Re: Nada says......

[Guest guest]

Well, despite the surprises, it sounds like you handled yourself well

in a LC event. I'm sorry to hear that your dad is ill. It's

amazing how much double or tripple stress us KO's go through. It's

enough to have one parent in IC without having to deal with the drama

of a second parent. I want to acknowledge that for you and wish you

good luck in the next couple of interactions.

I'm with you,

a

>

> I put myself in a situation today where I would come in contact with

> nada. My dad was in the hospital, my daughter was visiting me, and

> we went to see 'pop pop' in the hospital. Nada and my sister were

> already there. We had a nice visit with my dad, and then it was

> time to leave. We all left together. In the hospital lobby, nada

> gave my daughter a hug good bye. Then she said to me " I know you

> don't want me to, but I am going to hug you anyway " . (And she did -

> she might have felt like it was her 'hugging a porcupine'.) I will

> not allow this to happen again. It happened because I was

> unprepared, and as I have often said on this board, we cannot second

> guess and be prepared for every possible nada action.

>

> During the visit, I observed - nada being witty and joking with my

> dad and with the nurses (dad was in ICU). I knew this was all an

> act, and i knew that the people who didn't really know nada would

> think - 'What a pleasant person.' (Ugh, nada is far, far from

> pleasant!) She did a good job with her act of being normal, loving

> and supportive.

>

> I am not sure about my exact emotions right now. I discovered that

> I often disassociate when I am with her. But I think when I finally

> get in touch with my feelings, they won't be too bad. I think

> nada's statement of hugging me, even though she knew I didn't want

> to, was a good example of the whole dysfunction. To nada, it really

> doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or feels, she is still going

> to do what she wants, regardless. She would like me to 'return to

> the fold', but with even these minor interactions, she reinforces

> why I went no contact. She puts on a great act about being

> concerned about me, but the reality is, she doesn't care what I

> think, and she will do what she wants regardless of how I feel about

> it. Well, she could get away with that when I was a child, but she

> can't do it to me now (unless I allow it).

>

> Sylvia

>