Re: Re: CBT

July 14, 2010

I do notice that i can not ignore the sounds or deal with them as well when I'm PMS as I can during the other parts of the month when can get through it a lot better.I hope it helps her a bit. I don't agree with the doctor saying that it's because she's stressed and anxious that she's aware of the sounds. At least for me personally, it's the sounds that make me stressed and anxious! Plus, like you said, she's had this since 10 years old (I have since 12) and I know I was not stressed then. I developed anxiety/panic disorder and OCD after experiencing 4S. I then went on anti-anxiety/OCD meds and it really helped with my anxiety and OCD but the 4S was still there. Anyhow... learning relaxations techniques will be a good thing for her I hope. For me anyhow, it's helped me in other areas in my life as well. Especially for my anxiety/OCD... I'm no longer on meds. >> Thank you to everyone for their suggestions for special diets I shall certainly be looking into them.> > Well I have just returned from my grandaughters first visit to a cognitive behavioural therapist, which was arranged because of her reluctance to go to school and her dislike of busy town centres.> I tried to explain to the therapist about C's dislike of chewing and crunching noises which send her into inexplicable moods and rages.I said I had found this site and it seemed that the growing number of members indicated that this problem was widespread and could account for some of C's behavior. The therapist had never heard of 4S or of using CBT for tinnitus training(which as I understand may be of some help to sufferers with 4S).She explained that if we are stressed and anxious we may have a heightened awareness of things going on around > us and this may account for the extreme responses my grandaughter has.> I'm not sure I accept this as C has suffered with it at least from being 10yrs old and I don't think she was stressed then.> Anyhow, she is going back next week to learn relaxation techniques.> Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

July 14, 2010

I do notice that i can not ignore the sounds or deal with them as well when I'm PMS as I can during the other parts of the month when can get through it a lot better.I hope it helps her a bit. I don't agree with the doctor saying that it's because she's stressed and anxious that she's aware of the sounds. At least for me personally, it's the sounds that make me stressed and anxious! Plus, like you said, she's had this since 10 years old (I have since 12) and I know I was not stressed then. I developed anxiety/panic disorder and OCD after experiencing 4S. I then went on anti-anxiety/OCD meds and it really helped with my anxiety and OCD but the 4S was still there. Anyhow... learning relaxations techniques will be a good thing for her I hope. For me anyhow, it's helped me in other areas in my life as well. Especially for my anxiety/OCD... I'm no longer on meds. >> Thank you to everyone for their suggestions for special diets I shall certainly be looking into them.> > Well I have just returned from my grandaughters first visit to a cognitive behavioural therapist, which was arranged because of her reluctance to go to school and her dislike of busy town centres.> I tried to explain to the therapist about C's dislike of chewing and crunching noises which send her into inexplicable moods and rages.I said I had found this site and it seemed that the growing number of members indicated that this problem was widespread and could account for some of C's behavior. The therapist had never heard of 4S or of using CBT for tinnitus training(which as I understand may be of some help to sufferers with 4S).She explained that if we are stressed and anxious we may have a heightened awareness of things going on around > us and this may account for the extreme responses my grandaughter has.> I'm not sure I accept this as C has suffered with it at least from being 10yrs old and I don't think she was stressed then.> Anyhow, she is going back next week to learn relaxation techniques.> Here's hoping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

February 17, 2011

Thank you very much, I can't wait for my mother to see this.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.

I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.

When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:

I put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife, and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:

http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspx

and several other pieces of information.

This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".

Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.

So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.

I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.

By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.

>

> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.

>

February 17, 2011

Thank you very much, I can't wait for my mother to see this.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.

I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.

When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:

I put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife, and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:

http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspx

and several other pieces of information.

This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".

Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.

So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.

I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.

By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.

>

> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.

>

February 17, 2011

My first reaction upon discovering this site was to send my mom a long, ugly email, demanding an apology for the way she terrorized me throughout my entire childhood. I also believe that I cut myself when I was a teenager because of 4S stress mixed with a moronic non-understanding parent. Anyway I sent her a link to every article on 4S I could find. Now I kind of regret that because she probably won't read any of them!

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't

work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger

sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into

practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just

giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

My first reaction upon discovering this site was to send my mom a long, ugly email, demanding an apology for the way she terrorized me throughout my entire childhood. I also believe that I cut myself when I was a teenager because of 4S stress mixed with a moronic non-understanding parent. Anyway I sent her a link to every article on 4S I could find. Now I kind of regret that because she probably won't read any of them!

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't

work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger

sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into

practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just

giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

I am 59 and my two daughters are in their mid 30's . They called me yesterday on a conference call and told me all of the things they were upset about , past and present. It hurt to hear but I listened, because I love them and want to have a good relationship with them, even thought they are far away at present. They told me what the groundrules need to be as far as things that should and shouldn't be discussed and that upset them to hear. I understood and need to be sensitive to their wishes, which I will.

Parents can learn from their children. I am still doing it. My feelings were hurt some,but again I love them and will do what is necessary to have a close relationship with them.

If your mother is not understanding about this, and does not care to have an adult relationship with you, you may need to tell her that and minimize your contact with her. Maybe your fears and conditioning are making it difficult for you to approach her with this in the most effective manner.

I would say being calm, in control and compassionate would be the best way. You may need to practice it with someone else first.

Good luck.

ML

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't

work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger

sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into

practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just

giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

I am 59 and my two daughters are in their mid 30's . They called me yesterday on a conference call and told me all of the things they were upset about , past and present. It hurt to hear but I listened, because I love them and want to have a good relationship with them, even thought they are far away at present. They told me what the groundrules need to be as far as things that should and shouldn't be discussed and that upset them to hear. I understood and need to be sensitive to their wishes, which I will.

Parents can learn from their children. I am still doing it. My feelings were hurt some,but again I love them and will do what is necessary to have a close relationship with them.

If your mother is not understanding about this, and does not care to have an adult relationship with you, you may need to tell her that and minimize your contact with her. Maybe your fears and conditioning are making it difficult for you to approach her with this in the most effective manner.

I would say being calm, in control and compassionate would be the best way. You may need to practice it with someone else first.

Good luck.

ML

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't

work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger

sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into

practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just

giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

So just out of curiosity, where is everyone located? I'm in Northern California.

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

I am in Southport north of Liverpool in the uk! ShirleySent from my BlackBerryÂ® wireless deviceSender: Soundsensitivity Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 08:12:54 -0800 (PST)To: <Soundsensitivity >ReplyTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Re: CBTSo just out of curiosity, where is everyone located? I'm in Northern California.Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =) I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...From: Darlene Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: CBT Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

Las Vegas .

What happens in Vegas follows you wherever you go , whether you like it or not!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 8:19 AM

South Carolina, about 800 miles away from my childhood triggers in Missouri.> >> > Here's a > basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from > Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > > > I can control my > thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink > elephant)> > > > My feelings come from my > thoughts.> > > > Therefore I can control my > feelings.> > > > The kicker is, putting that into > practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > > > I > used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and > this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of

sunshine... > =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be > more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as > you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply > my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it > would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade > into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after > the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear > how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > > > > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her > brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. > What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for > us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore > seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and >

everyone around her.> > > > Bless you all.> > > Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > > > PS... that exposure to > sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the > "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any > research out there to support this has ever been effective? It > sounds painful... > > > >>

February 17, 2011

Las Vegas .

What happens in Vegas follows you wherever you go , whether you like it or not!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 8:19 AM

South Carolina, about 800 miles away from my childhood triggers in Missouri.> >> > Here's a > basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from > Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > > > I can control my > thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink > elephant)> > > > My feelings come from my > thoughts.> > > > Therefore I can control my > feelings.> > > > The kicker is, putting that into > practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > > > I > used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and > this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of

sunshine... > =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be > more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as > you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply > my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it > would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade > into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after > the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear > how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > > > > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her > brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. > What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for > us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore > seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and >

everyone around her.> > > > Bless you all.> > > Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > > > PS... that exposure to > sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the > "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any > research out there to support this has ever been effective? It > sounds painful... > > > >>

February 17, 2011

Nothing is pointless we must try. They are still accepting submissions so that's a good sign. And she will be doing a cable show after she ends the ABC run. Sent from my iPhone

Isn't Oprah on her last season? I don't know how all of that works, but it almost seems like it would be pointless as by the time she would decide to take on 4S as a subject, her show would be over?â€ .:. Mae .:.â€

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:36:44 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

Nothing is pointless we must try. They are still accepting submissions so that's a good sign. And she will be doing a cable show after she ends the ABC run. Sent from my iPhone

Isn't Oprah on her last season? I don't know how all of that works, but it almost seems like it would be pointless as by the time she would decide to take on 4S as a subject, her show would be over?â€ .:. Mae .:.â€

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:36:44 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Ã‚ I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

Oh, ok.. I figured they would already have the whole season planned out.. and if that were the case, it WOULD be pointless. But if not, then that's cool.. †.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: heidi@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:53:48 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Nothing is pointless we must try. They are still accepting submissions so that's a good sign. And she will be doing a cable show after she ends the ABC run. Sent from my iPhone

Isn't Oprah on her last season? I don't know how all of that works, but it almost seems like it would be pointless as by the time she would decide to take on 4S as a subject, her show would be over?†.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:36:44 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Â I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

Oh, ok.. I figured they would already have the whole season planned out.. and if that were the case, it WOULD be pointless. But if not, then that's cool.. †.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: heidi@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:53:48 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Nothing is pointless we must try. They are still accepting submissions so that's a good sign. And she will be doing a cable show after she ends the ABC run. Sent from my iPhone

Isn't Oprah on her last season? I don't know how all of that works, but it almost seems like it would be pointless as by the time she would decide to take on 4S as a subject, her show would be over?†.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:36:44 -0800Subject: Re: Re: CBT

Thank you Ian,

That was so good to see. It may be a way of helping others understand. It takes courage to admit that you have such a pecular and socially debilitating problem such as 4S.

I have always been so embarrassed of it and almost never admited it. That is a huge burden to have. We will get the message out in time. Most people are compassionate of others problems. That is why Oprah is so popular. She should be our target since she is the most widely seen and the most influential. Should we start a letter writing campaign to here producers!

ML

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 4:17 AM

Yes, this often runs in families. One of my two daughters has it, the other is completely free of it. I rather suspect that it is a genetic, neurological problem at its deepest level, with lots of bad learning experiences laid on top of that.I have been married 27 years and my wife is my primary trigger person. Early on in the marriage I had to explain to her that I had the same intense reaction to eating sounds when I was a teenager living with my parents. She tries to minimise the amount of triggers, and doesn't take my reaction personally - she understands that I am just reacting to the sounds, and not to her as a person.When I discovered this site and all the fantastic information about 4S/misophonia on the web - like this video on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIhoEtlgiyII put together a set of materials, sat down with my wife,

and showed it to her, so that she could watch the video and read Dr 's excellent article:http://audiology.advanceweb.com/Article/Selective-Sound-Sensitivity-Syndrome.aspxand several other pieces of information.This helped confirm to her that I was not being deliberately unpleasant or mean, but that I had an unusual, but real, condition that I could not simply "switch off".Since then I have found an excellent psychologist with experience of sensory sensitivity problems, and he has started taking me through CBT (and some newer therapies like "mindfulness" and "dialectical behaviour therapy"). He fully recognises that the initial reaction needn't come from conscious thought - he used the example of distance runners learning to tolerate pain. The pain is physical and real - not the result of "wrong

thinking" - but you _can_ learn to control it and extend yourself by learning to control your attention and your thinking.So, like Maikaefer, I agree with you that negative feelings can come from other places besides our thoughts, but that doesn't mean our thoughts cannot "fight back" and get some real control of our feelings. It may not be total control (someone may always catch us off-guard), but it can mean a much better life.I really do hope that, armed with knowledge now, you will be able to build a relationship with your husband that is stringer than 4S, and also hopefully find someone who can help you get the mind skills to manage the 4S distress as well as you possibly can. Perhaps if you tell your husband that you care about him so much that you want to do whatever you can to get greater control of your 4S, it will help. I am doing the CBT as much for my wife's sake as for my own. I want her to have a better life too - not one

where she is constantly trying to avoid making normal sounds because it is distressing me.By the way, even I (living in Australia) have heard of UC and its Mind Institute. I have watched quite a few videos of lectures at UC by world experts on autism and other conditions. It has a great reputation, as far as I can see from this side of the Pacific.>> Your daughter is so lucky. If you only heard the mean, degrading and demeaning things my mother said to me growing up....Â I had doctors look at me cross-eyed, like I was a retard... I never had any support, and my brother has it too but will never admit it. He still to this day will not tell my mom that I was telling the truth, he would just back out of every confrontation and then later on admit to me that he had the rage, too. Your daugther is

very lucky. My niece is showing signs now, and my mom supports her.... it totally disgusts me and makes me so ill that she was so mean to me, and so supportive of her., I don't know what it takes to get help, but I guess it's better late than never. Okay, my sob story is over... if you haven't noticed, I';m very, very bitter about 4S and it's impact on me.>

February 17, 2011

Are you looking for telephone or personal interviews. you may email me if you want. I live in Woodland, CA near Sacramento. lindseys.box@...

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

Are you looking for telephone or personal interviews. you may email me if you want. I live in Woodland, CA near Sacramento. lindseys.box@...

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 17, 2011

Are you looking for telephone or personal interviews. you may email me if you want. I live in Woodland, CA near Sacramento. lindseys.box@...

Subject: Re: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 8:03 PM

Thanks Darlene... it has helped me so much just reading the postings from the group. After seeing how hard it is for adults to cope with this, feeling compassion for my daughter. I love her so, and this is such a struggle for people with so much more maturity than her. Perhaps someday I'll start a support group for friends/relatives/significant others... 4SAnon? =)

I'll keep my postings to a minimum, so as to give the folks with the direct experience the floor, but I will continue to read it all as it floats by...

From: Darlene

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 8:04 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: CBT

Deniese.. I think its so great that you (and other parents of 4S'ers) are a part of this group. Your daughter will have an advantage that many of us didn't... someone who listens and at least tries to understand. You said, "I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine".That made me laugh! Thanks for that. It is more difficult to apply these things to 4S because the response to a trigger is so quick, so automatic that its hard to get into that little space between hearing it and reacting to it in order to change your thoughts/feelings. But you are right... it can be applied to lessen the trickle effect from hearing a trigger to having it ruin your whole day. As far as exposure to trigger sounds is concerned, for me over-exposing myself to trigger sounds with hope I would get used to them just didn't work. But in order to try and work through the thoughts that you have after hearing a trigger sound, you do have to hear it. So, when I first started CBT, when I heard a trigger I would force myself to stay in that situation for maybe 15 seconds. Then I could leave. During that time I really tried to observe my thoughts. Then after a week or so I would increase the time. Slowly, but surely, I was able to stay in place and listen to the sound I hated so much without feeling like I needed to run. I kept a journal of thoughts that were going through my head during the time I sat there. Then after removing myself from the trigger sound I would re-read those thoughts and then change them on paper to read differently. I would acknowledge what I was feeling, put it into perspective, and re-assure myself that I would be alright. Then the next time I entered the situation with the same trigger sound I would apply what I had written to my thought process. Its taken me a very long time (over 2 years) to get to where I am now. I would have never believed I could have gotten to this point. I can now go sit in the movie theater and watch a movie with all the popcorn munching around me. People leave with their teeth, which I would have knocked out two years prior, and I don't have to miss out on one of my favorite things any longer. >> Here's a basic rational behavior therapy RBT syllogism. (Paraphased from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones)> > I can control my thoughts. (prove it to yourself by envisioning a pink elephant)> > My feelings come from my thoughts.> > Therefore I can control my feelings.> > The kicker is, putting that into practice... I.e. what can I think of instead?> > I used to have a high level of 'automatic' negative thoughts and this one practice turned me into a disgusting ray of sunshine... =) I like it a lot, but putting it into play with 4S will be more challenging that for me and my former negative attitude, as you have a very real physical trigger... my triggers were simply my own negativity in response to outside events. I do think it would assist as I'm sure the reaction to the trigger can cascade into ruining one's day. At least it could stop somewhere after the initial reaction to the trigger, perhaps. Would love to hear how it's working for folks who are trying it.> > Again, thanks everyone. This forum has allowed me and her brother to have some understanding of my daughter's condition. What a lifesaver it's been. Understanding promotes tolerance for us, and even allows us to make accommodations that heretofore seemed just giving in to her need to control everything and everyone around her.> > Bless you all.> Kinsey's Mom, Deniese> > PS... that exposure to sound comment sounds like someone is a proponent of the "systematic desensitization" for treatment of 4S... is there any research out there to support this has ever been effective? It sounds painful... > >

February 24, 2011

Hi everyone, I am new to all this. I am only 15 and suffer from this Selective sensitivity. And I read all of your guy's messages and you all are older and have huge problems that this causes. It really does scare me that this is going to cause so many more problems than it already has. And I have never in my life met someone else like this. i always thought it was just me being over sensitive. But it causes my family to get mad at me, and my friends to get annoyed when I ask them to stop. And even pets drive me nuts when they clean them selves. If anyone has any ideas to help me pleasee do tell. I want to grow up living life not getting extremely mean and grumpy because a single sound offset me.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 11:05:34 AMSubject: Re: Re: CBT

What I thought I read is that a doctor who was perviously a member of the group had withdrawn, however before leaving he posted that link along with a cryptic or rude message about "thinking negatively". I hate the whole thinking negatively thing. My husband thinks that this is some kind of "phobia" and that increased exposure will somehow make it more manageable, like "facing your fears". This misunderstanding has caused me so many marital problems... people saying that you "should be able to get over it".... all this has put me in a position where I can't handle the disorder anymore. I'm going to lose another marriage over it. I need a BREAK before I have a breakdown.

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 10:30 AM

I'm very new to the group also and noticed that there is a difficulty level in keeping track of the messages as some of the messages for one topic are typed in under a different topic. For some reason, the thread from of July 2010, became the thread that some of the respones were being typed in as opposed to my thread of introducing myself and asking a CBT question recently. It became even further complicated with the topic going off course but don't get discouraged. I was just trying to heal your reaction on the ethics of the doctor because I thought you may have misread the intent there due to the complications of the topics getting mixed together.Have I mentioned I get too detailed sometimes :-)> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > >>

February 24, 2011

Hi everyone, I am new to all this. I am only 15 and suffer from this Selective sensitivity. And I read all of your guy's messages and you all are older and have huge problems that this causes. It really does scare me that this is going to cause so many more problems than it already has. And I have never in my life met someone else like this. i always thought it was just me being over sensitive. But it causes my family to get mad at me, and my friends to get annoyed when I ask them to stop. And even pets drive me nuts when they clean them selves. If anyone has any ideas to help me pleasee do tell. I want to grow up living life not getting extremely mean and grumpy because a single sound offset me.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 11:05:34 AMSubject: Re: Re: CBT

What I thought I read is that a doctor who was perviously a member of the group had withdrawn, however before leaving he posted that link along with a cryptic or rude message about "thinking negatively". I hate the whole thinking negatively thing. My husband thinks that this is some kind of "phobia" and that increased exposure will somehow make it more manageable, like "facing your fears". This misunderstanding has caused me so many marital problems... people saying that you "should be able to get over it".... all this has put me in a position where I can't handle the disorder anymore. I'm going to lose another marriage over it. I need a BREAK before I have a breakdown.

Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 10:30 AM

I'm very new to the group also and noticed that there is a difficulty level in keeping track of the messages as some of the messages for one topic are typed in under a different topic. For some reason, the thread from of July 2010, became the thread that some of the respones were being typed in as opposed to my thread of introducing myself and asking a CBT question recently. It became even further complicated with the topic going off course but don't get discouraged. I was just trying to heal your reaction on the ethics of the doctor because I thought you may have misread the intent there due to the complications of the topics getting mixed together.Have I mentioned I get too detailed sometimes :-)> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > >>

February 24, 2011

Hi and welcome.Not everyone has huge problems. Start now working on this to avoid it getting worse down the road. When you hear the sound that annoys you try to put a positive spin on it and don't allow negative thoughts to back it up, and don't dwell on it. For example, if it's gum cracking and you have the initial reaction of anger/rage/whatever, rather than mentally going off on that person, that is, telling yourself how gross and disgusting that person is, think positive thoughts about that person and positive thoughts about the sound and then turn your attention elsewhere. It's hard at first, but over time it gets easier. The more you do this now, while you're young, I believe the greater chance you have of not have huge problems later in life. And if you find another sound starts to bother you, nip it in the bud and turn it into something with a positive spin. For right now, it's about all we've got to try to tame this beast and for those of us trying it, it's worked pretty well.Good luck!HeidiHi everyone, I am new to all this. I am only 15 and suffer from this Selective sensitivity. And I read all of your guy's messages and you all are older and have huge problems that this causes. It really does scare me that this is going to cause so many more problems than it already has. And I have never in my life met someone else like this. i always thought it was just me being over sensitive. But it causes my family to get mad at me, and my friends to get annoyed when I ask them to stop. And even pets drive me nuts when they clean them selves. If anyone has any ideas to help me pleasee do tell. I want to grow up living life not getting extremely mean and grumpy because a single sound offset me.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 11:05:34 AMSubject: Re: Re: CBT What I thought I read is that a doctor who was perviously a member of the group had withdrawn, however before leaving he posted that link along with a cryptic or rude message about "thinking negatively". I hate the whole thinking negatively thing. My husband thinks that this is some kind of "phobia" and that increased exposure will somehow make it more manageable, like "facing your fears". This misunderstanding has caused me so many marital problems... people saying that you "should be able to get over it".... all this has put me in a position where I can't handle the disorder anymore. I'm going to lose another marriage over it. I need a BREAK before I have a breakdown.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 10:30 AM I'm very new to the group also and noticed that there is a difficulty level in keeping track of the messages as some of the messages for one topic are typed in under a different topic. For some reason, the thread from of July 2010, became the thread that some of the respones were being typed in as opposed to my thread of introducing myself and asking a CBT question recently. It became even further complicated with the topic going off course but don't get discouraged. I was just trying to heal your reaction on the ethics of the doctor because I thought you may have misread the intent there due to the complications of the topics getting mixed together.Have I mentioned I get too detailed sometimes :-)> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > >>

February 24, 2011

Hi and welcome.Not everyone has huge problems. Start now working on this to avoid it getting worse down the road. When you hear the sound that annoys you try to put a positive spin on it and don't allow negative thoughts to back it up, and don't dwell on it. For example, if it's gum cracking and you have the initial reaction of anger/rage/whatever, rather than mentally going off on that person, that is, telling yourself how gross and disgusting that person is, think positive thoughts about that person and positive thoughts about the sound and then turn your attention elsewhere. It's hard at first, but over time it gets easier. The more you do this now, while you're young, I believe the greater chance you have of not have huge problems later in life. And if you find another sound starts to bother you, nip it in the bud and turn it into something with a positive spin. For right now, it's about all we've got to try to tame this beast and for those of us trying it, it's worked pretty well.Good luck!HeidiHi everyone, I am new to all this. I am only 15 and suffer from this Selective sensitivity. And I read all of your guy's messages and you all are older and have huge problems that this causes. It really does scare me that this is going to cause so many more problems than it already has. And I have never in my life met someone else like this. i always thought it was just me being over sensitive. But it causes my family to get mad at me, and my friends to get annoyed when I ask them to stop. And even pets drive me nuts when they clean them selves. If anyone has any ideas to help me pleasee do tell. I want to grow up living life not getting extremely mean and grumpy because a single sound offset me.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 11:05:34 AMSubject: Re: Re: CBT What I thought I read is that a doctor who was perviously a member of the group had withdrawn, however before leaving he posted that link along with a cryptic or rude message about "thinking negatively". I hate the whole thinking negatively thing. My husband thinks that this is some kind of "phobia" and that increased exposure will somehow make it more manageable, like "facing your fears". This misunderstanding has caused me so many marital problems... people saying that you "should be able to get over it".... all this has put me in a position where I can't handle the disorder anymore. I'm going to lose another marriage over it. I need a BREAK before I have a breakdown.Subject: Re: CBTTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 10:30 AM I'm very new to the group also and noticed that there is a difficulty level in keeping track of the messages as some of the messages for one topic are typed in under a different topic. For some reason, the thread from of July 2010, became the thread that some of the respones were being typed in as opposed to my thread of introducing myself and asking a CBT question recently. It became even further complicated with the topic going off course but don't get discouraged. I was just trying to heal your reaction on the ethics of the doctor because I thought you may have misread the intent there due to the complications of the topics getting mixed together.Have I mentioned I get too detailed sometimes :-)> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > I'm sorry, I just don't really feel it's ethical to blame a six year old child for thinking "too negatively."> > > > > > > > >> > > >> > >>

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