Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.

Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car

with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the

car over on a country road and said " If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not

moving another inch " . My grandmother complied.

Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't

have 4s as a child.

Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with

people.

Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't

have 4s.

>

>

>

> Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT!

UGH!

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and

how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family

believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS

and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

>

> A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still

creating awkwardness in our relationship.

>

> Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our

mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

>

> I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick

up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

>

> Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my

mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

>

> I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm

upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO

GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

>

> Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my

mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

>

> My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I

was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd

be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

>

> I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when

she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get

her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a

headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.

Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car

with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the

car over on a country road and said " If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not

moving another inch " . My grandmother complied.

Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't

have 4s as a child.

Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with

people.

Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't

have 4s.

>

>

>

> Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT!

UGH!

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and

how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family

believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS

and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

>

> A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still

creating awkwardness in our relationship.

>

> Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our

mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

>

> I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick

up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

>

> Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my

mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

>

> I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm

upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, " GO

GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

>

> Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my

mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

>

> My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I

was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd

be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

>

> I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when

she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get

her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a

headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

>

[Guest guest]

That reminds me that pre 4s I used to like the sound of typing, because my mother was always typing, I'm sure I heard it in the womb. Now it can be a trigger, especially when it is REALLY INTENSE TYPING!!To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 12:56:43 PMSubject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.

Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the car over on a country road and said "If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not moving another inch". My grandmother complied.

Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't have 4s as a child.

Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with people.

Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't have 4s.

>

>

>

> Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM

>

>

> Â

>

>

>

> I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

>

> A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.

>

> Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.

>

> I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

>

> Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!

>

> I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"

>

> Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

>

> My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she was.

>

> I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.

>

[Guest guest]

Maybe we heard eating sounds in the womb. I know we did , but is that where it started?

Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 11:46 AM

That reminds me that pre 4s I used to like the sound of typing, because my mother was always typing, I'm sure I heard it in the womb. Now it can be a trigger, especially when it is REALLY INTENSE TYPING!!

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 12:56:43 PMSubject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the car over on a country road and said "If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not moving another inch". My grandmother complied.Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't have 4s as a child.Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with people.Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't have 4s.> >

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> To: Soundsensitivity > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > Â > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my

sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough,

she was.> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.>

[Guest guest]

Maybe we heard eating sounds in the womb. I know we did , but is that where it started?

Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 11:46 AM

That reminds me that pre 4s I used to like the sound of typing, because my mother was always typing, I'm sure I heard it in the womb. Now it can be a trigger, especially when it is REALLY INTENSE TYPING!!

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 12:56:43 PMSubject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the car over on a country road and said "If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not moving another inch". My grandmother complied.Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't have 4s as a child.Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with people.Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't have 4s.> >

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> To: Soundsensitivity > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > Â > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my

sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough,

she was.> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.>

[Guest guest]

If that is where it started, what would make people not feel this way until (usually) their teens? That's a big gap.Like I've said before, mine didn't start til age 23 and it wasn't eating sounds that started it.†.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2011 14:13:08 -0800Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Maybe we heard eating sounds in the womb. I know we did , but is that where it started?

Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 11:46 AM

That reminds me that pre 4s I used to like the sound of typing, because my mother was always typing, I'm sure I heard it in the womb. Now it can be a trigger, especially when it is REALLY INTENSE TYPING!!

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 12:56:43 PMSubject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the car over on a country road and said "If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not moving another inch". My grandmother complied.Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't have 4s as a child.Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with people.Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't have 4s.> >

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> To: Soundsensitivity > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > Â > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my

sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough,

she was.> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.>

[Guest guest]

If that is where it started, what would make people not feel this way until (usually) their teens? That's a big gap.Like I've said before, mine didn't start til age 23 and it wasn't eating sounds that started it.†.:. Mae .:.†

You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory. And you are receiving the goal of your faith -- the salvation of your souls. -1 1:8-9 (NCV)To: Soundsensitivity From: michael.lawrence57@...Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2011 14:13:08 -0800Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Maybe we heard eating sounds in the womb. I know we did , but is that where it started?

Subject: Re: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 11:46 AM

That reminds me that pre 4s I used to like the sound of typing, because my mother was always typing, I'm sure I heard it in the womb. Now it can be a trigger, especially when it is REALLY INTENSE TYPING!!

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 12:56:43 PMSubject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!

Sorry to hear this but I understand how you feel.Just a side note: One time ( when I was a child) my mother was driving the car with my gum popping grandmother in the front seat. My mother suddenly pulled the car over on a country road and said "If you don't stop popping that gum I'm not moving another inch". My grandmother complied.Funny, tho, I liked the sound of my grandmother's popping. I obviously didn't have 4s as a child.Mine started in adulthood, mostly from changing my diet and being annoyed with people.Also, I have found that most people are annoyed by that sound even if they don't have 4s.> >

> > Subject: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!> To: Soundsensitivity > Date: Sunday, February 6, 2011, 6:04 AM> > > Â > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me, RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my

sister called to say that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications, etc.> > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING NOISES!> > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough,

she was.> > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her right out the door.>

[Guest guest]

Cate, I never referred to 4S as a minor issue.

What I want to convey is that if the sensitivity is confined to one type

of sound and the aversive response is not particularly great, then in

such a case it isn't much of a problem when you consider the grand

scheme of things.

smn

>

> Yes, for some reason the posts sometimes take a while to come up. Both

of yours did show up.

>

> Your question is very valid. It's good to have an objective outside

view and probing questions which make us think more objectively about

the condition. I have thought the very same thing: Why can I tolerate

one person's sound more than another? And why do I tolerate a person's

sound up to a certain point, after which it becomes unbearable? But why

are there certain sounds that I don't tolerate from anyone?

>

> Still I'm not sure that I would call 4S a minor issue. I would argue,

at least with the experience I have up to this point, that 4S tends to

aggravate other problems, and other problems tend to aggravate 4S. That

makes it hard to distinguish which is really the root issue.

>

> Anyway, I appreciate your POV and desire to learn from us. Keep

shooting.

>

> Cate

[Guest guest]

Cate, I never referred to 4S as a minor issue.

What I want to convey is that if the sensitivity is confined to one type

of sound and the aversive response is not particularly great, then in

such a case it isn't much of a problem when you consider the grand

scheme of things.

smn

>

> Yes, for some reason the posts sometimes take a while to come up. Both

of yours did show up.

>

> Your question is very valid. It's good to have an objective outside

view and probing questions which make us think more objectively about

the condition. I have thought the very same thing: Why can I tolerate

one person's sound more than another? And why do I tolerate a person's

sound up to a certain point, after which it becomes unbearable? But why

are there certain sounds that I don't tolerate from anyone?

>

> Still I'm not sure that I would call 4S a minor issue. I would argue,

at least with the experience I have up to this point, that 4S tends to

aggravate other problems, and other problems tend to aggravate 4S. That

makes it hard to distinguish which is really the root issue.

>

> Anyway, I appreciate your POV and desire to learn from us. Keep

shooting.

>

> Cate

[Guest guest]

Cate, I never referred to 4S as a minor issue.

What I want to convey is that if the sensitivity is confined to one type

of sound and the aversive response is not particularly great, then in

such a case it isn't much of a problem when you consider the grand

scheme of things.

smn

>

> Yes, for some reason the posts sometimes take a while to come up. Both

of yours did show up.

>

> Your question is very valid. It's good to have an objective outside

view and probing questions which make us think more objectively about

the condition. I have thought the very same thing: Why can I tolerate

one person's sound more than another? And why do I tolerate a person's

sound up to a certain point, after which it becomes unbearable? But why

are there certain sounds that I don't tolerate from anyone?

>

> Still I'm not sure that I would call 4S a minor issue. I would argue,

at least with the experience I have up to this point, that 4S tends to

aggravate other problems, and other problems tend to aggravate 4S. That

makes it hard to distinguish which is really the root issue.

>

> Anyway, I appreciate your POV and desire to learn from us. Keep

shooting.

>

> Cate

[Guest guest]

To the logical person, the fact that 4s sufferers usually react more strongly  to family members and not as badly to strangers, you would think “oh well then they obviously have a psychological issue with their family members.”  My daughter’s worst trigger is her oldest sister.  She doesn’t know why.  Her sister and she have a very good relationship and she feels very guilty when she gets mad at her sister over a sound. I believe many people have less tolerance with family because, like so many other things, we just have a subconscious expectation that our family should understand.  Plus, even those of us who don’t have 4s are much less patient and get way more easily irritated with family members than with other people.  Think of how you are with work colleagues or strangers as opposed to when you’re at home with your spouse or children.  It’s sad, but we are on a whole different level with our family.  Familiarity seems to make the triggers worse. Also, many people in this group have said that when they first meet someone they are interested in they don’t notice their sounds.  However, after about 3 months they all of a sudden start having problems with their noises.  I think that this is because while the brain is in the “infatuation” stage it covers up the part of the brain that is being triggered.  (I saw a show about how when a person is infatuated part of their brain lights up when they are around that person—the same part of the brain that lights up when they are on drugs).  They said this phase lasts about 3 months—which explains why the sounds start bothering 4s sufferers after that time, when the “drug” effect has worn off. My daughter has issues with everyone, and not just eating sounds.  The clicking of hangers if we go in a clothing store really bothers her.  We’ve had to leave many times while shopping—and she loves to shop!!  Plus, she isn’t just bothered by the sounds, she has a freakish ability to hear these sounds.  One morning she was asleep in bed, her sound machine running next to her head, and she started moaning in her sleep.  When I went to see what was wrong, she asked “What is that clicking sound?”  Amazingly she heard my husband clipping his fingernails over her sound machine, through 3 rooms, past a TV that was on, and doors were closed. Plus, her room has acoustic insulation in the walls.  That just blew me away.  She remembers being “normal” and says she cries and wishes she could be like that again. What seems to be obviously “logical” just isn’t with 4s.   This condition is so bizarre and complex.  The problem is that doctors just look at it and say “Oh they are just bothered by that person and now that person’s sounds irritate them too.”   I wish it was that simple.  WE NEED RESEARCH!!! From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of SeriouslyConsiderTheCatSent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 3:23 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH! Well, here are The Cat's thoughts. Please remember - I'm very new here.In your initial post all you talked about was the gum cracking sound that your mother-in-law makes. There was no mention of any other gum cracking sounds at all, although they are not all that uncommon in everyday life. So it seems to The Cat that you are markedly more sensitive to those sounds when they are made by your mother-in-law. At least that's how The Cat sees it.The Cat feels that you likely have a relatively minor problem with 4S - and a relatively major problem with your mother-in-law. That said, The Cat thinks you ought to ignore the problem with 4S for now and (maybe in therapy?) focus on what's bothering you about your mother-in-law - because The Cat thinks your issues with your mother-in-law likely go way way past the sound she makes cracking her gum. The Cat thinks that your sensitivity to the crackling sounds made by your mother-in-law are merely where your conflict has been focused. The problem is the conflict, not the sound.Whether or not you should seek some sort of therapy depends on the value you place on your family unit vis-a-vis how your relationship with your mother-in-law affects the integrity of your family.The Cat has spoken! (But The Cat don't know jack spit - it's just a stab!)Best to ya -smn> > >> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > >> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > >> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,> > etc.> > >> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > >> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING> > NOISES!> > >> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! " > > >> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > >> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she> > was.> > >> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her> > right out the door.> > >>

[Guest guest]

To the logical person, the fact that 4s sufferers usually react more strongly  to family members and not as badly to strangers, you would think “oh well then they obviously have a psychological issue with their family members.”  My daughter’s worst trigger is her oldest sister.  She doesn’t know why.  Her sister and she have a very good relationship and she feels very guilty when she gets mad at her sister over a sound. I believe many people have less tolerance with family because, like so many other things, we just have a subconscious expectation that our family should understand.  Plus, even those of us who don’t have 4s are much less patient and get way more easily irritated with family members than with other people.  Think of how you are with work colleagues or strangers as opposed to when you’re at home with your spouse or children.  It’s sad, but we are on a whole different level with our family.  Familiarity seems to make the triggers worse. Also, many people in this group have said that when they first meet someone they are interested in they don’t notice their sounds.  However, after about 3 months they all of a sudden start having problems with their noises.  I think that this is because while the brain is in the “infatuation” stage it covers up the part of the brain that is being triggered.  (I saw a show about how when a person is infatuated part of their brain lights up when they are around that person—the same part of the brain that lights up when they are on drugs).  They said this phase lasts about 3 months—which explains why the sounds start bothering 4s sufferers after that time, when the “drug” effect has worn off. My daughter has issues with everyone, and not just eating sounds.  The clicking of hangers if we go in a clothing store really bothers her.  We’ve had to leave many times while shopping—and she loves to shop!!  Plus, she isn’t just bothered by the sounds, she has a freakish ability to hear these sounds.  One morning she was asleep in bed, her sound machine running next to her head, and she started moaning in her sleep.  When I went to see what was wrong, she asked “What is that clicking sound?”  Amazingly she heard my husband clipping his fingernails over her sound machine, through 3 rooms, past a TV that was on, and doors were closed. Plus, her room has acoustic insulation in the walls.  That just blew me away.  She remembers being “normal” and says she cries and wishes she could be like that again. What seems to be obviously “logical” just isn’t with 4s.   This condition is so bizarre and complex.  The problem is that doctors just look at it and say “Oh they are just bothered by that person and now that person’s sounds irritate them too.”   I wish it was that simple.  WE NEED RESEARCH!!! From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of SeriouslyConsiderTheCatSent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 3:23 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH! Well, here are The Cat's thoughts. Please remember - I'm very new here.In your initial post all you talked about was the gum cracking sound that your mother-in-law makes. There was no mention of any other gum cracking sounds at all, although they are not all that uncommon in everyday life. So it seems to The Cat that you are markedly more sensitive to those sounds when they are made by your mother-in-law. At least that's how The Cat sees it.The Cat feels that you likely have a relatively minor problem with 4S - and a relatively major problem with your mother-in-law. That said, The Cat thinks you ought to ignore the problem with 4S for now and (maybe in therapy?) focus on what's bothering you about your mother-in-law - because The Cat thinks your issues with your mother-in-law likely go way way past the sound she makes cracking her gum. The Cat thinks that your sensitivity to the crackling sounds made by your mother-in-law are merely where your conflict has been focused. The problem is the conflict, not the sound.Whether or not you should seek some sort of therapy depends on the value you place on your family unit vis-a-vis how your relationship with your mother-in-law affects the integrity of your family.The Cat has spoken! (But The Cat don't know jack spit - it's just a stab!)Best to ya -smn> > >> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > >> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > >> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,> > etc.> > >> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > >> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING> > NOISES!> > >> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! " > > >> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > >> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she> > was.> > >> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her> > right out the door.> > >>

[Guest guest]

To the logical person, the fact that 4s sufferers usually react more strongly  to family members and not as badly to strangers, you would think “oh well then they obviously have a psychological issue with their family members.”  My daughter’s worst trigger is her oldest sister.  She doesn’t know why.  Her sister and she have a very good relationship and she feels very guilty when she gets mad at her sister over a sound. I believe many people have less tolerance with family because, like so many other things, we just have a subconscious expectation that our family should understand.  Plus, even those of us who don’t have 4s are much less patient and get way more easily irritated with family members than with other people.  Think of how you are with work colleagues or strangers as opposed to when you’re at home with your spouse or children.  It’s sad, but we are on a whole different level with our family.  Familiarity seems to make the triggers worse. Also, many people in this group have said that when they first meet someone they are interested in they don’t notice their sounds.  However, after about 3 months they all of a sudden start having problems with their noises.  I think that this is because while the brain is in the “infatuation” stage it covers up the part of the brain that is being triggered.  (I saw a show about how when a person is infatuated part of their brain lights up when they are around that person—the same part of the brain that lights up when they are on drugs).  They said this phase lasts about 3 months—which explains why the sounds start bothering 4s sufferers after that time, when the “drug” effect has worn off. My daughter has issues with everyone, and not just eating sounds.  The clicking of hangers if we go in a clothing store really bothers her.  We’ve had to leave many times while shopping—and she loves to shop!!  Plus, she isn’t just bothered by the sounds, she has a freakish ability to hear these sounds.  One morning she was asleep in bed, her sound machine running next to her head, and she started moaning in her sleep.  When I went to see what was wrong, she asked “What is that clicking sound?”  Amazingly she heard my husband clipping his fingernails over her sound machine, through 3 rooms, past a TV that was on, and doors were closed. Plus, her room has acoustic insulation in the walls.  That just blew me away.  She remembers being “normal” and says she cries and wishes she could be like that again. What seems to be obviously “logical” just isn’t with 4s.   This condition is so bizarre and complex.  The problem is that doctors just look at it and say “Oh they are just bothered by that person and now that person’s sounds irritate them too.”   I wish it was that simple.  WE NEED RESEARCH!!! From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of SeriouslyConsiderTheCatSent: Tuesday, February 08, 2011 3:23 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH! Well, here are The Cat's thoughts. Please remember - I'm very new here.In your initial post all you talked about was the gum cracking sound that your mother-in-law makes. There was no mention of any other gum cracking sounds at all, although they are not all that uncommon in everyday life. So it seems to The Cat that you are markedly more sensitive to those sounds when they are made by your mother-in-law. At least that's how The Cat sees it.The Cat feels that you likely have a relatively minor problem with 4S - and a relatively major problem with your mother-in-law. That said, The Cat thinks you ought to ignore the problem with 4S for now and (maybe in therapy?) focus on what's bothering you about your mother-in-law - because The Cat thinks your issues with your mother-in-law likely go way way past the sound she makes cracking her gum. The Cat thinks that your sensitivity to the crackling sounds made by your mother-in-law are merely where your conflict has been focused. The problem is the conflict, not the sound.Whether or not you should seek some sort of therapy depends on the value you place on your family unit vis-a-vis how your relationship with your mother-in-law affects the integrity of your family.The Cat has spoken! (But The Cat don't know jack spit - it's just a stab!)Best to ya -smn> > >> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > >> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > >> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,> > etc.> > >> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > >> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING> > NOISES!> > >> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! " > > >> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > >> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she> > was.> > >> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her> > right out the door.> > >>

[Guest guest]

--- In Soundsensitivity , "Kathy Howe" wrote [in part]:What seems to be obviously "logical" just isn't with 4s. This condition is so bizarre and complex.............In many ways it is; in many ways it isn't...............WE NEED RESEARCH!!!..............I agree. And since you SHOUTED IT IN CAPS, you must feel very strongly about it. So in the past six months exactly how many letters have you written to your representatives in Congress explaining what 4S is, how it impacts the economy, and why the government needs to allocate funds for 4S research?No need to answer. Just something to think about.smn

[Guest guest]

--- In Soundsensitivity , "Kathy Howe" wrote [in part]:What seems to be obviously "logical" just isn't with 4s. This condition is so bizarre and complex.............In many ways it is; in many ways it isn't...............WE NEED RESEARCH!!!..............I agree. And since you SHOUTED IT IN CAPS, you must feel very strongly about it. So in the past six months exactly how many letters have you written to your representatives in Congress explaining what 4S is, how it impacts the economy, and why the government needs to allocate funds for 4S research?No need to answer. Just something to think about.smn

[Guest guest]

--- In Soundsensitivity , "Kathy Howe" wrote [in part]:What seems to be obviously "logical" just isn't with 4s. This condition is so bizarre and complex.............In many ways it is; in many ways it isn't...............WE NEED RESEARCH!!!..............I agree. And since you SHOUTED IT IN CAPS, you must feel very strongly about it. So in the past six months exactly how many letters have you written to your representatives in Congress explaining what 4S is, how it impacts the economy, and why the government needs to allocate funds for 4S research?No need to answer. Just something to think about.smn

[Guest guest]

I hate the sound of gum cracking no matter WHO is doing it!  ALWAYS bothers me to the point of having to get away from it.  It is NOT done on most of the planet and not done in most countries of the world.  I've found it only in the USA and done mostly by African American women (although I do have a lady friend in Tel Aviv who is Israeli and always chews gum too).   Luckily, it is NOT common (as, for example,  dogs barking which is hard to get away from when you live in a neighborhood where they " think " everyone is " dog friendly " ).  I hardly encounter people chewing gum!

 

May I intervene in this conversation? Many people have the experience that one person, a relative or other person that we are around often, bothers us more than other. For years I believed what you are saying, Mr Nagler--that I hated my father's sniffling because I had a subconscious problem with my father. Imagine my surprise when other people's sniffling started to bother me, then the sounds of other--sounds that my father never made, then repetitive habits of other. I've tried to no avail to figure out through counseling what was the problem I had with my original trigger person. Actually I have a wonderful relationship with my father through phone contact and short visits, but if I'm around him more than a week, the triggers become unbearable again. BTW, the same happens with other people once their sounds (and habits) become familiar to me.

While I respect your opinion and believe there is validity in what you are saying, I'm not sure that it is as easy as you make it out to be. How I wish it were! Even is 4S is a minor problem, it sure does have a major effect on our relationships. It greatly aggravates whatever other problems exist. Maybe if we seek therapy for every other problem in life, our 4S will disappear too. That would be nice!

Thanks for allowing me to express my thoughts!

Cate

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in

> >

> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else

> in

> >

> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,

> >

> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is

> still

> >

> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say

> >

> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,

> >

> > etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and

> have

> >

> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was

> sick

> >

> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND

> CRACKING

> >

> > NOISES!

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but

> >

> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra

> >

> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage

> >

> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day

> and

> >

> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because

> I

> >

> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she

> >

> > was.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE

> >

> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I

> >

> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how

> >

> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her

> >

> > right out the door.

> >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I hate the sound of gum cracking no matter WHO is doing it!  ALWAYS bothers me to the point of having to get away from it.  It is NOT done on most of the planet and not done in most countries of the world.  I've found it only in the USA and done mostly by African American women (although I do have a lady friend in Tel Aviv who is Israeli and always chews gum too).   Luckily, it is NOT common (as, for example,  dogs barking which is hard to get away from when you live in a neighborhood where they " think " everyone is " dog friendly " ).  I hardly encounter people chewing gum!

 

May I intervene in this conversation? Many people have the experience that one person, a relative or other person that we are around often, bothers us more than other. For years I believed what you are saying, Mr Nagler--that I hated my father's sniffling because I had a subconscious problem with my father. Imagine my surprise when other people's sniffling started to bother me, then the sounds of other--sounds that my father never made, then repetitive habits of other. I've tried to no avail to figure out through counseling what was the problem I had with my original trigger person. Actually I have a wonderful relationship with my father through phone contact and short visits, but if I'm around him more than a week, the triggers become unbearable again. BTW, the same happens with other people once their sounds (and habits) become familiar to me.

While I respect your opinion and believe there is validity in what you are saying, I'm not sure that it is as easy as you make it out to be. How I wish it were! Even is 4S is a minor problem, it sure does have a major effect on our relationships. It greatly aggravates whatever other problems exist. Maybe if we seek therapy for every other problem in life, our 4S will disappear too. That would be nice!

Thanks for allowing me to express my thoughts!

Cate

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in

> >

> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else

> in

> >

> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,

> >

> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is

> still

> >

> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say

> >

> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,

> >

> > etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and

> have

> >

> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was

> sick

> >

> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND

> CRACKING

> >

> > NOISES!

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but

> >

> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra

> >

> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage

> >

> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day

> and

> >

> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because

> I

> >

> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she

> >

> > was.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE

> >

> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I

> >

> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how

> >

> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her

> >

> > right out the door.

> >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I hate the sound of gum cracking no matter WHO is doing it!  ALWAYS bothers me to the point of having to get away from it.  It is NOT done on most of the planet and not done in most countries of the world.  I've found it only in the USA and done mostly by African American women (although I do have a lady friend in Tel Aviv who is Israeli and always chews gum too).   Luckily, it is NOT common (as, for example,  dogs barking which is hard to get away from when you live in a neighborhood where they " think " everyone is " dog friendly " ).  I hardly encounter people chewing gum!

 

May I intervene in this conversation? Many people have the experience that one person, a relative or other person that we are around often, bothers us more than other. For years I believed what you are saying, Mr Nagler--that I hated my father's sniffling because I had a subconscious problem with my father. Imagine my surprise when other people's sniffling started to bother me, then the sounds of other--sounds that my father never made, then repetitive habits of other. I've tried to no avail to figure out through counseling what was the problem I had with my original trigger person. Actually I have a wonderful relationship with my father through phone contact and short visits, but if I'm around him more than a week, the triggers become unbearable again. BTW, the same happens with other people once their sounds (and habits) become familiar to me.

While I respect your opinion and believe there is validity in what you are saying, I'm not sure that it is as easy as you make it out to be. How I wish it were! Even is 4S is a minor problem, it sure does have a major effect on our relationships. It greatly aggravates whatever other problems exist. Maybe if we seek therapy for every other problem in life, our 4S will disappear too. That would be nice!

Thanks for allowing me to express my thoughts!

Cate

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in

> >

> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else

> in

> >

> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,

> >

> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is

> still

> >

> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say

> >

> > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,

> >

> > etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and

> have

> >

> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was

> sick

> >

> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND

> CRACKING

> >

> > NOISES!

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but

> >

> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra

> >

> > upset and said, " GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO! "

> >

> > >

> >

> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage

> >

> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day

> and

> >

> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because

> I

> >

> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she

> >

> > was.

> >

> > >

> >

> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE

> >

> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I

> >

> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how

> >

> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her

> >

> > right out the door.

> >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I suffer from misophonia and am just reading the various emails about contacting our representatives and even the President about NIH research. I am very, very skeptical about that. This is a time of budget cuts, and, unfortunately, the opposition is very, very strong to even a simple proposal requiring everyone in the U.S.A. to get health insurance, and the Repulicans are trying to repeal it. I know I'm probably getting political here, but I doubt if you would be taken seriously at all -- not in the current mood in the U.S. Congress.

Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 11:44 PM

Well peeps... I say we bombard the government with letters like we did the NIH. It did get their attention. We will never know the outcome unless we try right? Here is the address you can use to locate your representatives or even write Mr. President. http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml We could do something similar like we did with the NIH where we sent them in during a certain time frame. What does everyone think???> >> > We wrote to the NIH and they said they were interested in a study. > Being> > that they are funded by the government and they do research on> undiagnosed> >

conditions, I thought they were a good place to start.> >> >> >> > It would be interesting if we all wrote our Representatives. However,> that> > would consist of letters going to many different Congressmen who would> > probably brush us off as "crazies." We would need to focus a letter> writing> > campaign towards one entity, so it wouldn't be so diluted across all> 50> > states. Believe me, I've thought of this. I've also thought of> sitting> > outside of the Capitol (I live in Washington DC) and possibly marching> with> > signs, or even doing a hunger strike to get publicity for this> condition.> >> >> >> > I agree that since we pay taxes (many taxes), we deserve research for> this> > condition that affects so many people.> >>

>> >> > We bombarded the NIH back in 2008 and they seemed to be interested and> said> > they needed time to put a study together. I need to email them and> ask how> > it is going.> >> >> >> > As far as shouting "WE NEED RESEARCH" that is pretty much my mantra> and> > shows how frustrated I am with this condition. I didn't mean it> rudely.> >> >> >> > Thanks for your input.> >>

Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debatein the Yahoo! Answers Food Drink Q&A.

[Guest guest]

I suffer from misophonia and am just reading the various emails about contacting our representatives and even the President about NIH research. I am very, very skeptical about that. This is a time of budget cuts, and, unfortunately, the opposition is very, very strong to even a simple proposal requiring everyone in the U.S.A. to get health insurance, and the Repulicans are trying to repeal it. I know I'm probably getting political here, but I doubt if you would be taken seriously at all -- not in the current mood in the U.S. Congress.

Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 11:44 PM

Well peeps... I say we bombard the government with letters like we did the NIH. It did get their attention. We will never know the outcome unless we try right? Here is the address you can use to locate your representatives or even write Mr. President. http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml We could do something similar like we did with the NIH where we sent them in during a certain time frame. What does everyone think???> >> > We wrote to the NIH and they said they were interested in a study. > Being> > that they are funded by the government and they do research on> undiagnosed> >

conditions, I thought they were a good place to start.> >> >> >> > It would be interesting if we all wrote our Representatives. However,> that> > would consist of letters going to many different Congressmen who would> > probably brush us off as "crazies." We would need to focus a letter> writing> > campaign towards one entity, so it wouldn't be so diluted across all> 50> > states. Believe me, I've thought of this. I've also thought of> sitting> > outside of the Capitol (I live in Washington DC) and possibly marching> with> > signs, or even doing a hunger strike to get publicity for this> condition.> >> >> >> > I agree that since we pay taxes (many taxes), we deserve research for> this> > condition that affects so many people.> >>

>> >> > We bombarded the NIH back in 2008 and they seemed to be interested and> said> > they needed time to put a study together. I need to email them and> ask how> > it is going.> >> >> >> > As far as shouting "WE NEED RESEARCH" that is pretty much my mantra> and> > shows how frustrated I am with this condition. I didn't mean it> rudely.> >> >> >> > Thanks for your input.> >>

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I suffer from misophonia and am just reading the various emails about contacting our representatives and even the President about NIH research. I am very, very skeptical about that. This is a time of budget cuts, and, unfortunately, the opposition is very, very strong to even a simple proposal requiring everyone in the U.S.A. to get health insurance, and the Repulicans are trying to repeal it. I know I'm probably getting political here, but I doubt if you would be taken seriously at all -- not in the current mood in the U.S. Congress.

Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 11:44 PM

Well peeps... I say we bombard the government with letters like we did the NIH. It did get their attention. We will never know the outcome unless we try right? Here is the address you can use to locate your representatives or even write Mr. President. http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml We could do something similar like we did with the NIH where we sent them in during a certain time frame. What does everyone think???> >> > We wrote to the NIH and they said they were interested in a study. > Being> > that they are funded by the government and they do research on> undiagnosed> >

conditions, I thought they were a good place to start.> >> >> >> > It would be interesting if we all wrote our Representatives. However,> that> > would consist of letters going to many different Congressmen who would> > probably brush us off as "crazies." We would need to focus a letter> writing> > campaign towards one entity, so it wouldn't be so diluted across all> 50> > states. Believe me, I've thought of this. I've also thought of> sitting> > outside of the Capitol (I live in Washington DC) and possibly marching> with> > signs, or even doing a hunger strike to get publicity for this> condition.> >> >> >> > I agree that since we pay taxes (many taxes), we deserve research for> this> > condition that affects so many people.> >>

>> >> > We bombarded the NIH back in 2008 and they seemed to be interested and> said> > they needed time to put a study together. I need to email them and> ask how> > it is going.> >> >> >> > As far as shouting "WE NEED RESEARCH" that is pretty much my mantra> and> > shows how frustrated I am with this condition. I didn't mean it> rudely.> >> >> >> > Thanks for your input.> >>

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Hmmm, interesting theory Cat However, when my MIL is NOT chewing gum I actually adore her. That's the strange part. She's actually a very loving and supportive woman. There are some minor things that bug me, but nothing too big.When she is popping the gum however, she becomes (forgive me) a monster like creature.Subject: Re: My Gum Cracking Mother in Law: She's STILL AT IT! UGH!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 3:22 PM

Well, here are The Cat's thoughts. Please remember - I'm very new here.In your initial post all you talked about was the gum cracking sound that your mother-in-law makes. There was no mention of any other gum cracking sounds at all, although they are not all that uncommon in everyday life. So it seems to The Cat that you are markedly more sensitive to those sounds when they are made by your mother-in-law. At least that's how The Cat sees it.The Cat feels that you likely have a relatively minor problem with 4S - and a relatively major problem with your mother-in-law. That said, The Cat thinks you ought to ignore the problem with 4S for now and (maybe in therapy?) focus on what's bothering you about your mother-in-law - because The Cat thinks your issues with your mother-in-law likely go way way past the sound she makes cracking her gum. The Cat thinks that your sensitivity to the crackling sounds

made by your mother-in-law are merely where your conflict has been focused. The problem is the conflict, not the sound.Whether or not you should seek some sort of therapy depends on the value you place on your family unit vis-a-vis how your relationship with your mother-in-law affects the integrity of your family.The Cat has spoken! (But The Cat don't know jack spit - it's just a stab!)Best to ya -smn> > >> > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in> > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in> > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,> > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > >> > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still> > creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > >> > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say> > that our mother was in the hospital

with severe health complications,> > etc.> > >> > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have> > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > >> > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick> > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING> > NOISES!> > >> > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but> > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra> > upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > >> > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage> > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > >> > > My

mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and> > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I> > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she> > was.> > >> > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE> > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I> > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how> > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her> > right out the door.> > >>

Don't pick lemons.

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[Guest guest]

I understand, Charlene.All I am trying to do is step back and offer general observations. Sometimes when it's in your face, it's tough to see the forest for the trees.So here's my take on it more globally ...You have 4S, but in the grand scheme of things is does not markedly affect your life except when your mother-in-law is making the sound. And otherwise you have a great relationship with her. I get all that. You also say that when your mother-in-law pops gum, she becomes a monster.Well the fact is that your mother-in-law is the very same person whether or not she is popping gum. You are what is turning her into that monster by virtue of your 4S. It's not your fault, of course, but it is what it is. What is interesting to me about all of this ... and what I suspect a therapist would want to explore with you ... is your total failure to acknowledge your crucial role in turning her into this monster. (Re-read your posts in this thread, and maybe you'll catch my drift.)The goal in therapy would not be to treat your 4S. The goal would be to give you the tools so that over time your mother-in-law would be less of a monster in your eyes.As I see it. And please do not be offended by what I have written. Likely it's worth no more than what you paid for it.The Cat> > > > >> > > > > I've posted over the past few years about my gum cracking mother in> > > > law and how I am STUCK because I cannot confront her and no one else in> > > > my family believes me or supports me regarding her, forgive me,> > > > RIDICULOUS AND OBNOXIOUS and DELIBERATE gum popping and snapping, etc.> > > > >> > > > > A year later I am STILL just AVOIDING her at all costs and it is still> > > > creating awkwardness in our relationship.> > > > >> > > > > Last week I was in the lobby at church and my sister called to say> > > > that our mother was in the hospital with severe health complications,> > > > etc.> > > > >> > > > > I started crying and looked for my mother in law to tell her and have> > > > her pick up the kids from Sunday school so I could leave, etc.> > > > >> > > > > Well all the while I was crying and telling her how my mother was sick> > > > my mother in law was GNAWING ON THE GUM and making SNAPPING AND CRACKING> > > > NOISES!> > > > >> > > > > I lost it folks! It's bad enough that she does it ALL THE TIME but> > > > when I'm upset about something it just makes it worse. I got extra> > > > upset and said, "GO GET THE KIDS! I HAVE TO GO!"> > > > >> > > > > Being upset about my mother was bad enough and then I had the rage> > > > from my mother in law's gum cracking, etc.> > > > >> > > > > My mother in law was watching my kids when I worked the other day and> > > > when I was on my way home my heart started pounding in anxiety because I> > > > feared she'd be cracking the gum when I walked in. Sure enough, she> > > > was.> > > > >> > > > > I have now found that I have to find excuses to NOT LOOK HER IN THE> > > > FACE when she does it because the visual sets me off worse. Also, I> > > > find excuses to get her to LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE such as how> > > > yesterday I pretended to have a headache and more or less threw her> > > > right out the door.> > > > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________> Bored stiff? Loosen up... > Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.> http://games.yahoo.com/games/front>