Guest guest Posted April 8, 1999 Report Share Posted April 8, 1999 Sandi, I really think I can understand your feelings of frustration and depression. It's not easy to live with chronic pain and fearing that it may never go away. I have moments when I feel what is the use and that my husband would be better off if he could find someone that doesn't have this problem. I also have interstitial cystitis which is another chronic pain problem. My sons are grown now so I don't have to deal with raising children and being in constant pain. However they were still home when I was diagnosed with I.C. I felt totally alone and in pain. There is every hope though that you will find a treatment that will help with the pain. It is not unreasonable to expect that something will take the pain away so you can live more comfortably. It sounds like you may benefit from an antidepressant, not so much because you are depressed but they can help with the pain associated with VV. Please don't give up hope, you will find the answer for you. There have been so many that have been helped. If you ever want to write to me privately I would be happy to listen. Darlene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 1999 Report Share Posted April 8, 1999 Sandi, I got better. My success story is on Heidi's web page. I'm at 7 months pain free. There is hope. E-mail me privately if you want more info. Robin Coping From: SandiSharp@... Hi, This is Sandi, the one who has constant pain and the two toddlers. I know I am not coping well at all. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better off if I found a wonderful wife for my husband who would be a great mother to my girls and just ended this pain. For those of you who have suffered so long, do you really think there is hope that some day we will be pain free. I would rather not live if it means living in pain and I don't think anyone has the right to look down on me because of this decision. I want to be there for my girls, but they deserve a mom who could have fun with them, not one who can't even take them for a walk. My husband looks like Tom Cruise. He deserves a wife he can make love to, not someone whose crotch is on fire and is the focus of her life. The term managing the pain isn't too comforting to me. If that means psychologically dealing with it better and accepting it but still living in pain, then that would not make me happy. If it means having to take a medicine each day or follow a diet, I can certainly live with that as long as it takes the pain away. I think I could even live with just pain on contact and not having sex again. It is the constant pain that I will not tolerate. Do most people get better from this one way or another? Once my doctor told me that most everyone gets better in a year. Well, I know from my own experience that this is not true, not at least for me. Why do doctors say this? Are we just the hardest cases and most people do get better? Thanks for listening Sandi ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking for the perfect gift for a friend? http://www.ONElist.com Tell them about ONElist's 115,000 free e-mail communities! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 1999 Report Share Posted April 9, 1999 Sandi, I have four children and I know what it is like to be in pain and have the responsibility of children to deal with. My vulvodynia developed when I was pregnant with my third child who is now eight years old. Many times I have wondered why God allowed me to be so overwhelmed with this condition along with the responsibility of taking care of a baby. However, I now have a two year old as well, because I realize that these children are what keeps me going. I try to do whatever activities I have the energy to do with these children, although some days I am totally exhausted and do not get a lot done. I work only part time in a family business, but my two year old goes to day care five days a week becuase putting him there helps me to cope. Hang in there. Jacovia SandiSharp@... wrote: > From: SandiSharp@... > > Hi, > > This is Sandi, the one who has constant pain and the two toddlers. I know I > am not coping well at all. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better > off if I found a wonderful wife for my husband who would be a great mother to > my girls and just ended this pain. > > For those of you who have suffered so long, do you really think there is hope > that some day we will be pain free. I would rather not live if it means > living in pain and I don't think anyone has the right to look down on me > because of this decision. > > I want to be there for my girls, but they deserve a mom who could have fun > with them, not one who can't even take them for a walk. My husband looks > like Tom Cruise. He deserves a wife he can make love to, not someone whose > crotch is on fire and is the focus of her life. > > The term managing the pain isn't too comforting to me. If that means > psychologically dealing with it better and accepting it but still living in > pain, then that would not make me happy. If it means having to take a > medicine each day or follow a diet, I can certainly live with that as long as > it takes the pain away. I think I could even live with just pain on contact > and not having sex again. It is the constant pain that I will not tolerate. > > Do most people get better from this one way or another? Once my doctor told > me that most everyone gets better in a year. Well, I know from my own > experience that this is not true, not at least for me. Why do doctors say > this? Are we just the hardest cases and most people do get better? > > Thanks for listening > > Sandi > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Looking for the perfect gift for a friend? > http://www.ONElist.com > Tell them about ONElist's 115,000 free e-mail communities! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 1999 Report Share Posted April 9, 1999 Sandi, Don't feel bad about not being as 'able' with your children as you would like to be. I know it is easy for me to say as I feel terrible when I am not available. I just wanted to say that perhaps this will be a positive learning experience for your children in some ways - they will learn compassion and empathy, two very valuable character traits. Hope this isn't out of line. Just something that came to mind. Judy. ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ HeartAtHome@... http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/3144 Moderator Lichen Sclerosus Support and Information List. http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/8843/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 1999 Report Share Posted April 9, 1999 Sandi, Don't feel bad about not being as 'able' with your children as you would like to be. I know it is easy for me to say as I feel terrible when I am not available. I just wanted to say that perhaps this will be a positive learning experience for your children in some ways - they will learn compassion and empathy, two very valuable character traits. Hope this isn't out of line. Just something that came to mind. Judy. ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ HeartAtHome@... http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/3144 Moderator Lichen Sclerosus Support and Information List. http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/8843/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 1999 Report Share Posted April 9, 1999 Sandi, Don't feel bad about not being as 'able' with your children as you would like to be. I know it is easy for me to say as I feel terrible when I am not available. I just wanted to say that perhaps this will be a positive learning experience for your children in some ways - they will learn compassion and empathy, two very valuable character traits. Hope this isn't out of line. Just something that came to mind. Judy. ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ " ~ HeartAtHome@... http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/3144 Moderator Lichen Sclerosus Support and Information List. http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/8843/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 1999 Report Share Posted April 10, 1999 Sandi, I had constant burning pain for 8 months and I, too, thought as you do. Hang in there. There is hope. I now take 75 mg of Amitryptiline a night and it's working. I have flare-ups and tingling feelings but nothing like the burning pain I previously suffered. There's something out there for all of us. I'm sure of that. We just have to find it. Wishing you health and happiness, Sheri In a message dated 4/8/99 2:41:53 PM Eastern Daylight Time, SandiSharp@... writes: << The term managing the pain isn't too comforting to me. If that means psychologically dealing with it better and accepting it but still living in pain, then that would not make me happy. If it means having to take a medicine each day or follow a diet, I can certainly live with that as long as it takes the pain away. I think I could even live with just pain on contact and not having sex again. It is the constant pain that I will not tolerate. Do most people get better from this one way or another? Once my doctor told me that most everyone gets better in a year. Well, I know from my own experience that this is not true, not at least for me. Why do doctors say this? Are we just the hardest cases and most people do get better? >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 1999 Report Share Posted April 10, 1999 Sandi, I had constant burning pain for 8 months and I, too, thought as you do. Hang in there. There is hope. I now take 75 mg of Amitryptiline a night and it's working. I have flare-ups and tingling feelings but nothing like the burning pain I previously suffered. There's something out there for all of us. I'm sure of that. We just have to find it. Wishing you health and happiness, Sheri In a message dated 4/8/99 2:41:53 PM Eastern Daylight Time, SandiSharp@... writes: << The term managing the pain isn't too comforting to me. If that means psychologically dealing with it better and accepting it but still living in pain, then that would not make me happy. If it means having to take a medicine each day or follow a diet, I can certainly live with that as long as it takes the pain away. I think I could even live with just pain on contact and not having sex again. It is the constant pain that I will not tolerate. Do most people get better from this one way or another? Once my doctor told me that most everyone gets better in a year. Well, I know from my own experience that this is not true, not at least for me. Why do doctors say this? Are we just the hardest cases and most people do get better? >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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