Re: Ack / round two,, advice needed

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your support:) This morning I was blessed with a second

message from her and now am fuming. The story goes like this. My dad

died a few weeks ago, before the funeral I put together a CD that had

a slideshow on it and put it to a song, Had about 50 pics with family

members and such it was a huge hit after the funeral when people came

over to the house and such. My mom who I was getting along with at the

time and who was majorly impressed with it gave me 100 to buy the

program and make all the family members copies, I had used the

evaluation version and it put a banner on the slides which was ok but

would look better without.. , so I get home buy the program, Waited

for pics from my sis to add in .. I did it and sent it this past week.

I spent at least 10 hours on it.

She leaves a message telling me she heard I finished the CD and sent

it already but had not done as " she " asked. She wanted to send more

pics to add. I had told her when she told me that it might take her a

year to find them all. I told her I would be happy to add those in for

her CD and make her a new one when she got me the pics but for now the

rest of the family didnt want to wait a year. so I wanted them to have

thiers now. Had all the pics they wanted on it. She tells me to either

send her , her 100 bucks back or send her the program so my brother

and her can work on it there would be easier for her she says. I am

just so angry as this was the one time people were genuinely happy

about something I had done. It was my gift and even though she gave me

money for the program I am the one who put my time and heart into

doing it . now its about her. I dont want to send the money or the

frikkin program. I shouldnt have to ugh. I could spit nails about

now.any thoughts on what to do?

>

> Hi ,

>

> Please do not call her back unless and until you are ready. No matter

> the reason for her abuse, the results are the same. Even if you feel

> you have to wait until you talk to your psychiatrist again, then let

> nada wait. You must take care of yourself first, and that means

> emotionally as well as in other ways. You should not feel guilty for

> caring for yourself first no matter what her situation is or might be.

> Take this as a chance, an opportunity to stand up for yourself and

> call or not call whenever you are truly ready. If she is really ill,

> this may be one of the last times you'll get to do it while she's

> alive. Standing up for yourself will make you feel so good about

> yourself in the long run, even though it may be uncomfortable in the

> short term.

>

> And I hate that so much when nada rages at me then acts like nothing

> happened because she feels better now that she's discharged all of her

> negative energy on me. It's just not right that she feels okay about

> doing that to you, no matter what the situation may be.

>

> Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

> Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'd send the program to her, she bought it..and NOT say a thing to her..no

note, either...

Jackie

Thanks for your support:) This morning I was blessed with a second

message from her and now am fuming. The story goes like this. My dad

died a few weeks ago, before the funeral I put together a CD that had

a slideshow on it and put it to a song, Had about 50 pics with family

members and such it was a huge hit after the funeral when people came

over to the house and such. My mom who I was getting along with at the

time and who was majorly impressed with it gave me 100 to buy the

program and make all the family members copies, I had used the

evaluation version and it put a banner on the slides which was ok but

would look better without.. , so I get home buy the program, Waited

for pics from my sis to add in .. I did it and sent it this past week.

I spent at least 10 hours on it.

She leaves a message telling me she heard I finished the CD and sent

it already but had not done as " she " asked. She wanted to send more

pics to add. I had told her when she told me that it might take her a

year to find them all. I told her I would be happy to add those in for

her CD and make her a new one when she got me the pics but for now the

rest of the family didnt want to wait a year. so I wanted them to have

thiers now. Had all the pics they wanted on it. She tells me to either

send her , her 100 bucks back or send her the program so my brother

and her can work on it there would be easier for her she says. I am

just so angry as this was the one time people were genuinely happy

about something I had done. It was my gift and even though she gave me

money for the program I am the one who put my time and heart into

doing it . now its about her. I dont want to send the money or the

frikkin program. I shouldnt have to ugh. I could spit nails about

now.any thoughts on what to do?

[Guest guest]

I'd send the program to her, she bought it..and NOT say a thing to her..no

note, either...

Jackie

Thanks for your support:) This morning I was blessed with a second

message from her and now am fuming. The story goes like this. My dad

died a few weeks ago, before the funeral I put together a CD that had

a slideshow on it and put it to a song, Had about 50 pics with family

members and such it was a huge hit after the funeral when people came

over to the house and such. My mom who I was getting along with at the

time and who was majorly impressed with it gave me 100 to buy the

program and make all the family members copies, I had used the

evaluation version and it put a banner on the slides which was ok but

would look better without.. , so I get home buy the program, Waited

for pics from my sis to add in .. I did it and sent it this past week.

I spent at least 10 hours on it.

She leaves a message telling me she heard I finished the CD and sent

it already but had not done as " she " asked. She wanted to send more

pics to add. I had told her when she told me that it might take her a

year to find them all. I told her I would be happy to add those in for

her CD and make her a new one when she got me the pics but for now the

rest of the family didnt want to wait a year. so I wanted them to have

thiers now. Had all the pics they wanted on it. She tells me to either

send her , her 100 bucks back or send her the program so my brother

and her can work on it there would be easier for her she says. I am

just so angry as this was the one time people were genuinely happy

about something I had done. It was my gift and even though she gave me

money for the program I am the one who put my time and heart into

doing it . now its about her. I dont want to send the money or the

frikkin program. I shouldnt have to ugh. I could spit nails about

now.any thoughts on what to do?

[Guest guest]

I'd send the program to her, she bought it..and NOT say a thing to her..no

note, either...

Jackie

Thanks for your support:) This morning I was blessed with a second

message from her and now am fuming. The story goes like this. My dad

died a few weeks ago, before the funeral I put together a CD that had

a slideshow on it and put it to a song, Had about 50 pics with family

members and such it was a huge hit after the funeral when people came

over to the house and such. My mom who I was getting along with at the

time and who was majorly impressed with it gave me 100 to buy the

program and make all the family members copies, I had used the

evaluation version and it put a banner on the slides which was ok but

would look better without.. , so I get home buy the program, Waited

for pics from my sis to add in .. I did it and sent it this past week.

I spent at least 10 hours on it.

She leaves a message telling me she heard I finished the CD and sent

it already but had not done as " she " asked. She wanted to send more

pics to add. I had told her when she told me that it might take her a

year to find them all. I told her I would be happy to add those in for

her CD and make her a new one when she got me the pics but for now the

rest of the family didnt want to wait a year. so I wanted them to have

thiers now. Had all the pics they wanted on it. She tells me to either

send her , her 100 bucks back or send her the program so my brother

and her can work on it there would be easier for her she says. I am

just so angry as this was the one time people were genuinely happy

about something I had done. It was my gift and even though she gave me

money for the program I am the one who put my time and heart into

doing it . now its about her. I dont want to send the money or the

frikkin program. I shouldnt have to ugh. I could spit nails about

now.any thoughts on what to do?

[Guest guest]

Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

future.

, it's really great that you waited to think about calling her

back and got her second message. That way you didn't have to subject

yourself to being put on the spot by nada. Way to go! I think if you

follow Jackie's advice or come up with something else that you'd be

comfortable with (again, it can wait if you'd prefer to speak with

your psychiatrist first), you'll be that much better off.

Melany

[Guest guest]

Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

future.

, it's really great that you waited to think about calling her

back and got her second message. That way you didn't have to subject

yourself to being put on the spot by nada. Way to go! I think if you

follow Jackie's advice or come up with something else that you'd be

comfortable with (again, it can wait if you'd prefer to speak with

your psychiatrist first), you'll be that much better off.

Melany

[Guest guest]

Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

future.

, it's really great that you waited to think about calling her

back and got her second message. That way you didn't have to subject

yourself to being put on the spot by nada. Way to go! I think if you

follow Jackie's advice or come up with something else that you'd be

comfortable with (again, it can wait if you'd prefer to speak with

your psychiatrist first), you'll be that much better off.

Melany

[Guest guest]

>Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

>future.

thanks...

Jackie

[Guest guest]

>Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

>future.

thanks...

Jackie

[Guest guest]

>Jackie, that sounds like the perfect solution. That way is

being reasonable and neutral in her approach, and neither rebelling

nor submitting, like detachment at its best. I'll have to remember

this advice when most likely I'll be facing something similar in the

>future.

thanks...

Jackie

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hi ,

> >

> > Please do not call her back unless and until you are ready. No

matter

> > the reason for her abuse, the results are the same. Even if you

feel

> > you have to wait until you talk to your psychiatrist again, then

let

> > nada wait. You must take care of yourself first, and that means

> > emotionally as well as in other ways. You should not feel guilty

for

> > caring for yourself first no matter what her situation is or

might be.

> > Take this as a chance, an opportunity to stand up for yourself

and

> > call or not call whenever you are truly ready. If she is really

ill,

> > this may be one of the last times you'll get to do it while she's

> > alive. Standing up for yourself will make you feel so good about

> > yourself in the long run, even though it may be uncomfortable in

the

> > short term.

> >

> > And I hate that so much when nada rages at me then acts like

nothing

> > happened because she feels better now that she's discharged all

of her

> > negative energy on me. It's just not right that she feels okay

about

> > doing that to you, no matter what the situation may be.

> >

> > Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

> > Melany

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You are an adult, and you get to do what you want to do! So, if you

don't want to send her the program, just don't do it! And there is

no way you should send her $100. She is just looking for something

to BP about! She has been able to get away with bossing people and

change the rules at will in the past. You can chose to no

longer 'obey' her irratic commands.

Sylvia

> >

> > Hi ,

> >

> > Please do not call her back unless and until you are ready. No

matter

> > the reason for her abuse, the results are the same. Even if you

feel

> > you have to wait until you talk to your psychiatrist again, then

let

> > nada wait. You must take care of yourself first, and that means

> > emotionally as well as in other ways. You should not feel guilty

for

> > caring for yourself first no matter what her situation is or

might be.

> > Take this as a chance, an opportunity to stand up for yourself

and

> > call or not call whenever you are truly ready. If she is really

ill,

> > this may be one of the last times you'll get to do it while she's

> > alive. Standing up for yourself will make you feel so good about

> > yourself in the long run, even though it may be uncomfortable in

the

> > short term.

> >

> > And I hate that so much when nada rages at me then acts like

nothing

> > happened because she feels better now that she's discharged all

of her

> > negative energy on me. It's just not right that she feels okay

about

> > doing that to you, no matter what the situation may be.

> >

> > Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

> > Melany

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I would send her the programe after she pays for all the DVD's that you made and

to pay you at leat $15.00 an hour for all the work you did. And $15.00 an hour

is a low end price of what could be charged! Plus, and shipping and handeling

charges to get the DVD's to other family members.

Lilly

smhtrain2 wrote:

Hi ,

You are an adult, and you get to do what you want to do! So, if you

don't want to send her the program, just don't do it! And there is

no way you should send her $100. She is just looking for something

to BP about! She has been able to get away with bossing people and

change the rules at will in the past. You can chose to no

longer 'obey' her irratic commands.

Sylvia

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