Touchy subject, but looking for honest feedack

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors (eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be true that there are differing behaviors.

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum (especially so in a professional workplace)

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack their gum while chewing it

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to make distinctive smacking sounds while eating

I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear. However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not chewing gum or eating.

I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you (African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

-

[Guest guest]

,I have similar feelings, but do not generalize them to all African Americans. I have also noticed that my Jewish friends chew in a disgusting manner. Seriously, almost all of them! I've wondered if it's something that they do as part of their cultural identity. I almost posed that question to the group, but decided not to. My sometimes I feel like African Americans are purposefully trying to make me angry by chewing loudly. I know that's crazy, but I feel they think I'm some uppity white chick and they want to piss me off.DorothySent from my iPhone

Hi,

I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors (eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be true that there are differing behaviors.

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum (especially so in a professional workplace)

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack their gum while chewing it

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to make distinctive smacking sounds while eating

I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear. However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not chewing gum or eating.

I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you (African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

-

[Guest guest]

,

It takes someone bold to lay that out there for discussion.

I understand your point and don't see it as a judgment but as personal experience.

We all have different personal experiences. It doesn't mean a whole race or population is that way, but simply our personal experience.

I appreciate your honesty and boldness to ask.

We need to all be bold in asking questions, as we all have our own level of suffering and can use help to undertsnad others' perspectives.

Jim

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 4:20:01 PMSubject: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for honest feedack

,

I have similar feelings, but do not generalize them to all African Americans. I have also noticed that my Jewish friends chew in a disgusting manner. Seriously, almost all of them! I've wondered if it's something that they do as part of their cultural identity. I almost posed that question to the group, but decided not to. My sometimes I feel like African Americans are purposefully trying to make me angry by chewing loudly. I know that's crazy, but I feel they think I'm some uppity white chick and they want to piss me off.

DorothySent from my iPhone

Hi,

I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors (eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be true that there are differing behaviors.

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum (especially so in a professional workplace)

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack their gum while chewing it

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to make distinctive smacking sounds while eating

I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear. However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not chewing gum or eating.

I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you (African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

-

[Guest guest]

I work for a Jewish woman- the same I mentioned before. She is the biggest and the loudest smacking person I have ever met in my life: she smacks talking, especially when not sure what to say, smacking when eating, drinking water, and she s the loudest gum chewer in the whole world. She s my biggest trigger right after my mother. Her whole family is exactly the same, two of her kids developed smacking when speaking and they smack when they eat too. Her father, husband too. Her has a habit of blowing his nose in the middle if the meal.... And many many more noises. Have I mentioned that they r Jewish? Sent from my iPhone

,

It takes someone bold to lay that out there for discussion.

I understand your point and don't see it as a judgment but as personal experience.

We all have different personal experiences. It doesn't mean a whole race or population is that way, but simply our personal experience.

I appreciate your honesty and boldness to ask.

We need to all be bold in asking questions, as we all have our own level of suffering and can use help to undertsnad others' perspectives.

Jim

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 4:20:01 PMSubject: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for honest feedack

,

I have similar feelings, but do not generalize them to all African Americans. I have also noticed that my Jewish friends chew in a disgusting manner. Seriously, almost all of them! I've wondered if it's something that they do as part of their cultural identity. I almost posed that question to the group, but decided not to. My sometimes I feel like African Americans are purposefully trying to make me angry by chewing loudly. I know that's crazy, but I feel they think I'm some uppity white chick and they want to piss me off.

DorothySent from my iPhone

Hi,

I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors (eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be true that there are differing behaviors.

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum (especially so in a professional workplace)

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack their gum while chewing it

- I find that African Americans are much more likely to make distinctive smacking sounds while eating

I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear. However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not chewing gum or eating.

I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you (African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

-

[Guest guest]

, I have observed the same thing over the years. It's simply true.

Noticing something like that doesn't make you a bigot. Actually, I think it

takes courage to say something about it, and about how it affects you.

When I was a freshman in high school, I had to take a remedial math class. (I'm

terrible at numbers and always have been.) The great majority of my classmates

were black, and somehow those kids got it in their heads that they could

concentrate better as long as they had plenty of candy to eat. The wrapper

crinkling and popping, smacking sounds were off the charts on final exam day.

I'll never forget it.

[Guest guest]

Hey - Everyone here is right, there's absolutely no reason to feel bad for

simply noticing this...this group is to be honest and vent judgement free!!! I

actually have noticed a generalization as well. I noticed people from lower

socioeconomic status (poor people, essentially) make my trigger sound a lot more

than those from higher SES levels. I kind of feel bad for this, but I can't

help it. Especially when I go into places where a lot of people from lower SES

levels shop (like Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store), my trigger sound goes on like

crazy!!! It's just a pattern I've noticed..

[Guest guest]

I have cousins in DC, he's a gastroenterologist, the gut business is apparently quite good in the DC area.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Tue, January 11, 2011 9:04:45 AMSubject: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for

honest feedack

Actually, I've been in DC (this is my 3rd time) for 7 years now. I moved from Philly. I was in Atlanta post college (1983-1985).

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic

> >to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

> >

> > >

> > > It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't

> >let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions

> >to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute

> >personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors

> >(eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

> > >

> > > There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right

> >in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break

> >myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of

> >what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as

> >triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and

> >their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any

> >of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to

> >physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be

> >true that there are differing behaviors.

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum

> >(especially so in a professional workplace)

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack

> >their gum while chewing it

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to make

> >distinctive smacking sounds while eating

> > >

> > > I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see

> >someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear.

> >However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That

> >trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not

> >chewing gum or eating.

> > >

> > > I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you

> >are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of

> >relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you

> >(African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my

> >own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The

> >sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that

> >I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

> > >

> > > Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe

> >nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction

> >they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

> > >

> > > -

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have cousins in DC, he's a gastroenterologist, the gut business is apparently quite good in the DC area.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Tue, January 11, 2011 9:04:45 AMSubject: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for

honest feedack

Actually, I've been in DC (this is my 3rd time) for 7 years now. I moved from Philly. I was in Atlanta post college (1983-1985).

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > I am mostly a lurker to this group, but have found it therapeutic

> >to post things here when I don't really have any other outlet for them.

> >

> > >

> > > It's a personal flaw I am sure, but I categorize people and don't

> >let them out. I hold grudges and rarely allow my initial impressions/opinions

> >to change. I have many categories when it comes to my 4s triggers. I attribute

> >personal flaws to trigger people that they manifest in their chewing behaviors

> >(eg: uncouth, unprofessional, lower classe, etc).

> > >

> > > There's no easy way to broach this subject so I will dive right

> >in. There's one categorization that I am ashamed of, but I can't seem to break

> >myself of it. I have a negative reaction to all African Americans because of

> >what is a generalization about how they eat. I immediately categorize them as

> >triggers. I am quite confident that there are aspects of African Americans and

> >their chewing habits that are truly different. I am totally uenducated on any

> >of the subjects so I would not want to surmise on whether they are due to

> >physical differences, cultural customs, or something else. I only know it to be

> >true that there are differing behaviors.

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to chew gum

> >(especially so in a professional workplace)

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to pop/crack

> >their gum while chewing it

> > > - I find that African Americans are much more likely to make

> >distinctive smacking sounds while eating

> > >

> > > I am generally only triggered when I hear a sound or see

> >someone's jaw moving who I know is making a sound that I simply cannot hear.

> >However, when I encounter an African American I am immediately triggered. That

> >trigger doesn't go away until I have checked them to make sure they are not

> >chewing gum or eating.

> > >

> > > I hope that if there are any African Americans on this group you

> >are not offended. If so, please accept my apology now if I did a poor job of

> >relaying my experiences and did it in an offensive manner. If any of you

> >(African American or not) are offended, please know that I am horrified by my

> >own reactions. I recognize them for what they are but can't control them. The

> >sweetest woman I know is an African American and it breaks my heart to know that

> >I would have such a negative reaction to her if I met her on the street.

> > >

> > > Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in a response - maybe

> >nothing. Maybe I simply feel that if anone else is having a similar reaction

> >they can find some solace in knowing they aren't alone.

> > >

> > > -

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

When my kids (in their 30's now) went to high school, there was a no gum rule. If you broke the rule, you had to go and scrape the cement sidewalks until you had a certain amount accumulated in your trash bag. I thought this was a very good rule. Now I think it would be considered a form of child abuse here in the states!

RE: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for honest feedack

When I was in school (many moons ago), in the U.S., the teacher made us stick our gum on our nose, and then stick our nose to our desk with the gum. I don't think teachers could get away with that now!

From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of IanSent: Monday, January 10, 2011 4:39 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Touchy subject, but looking for honest feedack

You're right - I'm sure it does vary across the world. I suspect that Americans chew gum more than most other nations because, according to Wikipedia, chewing gum originated in the US. I think US soldiers during WW2 made it popular in many other countries (the UK, Australia, New Zealand).It's interesting that the no-gum rule is still enforced in the UK. What do you do to the miscreants who infringe that rule?>> > I think this may be something that depends where you are in the world. I work in schools, covering for teachers when they are off through illness or having to attend meetings. Every school I have worked at here in the UK has had a policy of no gum in the classroom - which means I get to enforce that > >

[Guest guest]

When I went to school in the 80's there were 'no gum chewing'

policies, but when I entered into High School in the 90's those

rules seemed to have vaporized and people were chewing gum all the

time. Made it very difficult for me to focus on the school work in

my classes. I ran across a couple teachers here and there who

enforced no gum in their classes, but most teachers were like

whatever.

As you can see, it did affect my ability to be a better student.

Something that's taken me a long time to get over.

I always hated accidentally touching someones chewed gum on my desk

or stepping on it in the halls or sidewalks and then having to

scrape it off my shoes. Yuck! Or having to drink out of a fountain

where people had spit there gum into.

I don't see why it is wrong to make kids who broke the rule go scrub

gum off the sidewalks. It will teach them what others have to deal

with their spit out gum. It's not much different than a parent

making their kids go pick up dog doo doo from the yard. But, yeah,

today it would probably be considered child abuse.

So I say: What about the child abuse against me by others chewing

gum in the classroom so that I was being tortured by it and unable

to focus on my schoolwork or the teacher? Oh, and the teachers who

also chewed gum during class, my curses on you still hold up, lol

-Randall

When my kids (in their 30's now) went to high school,

there was a no gum rule. If you broke the rule, you had

to go and scrape the cement sidewalks until you had a

certain amount accumulated in your trash bag. I thought

this was a very good rule. Now I think it would be

considered a form of child abuse here in the states!