Re: A rant, please forgive me

[Guest guest]

We can't be strong 100% of the time 24/7! Give yourself a break...and a hug Pound your fists, stomp your feet and scream if you need to. But in the end know that we are all here for you, we all have days like you are having and there is a new day after the sunset!!!! If life wasn't difficult at some points we would never know when it was "really" good! I don't want to give you pat answers cause I know thats not what you need. Just do what you need to to get through it, and know I am here for yoU!

Anita

A rant, please forgive me

Today is probably the worst for me emotionally. I am not functioning well and as a result I feel like everything I do is a last ditch effort to make it from one minute to the next. My legs feel like rubber and when I try to walk they give out, I cannot stop crying for anything and its almost hysterical sobbing one minute to half crying half laughing the next. I just threw an entire laundry basket full of freshly folded clothes across the kitchen because I couldn't find the mate to a sock. I unsubbed to every group I am on but this one because I felt overwhelmed by mail. I sent everyone away from the house so I didn' t have to deal and now feel SOOOO guilty about it. My temper is on a short circuit and the littlest thing sets me off, I am not a violent person but I feel myself seething inside. I cannot gather my emotions up into a manageable pile and feel rather desperate and hopeless. I am at my wits end today and the things I am doing to try and stay focused, to keep my mind on some inane trivial detail is backfiring on me. Its like I almost feel people are against me and attacking me. I know just re-reading that how stupid it sounds. I am to the point of scaring myself, not out of fear that I might try and hurt myself or anyone else but out of fear that I am losing my mind. What can I do? What is there to do? Should I seek medical help or let it ride knowing that it will pass. I mean it will pass won't it. Now that the house is empty I want someone here with me, I don't want to be alone. This sounds like such a cop out, like I am weak and selfish, like my goal in life is to garner sympathy. I just know that at this moment the rug has been pulled out from under me and I am falling down, I just need to wait to land. It too late for this, but I am sorry to place this on everyone but I knew if anyone had any idea about what I should do, it would be my family here.

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