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Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she wanted to

talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her voicemail

by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit was...and

she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech. (totally

fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said that this

is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like something he

would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of town....<gasp> the

nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care that you ignoring

me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking around all bent out

of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the neighbors are all secretly

planning on running her out of town because they think my brother is capable of

doing something like this...what nerve..they have done their best with

him...they just can't get anyone to help them with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I

know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she wanted to

talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her voicemail

by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit was...and

she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech. (totally

fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said that this

is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like something he

would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of town....<gasp> the

nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care that you ignoring

me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking around all bent out

of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the neighbors are all secretly

planning on running her out of town because they think my brother is capable of

doing something like this...what nerve..they have done their best with

him...they just can't get anyone to help them with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I

know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she wanted to

talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her voicemail

by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit was...and

she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech. (totally

fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said that this

is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like something he

would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of town....<gasp> the

nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care that you ignoring

me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking around all bent out

of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the neighbors are all secretly

planning on running her out of town because they think my brother is capable of

doing something like this...what nerve..they have done their best with

him...they just can't get anyone to help them with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I

know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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Sorry, your mom is being a yahoo! That being said I am so proud of your

acomplishments!

Lilly

Beach Bunny wrote:

Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she

wanted to talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her

voicemail by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit

was...and she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech.

(totally fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said

that this is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like

something he would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of

town....<gasp> the nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care

that you ignoring me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking

around all bent out of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the

neighbors are all secretly planning on running her out of town because they

think my brother is capable of doing something like this...what nerve..they have

done their best with him...they just can't get anyone to help them

with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I know this tragedy is not directly

related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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Sorry, your mom is being a yahoo! That being said I am so proud of your

acomplishments!

Lilly

Beach Bunny wrote:

Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she

wanted to talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her

voicemail by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit

was...and she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech.

(totally fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said

that this is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like

something he would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of

town....<gasp> the nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care

that you ignoring me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking

around all bent out of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the

neighbors are all secretly planning on running her out of town because they

think my brother is capable of doing something like this...what nerve..they have

done their best with him...they just can't get anyone to help them

with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I know this tragedy is not directly

related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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Sorry, your mom is being a yahoo! That being said I am so proud of your

acomplishments!

Lilly

Beach Bunny wrote:

Well...Nada is back at it again...she left me voicemail today...she

wanted to talk to me about the whole Virginia Tech. incident. She started her

voicemail by saying that it was weird that they hadn't released who the culprit

was...and she found out that my Aunt's ex-husband went to Virginia Tech.

(totally fabricated) and she was certain he did this...then she paused and said

that this is something the she looked for my brother to do...it sounds like

something he would do...and then the neighbors would run her out of

town....<gasp> the nerve!...she ended it by saying " well i guess you don't care

that you ignoring me is going to kill thousands of people " Now she is walking

around all bent out of shape, prowling around at night convinced that the

neighbors are all secretly planning on running her out of town because they

think my brother is capable of doing something like this...what nerve..they have

done their best with him...they just can't get anyone to help them

with

him. (I'm not even going to BEGIN on everything that is wrong with that

statement)

On that note, I got a text message today from a little girl who used to be on a

cheerleading squad I coached. I haven't heard from her in 4 years...I didn't

even know she was going to college there. She just simply said that she was on

her way home, but in reflecting on the days events she began to think of all the

people who meant something to her...she texted me to thank me for believing in

her when nobody else would and to tell me that she loved me...because she never

told me and she realized that you have to tell people how you fell now..because

you don't know for a fact that you will wake up tomorrow. It was very

touching...and it made me feel good to hear that. Despite all the bad things

nada did, my story will be different...i made the difference in the life of a

child, and that means everything.

Additionally, I heard from an editor today from Kraft foods. They are asking

permission to do a photo shoot in my home...professional

photographers....make-up people...the whole nine yards. They are doing a Fall

photo shoot honoring people who participate in their recipe sharing program...my

recipe has been in the top 3 for the past 3 years so it has been chosen for the

Fall's magazine. This is awesome because my mother hasn't taught me anything in

the way of cooking...I always wanted to know how, but my father wouldn't take

the time....I learned how to cook from the mother of my ex-fiance'...whom my

mother hated! Hahahahaha....i hope the concept takes off...the cat will be out

of the bag for the whole world to see!!

junkinthere wrote: I know this tragedy is not directly

related to BPD, but I am just so

sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible shooting.

KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying for

these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

problems.

I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just reaching

out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived, or

the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad for them.

Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the second

world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really describe

what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11 somehow

even though it's been 6 years.

These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry for

them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

Melany

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

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I do wonder also about his family of origin. I wonder if the

disturbing behavior is a combination of innate mental illness and

childhood abuse. It seems no one is really analysing the family. I

also wonder if there is mental illness among other members of his

family, particularly his parents. If he was functioning well enough to

become a senior at a reputable university, maybe one or both of his

parents are high functioning but mentally ill, and maybe he had a

disturbing home life.

Mental illness can be so devastating. It has devistated many of the

lives around us, including our own. I just think about how my

grandmother produced 7 highly dysfunctional children who continued the

cycle. The depths of pain and rage that the human psyche can

experience is so frightening, and I think this story hits close to

home for us because we've all had a glimpse of how deep it can be.

Just the look in nada's eyes when she gets angry is terrifying.

Sometimes, all she had to do was look at me. I see the same thing in

this young man's eyes.

Melany

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I'm wondering if he was so incredibly envious, of rich kids etc etc etc and

how powerless he felt, if this kid could be a KO an NPD? (Possibly learnt

how to express anger from them?)

Damage damage damage all 'round.

_____

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Newsletters for me

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Also, I wasn't clear in my original post about the fact that someone

in his family could have been warning the school and others that he

had a history of disturbed behavior. Even though he was an adult

and his " history " might have been blocked (but why on earth would

they prevent institutions from knowing his disturbed history? That

seems downright dangerous!) --

But confidentiality laws or not, if I were a family member and I

knew he was off his rocker, I'd warn the school in writing. More

than once. That's the " look out for each other " angle I was

inarticulately trying to point out. Kind of a " it takes a village "

to protect innocents from dangerous people viewpoint. Using our

powers of free speech to warn potential victims.

Now that he's done it, people might think twice in the future about

remaining silent.

-Kyla

-Kyla

I know this tragedy is not

> > > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > > sad for the people directly affected by this

> > > horrible horrible

> > > > shooting.

> > > > >

> > > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I

> > > have been

> > > crying

> > > > for

> > > > > these people, as I imagine many of you have been

> > > as well. The

> > > shear

> > > > > terror those who survived must have experienced.

> > > The awful loss

> > > of

> > > > > young promising lives. One of the professors

> > > killed was a

> > > holocaust

> > > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD

> > > or other

> > > > > psychological problems as a result, along with

> > > any lasting

> > > physical

> > > > > problems.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant

> > > here, I'm just

> > > > reaching

> > > > > out to the other KOs here who may be heavily

> > > saddened by recent

> > > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the

> > > students who

> > > survived,

> > > > or

> > > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of events

> > > really makes me sad

> > > > for them.

> > > > >

> > > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the

> > > 23rd floor of the

> > > > second

> > > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first

> > > plane hit and

> > > > > dissociated, and even though I have never been

> > > in such a tragedy,

> > > > > somehow I could understand exactly what she was

> > > telling me. How

> > > she

> > > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she

> > > couldn't really

> > > > describe

> > > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > > vegetarian and

> > > developed

> > > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > > refered back to 9/11

> > > > somehow

> > > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > > >

> > > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to

> > > do. I am so

> > > sorry

> > > > for

> > > > > them because in some ways I can really feel

> > > their pain.

> > > > >

> > > > > Melany

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

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Guest guest

Hi Kyla and All,

I agree that " it stands to reason . . . that he

exhibited these behaviors in his own family, too " and

that it would be good if a family would notify someone

of a family member's strange behavior. I can also

understand that a family wouldn't want to create or

add something like that to a written record of someone

they care about, i.e., they'd put their family's

interests over society's.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- kylaboo728 wrote:

> Also, I wasn't clear in my original post about the

> fact that someone

> in his family could have been warning the school and

> others that he

> had a history of disturbed behavior. Even though he

> was an adult

> and his " history " might have been blocked (but why

> on earth would

> they prevent institutions from knowing his disturbed

> history? That

> seems downright dangerous!) --

>

> But confidentiality laws or not, if I were a family

> member and I

> knew he was off his rocker, I'd warn the school in

> writing. More

> than once. That's the " look out for each other "

> angle I was

> inarticulately trying to point out. Kind of a " it

> takes a village "

> to protect innocents from dangerous people

> viewpoint. Using our

> powers of free speech to warn potential victims.

>

> Now that he's done it, people might think twice in

> the future about

> remaining silent.

>

> -Kyla

>

> -Kyla

>

> I know this tragedy is not

> > > > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > > > sad for the people directly affected by

> this

> > > > horrible horrible

> > > > > shooting.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic,

> and I

> > > > have been

> > > > crying

> > > > > for

> > > > > > these people, as I imagine many of you

> have been

> > > > as well. The

> > > > shear

> > > > > > terror those who survived must have

> experienced.

> > > > The awful loss

> > > > of

> > > > > > young promising lives. One of the

> professors

> > > > killed was a

> > > > holocaust

> > > > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will

> have PTSD

> > > > or other

> > > > > > psychological problems as a result, along

> with

> > > > any lasting

> > > > physical

> > > > > > problems.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or

> poignant

> > > > here, I'm just

> > > > > reaching

> > > > > > out to the other KOs here who may be

> heavily

> > > > saddened by recent

> > > > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of

> the

> > > > students who

> > > > survived,

> > > > > or

> > > > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of

> events

> > > > really makes me sad

> > > > > for them.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on

> the

> > > > 23rd floor of the

> > > > > second

> > > > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the

> first

> > > > plane hit and

> > > > > > dissociated, and even though I have never

> been

> > > > in such a tragedy,

> > > > > > somehow I could understand exactly what

> she was

> > > > telling me. How

> > > > she

> > > > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how

> she

> > > > couldn't really

> > > > > describe

> > > > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > > > vegetarian and

> > > > developed

> > > > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > > > refered back to 9/11

> > > > > somehow

> > > > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of

> healing to

> > > > do. I am so

> > > > sorry

> > > > > for

> > > > > > them because in some ways I can really

> feel

> > > > their pain.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Melany

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new

> car "

> > > > smell?

> > > > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> been

> > > > removed]

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > > smell?

> > > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> __________________________________________________

> > >

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Guest guest

Hi Kerrie and All,

I agree with everything you said, so naturally, I

think everything you said was brilliant.

Seriously, maybe he had some form or almost

undetectable amount of paranoid schizophrenia, though

no one has reported that he heard other voices in his

head.

The most interesting thing for me, so far, about his

family was that his great-aunt in Korea called him, in

an interview the other day, something like a " mean

little child. " That makes me think there WAS

something disturbed about him early on and that at

least some of his family blamed him for it, though he

shouldn't have been held responsible for it as he was

then a minor. I speculate that they also blamed

people with money for having money, etc., so that when

he popped, that's what he talked about. I agree that

probably the real reason he popped was that he got

overwhelmed with anger about how he was treated as a

child and teenager, and projected his rage onto

innocent people. Sound like some other people we

know?

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- Kerrie wrote:

> I'm not sure what to think, Non-BP Man. I tend to

> lean towards this

> feeling like not enough was done in his childhood to

> protect him from

> turning out to be this monster. And I hate what the

> press has done

> w/glorifying him- giving so much more credence to

> his debauchery and

> inhumanity b/c he sent a package to NBC. I was sooo

> proud of the

> parents of the slain victims for cancelling their

> guest appearances

> on the morning shows b/c they were digusted w/how

> the media has

> handled this story and shown so many pictures of the

> murderer. I

> would be pissed off too if I were a parent or loved

> one of a person

> who was killed- all about ratings. Who really needs

> to see his face

> smeared on every Yahoo page and ever newspaper and

> every tv channel.

> I don't give a crap about him and his 15 minutes of

> fame needs to be

> over in my opinion. This is what he wanted and they

> play into it and

> yet the real victims, the family members and

> students who survived,

> they have to be met w/his face everywhere. Nice.

>

> My suspicion from what I've read is that he was

> molested in childhood

> by a teacher as that was a play he wrote and there's

> often more truth

> in fiction than in non-fiction. He also wrote a

> father-son angst play

> as well so he must have had some hang ups w/his dad.

> But he didn't

> just happen. The neighbors that knew him growing up

> said he was a

> loner and wouldn't speak when greeted. That's kind

> of freaky and kind

> of a red flag for the family life.

>

> I don't think people care to look at his family life

> though. They'd

> prefer to think this just happened as it serves to

> make everyone live

> in fear all the more and fear sells- ratings and

> products and all

> kinds of stuff. Fear sells much easier than love- or

> at least real

> love. I feel sorry for the situation all around. Its

> sad, real sad.

>

> Kerrie

> I know this tragedy is not

> > > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > > sad for the people directly affected by this

> > > horrible horrible

> > > > shooting.

> > > > >

> > > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic,

> and I

> > > have been

> > > crying

> > > > for

> > > > > these people, as I imagine many of you have

> been

> > > as well. The

> > > shear

> > > > > terror those who survived must have

> experienced.

> > > The awful loss

> > > of

> > > > > young promising lives. One of the professors

> > > killed was a

> > > holocaust

> > > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will have

> PTSD

> > > or other

> > > > > psychological problems as a result, along

> with

> > > any lasting

> > > physical

> > > > > problems.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or

> poignant

> > > here, I'm just

> > > > reaching

> > > > > out to the other KOs here who may be heavily

> > > saddened by recent

> > > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the

> > > students who

> > > survived,

> > > > or

> > > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of events

> > > really makes me sad

> > > > for them.

> > > > >

> > > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the

> > > 23rd floor of the

> > > > second

> > > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the

> first

> > > plane hit and

> > > > > dissociated, and even though I have never

> been

> > > in such a tragedy,

> > > > > somehow I could understand exactly what she

> was

> > > telling me. How

> > > she

> > > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how

> she

> > > couldn't really

> > > > describe

> > > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > > vegetarian and

> > > developed

> > > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > > refered back to 9/11

> > > > somehow

> > > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > > >

> > > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of

> healing to

> > > do. I am so

> > > sorry

> > > > for

> > > > > them because in some ways I can really feel

> > > their pain.

> > > > >

> > > > > Melany

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

Hi Kerrie and All,

I agree with everything you said, so naturally, I

think everything you said was brilliant.

Seriously, maybe he had some form or almost

undetectable amount of paranoid schizophrenia, though

no one has reported that he heard other voices in his

head.

The most interesting thing for me, so far, about his

family was that his great-aunt in Korea called him, in

an interview the other day, something like a " mean

little child. " That makes me think there WAS

something disturbed about him early on and that at

least some of his family blamed him for it, though he

shouldn't have been held responsible for it as he was

then a minor. I speculate that they also blamed

people with money for having money, etc., so that when

he popped, that's what he talked about. I agree that

probably the real reason he popped was that he got

overwhelmed with anger about how he was treated as a

child and teenager, and projected his rage onto

innocent people. Sound like some other people we

know?

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- Kerrie wrote:

> I'm not sure what to think, Non-BP Man. I tend to

> lean towards this

> feeling like not enough was done in his childhood to

> protect him from

> turning out to be this monster. And I hate what the

> press has done

> w/glorifying him- giving so much more credence to

> his debauchery and

> inhumanity b/c he sent a package to NBC. I was sooo

> proud of the

> parents of the slain victims for cancelling their

> guest appearances

> on the morning shows b/c they were digusted w/how

> the media has

> handled this story and shown so many pictures of the

> murderer. I

> would be pissed off too if I were a parent or loved

> one of a person

> who was killed- all about ratings. Who really needs

> to see his face

> smeared on every Yahoo page and ever newspaper and

> every tv channel.

> I don't give a crap about him and his 15 minutes of

> fame needs to be

> over in my opinion. This is what he wanted and they

> play into it and

> yet the real victims, the family members and

> students who survived,

> they have to be met w/his face everywhere. Nice.

>

> My suspicion from what I've read is that he was

> molested in childhood

> by a teacher as that was a play he wrote and there's

> often more truth

> in fiction than in non-fiction. He also wrote a

> father-son angst play

> as well so he must have had some hang ups w/his dad.

> But he didn't

> just happen. The neighbors that knew him growing up

> said he was a

> loner and wouldn't speak when greeted. That's kind

> of freaky and kind

> of a red flag for the family life.

>

> I don't think people care to look at his family life

> though. They'd

> prefer to think this just happened as it serves to

> make everyone live

> in fear all the more and fear sells- ratings and

> products and all

> kinds of stuff. Fear sells much easier than love- or

> at least real

> love. I feel sorry for the situation all around. Its

> sad, real sad.

>

> Kerrie

> I know this tragedy is not

> > > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > > sad for the people directly affected by this

> > > horrible horrible

> > > > shooting.

> > > > >

> > > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic,

> and I

> > > have been

> > > crying

> > > > for

> > > > > these people, as I imagine many of you have

> been

> > > as well. The

> > > shear

> > > > > terror those who survived must have

> experienced.

> > > The awful loss

> > > of

> > > > > young promising lives. One of the professors

> > > killed was a

> > > holocaust

> > > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will have

> PTSD

> > > or other

> > > > > psychological problems as a result, along

> with

> > > any lasting

> > > physical

> > > > > problems.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or

> poignant

> > > here, I'm just

> > > > reaching

> > > > > out to the other KOs here who may be heavily

> > > saddened by recent

> > > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the

> > > students who

> > > survived,

> > > > or

> > > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of events

> > > really makes me sad

> > > > for them.

> > > > >

> > > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the

> > > 23rd floor of the

> > > > second

> > > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the

> first

> > > plane hit and

> > > > > dissociated, and even though I have never

> been

> > > in such a tragedy,

> > > > > somehow I could understand exactly what she

> was

> > > telling me. How

> > > she

> > > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how

> she

> > > couldn't really

> > > > describe

> > > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > > vegetarian and

> > > developed

> > > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > > refered back to 9/11

> > > > somehow

> > > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > > >

> > > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of

> healing to

> > > do. I am so

> > > sorry

> > > > for

> > > > > them because in some ways I can really feel

> > > their pain.

> > > > >

> > > > > Melany

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > > smell?

> > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

Now that I've seen the statement from the family of the killer, my

heart breaks for them. I feel awful for them -- The ripples of this

awful massacre seem to string out forever.

All we can do from here is pray for the victims' families, and for

the family of the killer. Just imagining myself in all of their

shoes makes me feel terrible.

-Kyla

I know this tragedy is not

> > > directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> > > > sad for the people directly affected by this

> > horrible horrible

> > > shooting.

> > > >

> > > > KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I

> > have been

> > crying

> > > for

> > > > these people, as I imagine many of you have been

> > as well. The

> > shear

> > > > terror those who survived must have experienced.

> > The awful loss

> > of

> > > > young promising lives. One of the professors

> > killed was a

> > holocaust

> > > > survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD

> > or other

> > > > psychological problems as a result, along with

> > any lasting

> > physical

> > > > problems.

> > > >

> > > > I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant

> > here, I'm just

> > > reaching

> > > > out to the other KOs here who may be heavily

> > saddened by recent

> > > > events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the

> > students who

> > survived,

> > > or

> > > > the numb detatchment in recounting of events

> > really makes me sad

> > > for them.

> > > >

> > > > Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the

> > 23rd floor of the

> > > second

> > > > world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first

> > plane hit and

> > > > dissociated, and even though I have never been

> > in such a tragedy,

> > > > somehow I could understand exactly what she was

> > telling me. How

> > she

> > > > didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she

> > couldn't really

> > > describe

> > > > what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a

> > vegetarian and

> > developed

> > > > high BP, and how most of her conversation

> > refered back to 9/11

> > > somehow

> > > > even though it's been 6 years.

> > > >

> > > > These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to

> > do. I am so

> > sorry

> > > for

> > > > them because in some ways I can really feel

> > their pain.

> > > >

> > > > Melany

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > smell?

> > > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> > smell?

> > > Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Guest guest

These shootings are not about my nada, therefore she would have very

little reaction to them. She might say (indignantly and self-

righteously) - that crazy person should have been locked up. And then

she would go right back to focusing on her own life. If you asked her

about it a week from now, she probably wouldn't remember it very

clearly at all. That's my nada!

Sylvia

>.....>

> I'd also be interested in hearing if anyone else's BP's have any

> interesting reactions to the VT shootings. I haven't talked to Fada

> about it yet, but I'll be interested to see what his reaction is.

>

>

>....

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Guest guest

,

My thoughts are with you as you are dealing with these tragedies. I

believe you will fulfill your wish of bringing joy and love into the

lives of others.

Sylvia

>

> hi all, I actually live in the Blacksburg, VA area and attend

church in Blacksburg. Our church has always been very heavily

involved with Virginia Tech so this has been very hard.

> The day of the shootings, I had actually flown into York, NE for

my brother's funeral who was killed in Iraq. I don't know how much

more sorrow my heart can hold.

>

> What I have thought about through all this is how one person can

die causing so much grief, pain, death and anguish, and another

person can die having been full of and giving out joy, love and

sacrificing his life to save others' lives.

>

> My BPD Nada has been at the funeral services for my brother and

I will see her again this weekend at the memorial. Dealing with so

much death and mental illness, I my prayer is that I can look at my

life and try to be one who gives joy and love and not havoc and pain

that a single person is able to cause in so many others' lives.

>.....

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Guest guest

Well said, Kerrie. Well said. -

Kerrie wrote: Melany,

I probably have a slightly different take than most on this situation

just b/c I'm weird after growing up in a bp household like that. You

probably know what I mean- its weird growing up w/this dysfunction

and you learn certain things you'd rather not have learned. Saturday

night and Sunday night I had a bad gut feeling and I've learned over

the years when I have a bad gut feeling, I need to get down on my

knees and pray as its usually right and so that's exactly what I did.

I can't ever tell what will transpire, but I feel it in my bones and

most times now I mention it to dh so he can pray with me and I feel

more sane. When the shooting happened on Monday, I kind of said to

God 'ah, this is what I felt coming in the winds.' and of course I

cried. How could I not? Its sooo freaking sad! But then I saw these

people who survived- Sheenan and others who were able to battle

the murdered out of their rooms and I saw the face of my prayers-

people I've never met and never will, but people whom I prayed for

none-the-less as a fellow human being in one world we share. And yes,

it will take them a long time to assimilate why they live and others

die, but that is something we all are called to question as who has

not embraced the face of death at this point in our lives? Why do

some leave while others stay? What is the meaning of life and more

specifically, the meaning of our own life? I can't answer that for

anyone as I have a hard enough time w/myself most days. Its hell in

the dolldrums when you've got all this trauma to sort out and trying

to find reason behind things that will never make sense. They're not

meant to make sense. They're meant to strike at the core of life and

unsettle the very fiber of what's good about the human race.

But I did see a lot of heroes emerge such as the one you cited- Liviu

I believe his name was- the Holocaust survivor. I thought that was a

beautiful story and if you look at it from the eyes of the press, you

see a life endured from the Holocaust only to die at the hands of

violence- a life that started w/death and man's inhumanity and died

that way as well. Its a nihillistic void we risk falling into when

looked at from that angle and I believe plenty of us live in that

void in our culture- the senselessness of things plague us. And yet

that's not at all how I see this 76 year old lecturer, father and

husband. I see him as a heroe, a person who in his early years surely

must have had people looking out for him if he was a young boy who

lived through WWII in a concentration camp. People, espeically young

people, did not live through that if it were not for the older people

protecting them and helping them to maintain their physical and

psychological spirits daily. Liviu had a whole lifetime to integrate

why he was spared while others died and what did he do with his life?

He lived it and got married and had children and gave back by way of

being a phenomenal engineer and lecturer...and perhaps a great

husband and father. His son really adored and loved him. But what's

more than what he gave to science was what he gave to humanity- a

witness of hope and faith...and rememberance. He knew he was older

and he saw the youth in his room much like he was a youth once too

caught in the crossfires of man's inhumanity towards man. And he

didn't think. He did what he learned in the concentration camps and

what he did his whole life- he built upon the ashes something greater

than death- hope. He shielded a future generation of 20-30 students

of his from being butchered by throwing himself against the door and

taking the bullets meant to strike down the future. And he didn't die

instantly. He was graced with time to text message his son and his

wife and to tell them of his love for them. " Life is beautiful. " I

see him as someone so much greater than a victim of life. I see him

as a soul larger than life and one who inspires me to greater depths

of living and loving...and living without fear.

I have made it a conscious effort to not ever remember any of the

names of the terrorists who attacked our country on 9-11. Instead, I

remember Father Judge who rushed into the towers w/the

firefighers and was the first rescuer to fall and I remember the

names of Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham & Tom Burnett from Flight 93. They

are real heroes who give us hope in something greater...greater than

even ourselves. And I will remember Liviu Librescu and I will forget

this young man's name which I still can't fully remember b/c I happen

to believe love is stronger than fear and even death. And that's also

why every day I wake up and kiss my children on the forehead and am

so happy to see their smiling faces and I push nada's face into the

recesses of bad childhood nightmares that have no basis in today. I

believe in love. I saw it at Columbine, I've read about it from

Auschwitz, I saw at Virginia Tech, I saw it on 9-11 and I see it in

my daily life. But like you, I do empathize and feel an enormous

amount of sadness for those who witnessed this cruelty and those who

lost loved ones in this act of terror. And especially who

lives in the midst of this national tragedy...a fellow sister KO.

Kerrie

>

> I know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible

shooting.

>

> KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying

for

> these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

> terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

> young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

> survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

> psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

> problems.

>

> I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just

reaching

> out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

> events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived,

or

> the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad

for them.

>

> Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the

second

> world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

> dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

> somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

> didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really

describe

> what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

> high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11

somehow

> even though it's been 6 years.

>

> These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry

for

> them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

>

> Melany

>

---------------------------------

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Well said, Kerrie. Well said. -

Kerrie wrote: Melany,

I probably have a slightly different take than most on this situation

just b/c I'm weird after growing up in a bp household like that. You

probably know what I mean- its weird growing up w/this dysfunction

and you learn certain things you'd rather not have learned. Saturday

night and Sunday night I had a bad gut feeling and I've learned over

the years when I have a bad gut feeling, I need to get down on my

knees and pray as its usually right and so that's exactly what I did.

I can't ever tell what will transpire, but I feel it in my bones and

most times now I mention it to dh so he can pray with me and I feel

more sane. When the shooting happened on Monday, I kind of said to

God 'ah, this is what I felt coming in the winds.' and of course I

cried. How could I not? Its sooo freaking sad! But then I saw these

people who survived- Sheenan and others who were able to battle

the murdered out of their rooms and I saw the face of my prayers-

people I've never met and never will, but people whom I prayed for

none-the-less as a fellow human being in one world we share. And yes,

it will take them a long time to assimilate why they live and others

die, but that is something we all are called to question as who has

not embraced the face of death at this point in our lives? Why do

some leave while others stay? What is the meaning of life and more

specifically, the meaning of our own life? I can't answer that for

anyone as I have a hard enough time w/myself most days. Its hell in

the dolldrums when you've got all this trauma to sort out and trying

to find reason behind things that will never make sense. They're not

meant to make sense. They're meant to strike at the core of life and

unsettle the very fiber of what's good about the human race.

But I did see a lot of heroes emerge such as the one you cited- Liviu

I believe his name was- the Holocaust survivor. I thought that was a

beautiful story and if you look at it from the eyes of the press, you

see a life endured from the Holocaust only to die at the hands of

violence- a life that started w/death and man's inhumanity and died

that way as well. Its a nihillistic void we risk falling into when

looked at from that angle and I believe plenty of us live in that

void in our culture- the senselessness of things plague us. And yet

that's not at all how I see this 76 year old lecturer, father and

husband. I see him as a heroe, a person who in his early years surely

must have had people looking out for him if he was a young boy who

lived through WWII in a concentration camp. People, espeically young

people, did not live through that if it were not for the older people

protecting them and helping them to maintain their physical and

psychological spirits daily. Liviu had a whole lifetime to integrate

why he was spared while others died and what did he do with his life?

He lived it and got married and had children and gave back by way of

being a phenomenal engineer and lecturer...and perhaps a great

husband and father. His son really adored and loved him. But what's

more than what he gave to science was what he gave to humanity- a

witness of hope and faith...and rememberance. He knew he was older

and he saw the youth in his room much like he was a youth once too

caught in the crossfires of man's inhumanity towards man. And he

didn't think. He did what he learned in the concentration camps and

what he did his whole life- he built upon the ashes something greater

than death- hope. He shielded a future generation of 20-30 students

of his from being butchered by throwing himself against the door and

taking the bullets meant to strike down the future. And he didn't die

instantly. He was graced with time to text message his son and his

wife and to tell them of his love for them. " Life is beautiful. " I

see him as someone so much greater than a victim of life. I see him

as a soul larger than life and one who inspires me to greater depths

of living and loving...and living without fear.

I have made it a conscious effort to not ever remember any of the

names of the terrorists who attacked our country on 9-11. Instead, I

remember Father Judge who rushed into the towers w/the

firefighers and was the first rescuer to fall and I remember the

names of Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham & Tom Burnett from Flight 93. They

are real heroes who give us hope in something greater...greater than

even ourselves. And I will remember Liviu Librescu and I will forget

this young man's name which I still can't fully remember b/c I happen

to believe love is stronger than fear and even death. And that's also

why every day I wake up and kiss my children on the forehead and am

so happy to see their smiling faces and I push nada's face into the

recesses of bad childhood nightmares that have no basis in today. I

believe in love. I saw it at Columbine, I've read about it from

Auschwitz, I saw at Virginia Tech, I saw it on 9-11 and I see it in

my daily life. But like you, I do empathize and feel an enormous

amount of sadness for those who witnessed this cruelty and those who

lost loved ones in this act of terror. And especially who

lives in the midst of this national tragedy...a fellow sister KO.

Kerrie

>

> I know this tragedy is not directly related to BPD, but I am just so

> sad for the people directly affected by this horrible horrible

shooting.

>

> KOs have a tendency to be very empathetic, and I have been crying

for

> these people, as I imagine many of you have been as well. The shear

> terror those who survived must have experienced. The awful loss of

> young promising lives. One of the professors killed was a holocaust

> survivor. Many of those who lived will have PTSD or other

> psychological problems as a result, along with any lasting physical

> problems.

>

> I'm not going to try to be elegant or poignant here, I'm just

reaching

> out to the other KOs here who may be heavily saddened by recent

> events. Seeing the pain in the faces of the students who survived,

or

> the numb detatchment in recounting of events really makes me sad

for them.

>

> Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who was on the 23rd floor of the

second

> world trade center on 9/11. She saw the first plane hit and

> dissociated, and even though I have never been in such a tragedy,

> somehow I could understand exactly what she was telling me. How she

> didn't know how her ankle was broken, how she couldn't really

describe

> what happend, how she lost 50lbs, became a vegetarian and developed

> high BP, and how most of her conversation refered back to 9/11

somehow

> even though it's been 6 years.

>

> These people in Virgina have a lot of healing to do. I am so sorry

for

> them because in some ways I can really feel their pain.

>

> Melany

>

---------------------------------

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

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