Re:News -not good- from Raquel

[Guest guest]

Raquel: I am so sorry to hear this news. Believe me, I know how hard it

is --first hand as you know. The only comfort I can give you is to tell you

what my son said to me, the first week of Ray being in the nursing home. He

said " Mom, I know this very hard on you but let me tell you, I have seen

more loving care and quality time this week (by you) in the nursing home

than I was seeing at home. " Ray's decline was gradual rather than rapid and

the weight of his care fell mostly to me so it is different than this

dramatic change you are seeing. But I was not handling things well and so

stressed by what was happening, I could not cope. I was feeling more and

more resentful of the situation. Hopefully, they will find an infection or

something that has caused this and the new normal will be better than it is

now. Don't feel guilty about having to place him. Believe me, you can be as

involved as you want to be in his care if he is placed in the nursing home.

I must warn you to be sure they are alerting you of any new medicines

introduced while he is in the hospital. It is critical. Unfortunately, the

feeling that losing him to death would be easier than this, is a feeling I

share with you. I am grieving every day and visiting him all the same. I am

now in Therapy with a psychologist to confront my sadness. I should have

done it sooner and it is hard but I do think it might help.

God Bless you. Good luck. I hope to have better news in the posts I have

yet to read. Love, Leona