Im not as think as you drunk I am

[Guest guest]

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and

not come back.

When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day

become like my mother.

An alcoholic.

Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

Almost a dirty word.

And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an alcoholic " ..and

this being general opinion, not my own.

I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she

had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit,

but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

To this I can relate.

We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear

that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

We are Masters of Control.

I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand.

When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to

interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic

depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish

itself.

Bah!

Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

What then?

We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this, for putting into words how we pretty much all feel.

Masters of control, indeed. And it trickles into other aspects of our lives. I

know it does into mine: to be in control is to be safe, at least for that time

being.

They call me 'control freak' but they expect me to control my reactions. And I

do, they have no idea how much I do. I still want to be part of society, have

friends, be with my lover, but sometimes I wish I could just be alone alone

alone.

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this, for putting into words how we pretty much all feel.

Masters of control, indeed. And it trickles into other aspects of our lives. I

know it does into mine: to be in control is to be safe, at least for that time

being.

They call me 'control freak' but they expect me to control my reactions. And I

do, they have no idea how much I do. I still want to be part of society, have

friends, be with my lover, but sometimes I wish I could just be alone alone

alone.

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

WOW. That's powerful.

My goal is to isolate, identify and find a cure for that " underlying

dysfunction " because you are so right: the rest of it is all in response to it

and an attempt to cope with it.

I know my sensitivity went through the roof when I stopped drinking (23 years

ago) and has pretty much stayed there. Alcohol is a depressant and it worked

for me for many years but I had to stop because I could no longer control my

consumption. My genetics are not just misophonic but alcoholic too . . .

hmmmmm.

> >

> > When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> > When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> > An alcoholic.

> > Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> > Almost a dirty word.

> > And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> > Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> > I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> > To this I can relate.

> > We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> > too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> > We are Masters of Control.

> > I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> > When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> > You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we

were kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> > To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> > This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups

of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> > like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> > these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> > They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> > Bah!

> > Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> > What then?

> > We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger

like we are raw to the touch?

> > Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> > My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to

understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can

only imagine what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the

struggls that are before us.

> > So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

WOW. That's powerful.

My goal is to isolate, identify and find a cure for that " underlying

dysfunction " because you are so right: the rest of it is all in response to it

and an attempt to cope with it.

I know my sensitivity went through the roof when I stopped drinking (23 years

ago) and has pretty much stayed there. Alcohol is a depressant and it worked

for me for many years but I had to stop because I could no longer control my

consumption. My genetics are not just misophonic but alcoholic too . . .

hmmmmm.

> >

> > When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> > When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> > An alcoholic.

> > Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> > Almost a dirty word.

> > And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> > Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> > I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> > To this I can relate.

> > We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> > too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> > We are Masters of Control.

> > I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> > When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> > You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we

were kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> > To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> > This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups

of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> > like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> > these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> > They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> > Bah!

> > Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> > What then?

> > We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger

like we are raw to the touch?

> > Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> > My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to

understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can

only imagine what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the

struggls that are before us.

> > So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

If you don't mind, I would like to print this one out. To me it very much sums things up.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, December 28, 2011 4:47:56 AMSubject: Im not as think as you drunk I am

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and not come back.When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day become like my mother.An alcoholic.Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.Almost a dirty word.And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be "an alcoholic"..and this being general opinion, not my own.I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?To this I can relate.We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understandstoo well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear

that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost control in the midst of an attack.We are Masters of Control.I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers, that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.You want an off switch, a pause button, a "safe" to call out like when we were kids playing tag or hide and seek.To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously, mentally and sometimes physically.This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue

into other cups of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.They say.." Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish itself.Bah! Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the "UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION" is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in general CAN NOT grasp!??What then?We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like we are raw to the touch?Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are before us.So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

If you don't mind, I would like to print this one out. To me it very much sums things up.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Wed, December 28, 2011 4:47:56 AMSubject: Im not as think as you drunk I am

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and not come back.When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day become like my mother.An alcoholic.Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.Almost a dirty word.And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be "an alcoholic"..and this being general opinion, not my own.I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?To this I can relate.We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understandstoo well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear

that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost control in the midst of an attack.We are Masters of Control.I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers, that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.You want an off switch, a pause button, a "safe" to call out like when we were kids playing tag or hide and seek.To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously, mentally and sometimes physically.This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue

into other cups of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.They say.." Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish itself.Bah! Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the "UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION" is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in general CAN NOT grasp!??What then?We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like we are raw to the touch?Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are before us.So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

Beautifully expressedSent from my iPhone

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and not come back.

When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day become like my mother.

An alcoholic.

Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

Almost a dirty word.

And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be "an alcoholic"..and this being general opinion, not my own.

I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

To this I can relate.

We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost control in the midst of an attack.

We are Masters of Control.

I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers, that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

You want an off switch, a pause button, a "safe" to call out like when we were kids playing tag or hide and seek.

To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously, mentally and sometimes physically.

This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

They say.." Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish itself.

Bah!

Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the "UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION" is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in general CAN NOT grasp!??

What then?

We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like we are raw to the touch?

Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are before us.

So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

Beautifully expressedSent from my iPhone

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and not come back.

When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day become like my mother.

An alcoholic.

Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

Almost a dirty word.

And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be "an alcoholic"..and this being general opinion, not my own.

I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

To this I can relate.

We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost control in the midst of an attack.

We are Masters of Control.

I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers, that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

You want an off switch, a pause button, a "safe" to call out like when we were kids playing tag or hide and seek.

To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously, mentally and sometimes physically.

This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

They say.." Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish itself.

Bah!

Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the "UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION" is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in general CAN NOT grasp!??

What then?

We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like we are raw to the touch?

Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are before us.

So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

Beautifully expressedSent from my iPhone

When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away... and not come back.

When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one day become like my mother.

An alcoholic.

Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

Almost a dirty word.

And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be "an alcoholic"..and this being general opinion, not my own.

I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

To this I can relate.

We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost control in the midst of an attack.

We are Masters of Control.

I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers, that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

You want an off switch, a pause button, a "safe" to call out like when we were kids playing tag or hide and seek.

To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously, mentally and sometimes physically.

This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

They say.." Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually abolish itself.

Bah!

Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the "UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION" is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in general CAN NOT grasp!??

What then?

We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like we are raw to the touch?

Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are before us.

So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

[Guest guest]

My thanks to each of you who expressed appreciation of my sentiments.

For those of you who have asked, to whom this resonates, I dont mind if you

print or share what was written.

Allow me to clarify one thing though... I am not advocating alcohol as a means

to manage this condition we all share. I realize it may seem, to some, that I am

saying this is an answer to our affliction.

It is not. Alcohol is a crutch, a bandaid, as are many other things that people

use to cope, dull or deal:like food, drugs, sex,even drama.

What I wrote wasn't an advice article or an advertisment for a magic solution.

It was simply a glimpse into another facette of the condition that we suffer.

Can alcohol,or any outside thing, compound the troubles we already suffer?

Well sure it can.

Our healing is not going to be found in a drink.

My aim is to share with others what it is to live with Misophonia, from my

unique perspective at this point in my life.

This is just an honest admission of where I am standing ,personally, on this

path through the tangeled, frightening and very overwhelming land of Misophonia.

Keep in mind that we also often share other interesting qualities with one

another and this only comes to light when one of us opens the door and discusses

it.

At the same time as my story is cathartic, it is also a question to others about

how they personally cope and an introduction to the revelence of familial

addicion in our community.

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

My thanks to each of you who expressed appreciation of my sentiments.

For those of you who have asked, to whom this resonates, I dont mind if you

print or share what was written.

Allow me to clarify one thing though... I am not advocating alcohol as a means

to manage this condition we all share. I realize it may seem, to some, that I am

saying this is an answer to our affliction.

It is not. Alcohol is a crutch, a bandaid, as are many other things that people

use to cope, dull or deal:like food, drugs, sex,even drama.

What I wrote wasn't an advice article or an advertisment for a magic solution.

It was simply a glimpse into another facette of the condition that we suffer.

Can alcohol,or any outside thing, compound the troubles we already suffer?

Well sure it can.

Our healing is not going to be found in a drink.

My aim is to share with others what it is to live with Misophonia, from my

unique perspective at this point in my life.

This is just an honest admission of where I am standing ,personally, on this

path through the tangeled, frightening and very overwhelming land of Misophonia.

Keep in mind that we also often share other interesting qualities with one

another and this only comes to light when one of us opens the door and discusses

it.

At the same time as my story is cathartic, it is also a question to others about

how they personally cope and an introduction to the revelence of familial

addicion in our community.

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

My thanks to each of you who expressed appreciation of my sentiments.

For those of you who have asked, to whom this resonates, I dont mind if you

print or share what was written.

Allow me to clarify one thing though... I am not advocating alcohol as a means

to manage this condition we all share. I realize it may seem, to some, that I am

saying this is an answer to our affliction.

It is not. Alcohol is a crutch, a bandaid, as are many other things that people

use to cope, dull or deal:like food, drugs, sex,even drama.

What I wrote wasn't an advice article or an advertisment for a magic solution.

It was simply a glimpse into another facette of the condition that we suffer.

Can alcohol,or any outside thing, compound the troubles we already suffer?

Well sure it can.

Our healing is not going to be found in a drink.

My aim is to share with others what it is to live with Misophonia, from my

unique perspective at this point in my life.

This is just an honest admission of where I am standing ,personally, on this

path through the tangeled, frightening and very overwhelming land of Misophonia.

Keep in mind that we also often share other interesting qualities with one

another and this only comes to light when one of us opens the door and discusses

it.

At the same time as my story is cathartic, it is also a question to others about

how they personally cope and an introduction to the revelence of familial

addicion in our community.

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

My father suffered from severe sound sensitivity and was an alcoholic. He died

in an automobile accident on Thanksgiving. He was drunk. Thank goodness no one

else was injured.

I absolutely understand why he was an alcoholic because I know how much alcohol

can help with my 4S. I have researched it a little and it seems that it

increases GABA in the brain.

I wish he would have known that other people suffered just like he did. I am

sure he felt alone and isolated. I know that everyone in this group

understands, and that is why I can post this message freely. The holidays can

be so difficult for people with 4S. I am grateful for the support of this

group. Thank you all so much!

a

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

My father suffered from severe sound sensitivity and was an alcoholic. He died

in an automobile accident on Thanksgiving. He was drunk. Thank goodness no one

else was injured.

I absolutely understand why he was an alcoholic because I know how much alcohol

can help with my 4S. I have researched it a little and it seems that it

increases GABA in the brain.

I wish he would have known that other people suffered just like he did. I am

sure he felt alone and isolated. I know that everyone in this group

understands, and that is why I can post this message freely. The holidays can

be so difficult for people with 4S. I am grateful for the support of this

group. Thank you all so much!

a

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>

[Guest guest]

My father suffered from severe sound sensitivity and was an alcoholic. He died

in an automobile accident on Thanksgiving. He was drunk. Thank goodness no one

else was injured.

I absolutely understand why he was an alcoholic because I know how much alcohol

can help with my 4S. I have researched it a little and it seems that it

increases GABA in the brain.

I wish he would have known that other people suffered just like he did. I am

sure he felt alone and isolated. I know that everyone in this group

understands, and that is why I can post this message freely. The holidays can

be so difficult for people with 4S. I am grateful for the support of this

group. Thank you all so much!

a

>

> When I was a wee child my greatest fear was that my mother would go away...

and not come back.

> When I grew to understand more of the World my fear became that I would one

day become like my mother.

> An alcoholic.

> Oh my....what a loaded word that is for me. To this day even.

> Almost a dirty word.

> And i tell you, my curse jar is loaded to overflow with recompense.. so Id

certainly know a dirty word when I stumble on one.

> Well, my mother,bless her soul, was in general opinion to be " an

alcoholic " ..and this being general opinion, not my own.

> I cant say to this day if my poor mother was sick in that way or not. I know

she had a many demons trouble her soul, and drink may have quieted them down a

bit, but was it the drink or the deamons who brought her to her end?

> To this I can relate.

> We all know the deamon of our condition, each of us understands

> too well the bite of annoyance, the burn of rage, the endless black pit of

fear that looms before us when we contemplate what it would be like if we lost

control in the midst of an attack.

> We are Masters of Control.

> I am impressed at times when I contemplate the measure with which I have

mastered control over my impulses.We are a people who are mega aware and act

with delicate awareness because to do anything else would result in calamity.

> When you enter a room, any room, you scan for the safest place to sit or

stand. When you are surrounded by unknown people you find the least threatening

to interact with.When you have been out all day , or in, surrouned by triggers,

that you have suppressed,you feel raw,unnerved,mentaly exhausted.

> You want an off switch, a pause button, a " safe " to call out like when we were

kids playing tag or hide and seek.

> To have this condition is to feel drained and overwhelmed simotainiously,

mentally and sometimes physically.

> This condition is a torture because it laps its ugly tongue into other cups of

unbalance, like OCD,depression,anorexia and who knows what else.

> like alcoholism.or eating. or medications.

> these are symptoms of an underlying dysfunction.

> They say.. " Deal with the underlying dysfunction, heal that, and the

symptomatic depression, drinking, drug use, binge eating, etc. will eventually

abolish itself.

> Bah!

> Thats super great sparkly awesome neato advice...except.... what if the

" UNDERLYING DYSFUNCTION " is something that most freakin physcotherapists..LET

ALONE parents, spouses, peers, children, coworkers, friends and society in

general CAN NOT grasp!??

> What then?

> We just go throuh life wife our skin in side out ,, feeling every trigger like

we are raw to the touch?

> Cringing inwardly in public,social situations..our family dinner table?

> My greatest fear is no longer being like my mother. I have come to understand

that she, like each of us, had her own battles to fight and I can only imagine

what they were. We each have our methods for coping with the struggls that are

before us.

> So, and after my affirmations and deep breathing and vigilent grip on my

reactive nature if I want a glass of wine at the end of the day, so be it.

>