ambush from nada

[Guest guest]

Wow. I have been ambushed. I had a feeling. . .

I cancelled the appointment that I had set to meet with my mother and

her T on Saturday. I realized through much soul searching and talking

with my T that I was going into another no win situation with her.

They were meeting and planning the " agenda " for the session and I was

going to walk in there and. . . who knows what gems were waiting for

me. I was kind of freaking out about it and had already identified my

only goal in going was to tell her infront of her therapist that I

could not be there for her anymore. I realized that is something I

could do in a short phone call to the therapist rather than subject

myself to more drama and pain and fear etc.

Her therapist suggested that I had been abusive to my mother and

wondered about contact with the kids. I find this a little

unprofessional. . .

About 5 minutes after hanging up, my mother called my cell phone and

left a voice mail. In it she focuses on me telling her therapist that

she abuses me--I told the T that the situation was unhealthy and

abusive for me and that coming to the session was going to be too

difficult for me right now.

So nada is sobbing into the phone saying that I am making it up that

she has been abusive to me. and how can I leave now in her time of

cancer need. She is dying. She almost died. She wants to save me from

the eternal suffering I will cause myself and my children if I

abandon her (I am sure she has a voodoo doll that looks like me

ready!)

so I had a feeling that I was in for more high drama. Seh got a

friend to drive her over and must have been watching my house because

within 5 minutes of walking in the door the door opened again and in

walked nada carrying easter gifts for the kids and shaking and crying

about how could I do this to her. What did she ever do to me that

could ever warrant such treatment. I asked her to leave and she told

me my husband was controlling me ( a standard claim she makes). I

asked her to leave again and told her that there was really nothing I

could do to help her. she needed to get some real help for herself. I

even suggested DBT! OMG I got sucked in and started getting angry

because she wouldn't leave and kept calling for my children,

beginning to walk through my house looking for them. My oldest was

hiding in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. the youngest wasn't

home. I told her to get the F*** out of my house and she came at me

clutching at me and then put her finger in my face and said I was

going to suffer for this and I was causing my children to be damaged.

I pushed her finger out of my face and told her to leave again and

she told me she was pressing charges and that I tried to hit her!

Unbelieveable. I grabbed my phone and handed it to her and told her

to go ahead and call. she walked outside with me chasing her with

the phone (admittedly I was losing it!) and as she got in her friends

car she told him I tried to hit her so I opened the door and said

directly to him " She is lying I did not try to hit her! " and they

drove away.