Re: When to open up?

[Guest guest]

That's fantastic! I spent a lot of years getting agitated " at him " and being

fidgety because I wasn't aware of the BPD upheavals...like seeing the tidal wave

and not the earthquake that caused it. Sounds like you're way ahead of the ball

game. Congratulations! -

Lilly LaFlure wrote: We have learned to

become very open with one another. We, have extra to work thru because we are

both KO's. So, we have both have " twitches " and or " triggers " . I figured out one

of mine this week, while I was suppose to be down with my messed up foot. I felt

so guilty and horrible that I wasn't still doing all of my housework. Fiance was

getting mad, because I wouldn't stay down and take care of myself. We finally

figured out that we were both " twitching " and worked things out.

Lilly

L Kay wrote:

I had a similar experience with my husband, Lilly - and we're at 29 years going

on 30. One word of advice - keep the communication relentlessly open. As KO's,

small things become big very quickly since the roots are so well established.

Talk out anything that gives you a " twitch " until you find out what triggered

it. Until I understood BPD, I'd feel a twinge sometimes and ignore it, only to

find out it had become huge overnight. Now we STOP and get to the root as soon

as I feel the shift, and our relationship remains solid. -

mitchell_kristin wrote: Lilly,

That is too sweet!! Sounds like a great guy.

> > > >

> > > > Same here for the 'bad boy syndrome'. I was attracted to

> > controlling,

> > > > abusive men. My first boyfriend after I left home picked up

where

> > nada

> > > > left off. In retrospect, I believe he was both NPD and

> > antisocial, he

> > > > did so many bad things, and really took advantage of the fact

> > that I

> > > > didn't trust my perception of reality. He convinced me once

when I

> > > > found a girl's wallet in his bedroom that it was his wallet,

even

> > > > though he hated all things remotely girly. The best thing

that guy

> > > > ever did for me was break up with me (for some twisted

paranoid

> > > > reason). I admire you for being strong enough to be

the

> > one to

> > > > end the relationship.

> > > >

> > > > I also was tricked into thinking my current SO was a bad boy,

but

> > came

> > > > to realize that he's just a softie with a thin bad boy shell.

It

> > is

> > > > weirdly stable with him, as there is no drug dealing or

using, no

> > > > violent outbursts against anyone who makes a pass at me, no

> > > > 'questionably might be rape' situations. I think maybe us KOs

> > became

> > > > so used to a constant adrenaline producing environment that

it

> > feels

> > > > weird not to have that.

> > > >

> > > > Mel

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Don't be flakey. Get Yahoo! Mail for Mobile and

> always stay connected to friends.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Nahhhh I am not way ahead of the ball game. Just everyonce in awhile I actually

pay attention to the ball game!(LOL)

Lilly

L Kay wrote:

That's fantastic! I spent a lot of years getting agitated " at him " and

being fidgety because I wasn't aware of the BPD upheavals...like seeing the

tidal wave and not the earthquake that caused it. Sounds like you're way ahead

of the ball game. Congratulations! -

Lilly LaFlure wrote: We have learned to become

very open with one another. We, have extra to work thru because we are both

KO's. So, we have both have " twitches " and or " triggers " . I figured out one of

mine this week, while I was suppose to be down with my messed up foot. I felt so

guilty and horrible that I wasn't still doing all of my housework. Fiance was

getting mad, because I wouldn't stay down and take care of myself. We finally

figured out that we were both " twitching " and worked things out.

Lilly

L Kay wrote:

I had a similar experience with my husband, Lilly - and we're at 29 years going

on 30. One word of advice - keep the communication relentlessly open. As KO's,

small things become big very quickly since the roots are so well established.

Talk out anything that gives you a " twitch " until you find out what triggered

it. Until I understood BPD, I'd feel a twinge sometimes and ignore it, only to

find out it had become huge overnight. Now we STOP and get to the root as soon

as I feel the shift, and our relationship remains solid. -

mitchell_kristin wrote: Lilly,

That is too sweet!! Sounds like a great guy.

> > > >

> > > > Same here for the 'bad boy syndrome'. I was attracted to

> > controlling,

> > > > abusive men. My first boyfriend after I left home picked up

where

> > nada

> > > > left off. In retrospect, I believe he was both NPD and

> > antisocial, he

> > > > did so many bad things, and really took advantage of the fact

> > that I

> > > > didn't trust my perception of reality. He convinced me once

when I

> > > > found a girl's wallet in his bedroom that it was his wallet,

even

> > > > though he hated all things remotely girly. The best thing

that guy

> > > > ever did for me was break up with me (for some twisted

paranoid

> > > > reason). I admire you for being strong enough to be

the

> > one to

> > > > end the relationship.

> > > >

> > > > I also was tricked into thinking my current SO was a bad boy,

but

> > came

> > > > to realize that he's just a softie with a thin bad boy shell.

It

> > is

> > > > weirdly stable with him, as there is no drug dealing or

using, no

> > > > violent outbursts against anyone who makes a pass at me, no

> > > > 'questionably might be rape' situations. I think maybe us KOs

> > became

> > > > so used to a constant adrenaline producing environment that

it

> > feels

> > > > weird not to have that.

> > > >

> > > > Mel

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Don't be flakey. Get Yahoo! Mail for Mobile and

> always stay connected to friends.

>

>