cell directory would piss me off

daily. Last night, an unknown number from her city called. Twice.

Then texted a '?' at 5am. Then called twice again this morning.

Finally, I texted 'who is this?' this morning. 20 minutes later, I

got a text back, 'who is this?'. Like she's not been calling me? My

sisters confirmed that it was her. She knows it's my number. Sister

doesn't know of any family emergency, and if there was one, I'd think

she'd leave a message.

Generally, I've been very good at cutting her out of my life. we've

always had a fake mother-daughter relationship anyway, and it's sort

of a relief to be able to be honest finally. But for some reason, I'm

really fighting the urge to call her back. Why do you think that is?

If I e-mail her, she probably won't write back. I can't seem to put

it down. I'm really dying to know what's up, but at the same time,

maybe I'm just thinking of calling because life has been really great

lately, and some sick part of me needs the chaos. What should I do?

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[Guest guest]

Jae-

Thanks for the input. I agree, she's probably just trying to bait me.

I finally texted to ask what she wanted, and she replied with some sort

of BS about how she didn't know it was my number. Like my outgoing

message wasn't a clue, or that it would make sense to repeatedly

message and call a number she didn't know. At any rate, she ended

with, " Please don't contact me, and I'll not contact you. " As if she

was the one who wanted NC. For some reason it really upset me to read

that. I guess I'm not as over everything as I'd thought I was. I

mean, it's not that I want to call her, but I guess some part of me

still wishes I had a mother to call when things get hard. Grr.

[Guest guest]

Call your cell-phone company and have that number blocked from texting

you. I'm pretty certain you can have specific numbers blocked, since

you're stuck paying the $0.10 every time you receive a text message.

And tell your sister that you've blocked her calls and that only she

should contact you in case of a family emergency.

>

>

> Jae-

>

> Thanks for the input. I agree, she's probably just trying to bait me.

> I finally texted to ask what she wanted, and she replied with some sort

> of BS about how she didn't know it was my number. Like my outgoing

> message wasn't a clue, or that it would make sense to repeatedly

> message and call a number she didn't know. At any rate, she ended

> with, " Please don't contact me, and I'll not contact you. " As if she

> was the one who wanted NC. For some reason it really upset me to read

> that. I guess I'm not as over everything as I'd thought I was. I

> mean, it's not that I want to call her, but I guess some part of me

> still wishes I had a mother to call when things get hard. Grr.

>