Re: Support NEEDED!!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeff,

I'm a PSCer's spouse and I know what you're saying. This group has

helped me because I've learned so much about this disease. I'm a person

that needs to know what to expect and although the time frame and the

exactness of what and when a different phase of this disease will hit is

so awful, the knowledge helps me. It has also helped me to know that

occasionally I can help one of the rest of you. The PSC is always on my

mind and Walter Payton's cancer (I'm so afraid of cancer in anyform!!)

and death made the whole thing toooo real. I know a lot of people think

a lot differently than me but I have to talk about it. All of our

friends know about this and having their concern, well wishes and

prayers has also helped.

I am the worrier in our family but I often wonder if Phil is really

handling this as well as he appears. We have decided to approach this

as agressively as possible to get listed but you know if he were to get

called, I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Phil was in the

hospital 10 days over the Christmas holidays last year. I didn't have

to balance working because I had the week off. But it was tough. He

and I just got married 2 1/2 years ago and is the best thing that has

ever happened to me. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. I guess I

just try not to dwell on that but it is really very hard. I think we

need to make the best of every minute that we can.

Phil is on ss disability and is able to rest when he has to. We don't

have any kids at home so that helps. We got a kitty and her antics keep

us laughing - that is very important, plus she loves Phil to death and

gives him so much comfort.

Where do we go? To the group, I talk to Phil even though he is the sick

one we don't hide things. He knows that this is as hard for me, maybe

in a different way, as it is for him. We may not have the physical pain

but our whole life has been turned upside down and we are stuck in this

awful limbo. Yes, I know what you're feeling. (Sorry about being so

windy).

Peg

Jeff German wrote:

> Hi everyone, I know that Tina and I don't talk much on the group but

> we do read a very large amout of the messages and keep you all in our

> prayers. This time I need support, it is very hard to watch the one

> you LOVE go through all this crap!!! I guess the Walter Payton thing

> has scared the hell out of me.I know that bile duct cancer is a very

> low amount of people but I can't get it out of my mind. You go on

> everyday and think maybe this tx is ok and life will go back to normal

> after it and live a good life. Then this happens and you think can we

> make it that far. As a husband of a person that has PSC I am not sure

> how I should act, I thought I would be a good person for Tina to talk

> to on bad days, and I do let he vent to me on those days but I have a

> hard time with it myself. Where do we as spouses go for support? Do I

> sound silly or do other spouses feel this way? It is very hard on a

> person when PSC is one of the first thing you think of when you wake

> up and one of the last thing you think of when you go to

> bed.

> Thanks Jeff

> -----------------------------------------------------------------------

> [click here]

> Click here!

> eGroups.com Home: /group/

> www. - Simplifying group communications

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

I'm not the spouse of someone with PSC. My spouse is the spouse of

someone with PSC (me).

I think I know what Tina might need. Hug her, hold her, listen to her

and tell her you will always be there for her. Be a strong shoulder to

cry on and don't tell her you understand. Don't make her talk if she

doesn't want to, but tell her that you are available if she does.

I have been frustrated in the past because my wife just can't really

relate. She's recently had a " false alarm " that might have awakened a

sense of understanding that will help, though I would never wish that

on anyone.

I have been in private contact with someone else in the group, and have

come to the conclusion that I don't really know what I need.

Please e-mail me privately if you like. Tell me specifics. I would be

glad to be there for you from the opposite side of the fence. You

won't offend me by anything you have to say, and you won't hurt me by

what you ask.

Dan

dbertles@...

" jeff german " wrote:

original article:/group//?start=6166

> Hi everyone, I know that Tina and I don't talk much on the group but

we do read a very large amout of the messages and keep you all in our

prayers. This time I need support, it is very hard to watch the one you

LOVE go through all this crap!!! I guess the Walter Payton thing has

scared the hell out of me.I know that bile duct cancer is a very low

amount of people but I can't get it out of my mind. You go on everyday

and think maybe this tx is ok and life will go back to normal after it

and live a good life. Then this happens and you think can we make it

that far. As a husband of a person that has PSC I am not sure how I

should act, I thought I would be a good person for Tina to talk to on

bad days, and I do let he vent to me on those days but I have a hard

time with it myself. Where do we as spouses go for support? Do I sound

silly or do other spouses feel this way? It is very hard on a person

when PSC is one of the first thing you think of when you wake up and

one of the last thing you think of when you go to bed.

>

>

Thanks Jeff

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

My 7 year old son has this (PSC) and is a-symptomatic. He would never understand the facts of what he may be facing down the road and so hasn't been given enough explanation to even connect himself to Walter Payton. I haven't had to contend with his "bad days" yet, but the death of Walter Payton has set me off into major depression for two days now. I just cry every time someone leaves the room. I didn't know Walter personally and am not even a sports fan so I know I'm not greiving over never seeing him again. My son doesn't have symptoms (yet) so I shouldn't have to worry and grieve for him (yet). But I just hate this whole darn disease and it's so unbelievably frustrating to not understand why or how we all became blessed with this mess. My family has tremendous other stressors going on in our lives right now as well, and just getting through each day is a huge struggle. I live for my PSC support friends. I don't always have time to respond, but I read and print regularly. The more I read and understand the more I hope to be able to desensitize myself from some of the pain. Hearing from Tim is always very encouraging. Hearing from and Biddy and many others enables me to see that I have much to be thankful for right now. That I should absorb every minute of good time while it's here. And hearing from Roy reminds me both of my blessings and fortune as well as gives me the courage to face the future.

I think we are all trying to deal with and get beyond the shock of losing one of our own (Walter). With such a rare disease, it's not like we can run out to a local PSC support meeting and embrace with someone who knows what we are going through. I spent the last two days killing time - shopping and getting permission from my kindergartner's teachers to spend the day just observing and hanging out in the classroom - because I needed to keep my mind off the PSC and Walter Payton's death, and yet I didn't want to hang out with friends or family because I might have to talk about it. When my husband told me that Walter Payton died, I could hardly wait to get the kids off to bed so I could log on and see how you all were dealing with the news. Maybe it would have been easier if we had been forwarned that his time was about up or that he had the cancer ...just so that we would have had time to adjust before the final moment. If we can find good in our situations, possibly it would be that we have all been chosen to appreciate the lives we have been given as well as the loved ones around us to share it with. The PSC diagnosis has threatened our security blanket and because of it, we have learned about love in ways that many people may never experience, (or should I say hope never to experience the way that we have).

I don't know what your other support options are, but always remember how much we all care about you and Tina, and know that this support group is here any time of day, any day of the week - even on holidays.

Big Hugs and a few tears,

(You have to close your eyes and hug back now, so I can feel better too. And then pass along my hugs to Tina as I'm sure she must need some as well.)

Support NEEDED!!!!

Hi everyone, I know that Tina and I don't talk much on the group but we do read a very large amout of the messages and keep you all in our prayers. This time I need support, it is very hard to watch the one you LOVE go through all this crap!!! I guess the Walter Payton thing has scared the hell out of me.I know that bile duct cancer is a very low amount of people but I can't get it out of my mind. You go on everyday and think maybe this tx is ok and life will go back to normal after it and live a good life. Then this happens and you think can we make it that far. As a husband of a person that has PSC I am not sure how I should act, I thought I would be a good person for Tina to talk to on bad days, and I do let he vent to me on those days but I have a hard time with it myself. Where do we as spouses go for support? Do I sound silly or do other spouses feel this way? It is very hard on a person when PSC is one of the first thing you think of when you wake up and one of the last thing you think of when you go to bed.

Thanks Jeff

Click here! eGroups.com Home: /group/www. - Simplifying group communications

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

My 7 year old son has this (PSC) and is a-symptomatic. He would never understand the facts of what he may be facing down the road and so hasn't been given enough explanation to even connect himself to Walter Payton. I haven't had to contend with his "bad days" yet, but the death of Walter Payton has set me off into major depression for two days now. I just cry every time someone leaves the room. I didn't know Walter personally and am not even a sports fan so I know I'm not greiving over never seeing him again. My son doesn't have symptoms (yet) so I shouldn't have to worry and grieve for him (yet). But I just hate this whole darn disease and it's so unbelievably frustrating to not understand why or how we all became blessed with this mess. My family has tremendous other stressors going on in our lives right now as well, and just getting through each day is a huge struggle. I live for my PSC support friends. I don't always have time to respond, but I read and print regularly. The more I read and understand the more I hope to be able to desensitize myself from some of the pain. Hearing from Tim is always very encouraging. Hearing from and Biddy and many others enables me to see that I have much to be thankful for right now. That I should absorb every minute of good time while it's here. And hearing from Roy reminds me both of my blessings and fortune as well as gives me the courage to face the future.

I think we are all trying to deal with and get beyond the shock of losing one of our own (Walter). With such a rare disease, it's not like we can run out to a local PSC support meeting and embrace with someone who knows what we are going through. I spent the last two days killing time - shopping and getting permission from my kindergartner's teachers to spend the day just observing and hanging out in the classroom - because I needed to keep my mind off the PSC and Walter Payton's death, and yet I didn't want to hang out with friends or family because I might have to talk about it. When my husband told me that Walter Payton died, I could hardly wait to get the kids off to bed so I could log on and see how you all were dealing with the news. Maybe it would have been easier if we had been forwarned that his time was about up or that he had the cancer ...just so that we would have had time to adjust before the final moment. If we can find good in our situations, possibly it would be that we have all been chosen to appreciate the lives we have been given as well as the loved ones around us to share it with. The PSC diagnosis has threatened our security blanket and because of it, we have learned about love in ways that many people may never experience, (or should I say hope never to experience the way that we have).

I don't know what your other support options are, but always remember how much we all care about you and Tina, and know that this support group is here any time of day, any day of the week - even on holidays.

Big Hugs and a few tears,

(You have to close your eyes and hug back now, so I can feel better too. And then pass along my hugs to Tina as I'm sure she must need some as well.)

Support NEEDED!!!!

Hi everyone, I know that Tina and I don't talk much on the group but we do read a very large amout of the messages and keep you all in our prayers. This time I need support, it is very hard to watch the one you LOVE go through all this crap!!! I guess the Walter Payton thing has scared the hell out of me.I know that bile duct cancer is a very low amount of people but I can't get it out of my mind. You go on everyday and think maybe this tx is ok and life will go back to normal after it and live a good life. Then this happens and you think can we make it that far. As a husband of a person that has PSC I am not sure how I should act, I thought I would be a good person for Tina to talk to on bad days, and I do let he vent to me on those days but I have a hard time with it myself. Where do we as spouses go for support? Do I sound silly or do other spouses feel this way? It is very hard on a person when PSC is one of the first thing you think of when you wake up and one of the last thing you think of when you go to bed.

Thanks Jeff

Click here! eGroups.com Home: /group/www. - Simplifying group communications

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

My 7 year old son has this (PSC) and is a-symptomatic. He would never understand the facts of what he may be facing down the road and so hasn't been given enough explanation to even connect himself to Walter Payton. I haven't had to contend with his "bad days" yet, but the death of Walter Payton has set me off into major depression for two days now. I just cry every time someone leaves the room. I didn't know Walter personally and am not even a sports fan so I know I'm not greiving over never seeing him again. My son doesn't have symptoms (yet) so I shouldn't have to worry and grieve for him (yet). But I just hate this whole darn disease and it's so unbelievably frustrating to not understand why or how we all became blessed with this mess. My family has tremendous other stressors going on in our lives right now as well, and just getting through each day is a huge struggle. I live for my PSC support friends. I don't always have time to respond, but I read and print regularly. The more I read and understand the more I hope to be able to desensitize myself from some of the pain. Hearing from Tim is always very encouraging. Hearing from and Biddy and many others enables me to see that I have much to be thankful for right now. That I should absorb every minute of good time while it's here. And hearing from Roy reminds me both of my blessings and fortune as well as gives me the courage to face the future.

I think we are all trying to deal with and get beyond the shock of losing one of our own (Walter). With such a rare disease, it's not like we can run out to a local PSC support meeting and embrace with someone who knows what we are going through. I spent the last two days killing time - shopping and getting permission from my kindergartner's teachers to spend the day just observing and hanging out in the classroom - because I needed to keep my mind off the PSC and Walter Payton's death, and yet I didn't want to hang out with friends or family because I might have to talk about it. When my husband told me that Walter Payton died, I could hardly wait to get the kids off to bed so I could log on and see how you all were dealing with the news. Maybe it would have been easier if we had been forwarned that his time was about up or that he had the cancer ...just so that we would have had time to adjust before the final moment. If we can find good in our situations, possibly it would be that we have all been chosen to appreciate the lives we have been given as well as the loved ones around us to share it with. The PSC diagnosis has threatened our security blanket and because of it, we have learned about love in ways that many people may never experience, (or should I say hope never to experience the way that we have).

I don't know what your other support options are, but always remember how much we all care about you and Tina, and know that this support group is here any time of day, any day of the week - even on holidays.

Big Hugs and a few tears,

(You have to close your eyes and hug back now, so I can feel better too. And then pass along my hugs to Tina as I'm sure she must need some as well.)

Support NEEDED!!!!

Hi everyone, I know that Tina and I don't talk much on the group but we do read a very large amout of the messages and keep you all in our prayers. This time I need support, it is very hard to watch the one you LOVE go through all this crap!!! I guess the Walter Payton thing has scared the hell out of me.I know that bile duct cancer is a very low amount of people but I can't get it out of my mind. You go on everyday and think maybe this tx is ok and life will go back to normal after it and live a good life. Then this happens and you think can we make it that far. As a husband of a person that has PSC I am not sure how I should act, I thought I would be a good person for Tina to talk to on bad days, and I do let he vent to me on those days but I have a hard time with it myself. Where do we as spouses go for support? Do I sound silly or do other spouses feel this way? It is very hard on a person when PSC is one of the first thing you think of when you wake up and one of the last thing you think of when you go to bed.

Thanks Jeff

Click here! eGroups.com Home: /group/www. - Simplifying group communications

[Guest guest]

When I'm sick with Cholangitis, I want people to be there for me... but not

too close. My family has been wonderful this time. They have let me sleep

as long as I wanted, and offered to cook for me even though I didn't feel

like eating. Sometimes I want to scream, and cry... and it's nice when

someone is there with you when you do it. I personally hate hearing the

words " it's going to be okay " , or " I know how you feel " . Because both of

those statements are wrong. If you're a family member of someone with PSC,

just be there for them, and give them space also.

Love,

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

(alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

passing.

I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

talk I'm here to listen.

Gracie

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

(alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

passing.

I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

talk I'm here to listen.

Gracie

[Guest guest]

Jeff,

You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

(alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

passing.

I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

talk I'm here to listen.

Gracie

[Guest guest]

This whole week has been terribly stressful for us...First Walter...Tyler

being 17 and knowing all about his diseases had a very serious reaction to

the news...Ty is a very up and goofy guy..always joking with

everyone...always a smile on his face...after hearing the news he asked some

questions and then said he was going to bed(early)....I think to just really

think about what he has heard....

Monday night(same night) my mom who lives with us started to not feel

good...looked really bad...called EMTs and went to hosp...she is still there

and has suffered from a heart attack....

Tyler has been running a fever, having migraines, and not feeling well...very

tired...just wants to sleep...but no pain....

OK OK OK enough alright already....I'm starting to spin out of control...

Please no more testing me for awhile ...just give me a short break...just

some time off....it is VERY hard being the caregiver....always having that

stiff upper lip is tiring....Not that I want any sympathy...we all know that

that can be more annoying that help....just being able to vent and know that

someone is listening and silently is thinking of you is enough....

Thanks for being there...all of you...

Luanne Ty's mom

[Guest guest]

This whole week has been terribly stressful for us...First Walter...Tyler

being 17 and knowing all about his diseases had a very serious reaction to

the news...Ty is a very up and goofy guy..always joking with

everyone...always a smile on his face...after hearing the news he asked some

questions and then said he was going to bed(early)....I think to just really

think about what he has heard....

Monday night(same night) my mom who lives with us started to not feel

good...looked really bad...called EMTs and went to hosp...she is still there

and has suffered from a heart attack....

Tyler has been running a fever, having migraines, and not feeling well...very

tired...just wants to sleep...but no pain....

OK OK OK enough alright already....I'm starting to spin out of control...

Please no more testing me for awhile ...just give me a short break...just

some time off....it is VERY hard being the caregiver....always having that

stiff upper lip is tiring....Not that I want any sympathy...we all know that

that can be more annoying that help....just being able to vent and know that

someone is listening and silently is thinking of you is enough....

Thanks for being there...all of you...

Luanne Ty's mom

[Guest guest]

This whole week has been terribly stressful for us...First Walter...Tyler

being 17 and knowing all about his diseases had a very serious reaction to

the news...Ty is a very up and goofy guy..always joking with

everyone...always a smile on his face...after hearing the news he asked some

questions and then said he was going to bed(early)....I think to just really

think about what he has heard....

Monday night(same night) my mom who lives with us started to not feel

good...looked really bad...called EMTs and went to hosp...she is still there

and has suffered from a heart attack....

Tyler has been running a fever, having migraines, and not feeling well...very

tired...just wants to sleep...but no pain....

OK OK OK enough alright already....I'm starting to spin out of control...

Please no more testing me for awhile ...just give me a short break...just

some time off....it is VERY hard being the caregiver....always having that

stiff upper lip is tiring....Not that I want any sympathy...we all know that

that can be more annoying that help....just being able to vent and know that

someone is listening and silently is thinking of you is enough....

Thanks for being there...all of you...

Luanne Ty's mom

[Guest guest]

,

Hugs back to you and everyone in this group.

Its times like this that i appreciate all of you even more.

Michele

[Guest guest]

,

Hugs back to you and everyone in this group.

Its times like this that i appreciate all of you even more.

Michele

[Guest guest]

,

Hugs back to you and everyone in this group.

Its times like this that i appreciate all of you even more.

Michele

[Guest guest]

Jeff:

I know how you feel. It's hard watching someone you love go through this.

There are times I don't know what to say to him. I am the researcher and

it's hard when he asks me questions and the answers aren't good, but I still

have to tell him.

Then there are the times when he doesn't need to say anything. I can tell by

his eyes that's his thinking of this awful disease and what it could do him

(us). There are also times when he offers me support. Walter Payton's death

was tough on both of us, but he let me cry on his shoulder about it. I cry

easily anyway (long distance phone commericials can set me off...).

I'm definately more aware of how precious things are and even though we have

our disagreements, it's hard to stay upset at each other or argue over petty

items because you realize there are more important things. I'm glad I found

this group. It makes it a lot easier once you realize you aren't the only

one dealing with this.

Kenny and I have very supportive families and that helps alot. I'm a pretty

good listener. If you want to compare notes or just vent, feel free to

e-mail me.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeff, as the wife of a person with PSC I can identify with what you are

feeling. It is very hard to deal with the uncertainty of this disease, and

that is what I have the most difficulty with. I find support in these

postings, reading about the experiences of the other people who post. I know

I can do just what you did today, and that someone will send me a kind

message of support, someone who knows just what we are dealing with as a

couple. I also try my best to educate myself, so I can be my husband's

advocate if he needs me to be, and I do that too by reading the postings of

the very astute and unfortunately experienced people in the group. I have no

idea how to comfort my husband other than to be there for him if he needs to

vent, but he is not much of a venter, so to speak. I know that he knows that

I am there for him no matter what comes. It's the not knowing what's ahead

that gets to me the most. Please feel free to e-mail me, I don't know if I

can help, but I can try!

Liz (husband Jim, dx 1998)

[Guest guest]

,

Well said.

Liz (husband PSC '98)

[Guest guest]

,

Well said.

Liz (husband PSC '98)

[Guest guest]

To those in need of support,

I have never considered myself a religious person and became agnostic at 13.

My wife is the exact opposite. She lights candles, believes deeply in god,

and can't figure out why PSC in happening to us (we are also going through

invitro on top of everything else).

I think in some ways the very spiritual may have a more difficult time than

the more scientifically minded. The hardship and the disease and watching

someone you love suffer can evoke a spiritual crises.

She just recently read a book that has given her so much peace of mind. It

is called " When Bad Things Happen To Good People. " It is written by Harold

S. Kushner. Kuschner is a Rabbi who's son died from a rare disease at the

age of 14. It explains how this deeply religious and spiritual man could

retain his belief in god in the face of such tragedy.

I read it and it is a very short and meaningful read. I highly recommend to

those who's faith and belief in god needs to be rejuvenated.

Adam dx96

[Guest guest]

To those in need of support,

I have never considered myself a religious person and became agnostic at 13.

My wife is the exact opposite. She lights candles, believes deeply in god,

and can't figure out why PSC in happening to us (we are also going through

invitro on top of everything else).

I think in some ways the very spiritual may have a more difficult time than

the more scientifically minded. The hardship and the disease and watching

someone you love suffer can evoke a spiritual crises.

She just recently read a book that has given her so much peace of mind. It

is called " When Bad Things Happen To Good People. " It is written by Harold

S. Kushner. Kuschner is a Rabbi who's son died from a rare disease at the

age of 14. It explains how this deeply religious and spiritual man could

retain his belief in god in the face of such tragedy.

I read it and it is a very short and meaningful read. I highly recommend to

those who's faith and belief in god needs to be rejuvenated.

Adam dx96

[Guest guest]

Luanne,

What you desperately need is a BREAK! Okay, this is what you do. One

night, have a friend, or your husband stay home and keep everything sane, and

then you go out and get yourself a manicure, a pedicure...and do some

SHOPPING!!!!! <grin> You can't do everything ALL the time... pamper

yourself a little bit too!

Love,

[Guest guest]

Gracie,

From what I've heard from you, I'm sure you are definately passing.

Peg

krooner1@... wrote:

> Jeff,

>

> You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

> been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

> what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

> Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

> dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

> (alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

> him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

> everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

> have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

> this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

> anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

> passing.

>

> I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

> talk I'm here to listen.

>

> Gracie

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Gracie,

From what I've heard from you, I'm sure you are definately passing.

Peg

krooner1@... wrote:

> Jeff,

>

> You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

> been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

> what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

> Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

> dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

> (alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

> him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

> everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

> have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

> this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

> anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

> passing.

>

> I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

> talk I'm here to listen.

>

> Gracie

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Click on Instant Credit Card Approval at

> http://clickhere./click/1271

>

> -- 20 megs of disk space in your eGroup's Document Vault

> -- /docvault//?m=1

[Guest guest]

Gracie,

From what I've heard from you, I'm sure you are definately passing.

Peg

krooner1@... wrote:

> Jeff,

>

> You know I understand. I'm going through the same thing. My hubby has

> been through so much with colon cancer, uc, psc...I hate to think of

> what could happen to him next. But I've been through a lot also.

> Although I don't talk about it,I think about it constantly. I lost my

> dad 4 years ago, shortly after my marriage, to cirhossis of the liver

> (alcoholic). I don't want to lose my husband the same way. I married

> him knowing about all of this, but, I'm also only 32 and I want what

> everyone else has: a family, a normal life where you take trips and

> have fun. I feel guilty even talking this way, because I know none of

> this is Ed's fault. I love him so much and I'm ready to go through

> anything for him. Sometimes I think it's a test from above. I hope I'm

> passing.

>

> I'm sorry I probably wasn't any help to you at all! But if you want to

> talk I'm here to listen.

>

> Gracie

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Click on Instant Credit Card Approval at

> http://clickhere./click/1271

>

> -- 20 megs of disk space in your eGroup's Document Vault

> -- /docvault//?m=1