Re: My experience with 4S

January 31, 2011

In my case I don't think it was learned. I've always had good hearing. The old televisions and computer monitors would drive me crazy when the computer was powered down and the monitor was left on. The candy wrappers and plastic bags are the worst for me. I can be listening to music using earbuds and music be turned up a little louder and can hear people five feet away rustling the wrapper getting one m and m out at a time. Saying things to coworkers is a no no as they would just make more noise. Whensomeone is rubbing there hands together or against there clothing can be heard while watching a tv show with volume at normal or slightly higher level. Jingling of change and/or car keys is another aggravation. In alot of cases whatever the noise is I.e. plastic bags, candy wrappers I hear that over normal conversations - its like someone is taking the wrapper and crinkling it right next to my ear even though they might be ten or fifteen feet away.Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless My experience with 4S Hi Everyone,I'm new to the group and joined specifically to save my marriage. I'm pretty sure I know why I have this condition. And now it seems that my wife is beginning to "catch" it.Background: As a child (I'm 45), my siblings and I would be punished for making "avoidable" noises at the dinner table (e.g., scraping teeth with a fork, humming, chewing with our mouths open, snorting, scraping knives sideways on a plate, etc.) The first infraction during a meal would result in an icy stare from my father and tension in the room for the rest of the meal. A second infraction would result in punishment. The punishment was pretty standard - go to bed for the rest of the day - without finishing themeal. No TV, books, newspapers, magazines, radio, etc. Pretty much just go sit in silence and we'll see you tomorrow. If we cried, he'd come upstairs and "give us something to cry about" - usually a beating with his belt.I'm not looking for sympathy, nor do I want to appear as one of the "it's all my father's fault" people. I'm just laying out the facts as I believe they are related to my 4S.What I "learned" was that making unnecessary sounds would result in punishment; and even if I wasn't the one being punished, I still had to sit through the remainder of the meal - which was punishment in itself. What started out as a nice dinner could end with tension, fear, and anxiety. Over time, everyone at the table would shoot an icy stare at the offender. We all were taking on my father's aversion to everyday sounds. Maybe he had 4S? Sound irritation moved from the dinner table tothe house in general (playing too loudly, creaking the stairs, popping bubble gum, etc), to school, to work, to my own home. The list of sounds that I just can't ignore now includes everything mentioned above plus chewing hard candy, fussing with candy wrappers and plastic bags, chewing ice, playing with coins in a pocket, newscasters with speech impediments, mispronounced words like "shtreet" (instead of "street"), incessant clicking of a pen, typing, lip smacking at the beginning of every sentence, word repetition (i.e. same word being used multiple times in a sentence), feet thudding across the floor above me, chair legs screeching when dragged across a floor, etc, etc.These sounds don't make me fearful or fill me with rage, they irritate and aggravate. My reaction to these sounds can be staring, mimicking the sound, talking loudly enough to drown out the sound, turning up the volume of the tv/radio, leaving the room,etc. I used to say something about it, but people weren't very sympathetic. They'd make more noise just to bug me. Being forced to deal with irritating sounds without vocalizing displeasure caused me to be more passive in my responses.A worst-case scenario for me is when I'm in a meeting or seminar and there are bowls of hard candy at every table. There's always someone that will eat a whole bowl of them - and refill at every break. It may take a minute or so of fussing with the wrapper to get the candy open. Then they crunch the candy rather than letting it dissolve slowly. While doing this, they mindlessly fold the wrapper into the tiniest square possible. Then they begin unwrapping another piece as the final bits of the previous piece are being chomped. This is worst-case for me because I can't focus on the topic being discussed and I can't tune out what I'm hearing. I just sit therestewing - waiting for someone to tell them to SHUT UP; wondering how everyone else can tune it out while I can't; wondering how someone can deliberately be so rude and inconsiderate of others; and looking around the room trying to make eye contact with others that are annoyed but finding no one. Once that person does take a break, someone else picks up where he left off. Eventually, I have to join in as it's the only way to make enough noise to drown out what I'm hearing. The session ends, I've learned nothing, and I've eaten a bunch of candy. During breaks, I've asked other people "Could that guy make more of a racket with the candy?" and the response is always "What guy? I didn't hear anything." Basically they're saying that I have issues.Recently, my wife told me that she's tired of walking on eggshells around me. I was surprised because I just passively and subtly leave the room, turn up the radio,talk, etc when she makes a sound that annoys me. I realize that it's my problem and deal with it the best I can - without directing anger toward her. But she's no dummy. She sees the icy stare out of the corner of her eye; she realizes I'm leaving the room because I don't want to hear her crunch cereal; she knows that using her emory board on her nails will cause me to take the dog out; etc. When she drops a piece of silverware, she now experiences all the feelings I experienced 40 years ago. She becomes tense, waiting for my reaction, knowing I'm completely irritated. I don't want her feeling that way around me. I have to change.As far as I'm concerned, my 4S is a behavioral issue caused by events that occurred an early age and allowed to grow unchecked for decades. Now I need to fix it. I don't think medicines or vitamins are the answer. For me, I think it's "unlearning" thebehavior. My guess is that either hypnosis or completely immersing myself in sounds I hate will be the cure for me. Maybe I should make a recording of the sounds and play them loudly during my commute. If I can tolerate them for an hour straight, I should be able to tolerate the occasional instance.Out of curiosity, have any of you had an early experience similar to mine where punishment may have caused the symptoms of 4S? Or did most people have a relatively normal childhood and feel that 4S is more genetic than environmental? Has anyone tried hypnotism or "sound immersion"?Thanks for listening.MarkPS - I'm not a fan of receiving long emails so I apologize for sending one.

January 31, 2011

Mark,

I can appreciate all that you say, my experience is very much the same. However, I have had years of counseling, etc in addressing the issues revolving around an abusive father, yet nothing has ever been found to be connected to the 4S. I'm still open for other suggestions. I just haven't found a link yet. My father had the same issue and I have a brother and sister with similar issues. Mine just seems to be much worse.

Without medication, I could not function.

I am considering neurofeedback as an option. Also trying new meds through a neurologist that specializes in Tinnitus.

I have learned to cope with the frustration yetr as you described, my wife and kids sure know the reactions and I don't want them to be extra sensitive. I do want them to understand me though, so it's a delicate balance.

Sound immersion for me is every day at the dinner table. I tolerate and get through it. It's not getting better and it's not providing any benefit to quality of life or relationships. I'd love to just "fix it" too, yet have spend over 40 years trying the same.

I believe there is benefit to "unlearning" some of the behaviors. My personal experience would say that it's not going to fix the 4S. It may help one or two specific issues, but overall, doesn't make a siginificant difference.

Keep discussing things with us all. It helps just to put a voice to it.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Mon, January 31, 2011 11:11:12 AMSubject: Re: My experience with 4S

In my case I don't think it was learned. I've always had good hearing. The old televisions and computer monitors would drive me crazy when the computer was powered down and the monitor was left on. The candy wrappers and plastic bags are the worst for me. I can be listening to music using earbuds and music be turned up a little louder and can hear people five feet away rustling the wrapper getting one m and m out at a time. Saying things to coworkers is a no no as they would just make more noise. Whensomeone is rubbing there hands together or against there clothing can be heard while watching a tv show with volume at normal or slightly higher level. Jingling of change and/or car keys is another aggravation. In alot of cases whatever the noise is I.e. plastic bags, candy wrappers I hear that over normal conversations - its like someone is taking the

wrapper and crinkling it right next to my ear even though they might be ten or fifteen feet away.Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless My experience with 4S

Hi Everyone,I'm new to the group and joined specifically to save my marriage. I'm pretty sure I know why I have this condition. And now it seems that my wife is beginning to "catch" it.Background: As a child (I'm 45), my siblings and I would be punished for making "avoidable" noises at the dinner table (e.g., scraping teeth with a fork, humming, chewing with our mouths open, snorting, scraping knives sideways on a plate, etc.) The first infraction during a meal would result in an icy stare from my father and tension in the room for the rest of the meal. A second infraction would result in punishment. The punishment was pretty standard - go to bed for the rest of the day - without finishing the meal. No TV, books, newspapers, magazines, radio, etc. Pretty much just

go sit in silence and we'll see you tomorrow. If we cried, he'd come upstairs and "give us something to cry about" - usually a beating with his belt.I'm not looking for sympathy, nor do I want to appear as one of the "it's all my father's fault" people. I'm just laying out the facts as I believe they are related to my 4S.What I "learned" was that making unnecessary sounds would result in punishment; and even if I wasn't the one being punished, I still had to sit through the remainder of the meal - which was punishment in itself. What started out as a nice dinner could end with tension, fear, and anxiety. Over time, everyone at the table would shoot an icy stare at the offender. We all were taking on my father's aversion to everyday sounds. Maybe he had 4S? Sound irritation moved from the dinner table to the house in general (playing too loudly, creaking the stairs, popping bubble gum,

etc), to school, to work, to my own home. The list of sounds that I just can't ignore now includes everything mentioned above plus chewing hard candy, fussing with candy wrappers and plastic bags, chewing ice, playing with coins in a pocket, newscasters with speech impediments, mispronounced words like "shtreet" (instead of "street"), incessant clicking of a pen, typing, lip smacking at the beginning of every sentence, word repetition (i.e. same word being used multiple times in a sentence), feet thudding across the floor above me, chair legs screeching when dragged across a floor, etc, etc.These sounds don't make me fearful or fill me with rage, they irritate and aggravate. My reaction to these sounds can be staring, mimicking the sound, talking loudly enough to drown out the sound, turning up the volume of the tv/radio, leaving the room, etc. I used to say something about it, but people weren't very sympathetic.

They'd make more noise just to bug me. Being forced to deal with irritating sounds without vocalizing displeasure caused me to be more passive in my responses.A worst-case scenario for me is when I'm in a meeting or seminar and there are bowls of hard candy at every table. There's always someone that will eat a whole bowl of them - and refill at every break. It may take a minute or so of fussing with the wrapper to get the candy open. Then they crunch the candy rather than letting it dissolve slowly. While doing this, they mindlessly fold the wrapper into the tiniest square possible. Then they begin unwrapping another piece as the final bits of the previous piece are being chomped. This is worst-case for me because I can't focus on the topic being discussed and I can't tune out what I'm hearing. I just sit there stewing - waiting for someone to tell them to SHUT UP; wondering how everyone else can

tune it out while I can't; wondering how someone can deliberately be so rude and inconsiderate of others; and looking around the room trying to make eye contact with others that are annoyed but finding no one. Once that person does take a break, someone else picks up where he left off. Eventually, I have to join in as it's the only way to make enough noise to drown out what I'm hearing. The session ends, I've learned nothing, and I've eaten a bunch of candy. During breaks, I've asked other people "Could that guy make more of a racket with the candy?" and the response is always "What guy? I didn't hear anything." Basically they're saying that I have issues.Recently, my wife told me that she's tired of walking on eggshells around me. I was surprised because I just passively and subtly leave the room, turn up the radio, talk, etc when she makes a sound that annoys me. I realize that it's my problem

and deal with it the best I can - without directing anger toward her. But she's no dummy. She sees the icy stare out of the corner of her eye; she realizes I'm leaving the room because I don't want to hear her crunch cereal; she knows that using her emory board on her nails will cause me to take the dog out; etc. When she drops a piece of silverware, she now experiences all the feelings I experienced 40 years ago. She becomes tense, waiting for my reaction, knowing I'm completely irritated. I don't want her feeling that way around me. I have to change.As far as I'm concerned, my 4S is a behavioral issue caused by events that occurred an early age and allowed to grow unchecked for decades. Now I need to fix it. I don't think medicines or vitamins are the answer. For me, I think it's "unlearning" the behavior. My guess is that either hypnosis or completely immersing myself in sounds I

hate will be the cure for me. Maybe I should make a recording of the sounds and play them loudly during my commute. If I can tolerate them for an hour straight, I should be able to tolerate the occasional instance.Out of curiosity, have any of you had an early experience similar to mine where punishment may have caused the symptoms of 4S? Or did most people have a relatively normal childhood and feel that 4S is more genetic than environmental? Has anyone tried hypnotism or "sound immersion"?Thanks for listening.MarkPS - I'm not a fan of receiving long emails so I apologize for sending one.

January 31, 2011