Re: Imogene/depression

[Guest guest]

Imogene, I did a little detective work. Jim's emotional cry for me not to

leave was because he was recently put on two new medications. It did tear me up

to hear him that way, but I knew this was not Jim's typical behavior, he is

generally up lifted, so I did some research on his new medications and found

that both of them can cause chest pains and a headache as a side effect. Jim had

complained of both chest pains and a headache and I know he was feeling icky and

thought he was dying, which caused him to act depressed. It wasn't actual

depression, it was his medications acting on him. I had one of the medications

removed, not the Coumadin, since he needs that to dissolve his blood clot and

Jim is no longer acting depressed now. He is back to his normal self and

actually better than before being put on the medication, which was an

anitbiotic, Microdantin, that I had requested in low dosage over an extended

period of time to hopefully protect Jim from

so many frequent UTIs. Sometimes the medications make them act depressed, so

instead of requesting an antidepressant for Jim, I looked into another direction

and looked into the new medications perscribed and they were the ones causing

him to act that way. All is resolved now.

Don't worry Imogene, stand by your guns like you did with your children when

they acted up. Don will spot weakness in you like your kids could and he will

act on you to manipulate you possibly. If he knows you mean business, he won't

keep acting emotional to get you to take him home if he should do that at all.

These LBDers are more bright than we give them credit for. Jim knows how to

manipulate me if I let him. He has acclimated now to the nh and doesn't mind

going there. He will go between home and nh with no problems. Imogene, I left

Jim in the nh for nearly a year, about 10 months, so he could get acclimated

before I started to bring him home. He bonded to some CNAs, Nurses and friends

and he likes to see them. He has his favorite CNAs and Nurses, some he has

personality conflicts with, so they give him other CNAs that he gets along with.

Everyday at the nh he amazes staff and they will come up to me and say, he

recognizes me, he said my name as if it was supposed to be shocking to me that

he could do that. I have been telling them all along, he knows what is going on,

he does not have Alzheimers and they act shocked as if all dementias are the

same. I tell them do not talk in front of him about dementia, he knows what you

are talking about. Today, a nurse said he asked for cake at lunch. She was

shocked that he could tell her what he wanted. It fluctuates Imogene and he will

communicate when he can. Since he has been on Coumadin, he has really been

communicating a lot and very clear lately. I don't know what the connection is,

but it sure is nice to hear him. I'm thinking maybe his blood is thinner and

getting to his brain. LOL This nurse was running up to me all surprised that he

could tell her what he wanted. They know exactly what they are doing and can be

manipulative too, but in

this case with Jim it was the medications acting on him making him seem

depressed and crying out for me not to leave, but he really wasn't depressed.

You know your Don's normal behaviors, just be aware when something is not his

typical self and then don't just take the surface answer, but think about if he

is on any new medications that can cause him to act out or if it is a UTI,

Pneumonia or any other thing that could cause him to act differently, don't fall

for the first cry. Look at it and examine it before you jump to conclusions.

Oh dear Imogene, I understand your emotions right now. If you are putting Don on

Medicaid have Don's daughter or you request the DON (Director of Nursing) to

write a request to Medicaid for Don to visit home on the weekends for

therapeutical reasons. Otherwise, Medicaid has a limited time that one can visit

home for overnighters and it is something like 18 days throughout a year. That

is very limited. The DON at Jim's nh wrote a request for Jim to have weekend

visits at home and Medicaid accepted it for therapeutical reasons, because the

nh staff could see a great improvement in Jim everytime he came home, including

the DON. The request needs to be written annually.

I am praying for you Imogene to be strong and hang in there. Things will seem so

much better after awhile. There is a great void now and it is emotional and it

will be for awhile, it's only natural to miss the one you love so much,  but it

gets better with time. You can come and chat with me anytime you feel you need

someone to talk to. I know you have lots of buddies to talk to here, but I am

available too. Are you on the Yahoo IM? I am on the IM (Individual Messaging)

and we can chat one on one there too. I am a night owl. I get home from the nh

between 10 and 10:30PM and I am usually online until about 1 or 2AM CA time.

That is 3 or 4AM your time, so if you are up and can't sleep, I will most likely

be here if you need to talk.

Huge Hugs...............Jan

Re: depression

Jan, I have just read this letter. That is exactly what I am  concerned about

with Don. If he says don't leave, or take me home, I might do  either one.

It tore me up to read your letter, because I know how I would have  felt, and

you love your Jim the way I love Don. I don't think I could stand it.

This disease is tearing everyone up one way or another. It is  horrid!

I am so sorry Jan.

Love you a lot,

Imogene

In a message dated 7/18/2008 10:32:11 AM Central Daylight Time, 

janetcolello@... writes:

Yesterday, I was visiting Jim at the nh. It's the first time I have  ever

seen him actually depressed.

Everything was as usual earlier in the  evening. I took him to an outdoor

concert in a shopping plaza that we go to  weekly. I pull up in a hanicap

parking

space right next to the concert. The  space has been there every week for us.

Amazing! I put the top down on the  convertible and we are right amongst the

concert. He enjoys it. We got back to  the nh after the concert and he got

ready for bed and fell asleep very fast.  It was around 8:30PM. I sit and read a

book next to his bed until around 10PM,  because almost like clock work around

9:30PM, he will wake up and have to go  to the bathroom. He will hold on for

as long as possible and he gets very  restless. I know if I wasn't there to

take him, he would hold on for a very  long time and then release in his diaper

and be in a wet diaper all night. I  think this helps to contribute to his

frequent UTIs, so I stay to bring  him to the toilet one last time before he

falls asleep for the night. He woke  up his usual

time around 9:30PM to go to the bathroom, so I took him in and  brought him

back to bed only this time he did not fall back to sleep.

He  was saying things like it was time for him to go and that he didn't want

to  leave me. I told him it's ok, I'll be fine but I will miss him and I  told

him I love him very much and he smiled and said, " thank you " He said  he felt

like crying. I told him it's ok to cry, but he didn't cry. He told me  he was

a coward and didn't want to leave this world. It went on like this for  a

good hour and a half. He didn't want me to walk out of the room and when I  told

him I have to go, it was then 11PM, he screamed for me to come back and  said,

" don't leave! "

Just yesterday, he was joking and laughing with  everyone. All the staff was

saying what a great mood he is in. Not just  yesterday, but the last few days.

Last night tore me apart to see him like  that. How this disease fluctuates!

If this continues he may have to be put on  an antidepressent.

I WILL NOT ALLOW ATIVAN and they already have that on  their charts at the

nh. What is recommended for LBD as an antidepressant? Is  Lexapro recommended? I

know it is not a benzodiazepine. If this kind of  behavior continues, I might

have to think of putting him on an  antidepressant.

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