Guest guest Posted November 11, 1999 Report Share Posted November 11, 1999 , God is forgiving and many of us have pasts that we regret and probably some of us think that we are being paid back for our past bad lives. People can be unforgiving but God is not. You are taking care of your son now and all you can do is go forward from here. It's so hard not to angonize about the past things we have done especially when it's affected other people. Peg Fraser & Co. wrote: > Biddy, > > You took the words out of my mouth and put them into some sensible order for > me. I also was so moved and didn't know how to say anything nicely. It's > like when someone gets cancer and nobody wants to say that D word but > everybody wants to know. Barbara has endured what I can only imagine. And > the loss of childhood was one of the first things to hit me - really hard. > I was very selfish back in high school. I had a good friend who had kidney > disease. She was hospitalized FOREVER and went through transplant and all > that. I didn't have time for her. I was too busy playing, dating and all > the fun stuff that kids are entitled to do. I went about my way and left > her in the dust. It's the most painful regret that I have to live with the > rest of my life! Talk about guilt!!! I saw Marie at my 20 year class > reunion and she wouldn't even look at me. I don't blame her. I have to > wonder if God didn't take special notes back then and now the paybacks have > come my way. What goes around comes around and I now have been slapped in > the face - and deservingly. I really hate looking back at who I was. It > makes me wonder why I'm even still here on this earth. I've never talked > about it with anyone. It's too embarassing. I just pray for forgiveness > and hope that who I am now will somehow in some small way compensate. I see > Marie's mom around town - I guess it's time for me to look her up and find > out how I can contact Marie. Not that my apology should grant me her > forgiveness, but at least maybe I could feel better knowing that I've owned > up to my mistakes face to face with Marie. I'm going to have to practice > this without crying. The words will come easily and honestly enough, but > how will I ever keep the crying under control. Sorry - I just needed to > verbalize all that. > > > > introduction > > > > > > >Hi my name is my daughter Barbara and I would like to introduce > > >ourselves.We live in Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada. Barb is 17 yr old. When > > >Barb was 14 months old she started having bloody diarrhea, at 2yrs old > > >during a routine check up the Dr found her liver to be very enlarged. At > > >that point we were hospitalized for 3 weeks. After many tests, scopes > > >etc. to rule out many possibilities i.e.; spina bifida, aids and cancer > > >we left the hospital with a diagnosis of some type of bowel disease and > > >some type of liver disease. Over the next 2 years she was on an > > >assortment of drugs which did nothing to help the bowel or liver, > > >prednisone, steroid enemas, imuran, asacol etc.(she ended up constantly > > >on prednisone for 9 yrs) At 4 yrs old we were sent to Sick Kids > > >hospital in Toronto for hope of a diagnosis. PSC and some kind of bowel > > >disease was what we were told.6 years of bloody diarrhea 10 - 12 times a > > >day and the Docs tellus they are pretty sure it is Ulcerative colitis > > >and that she is at risk of Colon Cancer and or perforation of the > > >bowel.Brarb is 101/2 when she goes through 4 surgeries to have her colon > > >removed and a pelvic pouch made out of small intestine and then attached > > >back to her rectum.Other than some bouts with pouchitis Barb has her > > >best quality of life for the next4 yrs. Now she is 14yrs and starting to > > >vomit great amounts of blood after many surgeries and hospital stays for > > >bleeding from the varicies in her esophagus, we are sent to University > > >hospital in London, Ontario for an assessment for a liver Transplant. > > >She is ABpos and is put on the list Aug 96. After 1 dry run she gets her > > >first liver in March97. She is their star patient , off the respirator > > >and out of ICU in 14 hours, Out of the hospital in under a week.4months > > >later back at home she gets very ill, they treat her with mega doses of > > >gancyclover thinking its CMV that wont respond to Meds. After 1 month in > > >hospital we are sent back to University Hospital in London. Within a day > > >they diagnose her with hepatic Artery Thrombosis and tell her she needs > > >a second transoplant.(if you think its bad being told you need a liver > > >TX the first time try hearing it the second time) at 15 yrs old Barb > > >again has to make a life and death decision. She decides to be listed > > >again. Barb is very ill and depressed for the next few months.On Dec 1st > > >1997 Barb gets her second Liver, again I am by myself in london sending > > >her off to the operating room not knowing if I will see her again. After > > >a slower recovery we come home in time for the New Year. It is now > > >almost 2 yrs later and Barb has had her ups and downs (cmv , kidney > > >damage etc.) but we have not had any hospital stays. Barb has managed to > > >make it through only 1 semester of school and working for Mcs for > > >3 months because she is always catching viruses that wipe her out .She > > >has had terrible sinus infections that send her to bed for weeks they > > >finally did surgery and drained them a couple of weeks ago. Barb has > > >gotten very involved with the organ donor office here. She has spoken to > > >High School classes about signing their donor cards, she has spoken on > > >the radio and TV and just finished helping make some Public Service > > >announcements with our local cable co. Sorry for making this intro so > > >long, I did not even get to emotions. Barb is a very loving , mature > > >wonderful young woman whom I have the utmost respect and love for. > > >Transplantation is a treatment not a cure and as long as we keep that in > > >mind Barb and I will continue to get through life . Barb would like me > > >to share her private email add with any kids, or young adults that would > > >like some support or someone their own age to ask questions to or just > > >for a new pen pal. Her ADD is barbiesocute@.... Barb has a very > > >positive attitude and has already supported other teenagers in their > > >facing a transplant. Thanks for listening. > > > > > > > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > >Get A 0% Intro APR Visa with Instant Approval right now a > > >GetSmart.com at http://clickhere./click/1270 > > > > > > > > >-- Check out your eGroup's private Chat room > > >-- /ChatPage?listName= & m=1 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Get A 0% Intro APR Visa with Instant Approval right now a > > GetSmart.com at http://clickhere./click/1270 > > > > > > -- Create a poll/survey for your eGroup! > > -- /vote?listname= & m=1 > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Imagine a credit card with a 0% Intro APR and Instant Approval… > It seems impossible, but it’s not. Visit GetSmart.com’s Credit Card > Finder and click on instant approval cards right now at > http://clickhere./click/1269 > > -- Create a poll/survey for your eGroup! > -- /vote?listname= & m=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.